"If we didn't get the chicken wings so what; we've still got that Meat Lover's pizza in the trunk."

Toastie: "So I says to the guy, wrecked 'em, damn near killed 'em."

Oh, hello. Didn't see you come in. So what's up there my Toastedblog fans? Here, not much. Except my BROTHER is in town!! Yee-haw!! Its not half bad too. He has the week off from work and decided to drive out here from the Michigan for a visit. Cory rolled into town at about 9 pm last night, just as I was coming back from beers over at good buddy Charlie's place. Needless to say its great to see him here. We sat around chatting for a bit and laughing at these old pictures of my father from our childhood. But we needed more, and a trip to see the wonderful Rachel at the Blarney Stone was in order. Few things are as enjoyable as having a couple beers with your younger brother.

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug!
This morning brought us a trip to Armory Square and a run in with the store Soundgarden. Not much was picked up by the Toast as I was kinda just along for the ride. See my brother is a huge Dave Matthews fan and their new album just dropped. What, you don't think the Toast knows how it is on the streets?? Anyway, I did decide to pick up the new Ben Folds album. At first listen, all things seem to be in order, although its a little mellow. But I suppose the majority of his music is that way so what the hell am I talking about? For the rest of the week though, not quite sure what the plans will be. I'm sure we'll figure something out.

For example, today is Wreckin' Ball's birthday. She's having a gathering at Coleman's for a bit this evening and the Toast intends to be there for moral support. Oooh, and maybe a corned beef sandwich!!

Finally, this past sunday was Mother's Day. For those of you who don't know my mother and I have an interesting relationship. I just wanted to take a moment and say a quick Happy Mother's Day and despite all of the quarrels and fights over the years, I love you Mom, and always will.

"You as Cold as Ice"

Lately I have been getting accustomed to the whole downloading procedure with the Toast's new computer and have spent some time acquiring as many episode's of Chappelle Show as possible. Today's Toastedblog title obviously is in reference to this but also has another meaning. Tomorrow, I am meeting a few of my ex coworkers for Happy Hour at Colemans. One of the many topics that is sure to come up, the way in which I was let go recently. Ooh, they as cold as ice!!

I'm one of the baddest mutha (beep) of all time
In any event I am to meet up with some of the many ladies that I used to work with. No Toasted fans, it won't be in "that" way. These ladies all are pretty much engaged or married, some even with children. It isn't to be a Friday night sexcapade. Should be interesting though. I got to be pretty close with one coworker in paticular, Michele. In an office pretty much full of ladies she was one of the only sources of "normal" conversation. As opposed to banter on reality TV or bridal registry. She is a fellow Sox fan and does enjoy College Football (Her and her husband Ken went to Ohio State). With that being said I suppose I can't hold the liking of Ben Affleck against her.

Otherwise it is pretty much a typical weekend to look forward to for the Toast. I have to drive to Kingston, Ontario for a rugby match on Saturday. Its our first match in a few weeks but I'm all set. I just need to remember to bring my passport and birth certificate. My international trip has taught me that. Do I need to bring up the Montreal Expos trip?

Customs Lady: "Casey. Mark. Next time remember your proper identification."

Willie Moe and Danny: "Who are Casey and Mark?"

The other big news going on here is that my brother is returning to Syracuse for about a week. He'll be here without his girlfriend Josalyn as well. Don't get me wrong, I like Josalyn. She's great people!! But we all know how different dudes can act when they are around their ladyfriends, as opposed to just hanging out with the boys. Needless to say that I am looking forward to it.

O.K., I'm out. YAY Cinco De Mayo!!

Good Bird, a Three Legged Dog, Mindless Trivia, and Local Radio Personality Scorch; Just Your Typical Wednesday Night with the Toast

Well, its been a little bit since I have written quality Toastedblog material; some of my audience may be racking their brains right now to see if there is actually one entry that could actually be labeled "quality". However, today's subject has some merit, trust me. How do I know?? Have you ever heard of the Wednesday night patio party at the Beginning II?? Oooh, hurts so good!!

Anywho, the day began yesterday with the Toast here all amped up for the Sox v. Orioles on ESPN and a possible rendezvous with Willie Moe Emerson for some eats and ESPN MLB 2K5 (my latest and greatest purchase). However, I was met with early disappointment seeing as how the Sox game was all set for rain delay by the time I went to watch Sportscenter. Soon, we see that the rain in Boston did not stop and the game was postponed for a later date. Talk about a tremendous dang it. Here I was all set to watch the Sox in the early afternoon while I did my daily resume sending and trying to find the Toast a new jobby job. But I refused to give up on my Wednesday.

While searching Monster.com and the local Syracuse paper's want ad's, I decided to ask our dear friend Uncle Jitter about his online gaming ability via IM for what I did not tell you was that with my purchase of a new baseball game, I had to go out a get a new PS2 for mine had decided to die on me over the past few months. I blame the 4 foot tumble it took of the top of Danny's TV a few years ago during some drunken football playing or the rogue mission taken by MacGuyver Chuck to personally take it apart and get my PS2 fully functioning again. You see, this new PS2 I picked up is online ready, but now I am getting off track. This was not how this blog was supposed to go here.

But Toast, how is this blog supposed to read exactly?

Well, I will tell you. Jitter and I got to talking for a little bit and all of the sudden one night in particular came up in conversation. Think back to the Lancaster Days following my graduation. Javen, Jitter, you may know explicitly what I am referring to. You see, the Beginning II (BII for future reference) has a killer special on Wednesdays in the spring and summer. For the low low price of about $8 you can go out back on their patio and have an all you can eat and drink BBQ from 6pm-9pm. I don't know about you my internet readers, but the Toast can pack in quite a bit of booze and bird in that amount of time. We all used to hit up this deal, drink as much as we could, and our wonderful personalities got us the ability to be able to take a plate of various meats leftover from the BBQ for some key late night drunken gorging. The one trip to the BII that Jitter brought up was how on the drive to another bar, JD's tavern, and the ride home later that night, I was able to polish off every piece of chicken that we took as leftovers. Jitter had been driving and asked for some delicious bird to munch on. With no chicken in sight, I opted to give him a hot dog. Maybe he wouldn't notice. Angrily, he denied my offer.

This talk struck a nerve with the Toast yesterday and I immediately sprung into action.

" Jitter, do you think that the Patio Parties at BII may have started yet this year??"

Quickly, I called Willie Moe to see what he knew. Finding only off the wall responses of movie quotes from Super Troopers (say Car RamRod) and inane babbling, I figured this may not be the best place for me to have checked. Don't you worry Toastedblog fans, Jitter forwarded me the number to the BII and I placed the call myself. JACKPOT!!! I should warn you, this blog may be trying on the eyes and mind for it is getting pretty long. You Portuguese readers may want to re-bock for this because now we get to the heart of the order. I give you, the run down of my Wednesday evening.

5:30 pm: I drive in the Toasted Jeep to pick up Willie Moe. Only word from Billy Ball is that he will be at Clark's at 8 for trivia. Conversation on the drive over to the BII includes topics such as: gosh, we haven't been to the BII in a while, remember the time that the drunk BOC fan came with us to Trapper's and we disguised him as Jitter's Uncle Jim by tucking in his shirt because he kept saying that they wouldn't allow him in there anymore, hey, Astro Lanes now is called Bella Luna, when did that happen.

6:00 pm- 8:00 pm: Ah, the first beer. There is something new to the BII lineup, door prizes!! They give you ticket when you pay for some drawing held at 8:45, just before the special ends. We don't know what the prizes will be, but I am sure Jitter would discribe this as a fancy play!! Ooh, local radio personality and crappy DJ "Scorch" has decided to grace dive bar goers with his presence. Why wouldn't he be here?? And look, he brought all his fellow radio workers with him, all dressed in their black 105.3 "The Dog" hooded sweatshirts. Speaking of dogs, there is a three legged dog that has decided to familiarize himself with Willie Moe's crotch. Just typical BII behavior right there. Let me tell you though, the spread was phenominal!! We're talking italian sausage, ribs, bird, burgers, dogs, mac salad (a personal favorite), and some questionable looking potato salad. Throw in some endless Miller Lite Draft, you've got some good times. Other highlights to include, some loner at the bar getting all amped up when "Scorch" hands him two free passes to see the hit action movie XXX "State of the Union", only one attractive female in the entire bar and watching local radio personality "Scorch" hitting on her endlessly, crappy NBA playoff talk, running into the father of my rugby teammate Bill "Roofy" Ferris, Willie Moe saying you know that he's a dude when he's drinking a tall Pabst can, trying to apply for the position of Tap Master (the BII has caught on to us just filling multiple beers and stockpiling them at our table for endless free beers following the conclusion of the special and put some dude manning the keg at portions of the evening).

8:00-8:30 pm: Will is cold and he desires pants. That's right Billy Ball, Willie Moe is not wearing pants. We head back to his apartment for a quick stop on the way to trivia. It is here that a cleverly placed phone call from our Uncle Jitter is received, he caught us early in our drunkening. Random banter is passed to and fro and in the end Willie Moe and lady friend Jaime follow the Toast to meet Billy at Clark's for weekly Team Bo Hall trivia.

8:30-11:30 pm: Ok, this is where we get interesting. Walk into Clark's and not gonna lie to you, have a bit of a buzz working. Slamming 10 miller lites will do that to ya. We meet up with Billy, Rage Cage, Billy's sister Kate and her Wed Tilliams hating, plus her man friend, and let us not forget tasty screamers and a recent Toasted favorite, the Prior Double Dark. I instantly clash with Billy Ball in his response to the question of how old was Ronald Reagan when he was elected president in 1980. (I told him that Reagan was 70) Anywho. we just get louder at a packed house there at Clarks and not to brag, we did pretty well. I get ragged on a bit for believing that we have second place locked up following the last round of trivia, and we ended up placing fourth. Not a tremendous dang it but one can never argue when they give you a gift certificate for placing third or better. We continue to stay for a few more beers and good conversation. Really, just fun rambling at this point. We make fun of Billy's brother, the infamous Beach Justice, make fun of the Toast and his joblessness (I keep telling myself that they didn't mean it) and plenty of sweet beautiful drunk talk. Its what we're good at. Well, that and sports. Ooh Ooh, lets not forget movie quotes. And Kate's man friend is a Radiohead fan, that topic will get the Toast all riled up every time. This is the point in the evening where the Toast and his memory get a little hazy. Oooh, the Toast's computer just started to play "Lay Your Hands on Me" by the Jov. Excuse me while I rock out for a few minutes. Let's turn this one up a bit.

11:30 pm-2:00am: Right here is the secret beauty of unemployment. The midnight hour. While others decide to go to bed, I can continue to rap, get weird, whatever. Tonight, I decide that I am not quite finished with beers and I help myself to a delicious Molson from the fridge whilst I enjoy a few episodes of "Arrested Development". The following lines send me into a frenzy:

Lucille: Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.

Buster: [about Lucille] It's like she gets off on being witholding.
Michael: Whoa. Buster.
Gob: Look who's got something to say.
Buster: [impersonating Lucille] I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself. [everyone laughs]
Gob: Look who's ragging on the old lady.
Buster: Cause I'm an uptight [long bleep]
Buster: Buster [Long bleep]
Buster: ... you old horny slut!
Michael: [pause] Well, no one's going to top that.

Tobias Funke: [footage of Tobias trying on a speedo with his cut-offs on] Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?

Well, that's about it, just a quick rundown of last night's events. Not half bad I think. In other Toasted news this Saturday our rugby team is having a fundraiser at the Syracuse Suds Factory. It goes from 2-6pm and for $10 you get in, all the food and drink you want, we're going to have door prizes, raffles, live entertainment I guess, and what every fundraiser needs, 25 drunk rugby players with all of their friends. I've asked a few people if they had plans this Saturday, if you're up for it, let me know. That's it, I'm out for know. Keep it real!!

What could possibly make you think that late night Taco Bell is ever a good idea??

Ok, I know that I have done many a stupid things over the past few years and true, much of it has come as an obvious reaction to an excess of alcohol consumption, but I have no idea what possesed me to make such a hasty and rash decision last night. What was that life altering choice you ask?? Did you knock out a fellow motorist and flee the scene in his Ford Focus?? No. What'd ya do Toast; club some baby seals?? No dice. Actually, I'll tell you what's up. Yesterday. I voluntarily went to Taco Bell. Doh!!


Oh, hurts so good.

Now, when I say that I went to Taco Bell, I mean I REALLY went to Taco Bell. I mean, I gorged on that grade D taco meat and was NOT shy with the hot sauce packets. I'm not going to lie to you my Toastedblog readers, I decided to visit the local Bell in an altered condition (with a few beers) and I do feel that my reasoning may have been affected. But I really took the idea and ran with it though.

Wednesday Night, 12:47 am: I zoom up to the drive-thru with a cigarette in hand and the new Beck album blasting in my Jeep. At this point in time I am still really wondering what the hell I am doing here and am seriously contemplating driving off to just eat something at home. Part of me is fully aware of what the horrible outcome will be when I wake tomorrow and feel like someone has just played the worst prank on me imaginable and taken away my ability to properly digest food. This, almost two full weeks after April Fool's. The bastards!! But, I continue and now I'm up to order. So what do I do??? Well, seeing as how I haven't eaten since that english muffin for breakfast I naturally do the classic over-order. Either it was the glance out of the corner of my eye or it was the blazing lights that surrounded its perimeter but I was drawn to the Big Bell Value Menu.

Toast: Yeah, I'll go with the spicy chicken burrito, no wait make that two. Yeah, and the spicy chicken taco, I can do that. Ooh ooh, and the beef and bean burrito, I'm pretty sure I can handle that too. Make sure you throw in a bunch of those hot sauces.

Taco Bell Associate: Would you like anything to drink?

Toast: No thanks, I have beers at home.

That was my order, verbatim. I head home with my sack o' crap and immediately throw Arrested Development in the DVD player. Run to the fridge, crack open a beer, and tear into awful mexican food like drunk Willie Moe on Scooter's COP pizza. Here I was laughing hysterically at Buster explaing to GOB about hermano being Spanish for brother by saying "Hey Hermano" and mimicking a shoulder rub; all while dumping hot sauce over every portion of chicken burrito and shoveling it in my mouth. It is during nights like these that you notice some pretty awesome talents that you didn't know that you had no idea that you possessed. For instance, did you know that I can eat a taco in two bites. Yeah, neither did I. Amazing.

Needless to say that after that meal I only had enough energy to watch another episode and a half before I was out like a light. And not to disturb those readers with weaker stomachs but I was correct in my assumption in what the food would do to me the morning after. Dammit, I hate being right. Stupid tacos!! But damn did they taste good!!

In other current Toasted news, I am heading down to Montauk, Long Island for the Northeast Regional Rugby Playoffs this weekend. My team, the Syracuse Chargers, come in ranked No. 1 and have a first round bye. Not half bad. Should be a good weekend from what the others are saying. I'm just looking to have a few beers, a few laughs, a few what-have-you's. That and playin' some good rugby. This is going on while a bunch of the boys (Tommy, Javen, Dunford, Possible Willie Moe) are heading up to Montreal for a few days. I'm definately missing out on a good time. Smoked meats, 7 cent (Canadian) chicken wings, Aquarium sized pitchers of Canadian Beer (which we all know is like moonshine), strip clubs, Ste. Catherine's St, possible Jose Theodore sightings; how can I give all that up?

How can this season be so "Cold Blooded"??

Hey internet faithful, today it helps to say a certain portion of our Toastedblog title as one of the hilarious characters here, but I may not need to tell y'all that. I know Billy will understand, he's heard the voice many a times, especially after made three pointers that were vehemently opposed to by my lovable teammate. Cooold Blooded.

So Toast; why cold blooded? Well the answer to that is simple. Been on bit of a binge of late and starting to feel a little groggy. Cooold Blooded. Thanks to good pals and "drinking while watching sports" enthusiasts Javen and Danny coming into town, "Dr. Chaos" Phelps himself being on break from Med School, and my new-found, free from employment status has left me to explore the many different options available to the beer enthusiast. However, I have gotten a few job offers.

What's that you say Toast? You gonna go enjoy a few beers after rugby practice on Tuesday?? Sounds good. Clark's trivia on Wednesday?? Sho 'nuff!! How 'bout a few beers at the rink bar after playing hockey late Thursday night. You've earned it seeing as how you've been skating for the last few hours. Not to mention that you also had rugby today. Hell, I'll have more than a couple!! Throw that in with getting Phelpsed with Willie Moe and Oregon Tracy on Friday and an all night escapade while enjoying the Final Four. Still, we have opening night in baseball. Sox and C.O.P., double dang it!!


PortuGOAL, be on the lookout for this man for he may be at large in your area. Unfortunately, he isn't here.

Anywho, I'm starting to slow down a bit and looking forward to a much needed break here on Monday. Who'da thought that unemployment would be so hard. Still, the job hunt continues and the tedious task of interviewing will hopefully find an end soon. I can't keep this up. In related news, my desk belongings recently arrived at my door as well as another paycheck. Soon I will be rid of my former employer for good and I don't think I could be happier. Well, actually I could. Do you think that we could get Trot Nixon to hit two homeruns for me tonight?

Wreckin' Ball Comin'!!!

Wow, not being at work for a while has sure made for the time to pass by here awful quick Toastedblog fans. To think that you have had to deal with one entry a week probably has forced you to go elsewhere for fine internet entertainment. Might I suggest you check out this next time. Hilarious!!! I'm giggling just thinking about it.

So why the Wreckin' Ball title?? Well, we here at Toastedblog have decided to thank our good friend Kristin (aka Wreckin' Ball) for allowing the Toast to borrow the new Queens of the Stone Age album by puttin' her name on the board!! A better reward, there probably could have been, but she's not in it for the glory. Just in it to further the advancement of awesome rockingness!! That and it gives me the opportunity to say stuff like "Wreckin' Ball Comin!!" and have pictures of Carl Spackler on Toastedblog.

Where was I?? Oh yeah, Queens of the Stone Age (from now on shall be referred to as QOTSA). Lullibies to Paralyze is fantastic!! At least I think so. And I know how much my friends value my opinion on music, movies, sports, politics, etc. so my presenting the awesomeness value of this album may not matter all that much. But damned if I didn't go to minor league catcher camp, and damned if I wasn't NutRocker, Heisman trophy hopeful; so you will have to at least acknowledge my opinion.


Ya know, if you ever wanna rap, or just get weird with someone, buddies for life..I think.

But this recently released QOTSA album is still pretty damn good. I have listened to it a few times since Shea let me borrow at the Change Of Pace last night. So far, I really like the song "I never came". As a matter of fact I am listening to it right now. A lot of critics of this album will say that this album may be missing a lot of uumph behind it due to the departure of bassist Nick Oliveri. Singer/guitarist Josh Homme does a bang up job picking up the slack and the album ends up being a bit moodier than past albums and is almost haunting all together. It's a lot of dark eerie harmonies and Homme's voice just blends in with 'em. You see a lot of this on the song "Someone's in the Wolf". But that's the thing, this is all really well done. At no point was I disappointed that I was listening to it. It gets the Toastedblog stamp of approval, so all you kiddies, feel free to pick it up. Get me a sandwich while you're out there, please. What?? What kind??!! I dont know....kinda in a reuben mood!! Yeah get me one of those!! And a root beer!! Delicious.

Well, rugby has officially started. We had been practicing inside Manley Field House and just doing a ton of running and only a few drills. The other day we had our first outdoor practice and not gonna mie to you, it was a little sloppy. We have a intersquad scrimmage on Saturday at noon with teams from both S.U. and LeMoyne to warm up for next weekend's tournament in Pennsylvania. I may have found myself some more playing time at the inside center position as apposed to wing. That means a little more hitting!! Is this a good thing?? I guess we'll find out. But in practices I have been running more there and I have to say I'm doing all right at it. Once again, I guess we'll find out.

Well, the job search has begun. The other day I posted a few resumes on monster.com and actually applied for a few jobs. But I am still upset at the way things ended at my job just last week. To be called at 11 pm and told not to come into work anymore. I still haven't gotten my stuff from my office. I was told that they didn't want me in my own office to get my personal belongings out of my desk. And to lose my job for something everyone else was doing, just seems a little shady is all. Billy tried to get me riled up and fiesty to stumble into my office all loaded and make a huge scene while requesting my stuff. To be honest, I wanted to stay out all night drinking and show up at my office at about 10 am with Willie Moe, Phelps, and Billy, all drunk and our stinking of diner food demanding that I be able to clean out my desk. Oh well, on to bigger and better things now I guess. And hopefully that reuben.

It's 1:32 AM and I'm still up drinking; why is that??

Well, it isn't because of St. Patrick's Day that I am still up drinking this evening. Actually around 10:00 pm I was quite tired and had already turned off my brand new computer. Yeah, that's right toasted blogs via a pajama clad Toast. Let's not forget the Creighton sweatshirt. There, that should make you all warm and fuzzy and make this news a little easier. I got fired this evening.....by a call to my cell phone at 11:00 pm. Dang it.

It's the An-Syr-Iri-Dri-Con '05

Woooo....It's almost St. Patrick's Day. You know what that means, us good ol' Irish get to celebrate our wonderful heritage. Uh...that and.....every...uh....everyone goes out and drinks delicious green beer. That's it!! Technically this past Saturday was the St. Patty's Day round here, or as I like to call it, the An-Syr-Iri-Dri-Con '05. (Annual Syracuse Irish Drinking Conference 2005) Not a bad time I tells ya. Not bad at all. That's what our current toastedblog entry is all abut internet faithful. Oh yeah, that and I can never again refer to Phelp's as Chumps.

As many as you know, our god pal, resident chef, and medical consultant Phelps has been given the nickname Chumps from your friendly neighborhood Toast by account of him being, at times, my arch-nemesis. Other than being an Eagles fan and having keener culinary instincts, Phelps has never done anything to warrant such a nickname; as a matter of fact Phelps has stated that he indeed really likes the Toast. To be honest, Phelps is pretty awesome........off the record of course. I just like the forced animosity; kind of like wrestling your brother. Do my friends have brothers? A recent interaction betwixt Phelpsy and myself has, in fact, changed my opinion of who the "actual" Chumps is in this friendship.

Think back if you will, to a time before time actually existed or, if you're having difficulty, we'll just use Saturday afternoon. Yeah, lets just go with Saturday. The annual parade mentioned above was occuring and the Toastmaster General was all riled up to stand outdoors with some good people and have a few too many brews. I headed over shortly after 12pm with my long time gal pal Chukes (or Michelle) to meet up with a few friends to enjoy the afternoon the only way us Irish know how. To quote the infamous T.T., It's my birthday...and I'm getting drunker!! At this point, my tentative battleplan for the afternoon was drive downtown with a backpack full of 'Stones, find everybody's favorite little crapper Charlie Coville and girlfriend Mary with whom we are supposed to meet up with and call Billy Shannon for there were talks of going to eat at Sud's Factory, complete with Rage Kage and wicked fun Jaime at 1:30. After a brief run in with Billy and the ladies while Toast was trying to locate a restroom facility, Part B of An-Syr-Iri-Dri-Con '05 was taken care of. That is, I now don't have to worry about calling Billy. The act of going to Sud's and eating terrific sandwiches which should have been No. 2 on the priority list never actually takes place. We blame that entirely on Priority No. 1. See birthday line above.

Ok, this is when we get to Phelpsy. After the parade ends; roughly 3pm, I am wandering around with a good twelve pack in me and I've missed Sudsy Billy and the company of some lovely ladies. That and food. I walk in to Mulrooney's, grab a beer, and mingle, running into some people I don't see too often anymore like college buddy and current accountant Timmy Hyle, and one surprising run-in with a kid named Mike Donnelly. (little help from the Donnelly campaign!) He was a Freshman when I was a Senior at LeMoyne and a fellow left winger on the hockey team. Toast, who during the off-season had been dubbed "Senior Sensation" by the LeMoyne media took well to the encourageable Freshman and faced off in many a hockey bus ride beer chug challenges during the one year that we played together in school. He was a good kid and recognzed me as soon as I walked by. We chatted, enjoyed a drink or two, and now I am getting off track.

While waiting in line for the bathroom, Billy, Kathie, Jaime, and Phelpsy stroll on by. I ramble on like I have a few drinks in me and ultimately do shots with Phelps. After a few more drinks somehow I end up at the Stoop, a martini bar. Why am I here?? Oh well, after a beer or two there is talk of beaking to the Irish relm of Syracuse, and the Toasted home base, Tipperary Hill. Great, now I can go get something to eat and relax for a moment before heading out and gearing up for the Big East Championship game a little bit later. The refrigerator was already prepared for my arrival seeing as how there was leftover sausage with peppers and onion that I promptly reheated and ate in a drunken stupor....with horseradish mustard I might add. Then...suddenly...it happened. The couch proved to be too powerful for me and within minutes a nap was in order. Dang It!! I missed the S.U. game!! Double Dang It!! There are 11 messages on my cell phone wondering where I am!! Phelps is calling me out! Tremendous Dang It!!!

Now, we're looking at 10pm and I have completely lost the past three hours. Calls from Rage Kage, Kyle, Chumps (no longer Chumps), Mags, amongst others have been unable to awaken me from my sandwich enduced slumber. Even worse news would soon follow upon noticing that when I fell asleep on the couch on Pseudo St. Patty's Day the other half of my sandwich had fallen on the floor, no telling how long its been there. #?%& !!

10:30 pm and I am now standing outside local Irish bar Coleman's to prove to Phelps that I am not the new Chumps and to salvage the rest of my St. Patrick's Day. No matter what I say, I cannot convince myself that the mass of man seated before me and not the Toast should have the surname Chumps. I don't think that after my little sleeping performance I should have the privilege of calling one of my friends an undeserved nickname, I did however rally like a trooper and stayed out until 3am. What makes the evening either greater was the fact that Phelpsy and myself are no longer the mortal enemies that we were. Now I can only call him Chumps when playing Golden Tee or while watching Shockey blow up the Eagles. SHOCK-EY!!!

In other toasted news, the playoffs have started in my hockey league. We lost our first game of the postseason 7-5 but we have a chance to even the series tomorrow night. My team, the Underdogs, have our work cut out for us but I think we'll be fine. Maybe I'll bring a flask on the bench, it will be St. Patrick's Day after all. Sorry its been so long since a decent toasted blog. Just you wait till after this weekend. What's up you ask?? Let's just say that B.L.'s may have some walking drunks on Friday and Saturday. What the hell, Sunday too.

What? No! We can't stop here. This is bat country.

Its 12:00 PM on Saturday and I'm on beer number 5!!
I guess there is nothing an Irishman won't do for a beer. Ah, the Human Dog Sled Race at Winterfest. Note the extra pale white legs the Toast features in the 12 degree temperature; perfect weather for rugby shorts. The green hockey helmet, part of regulations. They made us wear some sort of helmet and since I am a back and not a "forward" in rugby, I do not have the need for a scrum cap that my other teammates can be seen wearing. This image caused ridicule from the Toast's younger brother with accusations of mental retardation. In the immortal words of Daniel Banazek, he's so dead to me! We took first place by the way, winning money for charity. What charity, I don't recall. There was a lot of beer to be had that day.

Toastedblog presents: "The Toastie Story: Booze, Drugs, Guns, Lies, Blackmail, and Laughter"

*Disclaimer* This Blog is not based on 715 Lancaster, so there are no Shovelball references. That shall be discussed in future editions of Toastedblog*

**Contents edited via comments made by Daniel Banazek**

Good afternoon toastedblog faithful; how we all doing?? Well, we have a lot to get to today so you better pick up your sticks and get ready. Despite my best efforts of late to ruin my internet rep, I have actually decided on a topic to write about so this entry of toasted information will not be some rehashed and edited former toastedblogs nor will it be the nonsense encountered last week, which I like to refer to as definitely non-Scottish and we all know our rule here; if its not Scottish, ITS CRAP!! (whiny background voice: "But Toast, we thought you were Irish?") Dang it, no time to explain, who asked that question anyway?? Alright, I'm almost entirely Irish with a wee bit of Scot, but I'm all man!!! I was just trying to use a Saturday Night Live quote from back in the day. We better with the explanation now? Ok, on with the show.

Today, we are all going on a journey. We have a bit of time traveling to do so I hope y'all gassed up your DeLorians. Get ready to cue Jitter with the "where we're going, we don't need roads" line cause we're heading Back....to the Future!!! Dang it, that's where Michael J. Fox was trying to go. We're just going back to the year 2000; the reason, the origin of the Toast.

**key sidenote: Billy, I am eagerly awaiting copy of Chigago weekend tape. See Jitter's line**


1.21 Gigowatts!!!

The year was 2000/2001. The NY Football Giants are being led by a confirmed drunken racist and a man pushing his chips to the center of the table.....this team is going to the playoffs. Great movies like Big Momma's House and Chicken Run are tearing up the Box Office, Sisqo and the Baha Men were hittin' the streets with some brand new flava in your ear, and apparently Rob Thomas is the best songwriter known to man. Is this before the time he collaborated with Carlos Santana. I threw up in my mouth a little bit every time I heard that song "Smooth". Here we find the days of the band Everclear going from hard rock to cheese pop (ever listen to "AM Radio" or "Wonderful"....sigh), something was going on in Friends, and Conan's "In the Year 2000" skit reached new hilarity with the year actually being 2000. It was a time between Super Nintendo and Gamecube so Nintendo 64 was all the rage. Back then, Napster was free, Tool was about to release their first new album since 1996 and we were still a year away from a Star Wars Episode II disappointment. The days of Bent, Bye Bye Bye, return of Bon Jovi (Yeah Rage!!!) and Sting, even though he required some new age singer, and U2 was about to launch their most annoying album since Pop, which also happened to be their first release since Popmart tour. Dammit, Bono sure was everywhere following "All That You Can't Leave Behind" (coincidentally led to the downfall of my relationship with U2's music). Ah 2000......Sweet Cutlass, a girlfriend a full foot shorter than me (but I'm 5'11"), Banazek and his Bert pipe, Billy was a new phenomenon to me (I had no idea what a Rage Kage was at this point), Zany Brainy employment, living with little Crapper and Badass, across from Kyle, being 21 finally and a certain household that is responsible for my last four years. The place, 715 Lancaster Ave.

This was my senior year of college, well, 2000-2001. Good ol' LeMoyne. GO DOLPHINS!!! Anyway, the beer tasted sweeter, rent became a fun chore that had not yet been realized until then, I was living on mac and che and hamburger helper, learning how to pay bills, and finally spending the majority of my nights at the house down the street with large men clad in fleece sweatpants to combat their living room temperature. This was 715 Lancaster; complete with a frigid living room capable of keeping 30 packs of 'Stones refreshing, plates with nothing but ketchup (or catsup) and stranded french fries left on them, obvious remnants from Potter, the house's resident hippy, recliners in the reclined position and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band in the stereo. The house had to have about 7 bedrooms in it, let alone the hidden, closet sized bathroom underneath the stairway which featured low slanted ceilings perfect for drunken head resting. The people, why this house was loaded with the most outrageous of characters, some of whom you have heard of, the others, just stories and myths. There was Willie Moe, Javen, our hippy friend Potter, Uncle Jitter during vacations and off season (complete with dog bed), Danny (Pre/Post Relationship Banazek), and Laurie, otherwise known as Bertha. All of 715's inhabitants had graduated from college a year or two before I was set to finish up, either from LeMoyne or Syracuse and I had met all of them at one time or another. Some I worked with, some I met through current friends at the time, but I was destined to fit in amongs them and it was here that the legend of Toasty began.

**Note the spelling of Toasty, the Portuguese spelling with the -ie ending would become official Toastie nomenclature in 2002 following trip to visit Uncle Jitter overseas, where I also broke Harold Arceneaux's lamp while hammered. To request action shot of this historic event, please forward address to Toastedblog.blogspot.com**

Over the year, I found myself hanging out an awful lot with those lovable boys from the other end of Lancaster. At this point of time, I am known only as Casey, which despite what you may have heard Toastedblog fans, is my actual name. Nights were spent at 715 watching sports, drinking heavily, discussing classic TV shows like the Fall Guy, playing drinking games, popcorn ball toss, slugging bottles of Jim Beam, NHL 94, singing Return to Pooh Corner, dang it-ing, drinking more, yelling, and all around tomfoolery. The site of the original greatest weekend ever, home of that years NFL playoff viewing, and I am pretty sure the only place Rhen saw when he visited central NY with Tommy was that living room, it was a great place to just hang out and let three or four days just pass you by without even noticing. One evening, right around the time of March Madness, I was called to head over to watch some basketball and drink all of the Utica Club I could get my hands on. However, a bunch of my housemates decided to hang out on my end of Lancaster, at not quite as good ol' 946 Lancaster. Seeing as how at this point of my collegiate career I had a lady friend who would frequently stay overnight, I opted stay around the house, hang out, have couple beers and play everyone's least favorite drinking game but the easiest to get underway, Asshole. However, I did not let my lovable band of gents at 715 know of my plans, and as they got drunker, they got more irrate. Javen, got so mad, he went to question my whereabouts with a bellowing yell that sounded a bit like this: "WHERE"S TOASTY?!?!?!" The other housemates, looking bewildered, also wondered where this Toasty character was. This would remain unanswered until I entered 715 late that evening all hammered looking for some more drinking. But something was different this time when I walked in the front door. Instead, of being greeted with a hey, or what's up Casey; the name Toasty erupted from the general vicinity of the living room. I didn't know where this came from so I just went along with it. Little did I know it would change my life forever!!!

Since that faithful night, the name Toasty has gone through a ton of makeovers. From the perennial favorites like Toastmaster General and Mayor McToast, weird French versions like Le Toast, made up names like Toaster Toasterson, all the way to the present Toastie, which I think is the tops. Realistically, the nickname has given me an identity that Casey could only dream of. Imagine this site as Caseyblog. You kiddin' me?!?! I'd much rather be Toastie, the lovable Irish scamp, than just plain Casey Cregg. Who wants to read about that?? That's right, no one. Well, no one other than my Dad, he gave me this name. If it were up to my Mom, I would have been Squire Brandon Cregg and thus not be here today because I definitely wouldn't have made it out of High School. Thank God for Pops Cregg right?! So, there you have it, the origin of Toastie. Its not great, but it is all that I've got.

I wish it was the 60's, I wish I could be happy, I wish, I wish, I wish something would happen.

I'm daffy and British; but Toast loves it!!

I have five minutes left in my day here and thought that I would share recent Radiohead mix I created. This was actually put together five minutes earlier. Do I know how to kill time or what??

Pyramid Song
National Anthem
2+2=5
Fake Plastic Trees
Creep
Punchup at a Wedding
Lucky
No Ripcord
Optimistic
High and Dry
There There
Paranoid Android
No Surprises
Street Spirit
Go To Sleep
Stop Whispering
Climbing Up the Walls
I Might Be Wrong
The Gloaming

Awesome!!! Enjoy the weekend; I don't have to be back to work till Tuesday. WOOO!!

Its Toastedblog, an event greater than the World Cup....the World Series....and World War II combined!!

Its Valentine's Day, the greatest event known to man!!! Also, its a holiday made up for the sole purpose of having men spend money on their significant other through the purchase of chocolates, jewelry, and stuffed animals. How is this supposed to work again?? Oh well, we here at Toastedblog don't fear the Valentine's Day Reaper. The only holiday we're concerned with preparations for here at headquarters is St. Patricks Day. I sure hope my "I Got Lucky at McGinty's Pub" T-shirt still fits cause that could throw everything off. Quick sidenote to the don't fear the reaper comment just made. Think back if you will to a summer afternoon at the B II and the backyard barbecues that they used to have on Wednesdays. Remember that one drunk who came complete with shaky demeanor, indecipherable drunk talk, and the brilliant scent no man pouring his life away should never be without, urine!! We called him BOC for his crazy look and the ridicule he took whenever Blue Oyster Cult was ever mentioned. That one night when we tried to get him to come with us to Trappers for more beers but he kept saying that he wasn't allowed to go there, for some reason I can only guess had to be alcohol related. But Jitter would not be denied and we opted to disguise him as Jitter's uncle (Not Uncle Jitter) but he ended up getting out of the car on the way there.

Ok, I am getting off of the subject. Now to really get off the subject, whatever happened to the band Bush. I am currently listening to Chuck's Mix, 1993-94 edition, and it starts off with Everything Zen. Got me thinking, we all know that Gavin Rossdale is hitched with the love of Phelpsy's life, Gwen Stefani, but Bush was everywhere that year, even the year or two following 1994. With hits like Machinehead, Little Things, Comedown, and Glycerine, they just fell of the face of the earth the last few years, although I liked the song "The Chemicals Between Us" from the 1999 album The Science of Things. Its not like I am a huge Bush fan or anything, but its all too familiar with music from back in the day. In 1994, MTV still played some videos. VH1 had never even thought of having a top 20 countdown that featured rap, and reality tv was contained to the Real World, before MTV realized that it could also ruin that by getting the kids in the house all plastered and hooking up with one another. The show used to have some merit, now it is just some girl with big boobs starved for attention, a few gay guys, some other girl that won't break up with her boyfriend and thinks that every problem in her life is no way her fault, a redneck with a heart of gold, and some curly haired dude. Can you tell that I was hung over on Sunday. Dammit Billy's birthday. Damn you!!! To tie all this nonsense together, Gavin Rossdale recently did a song with the Blue Man Group called "Current", or something. You can only get hot information like this here at Toastedblog, remember to re-up your subscriptions for only $12.99.


That's some good clean family fun right there.

Speaking of Billy's birthday, it was a few days ago and on Saturday night, Rage Kage (Billy's lady friend Kathie, yeah I wonder where they get it too, tee hee) got a few of his lovable and handsome friends together for a few beers. It was quite the time, although I took the notion of having a few beers and really went with it, you know. I wasn't crazy or anything, but I certainly felt a little groggy on Sunday morning. Had to be the endless supply of draft beer and poor choice of half a sandwich for dinner. But, did I mention that the particular sandwich in question was a reuben. A leftover reuben, hence the half part, but oh so delicious!!! I don't think I have ever closed out Clarks before or knew that Bill's sister Kate had a love for Mr. Show. By the way, the name of the Patriotic Country Singer in the sending the monkey to blow up the moon was C.S. Lewis Jr. Don't mess with God's America!! Now only if I could remember some more of the song lyrics.

I have been plugging away at this blog for a little while now. Actually, it has only been about three minutes of typing, but it has been continuously maximized/minimized since 9am. Ah......the beauty of updating nonsense information for the benefit of my internet readers. In all seriousness though, taking a birds eye look at this blog is making me throw up a little in my mouth. It's that bad. There is no flow, no awesome quotable lines for the kids to use on the street. All we have is a clever title partially stolen from a movie, a cute picture, also stolen from a movie, a bunch of garbage in between, and a Toast, writing at his desk while listening to Radiohead and avoiding work. Well, if this isn't a good enough reason to get another computer I don't know what is. I was actually looking into doing so seeing as how I have been computerless for sometime now. I saw a commercial for a Gateway Notebook for like $699. Seemed like a good deal, although I know nothing about the Notebook being offered and its capabilities. Perhaps this sounds like a job for the tax return??? Toastedblogs written at home.....is it even possible????

Well, this officially marks the last time I write a Toastedblog entry with nothing to talk about. If Toastedblog continues down this path, folks are going to start to consider it bush league. Hahahahaaahahhahaha (maniacal laugh)......Danny. A well written entry complete with thought and purpose shall follow this up later in the week.

Welcome to Toastedblog, where it's always warm, comfortable.......and handsome!

Sometimes the world looks perfect
Nothin' to rearrange
Sometimes you just
Get a feelin' like you need some kind of change

Standin' tall
On the wings of my dream
Rise and fall
On the wings of my dream

Rain and thunder, the wind and haze
I'm bound for better days

It's my life
It's my dream
Nothin's gonna stop me now.

Now that we have our theme song out of the way we can get on with the show, or the big dance which I often call it. Today I would like to introduce all Toastedblog fans to a glipse of my courtship with my new ladyfriend. Here we go, a little ham and eggs comin' at ya....better get your griddles.

**actual events may not have occurred outside of Toastie's head**

Dear Eva Longoria,

My Name is Toastie, well, that's what a lot of my friends call me. My name is actually Casey. I'm a loveable Irish scamp who knows how to make ladies laugh with fun humor and sheer overall stupidity. Well....uh....not sure how to say this so I just will; I think you're pretty. In Maxim Magazine, I read that you love sports. What a coincidence; I also love sports!!! Did I mention that I was 5'11"?? Just wanted to say hello.

Sincerely,

Casey Cregg (Toastie)

As you can see that that I have begun said courtship through the written letter. I find that the written word is much more meaningful than lets say a phone call or what they call on the streets as a shout out or holla. I choose not to "holla at bitches". Rather, a classy letter or one that sounds as though you are about 11 years old and asking a girl to check the yes box on a note that asks do you like me. Lets see how this one plays out.

Dear Casey,

You sound adorable and you're right, I do LOVE sports!! I appreciate the complement on my looks, you're too sweet. But, I'm just like every other girl; I'm just looking for the right guy. Its hard out there at times to find that person and all I am looking for is a man who is 25 years old and irish who can grow a red beard, a former standout collegiate hockey player who also won the Heisman trophy under a pseudo-name, enjoys the precision passing of Phil Simms in Super Bowl XXI, loves sandwiches that are prepared for him, makes me laugh uncontrollably, has the ability to drink with his friends for three straight days and will let me be his sugar momma; because, lets face it, I make a lot of money. However, I'm afraid that I will never find this dream guy......unless........it's you?? Oh yeah, he has to be 5'11" too; I find that to be the most attractive height out there. Write back, you sound nice.

Love,

Eva

PS-How tall did you say you were??


I don't care if he doesn't watch my show, I loves me those goofy Irish men!!

Ooh....Jackpot!! Now, through a series of letters and timely phone calls my personality and charm begins to take its toll on Ms. Longoria. You all know how I do!! Within minutes of speaking and making a complete fool out of myself, I can turn on the panache and the distinctive elegance of a cavalry officer. I am not quite sure what that means but I like the sound of it. However, all that I know is that my ability to be a doofy moron has paid off. She has no chance and we are currently looking at apartments on the Boston Area granted everything goes well with grad school. Nothing is quite like being 5'11"!!

In other news, the Change O'Pacers are unfortunately not heading to the playoffs following last nights loss to the Syracuse Fireman. I think they brought in some ringers for the game. Had we fully "utilized the ring around the Toastie" game plan first presented be Uncle Jitter, the outcome may have been different, but I'm not suggesting that's why we lost. We couldn't hit a shot in the first half. At one point, about 2/3rds the way through the half, it was 9 to 7. The second half began with the score 29-7. We ended up losing by about 20 to a good team, something like 63 to 45. Good guys, a little rough with some of their fouls that were never called, but a good team nonetheless. The big news was Toastie upping the ante a bit and scoring 11 points, including knocking a three pointer down his first shot of the game, which drew the quote of "Coooolld Bloooded" as I ran back past Billy and Phelpsy on the bench. I was scoring inside and outside, and that never happens, probably never will again. A sad note to end our season though, had we won we would have made the playoffs at 5th place. We finished the season strong by improving quite a bit from our first game out there. Playing together as a team, passing, good team defense, and just plain hustle, thats how we played. We finished up having a beer together as a team at our bar, and sponsor, the good old Change Of Pace, and talking about funny and great moments over the course of the season, and there were plenty of them. I had a lot of fun playing with those guys, even though I don't have any legit basketball experience. However, we may not be fully done as we are currently looking at some options to join spring leagues. The only trouble there besides getting people to show up to a gym on a nice spring day is that I begin the rugby season in March and April, and I also have softball and a summer hockey league. Could be interesting but I'd like to see it happen. I was starting not to be that bad.

Well, its 12:52 and time to head to lunch, or as I should say, go to the gym for an hour and then eat a sandwich afterwards. Happy Ash Wednesday to all my fellow Irish Catholics; the regulars too. Take care and we'll catch ya on the flip flop.

Kookin' der yummee-yummers!

And so it begins, countdown to the Super Bowl toastedblog faithful. However, more importantly, the end of Phelps reign of culinary supreme amongst my friends. Chumps, you shall finally have your comeuppance!!! Now that I am all riled up my internet readers, its time to get into this anger ridden saga.

Phelps, or as I refer to him, Chumps is a cooking machine, a tasty food connoisseur, and my sworn nemesis. For the years that we have known him Chumps here will whip up some delicious concoction of bacon and cheese while we sit around drinking and watching something as mindless as Nascar Sunday (Cue the Pizza Box), or the Surreal Life and it will satisfy you to the core. Phelpsy here knows exactly what type of cheese will go perfectly with a specific type of meat to form one super sandwich (the McPhelps sounds terrific), is constantly trying to cook new and interesting things for others enjoyment, has highly detailed knowledge of the many different combinations of toppings that belong on a deep dish pizza, and has ruined every attempt that I have made in getting some toasted delicacies out there and enjoyed!!


First we have, der chocolate, und de moose. Yum yum yum with der chocolate. Fix de morkin, yoo betcha!

Ever since my parents split up when I was in Seventh grade I have spent much more time with my father than my mother, and he has taught me a few things. Often, he has talked to me about his lady conquests (weird), know when to say when, be helpful towards my friends because at times you will need their help, to always tip your bartender (in my case, especially Rachel), the fact that Jethro Tull rules, and the standard "give it your best". However, another important little tidbit that Pops Cregg has always thrown my way, the ability to cook and the importance of knowing how to do so. Over the years, Big John has shown me the light. Taught me how to make everything from pasta to how to get a steak good and medium rare. The delicious meals that he learned from Grandma Toast he passed onto me, even the ability to bake world famous cookies. I am very proud of the fact that I have developed a talent and real enjoyment for cooking, however, this knowledge is seldom put to use, other than cooking for myself and a lucky lady....dang!! So, I have since turned to my friends in this situation, and this is when Phelps comes in and steals my thunder. Dammit Chumps!!

The past few Super Bowls that I have spent with my friends have involved a fair deal of eating and drinking, as well they should. We all get together and have a grand ol' time, and the game is seldom important. The Super Bowl is like a holiday, and the day after should be a standard holiday as well cause that's a rough Monday. Anywho, us Chigago boys and gals will gather at a central locale, started at 751 Lancaster and has progressed all the way from Pats, Billy's old place, and finally the last few years at Teall and the current realm of Sir Shannon (that's right Bill, apparently you've been knighted, k-nig-hits!). I think, what a great time to showcase my hidden talent of making delicious feasts, I'll start prepping for chili. Then, are you ready for the....WOO..the hurricane, and Phelps comes swooping in with cheesy bacon biscuits, shrimp quesadillas, delicious raspberry torte thing with brie and no one is eating my tasty casey-dillas, cause we're too full on Phelpsy's spread. "But the chili is almost done, you have to let it simmer so it can truly mix togeth.....what?......Yeah, I can get you another beer Javen". Tremendous dang it!!!

Well not this year. There's going to be a few changes around here. Well that, and Chumps is out of town in Champlain, Illinois playing Doctor. Oohh, I'm Phelps, I'm in med school and on internships. Now's when I make my move. Phelps is still planning on joining us to watch his beloved Chump Eagles play in the Super Bowl, but he's going to be coming from Champlain and hence, there will be no time to produce delicious Phelps treats. Is our Super Bowl gathering lost?? How will we eat?? Order pizza, that'll take forever! Well, don't fret boys, the food that is overlooked via Chumps and his work is about to shine!!! I have taken the last few days and prepared a list of food that I need and shall start getting it done!!! An eclectic menu of delicious and cheese topped foods more exciting than a donkey chokin' on a waffle, definitely more exciting than Phelps baked products. After all of this rambling, I better not screw up. I can always just bring about 7 bags of nuggets and a chicken wing pizza.

**Key sidenote, Phelps really does make some great eats**

Thursday and Friday night I will finish preparing due to an immensely popular Toasted Saturday in which I have a rugby get together around 1pm and the SU v. Notre Dame game at 9pm. Our team is having a bowling tournament, to raise some money, see each other for a little bit, have some beers, have some more beers, and attempt to bowl, and then attempt to drive home. I have already asked a Toastedblog favorite Billy the potential favor of driving the Toast to the game. Hopefully I'll be able to control myself so he's not needed in that way and can focus on getting himself and Rage Kage around, but he said he would answer the call if needed. That's my Billy!!!

Finally, we have a quick update on the Toastedblog quest to regain musical edge. I made a mix cd at Chucks last week that was loaded with hits from the 80's and random light poppy music such as the Talking Heads, Liz Phair, Franz Ferdinand, Velvet Underground, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, David Bowie, and the Clash. That gets a Grade D- in edge, but Grade A in overall listen to ability. Following that mix, another was produced on Friday night with the help of Chuck's friend Goldie, Chuck himself, and alcohol. We got some rockin in there with the likes of Nine Inch Nails, Helmet, Chevelle, old school GNR, Rage, Audioslave, the Hives, Filter, and naturally some Pearl Jam, amongst others. We also have received a rather noble gift of a stack of Chuck's Mixes, Vol. 1 through....all of them I think. There literally is a stack of 50 mix cds that Chuck no longer has use for. I have brought a large portion to work and are currently sitting next to me. As we you are reading this, no wait, as I typed this listening to Shallow be thy Game by the Chili Peppers. Good times, good times. Also, Billy has made me a few "classy rap" mixes that I have listened to a little (I only got them last night). I only have a brief history with them but Bill, I think you hit the nail on the head. More information as it arrives.

I'm outie 5,000!!

Toastedblog. Mmm....Drink it in; It always goes down smooth.

BBBBBrrrrrrr.....Better put your booties on Toastedblog fans cause its c-c-c-cold outside. Which is why a lot of my time has been spent indoors of late in jammy jams and covered in warm blankies. You could say that would be pretty.....toastie. Aaaahhhhh!!!!! Good times, good times. Now, what would these days be like without the recent addition of Anchorman to my home lifestyle. I have basically watched this movie at least once a day since I have owned it, which it was purchased on Friday. There is a problem here, it is taking precious screening time away from another highly quoteable movie, a favorite amongst "the boys", Dodgeball. See, these are the problems that your high school teachers warned you about kiddies. Thank god college has prepared with techniques to tackle these real world issues. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I forgot what I was talking about at least half a paragraph ago.


Uh-oh...Whammy!

So what is today's theme. Is it Action? How about Drama?? I know, does our Toastedblog entry delve into the uninhibited sexual liaisons of Erotica. No, unfortunately we aren't going to discuss the finer points of "LogJammin".

Maude: "You can imagine where it goes from here."
Dude: "He fixes the cable??"

What we are going to hit up is a rather touchy topic with the Toastmaster General; the fact that he's lost his musical edge. Back in the day, you know, High School and College, I used to have an edge. I would listen to hard rock and that was pretty much it. True I had a love for classic rock that my Pa Toast ingrained in me during my youth while driving all across NY for hockey. I can still remember those 6am drives to Elmira listening to Jethro Tull at the age of 9 and this is coming from a man closely related to rock god Huey Lewis (go ahead, click on the bio). But, now I'm getting off topic. A few years ago there would have been no way that I would have Guster on my profile as one of my favorite bands, not that there is anything wrong with them, I obviously enjoy their stuff now. Basically, I would not enjoy wuss rock so much. There was a day that I had edge. I spent my time listening to bands like Soundgarden, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam, Nine Inch Nails, Metallica, Chili Peppers, and Old Stone Temple Pilots (Not really Tiny Music although I would grow to appreciate later), to name a few. One summer, I think it was 1998, I saw Our Lady Peace six times, all in Central NY of course. Sure, back then they still had somewhat of an edge, before Gravity came out; which naturally I loved. If the Casey from then could only see the Toast now. Huh???? I have a cd player at my desk at work, and its loaded with the non-edgy. Nothing but Ryan Adams, Wilco, Keane, Live, Travis, and Ben Folds. Don't get me wrong, its all great music, otherwise I wouldn't be listening to it. But I need to start getting back my edge, at least musically. Thems were good times. And I still listen to some music that has some gumption to it, just not like a few years ago. A lot of this may have to do with the lack of good rock coming out these days, or decent rock radio stations in the area. I am convinced that Syracuse has the worst radio market in the entire country. Whatever the cause, something must be done.

Everyone's favorite Pisano, Charlie Coville, and myself joke about the fact that I don't listen to the same type of music all of the time as I used to and its time to do something about it. I have asked good friend, classicoverblog contributor, and just in general, loveable asshole, Bill Shannon to help me in this quest. But this is where it takes an odd turn. I am having him get me into rap music. Yeah, you read that correctly. Bill is a fan of what I like to call, decent rap, or rap I could listen to and enjoy. It is more musically complete than just listening to commercialized garbage like 50 cent, Eminem, and the recent award winners of we sold out to sell albums, the Black Eyed Peas. I want something that has substance. See the Roots, for an example. On Monday at the Change of Pace whilst enjoying a pitcher, delicious wingies, and an SU basketball comeback at the RAC, Bill and I got discussing music and I asked for his assistance. I will have Chuck help me with getting the rockin' back.

**Disclaimer: Conversation may have been doctored due to immense rambling at bar, this is just the jest of the chat**

Toast: "Bill, I hate music today, I need to find something new, that is actually worth listening to. Don't get me wrong, I have bands that I enjoy that have come out recently, but other than that and the musical staples that I live by, there is nothing else. "

Bill: "I know what you mean Toast. Its hard to find new music out there that's worth a damn. Even if you are super intelligent, can lift a Volkswagen clear over your head, are irresistible to woman, and smell of rich mahogany."

**femininas walk in and start giving us the big eye**

Toast: "Yes Bill, you are correct, I am all of those things, but that doesn't mean that I don't long for something different and astounding to listen to while I think of ways to help the less fortunate and work on my formula to prevent global warming."

Bill: "I got it!! I'll get you into rap!!"

Toast: " That's it, you get to working on some mix cd's, I'm going to see if I can get a hey from these femininas!!"

So, after all of that Billy is going to start introducing me to some classy rap and I will have something new to listen to. I still have my love with Rock though, I am not going to drop that. Like I mentioned, I will have Chuck get on his bike and help me get some new flavor there. Billy said he would as well. The whole idea is, not that I am bored with the music, I am just looking for a little variety where there previously was none. Well, that's it. My dilemma. However, something is being done about it. If any suggestions, feel free to drop a line. I'm out like kraut!!

By the way, I still love Pearl Jam. And Tool!!! See, I still have some edge!!!

Always give it your best; that's my motto! Well, that and everybody Wang Chung tonight

What a week Toastedblog faithful!! Let me tell you, when you go the last few years having a car at your every disposal you can get quite accustomed to it. It has been since Tuesday morning since I last drove a gas powered vehicle and I am pretty sure that if I ever get my Jeep back I will not have a single clue on how to use it. Since I brought it in to get my alignment adjusted I have gone from having the assumption that I will be without an automobile for a few hours to what is now three days. I went from spending around $100 for a simple alignment to a grand total of $1265 for a slightly used front wheel axle housing (For new parts, it was $3,000). Paying to get my car fixed, that doesn't bother me. These things happen. Its the being told by our mechanic here that it will be ready Thursday morning, getting a call around noon saying that it will definitely will be ready by four, once again receiving a call that it should be ready by Friday morning, and finally, we'll be done by the time you are out of work today, aka 5:00 pm. Whatever, its not worth getting frustrated over. It's just hard not to given my history of automobiles, most recently the toasted convertible mishap.

So it is currently 4:22 and I am not even close to getting this Toastedblog entry done. I started earlier in my day here at the office and surprisingly enough I found myself busy at work. Who knew?? I sure didn't and to make up for my lack of time management I am trying to ramble here about nothing to give this entry some adaquate length, but you and I both know that this is not going to happen. I can't even get into discussing this weekends plans for there is no time. What can I tell you about you wonderful toastedblog fans. Well, I had a delicious roast beef sandwich for lunch. Damn it!! That's the best I can come up with on short notice, a sandwich?? No clever joke?! No witty remark?! No mind boggling historical fact?! No riddle wrapped in an enigma?! No Shakespearean Sonnet?! That's it, I've got nothing. Have a good weekend, we'll chat later.

Daily Calvinisms

Dang it!! I'd hate to be that guy!!

I recently signed up on some comics a day website and we have our first entry. Not half bad Bill Watterson. I wish Calvin and Hobbes would come back. It'd be nice.....and hilarious!! More to come.

It's 4th and 15 and you're looking at a full court press!

Sigh....Eli???
Peyton does not know that playoff time is definitely BYOB, "Bring Your Own Boo-Yeah"!! But will Eli??

I just dang it-ed; tremendously!!!

Eight days and no Toastedblog!!??!? Y'all must be going nuts and judging from the amount of comments I get on these posts, you have........haven't??? Wait a minute??! Do you have any idea the amount of blood, sweat, tears, aneurysms, and nutter butters go into to each and every one of my fine Toastedblog musings?? And I can't get a fricken word out of you people?!! Oh well, I know I like 'em and so does the majority of my vast internet audience.

I just got a phone call from the place I took to get my alignment on my Jeep looked at after I kinda slipped on the ice and bumped into the curb and snowbank at about 20 mph. Well, apparently I broke my passenger side axle housing and from what I hear that is not good news so for the next few days I have a short Italian chauffeuring me around to and fro work in a Chevy Cavalier till Thursday afternoon. Fortunately for me it is going to cost about $1500. and anytime you get to spend that kind of money it has to equal good times. I will proceed to get hammered as soon as I get home. Good thing I have some Jack Daniels at home, I can do all this and be asleep by 9:00 pm if need be. This idea can't miss. GREAT, GRAND, WONDERFUL!!!

I was about to start a whole blog about my views on last weeks playoffs games and how all that I did all weekend was eat large quantities of meat and cheese and polish off quite a bit of beer but currently I do not feel like being creative or hilarious. Perhaps later in the week. I'll let you know how the Cavalier rides.

You know those Germans; if you don't join the party, they come get you!

Guten Tag der Toastedbloggen freundin. Ich habe gut Deutsch gelernt weil Ich Deutsch klasse im....dammit, I can't keep it up. Its been a while since I took German. Translation of above statement, Good day Toastedblog friends. I was about to say that I took it in high school and college but its fairly obvious that I can't recall all of that information right now. Had I not been at work the outcome may have been different. This place always seems to bring out the worst in me, mentally anyways. So, what's the deal with the German intro and title? Well, tribute to Badass, alter ego Matt Gang, and that's when the German comes in!! Its not really a tribute for him, but really a recap of a few days that happened to feature a going away gathering on Friday night for BA as he heads back to Ireland today. What the hell am I rambling about?? Stupid Mondays!!

In any event, we start by discussing the only real thing that had been going on with the Toast the last few days. On Friday I went with everyone's favorite little crapper Charlie Coville to meet up with a plethora of good people at Coleman's. The reason, well for Badass and Moe of course!! Looking back on the evening nothing too crazy really happened. Just having some drinks, sharing stories, going on and on for hours about absolutely nothing, drinking a lot of whiskey, yelling uncontrollably, not being able to drive home, passing out on your friend Kyle's couch. Really, your standard Friday night. OK, I don't usually hurt myself that bad but, it's a celebration bitches!! I like to refer to it as a night that got a little out of my control, fortunately I decided to be responsible enough to not drive, that and it was 5:30 am and I still was drinking. That might have had something to do with my decision making. Still, it was great to really hang out and get blitzed with Badass. I didn't really want to see him go back but what are you going to do. He assured me that he would return in 10 months so I got that going for me, which is nice. For you Toastedblog fans that haven't met him, you should really look into it. Good times, good times. We discussed briefly about myself taking a trip out to Ireland for a visit to the land of Toastie heritage and to hang out with BA. More on this as information arrives.

Nothing starts your day off like stumbling off your friends couch with your breath reeking of Bushmill (I ain't drinkin' your Protty whiskey!!!), enduring the arctic conditions of the outdoors, and receiving a telephone call as you clean the snow off of your car which has been parked at the bar overnight. I think it is a given that if your day begins like that it isn't going to be "spectacular". Key sidenote, exclamation above in parenthesis only works when you use an Irish accent. I drive home and take a good long nap to prepare for a Saturday night loaded with football. That phone call I got while cleaning of my Jeep, none other than Army Matt and he is having a get together at his place for the playoffs so I drove over at about 5:30 looking for a comfy chair and delicious pulled pork for I am still not quite over my Friday. However, after my first beer things are looking up for the Toast and we're feeling all sorts of fine (Lookin' fine too....dang!). He and his girlfriend Shannon have some good people showing up to watch some football including a few boys from the rugby team so the games are littered with good conversation as jokes are told and rugby weekends and practices are re-lived through story after embarrassing and hilarious story. The following may not be funny to y'all but Army Matt, myself, and fellow rugby teammate and Buffalo native "McCracken" were rolling as it was brought up. We travel back in time a few months to October 31st, the day of our division championship game against Rochester. They had this scrumhalf (guy kicking the ball with grey scrumcap on) who with his huge nose was delegated the nickname "Rooster". By the way, look in the background on right side of that picture, who's wearing short shorts, high socks, and standing next to Army Matt? Well, we would heckle the hell out of "Rooster" every time he touched the ball, partially for reasons that he was a punk, the others had to do with him kicking the ball anytime anyone got close to tackling him and us drinking. Army Matt would try to district his kick offs and penalty kicks with an on target Steve Perry impression singing "Oh Sherry". You should here him hit the highs. Various comments were made about his sister, rooster crows, and lets not forget the trademark yelling of Noonan before every kick (Noonan, Mmmiss it, Noonan). Kinda had to be there but nevertheless, good times. Well, we wrap up Saturday with a stop at the Blarney on the way home and not resisting a 2 am viewing of "Boyz in the Hood" as I turned on the TV when I got home. Ah, the finer acting days of Cuba Gooding Jr., before he got crazy annoying and his agent hooked him up with scripts to "Snow Dogs" and "Boat Trip".

So, that's about it. Sunday was all football and jammies. And last week, well last week was just crazy. Rugby practices have started up again, basketball games Change O' Pacers style, a hockey game on Thursday night that featured our team only showing up with 7 guys, including the goalie, so the Toast was on the ice for the entire game, aside for a two minute penalty and about 2 minutes of rest time with our lone sub. My legs still are sore. We lost 8-3 to a bunch of chumps who out manned us 3 to 1. Had we been with our full roster, they would have been no problem. At one point the puck had deflected off a body in the neutral zone and I flew on it, only to have one of the referees skate directly in my path. So I did the only thing I could do in the situation, I lowered my shoulder and sent him flying. He bounced on the ice and took out one of the opposing teams defensemen to boot. This action instigated a lengthy argument between me and said referee for the remainder of my shift out there. As play continued he threatened me with tossing me out of the game for actions like that. I responded by saying that he should be out reffing girls youth hockey and he was lucky he still wasn't down on the ice. He told me to watch my mouth and next time anything happened I was gone. As I skated away I yelled next time I'm going in with my elbows high. The whole exchange reminded me of the way I played in High School and College. I wasn't a goon or anything, but I could hit and play mean; which is surprising when you look at my demeanor off the ice. I am very likeable. But when I play sports, I turn it up a notch. In fact, I lead my high school league in penalty minutes two years in a row. How's that for the Toast my fans know as "I'm getting upset." Makes you wonder huh.

Ok, I have gone on enough about random things and it is 11:11 am here at work. I really need to get some work done. Speaking of work, have I mentioned that I am beginning to get frustrated and unhappy at my current place of employment. Grad School news in the future?? I certainly hope so for I can't keep this up here. Its killing me!!! All right, Toast out for now!! Take care.

I call it Friday Night Sissy Fights!

Happy New Year Toastedblog faithful!! So, you may be asking; Toast, how was your New Year's?? Well, the title serves as a lead in to last Friday's events. OK, let me explain. The Toast has not turned the gay (not that there is anything wrong with it) so don't get started thinking about that. He still likes the ladies!! And I didn't get in a fight with a gay man, or a woman for that matter. The title is full of symbolism for my evening, a metaphor if you will. It is supposed to describe my impending battle to control myself with an endless supply of liquor at arm's reach. I'm just kidding. But seriously, that really happened. All right, time for the show. Enjoy the show....enjoy the show.

So, New Year's Eve involved performing a tremendous feat of strength, but would the Toast be up for it. I went to Coleman's where they had a special for New Year's customers; purchase a bracelet for $45, get all you can drink beer, mixed drinks, all the good stuff; plus some apps. Since I decided to take them up on this offer, it was my goal to get my money's worth of booze while remaining semi coherent and generally likeable to be around. How could I control myself with all of this temptation at my finger tips? Why, I know, lets order white russians, Jack and cokes, and Long Island iced teas all night. Better yet, every time you order one for yourself, you better get a beer to go along with it. It only seems right and in a sense, you are cutting down on wait time for your next round, because you already have it. Believe it or not this plan did not go as originally intended. Did I get my money's worth of booze?? You better believe it. As a matter of fact, everyone I ran into at least got one free drink from me, if not more. Did I remain semi coherent?? I prefer not to answer that one right now. Was I generally likeable to be around? Hell yes!! Everyone loves the drunk Toast. Especially when it is the drunk Toast who dances with random people for no reason whatsoever, yells real loud, shows even more Reverse Dang It goofiness than can be imagined, and is visibly struggling to put sentences together. It had been a long time since I had been out and primarily drank liquor. I was absolutely hammered so my valiant effort to not to get uber-bombed failed miserably. I shouldn't say that because the ultimate outcome was pretty good, and I did get to spend the following day lying around in jammy jams watching movies and eating spaghetti-O's. Always the ones with hotdogs, always!! That is unless they are knights and castles shaped, then meatballs are acceptable. I certainly hope Franco-American relations never break down for the chance of having Spaghetti-O's discontinued strikes fear in the very heart of me. What am I talking about?? Dang It!!

The weekend was not crazy at all, not too much happened. Aside from New Years, a Saturday filled with movies, video games, college football and a hungover Toast. On Sunday I slept in mucho time-o and found myself being woken up to the wonderful sounds of Careless Whisper, or in other words, my cell phone was ringing. Good friend, fellow poor free throw shooter, rugby buddy, and Steeler fan Army Matt gave me a call to stop on by for some beers and football watching. At this point I had just woke up, it is currently 12:42 pm. I never sleep that late. Anywho, I head over to Matt's with a 12 pack of Blue where he throws out a delightful Phelps-esque spread of food for his guests. We're talkin' pulled pork that he smoked himself, spinach and artichoke dip, and homemade chicken wings (buffalo and some garlic italian dressing Concoction). All of which proved to be pretty tasty. What proved to be no dice was the Toast supported Bills losing to a Second string led Steeler squad. After a few hours of eating and drinking I decide to head home for I am en route to meet up with some work people at the Blarney Stone for some time out due to a no work Monday for the Toast. This proves to be rather interesting for only one person showed up besides myself, that being Rachael, one of the ladies who is around my age in my office. (my office is predominately female, half around my age, other half got Toast beat) I have yet to find out if this was just some womanly work to get us "hooked up" or if the others just couldn't make it as they say. Not that I know why they would do that, I just have had this suspicion that something was up. Besides, there is nothing there so why am I rambling on about this. Anyway, I sit and have a few drinks, B-Rad (is he still dating Wreckin' Ball) shows up about a half hour after I do and joins me while we watch the mighty Eli Manning take on the Ageless Vinny Testaverde. Eli looked good. He looked Toast good, and we all know that's some good ass shit!! True, the Giants lost 8 out of their last 9 but Eli is at least making strides in showing some improvement and learning the NFL game. Because of this I am getting more and more amped for next season because I think he is going to be a heck of a quarterback. B-Rad would say otherwise, but what does he know about Eli. He's wrong I tell you. However we can put that on hold for now for this is playoff time. You know what that means. More on this to come in the following paragraph.

Playoffs??!! That's right baby, and do you know what I propose??? Get your asses to the humble abode of the Toast!! Or, we may just have to go to Billy's. Basically, we all need to find a place to camp out for the majority of the day, while drinking and eating. I feel that some of the Toast's tremendously tasty chili (call it Triple T if you want) may have to make an appearance. Is Phelps back; cheesy bacon biscuits? Casey-dillas?? Willie Moe has informed me that he currently owns a quesadilla maker. We only have a half a week to get moving on this. They may not live up to the original greatest weekend ever, but we can do some damage I think. Four words, return of the kegorator!! Think about it.

What else up Toastedblog audience??? I'm not too sure. Been kinda laid back of late. As some of you may know Christmas has made it difficult for the Toast to spend money so maybe that has something to do with little activity. Tonight I get to go to Manley Field House for another one of those lovable off season rugby workouts. A lot of crazy running, no thank you. Meeting team Bo-Hall for a few beers, a roast beef sandwich, and some awesome trivia, Yes Please!! Don't worry my fellow teammates, this is the only week in which rugby falls on a Wednesday for next week and there after my Toasted Mondays will be spent running. So I apologize for any inconvenience Team Bo Hall.

Guess what, I have a hockey game tomorrow too. Been looking forward to this for over a week for there were no games last week. BLAST!! We lost our last game 5-3 and from what I've seen we aren't too bad, but there is the occasional kid who won't pass the puck, constantly shoot even though his shot is awful, and stays out for 5 minute shifts while the rest of us are out there 45 seconds; but what are you going to do. Hopefully the Underdogs can do something tomorrow night because I am getting a little bit upset!!! I know Billy will like that.