Thursday, April 01, 2010

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I had a few white russians this evening in a vain attempt to be far more dude. In other news, I couldn't find a way in the thirty seconds that I searched to post a "legal" flipadelphia video on this site as I can't seem to get that chant out of my head. Just google video search it and you'll see where I'm comin' from. That is all.

For no other reason...

..than I like to remember what Muse was before they got all stupid of late, here's a little "Shrinking Universe". Plus, it has to do with edgy zombie flicks and Lord knows I do love me a good zombie flick with some edge to it (first one is waaaay better). Little Crapper has recently gone on record informing all that some of their new stuff is being used in recent Television Advertisments claiming that they be on a slippery slope heading straight for Sucktown. And me...well I'm not so much a fan of their most recent effort. But who am I to judge. I mean...this is coming from a guy who has specific pants that are reserved for dog park use alone.

On that note, more shit to come but about to head out and take the dog hiking. It's darn near fist pumpin' weather today.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


I know what you're going to say but I have good reason for a spell of not being around. If anyone stops by this piece that is. Anywho...the past few months have been devoted to my attempt to delve into the world of continuing my education. I took some time to complete my applications for Grad School and to study for the GRE which I took twice. You see, when you have a shitty GPA due to a undergraduate tenure spent boozing like a champ you tend to want to ace the GRE as sort of a way to compensate for said shitty GPA. You see where I'm going with this, or did you get lost in the abbreviations. Go ahead and catch up....I'll wait.

To make a long story short after freezing for a spot during my initial GRE run, I took the test a second time and my score was off.....the hook. So, why the "Sigh" title here in this return to Toastedblog?? Well, I have still yet to hear from my schools and I am growing quite weary of this fact. Every day when Tessie Dog barks like crazy at the mail man I run, I check, and I am disappointed.

Part of me worries that I won't be able to dodge my conduct from my early years but then I just rationalize to myself that I did well on the GRE, I have a kickass personal statement, and a resume of ten years of professional experience that demonstrates that I am ready, willing, and able to take on such a momentous task such as Graduate School. Meanwhile, the other part of me stresses about when I do get in these schools, where will I head??

I don't know. I guess what I am trying to say is that I want the suspense to be over and I just want to be able to begin planning on where the family and myself will be heading in just a few short months. Plus...I have to figure out how I am going to pay for this mess of voluntary education. Does anyone have about $60 Grand just lying around?? No?? That's what I thought.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Speechless again at a loss for words

I get to see Umphrey's tonight in Baltimore. Giddy Up!!!

Set list to follow bitches!!!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Help Yourself to Cold Cuts, Cause We Are Family!

RAQ, a favorite of mine, is returning from short 20 month hiatus and, not gonna lie to you, this little buck-a-roo couldn't be happier. You want to know what else makes this fact pretty much gravy?? A certain Toastmaster General is going to meet a few choice cohorts for a weekend in NYC to see 'em when they retur . This won't be the last time that this phrase is uttered but "Fuck and Yes"!! Who's gonna get all sorts of RAQ'ed?!?! This guy!!

So now, for your viewing and listening pleasure, a little "Brother From Another Mother". Enjoy.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Take a look at Yourself.

The Washington DC area is full of some of the most self centered people I have ever encountered. Since moving here I have witnessed some of the most asinine behavior that one can witness. Every day it is people just looking to get ahead of each other no matter the cost. To coin a phrase from a good friend to this here blog: "You think you're better than ME?!?!" (points to self with own thumb)

Currently here in the District we are experiencing something known as "Snowmageddon". Bad title. (their words, not mine) In any event we have been hit with snow that is not well known around here, something like 22 inches in the past day. BOOM right?!?! Well, you can imagine that the roads are kinda not clear and for obvious reasons attempts at navigating them should pretty much be avoided, don't you think?? If you want a better reason to not go out on the roads, there has been a warning issued that you should stay off the fucking things. Nevertheless, people are out there trying to get to the gym, pick up some frozen pizzas, drive to the mall or whatever it may be that they so choose to risk their lives, and the lives of others for. But who am I to judge right, I mean these road warriors (good title) may be driving to church to pray for loved ones or in desperate need of medical attention so in an attempt to keep one of my two New Year's resolutions going I am looking to understand my fellow driver and not get so bitter and take direct offense to their every action.

So, where am I going with this. If reading comprehension has taught you anything you always pay attention to what happens in the introductory paragraph, that is where intentions for writing are often made clear. So, I am out and about at 6:15 am as I have a certain Tessie Girl that has awoken me from my slumber in some sort of wicked need for bathroom goings. I oblige by putting on the ol' winter coat, hiking boots, snow cap, and gloves and take the worthy mutt out to TCB, takin' care of business. As we make the rounds Tessie Dog is playing in the two feet plus of snow and I am carefully observing all around as it is still somewhat dark as the sun has yet to rise. Also, the dog is off her leash seeing as how it is wicked early and we've just been hit hard. Besides, Tessie Dog, she be a good dog and respectfully pays attention to her pack leader (We watch the Dog Whisperer from time to time). While trudging through the poorly cleared and snow filled roads of our neighborhood we come across a tiny foreign SUV, a Honda CRV or something that clearly does not have four wheel drive, that is struggling with in an intersection and has found itself stuck.

Without giving it a second thought and instructing Tessie to stay back I went in to lend a hand. So, while this car began trying to work itself out of a jam I, the courteous good Samaritan, went and pushed the car with all this 5'11" 200 lb frame could muster. After a hot minute of work, I was done, he was free, and that, pretty much, was the last that we saw of him. The guy just drove off. Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Not a thanks, or even a wave. He just sort of kept on driving down the road as his car broke through its snowy barrier, with my help might I add. At 6:30 in the morning on a Sunday, 14 degrees out in two fucking feet of snow, walking my cute and lovable dog no less I stop to help this guy and he just drives off. This occurred no more than an hour ago and I am still in awe and shock at the audacity of this, well this asshole I guess. I really don't know what else to say and am curious to get Kool-Aid's input when she gets out of that warm, cozy bed that I can't seem to crawl back in to.

This behaviour doesn't stop there either. Note the British spelling of behavior back there, nice touch huh?? In any event, no more than I week ago I was at the dog park with Tessie Dog around, I don't know 5:30 in the afternoon or so. The dog park that we go to is about 2 miles away and is this long, about 1/3 mile, somewhat narrow fenced in area along a stream, or crick as I knew them growing up. A pleasant path surrounded by trees, small hills, doggie dug holes, rocks, and for all purposes completely covered in wood chips. While on our way out I happened to notice that there was a cell phone sitting on the ground. I asked the surrounded people if it had belonged to any one of them; all met me with the same answer, no.

So, I turned to Tessie and told her that we were to head back through the park real quick-like to ask everyone we came across if they had lost their cell phone. A lesser man might have just left it there but I like to think that the same would be done for me. So we walked, asking everyone along the way. Some asked me what the phone looked like. Really??? What did that matter?? Check your pockets, your phone is either there, or it wasn't. For the record, it was a Blackberry Storm, or Monsoon, or 30% Chance of Showers, or whatever those things are called. As we neared the far end of the park I saw that a gentleman, in his late 40's I'd say was walking out and heading towards his Mercedes. Even though I told her to wait Tessie girl ran and followed me out of the park as I jogged towards this fella. This is where I asked him a similar question to those I asked so many others just a few minutes earlier. While seated in his luxury automobile he conducted a half hearted search of himself and then cried: "Oh yeah, must have fallen out." He then proceeded to start his car, muttered "Thanks" while checking his phone and began to back up and drive away.

Now, I don't need to be fawned over when receiving a thanks for a job well done nor do I need some sort of pat on the back or a cash reward, but really buddy??? That was it?? It was clear that I had run around the park looking for this phone's owner and that I had ran over to him while my dog had followed me out of the said park without a leash might I add and you are so self involved that while checking to see what calls you missed you give me a this shotty thank you attempt. I feel naked should I leave my cell phone at home, I just don't feel right at all and you had it worse. You lost yours, granted you didn't notice it. Regardless, I took the time out of whatever I had going to bring this phone back to its rightful owner and some half assed thanks was what I was met with?? Not in my house Jackson. I need to start punching people more.

This is why I cannot wait to get out of this self absorbed town. Everyone has their own agenda. All think their shit don't stink and have this utter sense of me first. I must get ahead, that is all that their brains appear to be running on. That being said, I don't want this passage to seem as though I walk around going "Oh woh is me" all the time, that DC is ALL ASSHOLES, or that I think that I'm the tops cause I give a little extra effort for my fellow man. I just think that some of the behavior that I have run into down here is ridiculous, unacceptable, and uncalled for. To think that these people probably have all that they want I am struggling to make ends meet just makes me sick. I like to think that they don't have a kick-ass Kool-Aid, or a world class Tessie Dog, or an awesome mane of hair that flows like the rivers of the mighty Danube. They probably have a Plasma TV though....dammit!!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Come Getcha Some!

The Toast and Tessie Girl hiking in Shenandoah National Park. It's not much but damn are we cute. Figuratively speaking of course.