So this is Christmas?

Merry Christmas folks. Not gonna lie to you but its not the best holiday this Toast has had seeing as how I am still airing my grievances from Festivus but it is still a time for family and to be with the ones you love so I got that goin' for me....which is nice. Uber smooth with the ladies kid brother Cory is in town for the holiday so there's a little bonus hop in my step and there's always some grand eating to be had at the Godmother's. Aunt Julie, you never seem to let my tummy down. Word on the street is that there's gonna be plenty of peanut butter fudge. Now that's what I call the Jackpot!!! I just wanted to take a quick minute and wish another Merry Christmas to all of those who I know and love. You know who you are. But on the slight chance that you may be concerned with the amount of Toast love this Irish scamp has in store for you, puhlease, you are encouraged to ask. I can give hugs like no other. And open handed slaps to the mouth. Enough of this, I gots me some turkey to get my hands on. Merry Christmas and Happy Belated Festivus to all. You mean more that you know.

More Casey adventures to come.....

If you want to have some good Toastedblogs you've gotta grab 'em by the haunches and hump them into submission. It's the only way.

Ah Dodgeball, you're always good for a laugh. The sequence with Patches O' Houlihan teaching Average Joe's how to play by whipping wrenches at them sends me into hysterics everytime. recently I have been a bit out of it. Not gonna lie to you my Toastedblog friends but the the Toast was laid out on the couch for the majority of last week with some "flu-like" symptoms. Not good times, definitely bad times. My near death was in direct response to burning the ol' midnight candle for about a week and a half too long leaving me a shell of my normal awesome self. However, I did catch up on my daytime television and orange juice consumption. In case y'all are wondering though, the Toast is doin' mighty fine and looking forward to Turkey Day and having Aunt Julie load me up with some take home leftovers. YAHTZEE!!

So, what do we write about here for our Toastedblog faithful. A story of intrigue and espionage perhaps?? Erotica?? Tales of historic blunders featuring everyone's favorite Uncle Jitter?? Actually, I went to the NY Giants game on Sunday against the Eagles and really should have called JT for that game. I had an extra ticket and was pretty sure that he would have driven the hour from Philly to spend a few hours with yours truly in the Meadowlands. May even have helped cheer on Shockey or joined the Toast in his last place Eagles chant. LAST PLACE EA-GLES!! Hahaha, take that Phelps!! Dang it, I'm so stupid.

Ok, I am getting all sidetracked and I'm not even drinking. This post is to have a topic. A few nights ago while trying to get to sleep I found my traditional beddy bye time music to be some random Radiohead mix and I got thinking about a night spent with the boys over the summer and a talk that sent the Toast into a frenzy. Let's revisit shall we...

Picture if you can, a few good time having boys enjoying a few too many pops and the local bar where only rambly conversations can ensue. At this point I am chatting it up with Billy Ball and Bung's sister. (key sidenote, Bung is one of Jitter's teammates from college) The topic of choice, one of my top five, Radiohead. Now this was a simple enough discussion. First, I was all amped to find a fellow Radiohead enthusiast, especially one that is a lady. Seldom is this a topic of conversation amongst my friends for many of them have a not so good opinion about my musical tastes. Unless it happens to be about Uncle Huey. Anywho, basically at this point of the evening we were talking about which album of theirs happens to be our favorite. My answer is easy enough, for me that is. It's "The Bends". However, my party vehemently didn't agree with my decision, citing many other albums as more worthy choices.


"Oy!! I finks Toast be roght wif 'is opinions of me musik."

Now, I'm not trying to say that everyone who disagrees with my thoughts on this matter are way off, but in my opinion I'm pretty sure of what I enjoy. I didn't think that you could be wrong in having a favorite album by an artist, even if some of there more recent work happens to be better than what you enjoy. Bung's sister and Billy Ball both opted to select "OK Computer", which is great and had that been the album that I really grew to love the band that'd be up there as my top five. As for now, "The Bends" is where we're stayin'. I'm not taking shots or preaching to anyone on this, I just stick to my guns when it comes to my favorite music, movie, candy bar, anything and they'll never be changed. I guess what I am trying to say, the night as I was rehashing this drunken powwow, I started to think of what some of may all time favorites are and what their current counterparts may be. For your enjoyment I present the Toast's all time favorite five albums.

Pearl Jam, "Vs." (Yep, not Ten)
Radiohead, "The Bends"
Tool, "Aenima" (cue Javen's hatred of processedindustrialnewmetal Tool garbage comment)
Pink Floyd, "Animals"
Stone Temple Pilots, "Purple"

If you check my profile you'll even see that STP and Floyd aren't even the tops for me. Hell, many of you might not even consider these albums to be good. All I know is that when I am able to sit there and really give them a listen, these five always bring me back to where I was when I first gave them a listen and how they either stepped up and increased my love of their particular bands music or fully sold me on what's to come. Well, that is except for PJ, I was sold right away. For now, I leave this mess of a blog behind me for I am afraid to read it myself. Enjoy your Thanksgiving everybody. I have a night to prepare for.

Reverse Dang-It, Definitely.

Ah, the chicken wing. The Toast is a big fan and its a pretty safe assumption that those tuning in to today's Toastedblog are wingie supporters as well. Could there be anything more terrific??? No way, aside from some peanut butter pie. That guy over there knows what I'm talking about. So many styles, so many signature tastes, let's break it down a bit shall we??

We've got the infamous COP to which their wingies can only be described as brilliant. You combine that with some high class Change of Pace atmosphere (chair tossers and Scooter's friends bring the COP some awfully handy special bonus points) plus lets not forget the $1 pints of Labatts and that makes for a good time. Best wings in Syracuse I'ms told. A trip to Buffalo in your future, hit up Duff's for a taste of the traditional wingies in a giant bucket. I like the Mount St. Helens flavor. Ooh, and some fries too....for the side. They're for the whole group.

But what if you like your wings with a little odd twang, maybe with what seems to be italian dressing. May I suggest the Stockade District of Schenectady and a little place known simply as BL's. Obvious high points of BL's include a possible guided tour of beautiful Stockade Schenect by one Javen Bohall, down the block from Slick's and a RC Cola vending machine, and maybe, just maybe, a drunken trip to the river. The wingies aren't bad, but if your a big fan of not getting indigestion, these wings may not be for you.


I like's 'em hot and chewy...Javen knows!!

We're not done there kids, what if you'd rather have them wings in a completely different format. May I suggest the chicken wing pizza and for that there is only one place to go, Oompas Pizza. Just make sure to go all hot sauce on the pizza and all hot on the wings for some good eatin'. I can still recall the first experience with the Oompa's chicken wing pizza, the "Tuck Rule" game with Javen and Willie Moe. Its sooo damn hot!! Pa Toastie laughing in the background while we get drunker. Priceless!! Do you prefer your wingies with a lovable Bostonian Irishman, the two go together I know, but maybe you should head to the Four's right across the street from the Fleetcenter in Beantown to enjoy their buffalo wing nachos with Tucker. Tuck's will tell you all about 'em. I'm a big fan to boot.

But what I write about has to do with where the Toast is heading for a little bit this evening with Army Matt and little Charlie Coville. That'll be the Blarney Stone. The wings, they're 20 cents tonight and what I'd call pretty damn good but its the intangibles that make the Blarney the best, around. What's that you say?? What intangibles?? Well, that would be Rachel, the bartender. Good times, good times. The only problem we have here is how do you approach the bartender and not seem like that guy, the drunk asshole trying to pick up the hot bartender. I may be drunk, but the Toast is lovable...and funny. You throw in some free popcorn, convenient location (walking distance), and a rendezvous with Rachel, you'll win every time. Just wish all the boys could be going with. We could stop at Chuck's and drink all of his beer before we head over. Now that's what I call the jackpot.

Hell hath no fury like the misapplication of Icy-Hot

Hey, the Toast has emerged from his nonblog writing slumber to announce to what few readers he has remaining that I am once again a champion and she's nothing like that Intrepretive Dance Title I held back in '87, for this is not solely based on a judge's score. My rugby team has once again won the NYS Div. III Championship and after the weekend I am all sorts of tuckered out. I guess that'll happen after playing a good two days worth of rugby. Plus, the partyin' doesn't help all that much, I'm sure of it. With a game against Binghamton on Saturday, the finals against arch rival Rochester on Sunday, hard core celebrating, and some west coast Shockey action the Toast rarely had time to sit and calm down.

However, I'm a bit sad to see this rugby season come to a close. I mean, there are a few things that I'll be looking forward to, like the being able to walk around without being in constant pain, normal Toast smell as opposed to the Icy-Hot cologne that I has become my new trademark, the possibility that my knee will no longer be the sized of a cured ham. Plus, I'll finally get to see this college football that everybody's been talking about. But I really do love playing and I don't think I can wait till the Spring season. Can I really live without that feeling one gets when he cakes his shoulders with that Icy-Hot all too soon after a nice hot shower?? If you've never had the experience let me tell you, its the best.......and the worst.

But, as mentioned, I'm going to have a bit more time on my hands and with this new found time I believe I'll have to start trying to see some of my friends that I haven't had too much contact with of late, and maybe some more Toastedblog worthy adventures. I found it hard to believe that I hadn't typed one of these mutha's in over a month. Really, what's the deal. Its not like I have the attention span of a.......Ooh, I'm missing Arrested Development.

Toastedblog, it's Totally Sick, Twisted, and F***ed Up

Well, Well, Well, what have we got here tonight kids?? Some interesting days have been had of late, and mark my words, the Toast has been doin' a good job of enjoying 'em. So, this Toastedblog entry may seem to be a tad more upbeat than the last. We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief.

First things first, I have been in pretty good contact with the little brother over the past week and a half. Word on the street is that when he finishes school in Michigan this December that we'll have another Cregg in the area. YAHTZEE!! I haven't been in the same state as Cory for more than a week since I was a senior in college. To top it off, he wants to get a place together. Sounds intriguing, I'm not gonna lie. Here I was previously stating that I wasn't going to be emotional. I'm really looking forward to him coming back. Cory and I are similar as Creggs come seeing as how we're just pretty much so damn awesome. Is that being too over the top?? If so, I apologize. But, much like his older brother (psst..that's me), Cory's not half bad at being goofy and likeable. Plus, its never bad having a goalie around.

Last week was loaded with some awful weather here in the 'cuse so the Toast was faced with finding ways to spend some time as we were kinda rained out at work. But don't you worry my toastedblog faithful. You see, I resorted to something the High School Toast would've done, and no, its not what your sick minds may think. I had videobattles amongst the music networks. Back in the day I discovered that the music channels actually played music videos during the hours of 8am to about 3pm, conviently the same time the kiddies be at school as they cannot be exposed to some what us locals call "music". So on the days that I went in to work only to be sent home either early or right away, I would find myself making some coffee and a tasty breakfast to try to see some of these "music videos" that I once remembered watching. It wasn't as enjoyable as I remembered seeing as how back then there was the possibility of seeing some videos by Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden, AIC, and much much more. Oh well, new Foo Fighters music will suffice. I like the Foo's. You know what else I am finding myself enjoying a bit more. Kanye. That's right, you heard me. I watched some live at the 10 spot concert one afternoon. Not to mention that Gold Digger video that is on at least 30 times a day. It's cool though, I don't mind. Toast is diggin' his style. "Ooh, I've got that ambition baby, look into his eyes."


Toast was 'spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money!

The Toast got his first start of the fall season this past weekend as my rugby team, the Syracuse Chargers, beat Watertown 38-0. Not too shabby huh. Didn't play too bad either. Had a few nice runs, couple hits....ooh and a beer or two. Chuck and BFF Mary stopped out to catch what I hope is a good glipse of the Toast in short rugby shorts. "Ladies, I ask you to please control yourselves. I know its difficult, but please try, for the sake of the readers." Don't laugh, there are readers. Nonetheless, they stopped out to watch for a bit. I do hope this starting thing is a new trend that sticks around for a while though. Usually I just sub in during the A games and play the B game. This seems to play ball though.

Finally, we get to something that is giving the Toast a little extra hop in my step. Hockey's back!! Jackpot!! I have decided to celebrate by heading to Buffalo this weekend with a few boys from my Rugby team to see the Bruins take on the Sabres. From what I'm reading the Bruins seem to be lookin' all right and from what I'm remembering Buffalo is a pretty awesome town. A few beers and chicken wings, Oh Mama!!

"Where I End and You Begin"

I can watch but not take part
where I end and where you start
where you, you left me alone
you left me alone.

For sentimental reasons, this post is written more through the identity of Casey rather than the Toastie you all know and love. We thank Radiohead for creating the solemn mood. To be honest, I'm not doing so well and its for reasons that all of my friends may not truly understand, just because they know what she did to me. The girl that changed my life upon meeting her four years ago is moving, and I am still in love with her. Jess has accepted a job with the Portland Opera. That's Portland, Oregon. She leaves tommorrow morning to drive across the country and out of my life for good. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the first uberdang-it of my young life.

Our story isn't really a long one, but its not one that is enjoyable for me to tell. Jess and I dated for two and a half years, roughly. Living together for close to a year. Everything was great. How could it not be with a girl who loved bacon, Star Wars, cartoons, hot dogs, baseball, video games, and most importantly, me. Its not just that she liked goofy stuff that nerds like me enjoy, this was the first relationship that I knew the very instant of meeting the girl that I was in love. I never could stop thinking about Jess, even to this very day. She shared her family, life, heart, all that mushy stuff, and did so with enthusiasm and joy that I had never experienced before. This was it. I had found a beautiful, extremely smart, funny, honest girl that truly was in love with me, and I knew it.

We met the fall after I graduated from LeMoyne, September 2001, and as I previously mentioned I was all up ons from the beginning. At the time, Jess was a Junior at Syracuse University and she had just begun working at the friendly local Zany Brainy where your's truly had been working all throughout college, selling toys to the youngsters. Oh god, I was so shy, but "not really" around her. We hung out for a few months before I even made my "move". She had to kiss me. I was too busy trying to show her that I could jump through the driver side window of the Wabbit. I meant, that we would talk for hours and hours on end but I was often too nervous to plant one on her. You should have seen me when I asked her out for the first time. If Loretta Buck ever comes across this website, or even Jess, they may remember. But the point I was originally going to get to before all of this heartfelt rambling was that with her being a two years younger than me, I wanted to wait till she was fully done with school before I was going to ask her to marry me. We had talked a lot about what we were going to do over the future, but I never told her that I had planned on proposing after she finished grad school, just this past spring. She had joked about it over one Christmas together that her friends thought that I was going to ask her but didn't. It wasn't my plan though. I had begun putting money aside for it when we split up abruptly in March of '04. Hell, even her stepfather Steve joked about the fact that Jess and I were going to be the next in their family to get married at his brother's Al's wedding in late October of '03, just a few mere months before she broke me, by telling me that she had in fact cheated on me, a suspiscion of mine that she had repeatedly denied over the last month or two that we were living together. You have no idea how it felt to return to our apartment that you offered to leave so she can pack and move out for the first time. To have to move the couch that we had in our computer room so you had a place to sleep because there was no bed. I don't really like talking about this. After all of this time it still hasn't gotten easier.

I have known about this move for a little while now, well, I found out about ten days ago. It has been over this time that I have reflected on my life with Jess and am beginning to see that maybe this is a good thing. Going through boxes of stuff that I can't get rid of, all memoirs of our relationship. Goofy notes, cards and letters, some that I can't even finish reading bear to look at. Billy Ball and I discussed this on Friday night and until right now, he stood as one of the few that knew what I was going through. He mentioned this very fact. You can finally move on. Perhaps he's right. I broke up with Margaret, a fantastic girl whom I dated following Jess for a number of months, just because there was a period of time last summer where we almost got back together. Ever since then I have stayed in regular contact with her and the one thing that remained was the hope that someday we would once again see each other the way we once did. Every other girl that I met would instantly not get the nod because I had this insane dream that we'd fall back in love and everything would be ok. Why did I feel this way. Last August, Jess told me that she had made a mistake and still loved me. That's why I state that we almost got back together. But, as before when we initially broke up, I got dang-ited. Just as it seemed that everything was going to work out, it just stopped. With no explanation. Now, this marks the second time a relationship of ours has ended with no reason. First one, the person who I loved would never had cheated on me. I loved her too much. But it happened nonetheless. No explanantion. Now, for the simple fact that she is moving across the %$&#*@! country, I should be able to finally move on. I really have no other choice.

It has been a year and almost seven months since we broke up despite all that we have been through, I still love her. We went to breakfast yesterday and had what seemed to be just a regular outing. A few times I almost tried to mention how I feel, but what is that going to do now. Perhaps its better this way. I don't feel it, but if I keep saying that to myself, maybe it'll help. Chuck and my BFF Mary have been trying to help me with this and no matter how much I want it to work, things aren't too fun right now. But my friends do care about me and want to see me through this. For that I say thank you.

I have invited the help of music to aid me through these horrid times by turning into a emotion filled mixmaster and creating the "Portland, Huh" box series featuring songs that have some meaning throughout the many different eras of our relationship. From the nights were we spent all night talking in my car when I was too nervous to kiss her and listened to "True Love Waits" by Radiohead to how I could yell the "You fuc%'in disappoint me" line from A Perfect Cicle's tune "Passive" that proved to be some drunken yelling music (Click on link and give a listen). PJ Harvey, Ben Folds, Tool, every band and song has some meaning. All culminating in the final track, "The New Style" by the Beasties. That to show a new era of Casey. I'm losing someone I will always love with all of my heart. Someone who I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with, and who I thought was ready to do the same. Jess, I really don't know what to say. I love you and I do wish you the best of luck. Wish things were much different between us and I'm sorry to see you go. I never felt as happy as I did when I was with you and its something that I will always remember. I'm done typing for now. Too difficult and I feel so helpless. But, its not about me. Enjoy life out west. No matter what you have done to me in the past I still remember how I loved you. I hope you continue to remember the time we spent together and if it meant just a fraction of what it meant to me, I'll be more than happy. Now, for what appears to be for the last time: I love you Jess. I love you so very much.

Sunday's can always be counted on for providing a few o' my favorites: watching some football, a beer or two, and fried stuff with cheese!

Ahh..the NFL, she's a back. Toast is a huge enthusiast of surrendering his entire Sunday to the likes of some healthy beer swilling men and the dank dark hole that we always return to come mid-September. Javen..Bill...you would have been awfully disappointed with the performance of Pat's Pub yesterday. Here's just a short list of dang its:

- only one sheet pizza was provided
- even scarier dudes than normal and the previous scary dudes got even worse
- a forty year old non-hot bartender
- no random really hammered townie!

What's the deal??

With the aid of a certain "Willie Moe" Emerson and Marcus C. Chumps, I was able to forge ahead with my opening day and make it to the coveted Giants v. Card's matchup. The decision to go to the C.O.P. at half put a little more hop in my step. Good evening all around, we get a Billy Ball run-in, Shockey gets a touchdown while the Giants win, and not to forget some top notch eating. A little word to the wise, too many garlic wings will not improve your standard "I drank a few beers while watching football and I may have made a big mistake" status.


Ooooooh...Stuff's gonna get Shockeyed!!

In other opening day news, my rugby team beat Buffalo pretty good on Saturday. I even scored my first try of the season. Not half bad Toast. Not bad at all. The Toast was forced to wear a knee brace as my right knee is still a bit filled with fluid since injuring it a few weeks ago in a rugby tournament in Saratoga and it feels like it needs a bit of support. I got the knee looked at this past Friday and the Doctor refered me to see another. Thinks it might be the MCL. I really am not having any stability issues with it or "real" pain. I practiced on Thursday, played two games on Saturday, ran, got hit, and gave hits and no problems were had. We'll see where it goes from here.

At the drink-up after the game, I ran into a guy I knew from my college days, John McGowan. He played rugby at LeMoyne and lived near me back in the Lancaster Ave. days. McGowan was the scrumhalf playing for Buffalo and I didn't really notice it was him until about the halfway point of the second half for I was at my normal wing position. The run-in we had at the chili on our post game spread would confirm the McGowan sighting. By the way, the chili ended up being pretty tasty.

All righty folks, I gotta get runnin' here. We's got some mo' football to watch! I just hope Madden refers to some Shockey.

SHOCK-EEE!!!

26 year old Toast...sounds terrific.

Happy Birthday Toast!! I'm another year older, and based on a conversation last night with my good buddy Kyle while watching the Sox game, my 26th year should be a good one. According to him, the odd numbered years are the ones that kick our ass and even ones, dem's the keepers. Looking back over the last few years and comparing my odds and evens, he's got a point. So Kyle's got that going for him...which is nice and the first few hours of 26 are shaping up to be pretty much gravy for me. Got's me a long weekend from work in which moe shall be enjoyed. That's right, the Toast is heading to Turin, NY for moe.down! Woo!!


Don't worry 'bout the Toast...this kid still got the chops!!

"Toast...Do you know anything about moe.?"

Of course not. But that's not the point. I'm goin' up with a few of the boys and meeting a good group of people there on Friday and lookin' forward to a weekend of gettin' loose!! You all know what I'm talkin' about. Lil' campin', lil' grillin', some booze, lil' what-have-you, gittin' down, ooh.....and hopefully some Chipwiches!! First weekend of 26, not so bad at all.

Quick rundown of what's been and what's to come to keep all up to date on the Toast:

- Raq at Lew Au in Sheds, NY a few weeks ago. A little pregame for moe.down. Only two words can describe that show, and you kids better earmuff it here..."fuckin' awesome!!"

-Saratoga Invitational Rugby Tournament last weekend. Only played two games because we actually lost the first game, giving us just a consololation game for third place to look forward to. Shouldn't of lost but a few too many errors and penalties. Toast took a hell of a shot though whilst trying to hold on to the ball just a bit longer before passing it off. My right knee is currently double the size of my left, not its normal white irish color that I am commonly used to., and has decided to make simple movements difficult. But I kept on playin'!! Dang it!! Fall Rugby season is officially underway.

-I've run into my past four girlfriends over the course of a month and two either have been or are currently pregnant. The one I have wanted to run into I am running into again soon. Hmmm....

-Got a package from Marquette for grad school in the mail the other day. You know where Marquette is don't ya??? Ooohh!!!

-Possible visit to see my brother and sister on opposite sides of Michigan. By the way, Kate is moving to Jacksonville, Fl in a few months.

-Annual Coville/Cregg trip to NYC for Giants v. Redskins game. Little Crapper, the Skins gonna get Shockeyed!!!

There's more but lets not ruin the surprise. But now its time for me to clean up my act for there's birthday fun to attend to.

Take 'er easy.

Major life altering decisions on the way??

Sorry it's been so long folks, but I've been a bit carried away of late. Way way too much partying if you get my drift. However, this recent month has made me realize that something has to be done. I HAVE to slow down drinking.

Look at this picture. This is just some imagery to help prove my point. I'm the one on the right. Now this shot is from Dependence Day Weekend on a night when it was my Bachelor Party in Baltimore. More on this when I finally can devote the time to write up the second leg. Look how hammered I am!! (I'm the one on the right.) In any event this blog is devoted to my behavior over the last few weekends since the vacation with the boys, Dependence Day Weekend is not the cause.


Second Leg Blog of Dependence Day Weekend to be written shortly, been busy. You know how it is.

I have been out of control over the last few weeks! I don't want to get this crazy and it's affecting how I have been spending my time. Instead of enjoying the world around me or furthering my intelligence, I choose to bunker myself in my TV room and nurse my hangover while repiecing key events of the night before. Now, a few weeks ago it was the Empire Brewfest here in Syracuse and my friend Sharon was in town from Long Island. Then the following weekend it was Yanks v. Sox with Boston dropping three out of four games, and that will drive any Red Sox fan to hit the sauce. Another weekend involved my buddy Kyle's neighbor Liz having a party at her house with unlimited booze However, over that time I have slept on someone's couch for two days straight, almost gotten in a fight with some dude at a bar, stood up a good friend for an evening together, been yelled at by a lady that I happened to be uber-smooth with a few weeks earlier for being too drunk and loud, made a fool out of myself several different times and the piece de resistance, had a insanely drunk phone conversation with my Mom in Chicago. This is not good. And what am I planning this weekend, my rugby buddy Army Matt is turning 26 and it also happens to be Harbor Fest in Oswego. Oy!!

I guess what I am saying is that I need to start controlling myself a little better when I am drinking. Perhaps my week and a half party with Uncle Jitter has revved up my partying for good. You Jitter enthusiasts know what I mean. So, after this week, I have decided to only bar hopping one night over the weekend and try being a little bit more low key on the other; thus giving me the ability to go and do something productive rather than not showering and eating Stouffer's french bread pizza all day. I'm gonna grab the world by the tail and wrap it around and put it in my pocket. Don't worry, I couldn't make it through an entire blog without quoting anything. Let's see how this works out.

"Oh Mama!!"

Well, where do I begin. Dependence Day weekend, the first leg. Should I be writing this blog while I'm a tad hungover and its almost 3pm? I feel like this story needs some proper thought to tell. A clear head if you will. But, I wasn't really clear headed over the weekend, or the entire week and a half that I was away. Can I just present a list to my Toastedblog readers of the random haps of my trip?? Am I having a conversation with myself through the internet? Well, I'm pretty sure that I confused the hell out of myself, and on a Sunday no less. OK, enough rambling about nonsense. Here's your stupid story.

-Thursday, June 23rd-
My Uncle Jitter (See tall guy in classicoverblog photos) and I head out to Chicago in his little red Mercedes complete with blown driver side speaker to hook up with Danny and his friend, Jeff. Who proves to be key with his retelling of Troy McClure line "Gay?? Selma baby I wish!!" from the Simpsons. While awaiting our arrival, Danny gets a second degree burned-ded right foot in a horrific beer brat marinating accident. However, Danny is certainly "living the dream" when we show up as he is seen sitting in his recliner with his foot in a large bucket of cool water wearing nothing but his boxers and drinking an Old Style. Thus begins the week and a half long drunkening with some of the greatest friends a kid named Toastie could have.

-Friday June 24th-
After some shirtless MLB 2k5 with Jitter, we head out of Danny's brat perfumed apartment to pick up some beers, mustard, and a lot of ice. Cubed, that's good stuff. Oh, and we had to get Danny at work so we could go to the greatest city know to man, Milwaukee. Mind you the Toast is dressed to the nines wearing a homemade yellow "Classic Overbay" t-shirt. While stopping for gas, Danny's inquisitive mind wonders what the conversation would be like with a stripper who works at a truckstop on the Illinois/Wisconsin border. This sends me into yet another giggling frenzy. Once Miller Park is in site while on the interstate, Danny once again gets me going with a classic Rodney Dangerfield line from Caddyshack; "Over there!! Swanson I wanna go over there!!" At 2:30 pm, we are the first car in the parking lot and all riled up for some tailgating. Game time, 7:00pm. Some damage is done as a drinking game is created while watching a few of our fellow tailgaters play some beanbag toss game. As we walk into the park, some dudes admire Danny's rainbow colored headband a give each of Jitter, Danny, and the Toast a beer. Two dudes sitting on a bench with nothing but a 12'er in between them, only in Milwaukee. Free Brewers Beerpen t-shirts we given to us a we were seated in the quote on quote beerpen. Go to the game, get a high quality T, not bad times at all. A hot girl yells at me in the 8th inning because I told Jitter that I was too drunk to hit on her and she thought that I called her dumb. I explain myself and make her feel foolish, but then I feel the same as my secret feelings toward this Wisconsinite were revealed. This wouldn't be the last lady that would run into the Toast in Milwaukee. I also made the mistake of having a really great conversation with a really unattainable woman. Who is this you may ask?? The wife of the musician that was performing at Guitar Bar downtown after the game. Its all good though, he ignored my heeds to play Huey Lewis' "Happy to be Stuck with you" when he was asking for requests. Bastard. Just play it!! If you aren't going to play requests why ask for them?? This week is starting of nicely!!

-Saturday June 25th-
For some reason I wake up singing "Shakin" by Eddie Money. My enthusiam after such a crazy night instantly inspires Danny to join in. That hotel had no idea they were going to host two of the hardest rockers in the world. Key sidenote, I drink to much shower water and almost die. After a quick nap and Danny throwing up in a coffee cup, I take over driving as we head from Milwaukee to St. Louis. After a nice drive with absolutely nothing to look at along the way, we find that we have made it to St. Louis. A nice hotel is our home for the night (ooh, the Heart of Rock and Roll has just come on the cd player, more Uncle Huey is all right with me; excuse me whilst I rock out for a moment. I just gotta groove baby)....Where was I?? Yeah, so we head out after the game and who's in the mood for nachos. It seems that the shortest member of Dependence Day Weekend, Danny friend Jeff has a hankerin for nachos. Jitter takes control with a poised and timely comment; "This place probably has nachos." Thats when the dancing begins. We find ourselves at some dance club type place and since we had already had a few beers ourselves, we decide to give it a shot. No more than 8 minutes into it, some lady starts dancing with the Toast and getting a little too friendly. Not gonna lie to you, I may kick ass at most things, but a dancer I am not. I can't even do the running man. Sure, I have my goofy dancing, but real stuff waved bye-bye to me a long time ago. She literally pulled my shirt up and starting pulling on my burly man chest hair. I'm not really quite sure what followed but at some point I managed to get away. She wasn't my type really. Danny and I also almost get in a fight with some Douchebags talking shit as we were walking to another bar. Good times.

- Sunday June 26th-
Its really quite simple, I manage to drink for about 17 straight hours. I don't really know if I am proud or a little disgraced with that last statement. I have nothing left to say for my defense. Cards lose extra inning game and we go back to Chicago.

-Monday June 27th-
In Chicago on a four day homestand while Danny goes to work and Jitter keeps dominating me in playstation. Over the week, his record against the Toast stands at 18 and 1. I'm awfully embarrassed. What makes it worse is that he had never played the game before and I was already halfway through a season with the Red Sox. Dang It, I know. Danny comes home and takes us to Moody's for the Moody Bleu Burger. Were talking a half-pounder with this blue cheese paste sitting atop it. Oh Mama!!! Toast out of commission but it hurts so good.

-Tuesday June 28th-
Jitter and I head out early in the morning to the Field Museum in Downtown Chicago. I love history, was my major in college. I really should have looked into becoming a Paleontologist or something. Dinosaurs rule. While there I got a uber classy photo of me behind a cock fight statue doing a George "Tamale" impression (from Little Jerry Seinfeld episode, see a future Jitter post on classicoverblog for more info), built a Triceratops skeleton the size of a volkswagen with the help of a nine year old. I also got my picture taken in front of a t-rex, just as I did 20 years before when I first visited the Museum. A little gift for my mom as I am to have dinner with her, my grandparents, and cousin Kristin later on in the evening. My mom moved to Huntley, Il., a suburb about 45 minutes from Chi-town a few years ago. She was real happy to see me as I was happy to be there. We went to the Outback. I ordered a monster steak and baked potato. Papa (my grandfather) tried to coerce me into asking out our waitress who had a thing for me. A possible maneuver to get me to move out there, hmmmm... It was outstanding to see everyone, especially my mom. Given our history of course. But it wasn't about that. It felt nice to be with family again. To have them want to talk to you, rather than feeling obligated at forced family functions. One of the highlights for the trip. Didn't think I'd get all sentimental on ya?? Nice touch huh?

-Wednesday June 29th-
Its the Taste of Chicago here all week so Jitter and I head out for it. My Uncle is impressed with how casually I can walk over to hot girls who are complete strangers and chat as I did at one point as we were trying to find our way to the Taste. After leaving he mentions that if I had asked them to join us they definitely would have with the way I was workin'. But I was just asking for directions, that thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Perhaps I should start giving myself a little credit. Anywho, armed with backpacks chock full o' Old Styles Jitter and I ate and drank our fill. Not before getting caught by some undercover cops while drinking our illegal home brought alcohol. We never should have gone over by the stage when we felt the urge to get down. One of the key sidenotes here, Morris Day and Jerome, the mutha-fuckin' Time were playing there that day. The rundown of what I ate: giant bbq turkey leg, bison burger, african jerk chicken, cajin' catfish nuggets, vietnamese chicken, pad thai noodles, chocolate covered cheesecake, Bailey's ice cream, beef enchilada, and two steak tacos. Oh Mama!! Late night was highlighted with a Toast explosion all drunk outside Danny's apartment which featured me yelling for no apparent reason and chucking a baffle of RC Cola at the wall. The best part about it was Danny only having to sing a part from the Planet of the Apes Musical starring Troy McClure in a Simpsons episode to get me cracking up and forgetting about everything . Dr. Zeaus, Dr. Zeaus indeed. Heee heee hee, and then the ape starts breakdancing. HA HA HA!!

-Thursday June 30th-
We head to Mansfield after a half day of work for Danny. Mansfield, Ohio. The home of our Uncle Jitter and Ma Jitter's infamous late night drunk mexican feasts. Us four end up at some karoake bar at about midnight and tear the roof off the mutha with a killer rendition of "The Power of Love" by, you guessed it, Huey Lewis and the News. We also meet some dude named Garth (real name Garris) who introduces us to some delicious shot called Storm Clouds. Baileys, 151, and a little amaretto, Nice!! I don't think anything can beat rockin a doob with a dude named Garth.

There it is, the first wave. We laughed, we cried, drank and ate way too much. Most importantly, I enjoyed every single moment of it. More to come in future Toastedblogs, I just can not type anymore. My elbow is actually starting to hurt. Sorry to leave you hanging. Don't worry, round two is even crazier. I'm getting excited!!

Dependence Day Weekend

The annual summer baseball trek across the Northeast. It has quickly become the most anticipated event of the season for the Toast. Chock full with plenty of Stoh's, sleeping with men, Big K, armbands, Chigago deep dish pizza, and Malorts; last summer's trip quickly became dubbed the "Classic Over-binge Weekend" and this journey would not be the same if it wasn't given the same treatment. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my esteemed pleasure to introduce you to, "Dependence Day Weekend". The countdown till the 4th of July starts now.

Loaded with a tremendous roster of dudes, "Dependence Day Weekend" does have definitely has some potential. We are loaded to the brim with characters old and new, but will there be a Phelps??? Only time will tell. I just hope I can come close to repeating the performance of last year's baseball trip. I did some damage let me tell you. Damage that can never be erased from there brains, no matter the number of Pabsts! So far, it seems that we're all in order. We have Javen, Billy, Willie Moe, Tucker (hopefully with Reyn), JT, Danny, Danny's friend, the Toast, and Dunford. Now that's a full van there. Burly dudes looking to get loaded and enjoy some games. Let us not forget about the pre- and postgame Oklahoma Drills.

As of this Thursday, following a well thought out Beginning II stop on Wednesday night, Jitter and I start heading towards Chicago to grab Danny for a highly touted Brewers matchup with the Twins. Seats in the Beerpen you ask, you better believe it. We get free T-shirts!! From there, the three of us will pick up shop and head to St. Louis for two games at Busch Stadium with the Cards taking on the mighty Jason Bay and Pirates of Pittsburgh.

But we don't stop there. That's just the first leg of the trip. A warmup if you will. Heading back to Syracuse to rendezvious with the rest of the boys is where this thing really gets under way. After forcing the 9/10 of us in a rented van pointed south, "Dependence Day Weekend" takes off in a whirlwind of stops over the course of three days. A game in Philadelphia between the Phillies and the Braves, Camden Yards in Baltimore to see the O's take on the Indians (and some Boog Powell BBQ), and finally a drive down to RFK stadium in Washington to see the Nationals and the Mets. We got a hotel in Philly for a night and one in Baltimore for the two nights. The Atlantic Coast has no idea what is about to hit.

These baseball trips seem to have taken the place of going to concerts and music festivals that my summer's used to hold. I am still waiting for a copy of the tape made by Billy from last year's adventure. I need to study it a bit so I can freshen up on my moves and have a repeat performance of proper drunkening. If last year was any indication of what these annual trips will have in store, there is no way I will be disappointed. I'm just looking forward to getting all of us together again for some sweet beautiful drunk talk....and the eating of grilled meats. I can not wait for the beer brats in Miller Park.

Well, that's about it for now. I have to continue compiling lists of classy 80's hits for some mix cd's to provide a soundtrack for D Day weekend. Feel free to throw out any requests. And don't worry Bill, there will be plenty from Bon Jovi's New Jersey album.

"Who Died and Made You Mark Bellhorn?"

Where have you been Toastedblog?? Let me be the first to apologize to my loyal readers for my blog production has been slipping steadily. The only way to correct this problem, write a little synapsis of what the hell I have been up to. So, in order to satisfy Toastedblog supporters (if they still exist) and to coincide with weather restrictions (its summertime), I give you the short version of my last month. See future Toastedblogs for "real" posts.

Well, let's see, where do we start? I did find myself a job for the summer (that is til grad school) working for a Contractor who knows my father real well. Remember, if you will, back in March I lost my job for some seedy reasons. I now find myself actually making similar money to what I was getting at my last joint; and the real bonus, I am working outside all of the time as opposed to crappy office. Can you say golden brown Toast? Reverse Dang It!! A semi-tan Irishman!!! Its great let me tell you. No longer am I a pasty Toast.

We finished our spring rugby season the other week beating Saranac, and drinking afterwards!! Nice!! As a quick sidenote, I think I have been playing the last few weeks with a broken bone in my hand, right near where the thumb meets the wrist. While tackling some dude three weeks ago playing against a team from Fort Drum, my hand got stuck underneath him and we kinda slammed on top of it. I continued playing only stop to quickly tape up my thumb to prevent it from moving around. However, the days that followed saw my hand swell up to twice its size and me not being able to turn a doorknob. Well, its been a while and it really isn't bothering me anymore. From time to time I can notice something but, if it really was broken, I would have known it right?? I broke my wrist similarly in a hockey game in high school. By similarly, I mean that I didn't know anything was wrong until three days later. Anywho, we're doing ok now.

So, how does this Toastedblog title fit this post?? It makes no sense!! Well, it would if you were where I was last week. I WENT TO FENWAY!! Last weekend I hit up Boston with good buddies (and fellow Sox fans) Joe and Kyle for a few games. Some dude I ran into in the beer line had the best t-shirt ever!! The aforementioned "Who died and made you Mark Bellhorn". Simply put, a great tee!! So, I saw the Sox bullpen get ripped in a 13-6 loss to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim from the bleachers in Right Field last Saturday. We followed that up by sitting in the fourth row behind home plate in a 6-3 victory on Sunday. I sat in front of the radar gun guy!! We stayed in a hotel about a half mile from the Park and just soaked in all of the sites and the sounds of a weekend in Beantown. Let me be the first to say, it was good times!!

Well, time restrictions have hit and its time for me to head on out. One of the best things about summer, the outdoor beer. I would like to extend another apology for my lazy posting. Please continue to read. They'll be better I swear!! That's it, I'm out!!

"If we didn't get the chicken wings so what; we've still got that Meat Lover's pizza in the trunk."

Toastie: "So I says to the guy, wrecked 'em, damn near killed 'em."

Oh, hello. Didn't see you come in. So what's up there my Toastedblog fans? Here, not much. Except my BROTHER is in town!! Yee-haw!! Its not half bad too. He has the week off from work and decided to drive out here from the Michigan for a visit. Cory rolled into town at about 9 pm last night, just as I was coming back from beers over at good buddy Charlie's place. Needless to say its great to see him here. We sat around chatting for a bit and laughing at these old pictures of my father from our childhood. But we needed more, and a trip to see the wonderful Rachel at the Blarney Stone was in order. Few things are as enjoyable as having a couple beers with your younger brother.

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug!
This morning brought us a trip to Armory Square and a run in with the store Soundgarden. Not much was picked up by the Toast as I was kinda just along for the ride. See my brother is a huge Dave Matthews fan and their new album just dropped. What, you don't think the Toast knows how it is on the streets?? Anyway, I did decide to pick up the new Ben Folds album. At first listen, all things seem to be in order, although its a little mellow. But I suppose the majority of his music is that way so what the hell am I talking about? For the rest of the week though, not quite sure what the plans will be. I'm sure we'll figure something out.

For example, today is Wreckin' Ball's birthday. She's having a gathering at Coleman's for a bit this evening and the Toast intends to be there for moral support. Oooh, and maybe a corned beef sandwich!!

Finally, this past sunday was Mother's Day. For those of you who don't know my mother and I have an interesting relationship. I just wanted to take a moment and say a quick Happy Mother's Day and despite all of the quarrels and fights over the years, I love you Mom, and always will.

"You as Cold as Ice"

Lately I have been getting accustomed to the whole downloading procedure with the Toast's new computer and have spent some time acquiring as many episode's of Chappelle Show as possible. Today's Toastedblog title obviously is in reference to this but also has another meaning. Tomorrow, I am meeting a few of my ex coworkers for Happy Hour at Colemans. One of the many topics that is sure to come up, the way in which I was let go recently. Ooh, they as cold as ice!!

I'm one of the baddest mutha (beep) of all time
In any event I am to meet up with some of the many ladies that I used to work with. No Toasted fans, it won't be in "that" way. These ladies all are pretty much engaged or married, some even with children. It isn't to be a Friday night sexcapade. Should be interesting though. I got to be pretty close with one coworker in paticular, Michele. In an office pretty much full of ladies she was one of the only sources of "normal" conversation. As opposed to banter on reality TV or bridal registry. She is a fellow Sox fan and does enjoy College Football (Her and her husband Ken went to Ohio State). With that being said I suppose I can't hold the liking of Ben Affleck against her.

Otherwise it is pretty much a typical weekend to look forward to for the Toast. I have to drive to Kingston, Ontario for a rugby match on Saturday. Its our first match in a few weeks but I'm all set. I just need to remember to bring my passport and birth certificate. My international trip has taught me that. Do I need to bring up the Montreal Expos trip?

Customs Lady: "Casey. Mark. Next time remember your proper identification."

Willie Moe and Danny: "Who are Casey and Mark?"

The other big news going on here is that my brother is returning to Syracuse for about a week. He'll be here without his girlfriend Josalyn as well. Don't get me wrong, I like Josalyn. She's great people!! But we all know how different dudes can act when they are around their ladyfriends, as opposed to just hanging out with the boys. Needless to say that I am looking forward to it.

O.K., I'm out. YAY Cinco De Mayo!!

Good Bird, a Three Legged Dog, Mindless Trivia, and Local Radio Personality Scorch; Just Your Typical Wednesday Night with the Toast

Well, its been a little bit since I have written quality Toastedblog material; some of my audience may be racking their brains right now to see if there is actually one entry that could actually be labeled "quality". However, today's subject has some merit, trust me. How do I know?? Have you ever heard of the Wednesday night patio party at the Beginning II?? Oooh, hurts so good!!

Anywho, the day began yesterday with the Toast here all amped up for the Sox v. Orioles on ESPN and a possible rendezvous with Willie Moe Emerson for some eats and ESPN MLB 2K5 (my latest and greatest purchase). However, I was met with early disappointment seeing as how the Sox game was all set for rain delay by the time I went to watch Sportscenter. Soon, we see that the rain in Boston did not stop and the game was postponed for a later date. Talk about a tremendous dang it. Here I was all set to watch the Sox in the early afternoon while I did my daily resume sending and trying to find the Toast a new jobby job. But I refused to give up on my Wednesday.

While searching Monster.com and the local Syracuse paper's want ad's, I decided to ask our dear friend Uncle Jitter about his online gaming ability via IM for what I did not tell you was that with my purchase of a new baseball game, I had to go out a get a new PS2 for mine had decided to die on me over the past few months. I blame the 4 foot tumble it took of the top of Danny's TV a few years ago during some drunken football playing or the rogue mission taken by MacGuyver Chuck to personally take it apart and get my PS2 fully functioning again. You see, this new PS2 I picked up is online ready, but now I am getting off track. This was not how this blog was supposed to go here.

But Toast, how is this blog supposed to read exactly?

Well, I will tell you. Jitter and I got to talking for a little bit and all of the sudden one night in particular came up in conversation. Think back to the Lancaster Days following my graduation. Javen, Jitter, you may know explicitly what I am referring to. You see, the Beginning II (BII for future reference) has a killer special on Wednesdays in the spring and summer. For the low low price of about $8 you can go out back on their patio and have an all you can eat and drink BBQ from 6pm-9pm. I don't know about you my internet readers, but the Toast can pack in quite a bit of booze and bird in that amount of time. We all used to hit up this deal, drink as much as we could, and our wonderful personalities got us the ability to be able to take a plate of various meats leftover from the BBQ for some key late night drunken gorging. The one trip to the BII that Jitter brought up was how on the drive to another bar, JD's tavern, and the ride home later that night, I was able to polish off every piece of chicken that we took as leftovers. Jitter had been driving and asked for some delicious bird to munch on. With no chicken in sight, I opted to give him a hot dog. Maybe he wouldn't notice. Angrily, he denied my offer.

This talk struck a nerve with the Toast yesterday and I immediately sprung into action.

" Jitter, do you think that the Patio Parties at BII may have started yet this year??"

Quickly, I called Willie Moe to see what he knew. Finding only off the wall responses of movie quotes from Super Troopers (say Car RamRod) and inane babbling, I figured this may not be the best place for me to have checked. Don't you worry Toastedblog fans, Jitter forwarded me the number to the BII and I placed the call myself. JACKPOT!!! I should warn you, this blog may be trying on the eyes and mind for it is getting pretty long. You Portuguese readers may want to re-bock for this because now we get to the heart of the order. I give you, the run down of my Wednesday evening.

5:30 pm: I drive in the Toasted Jeep to pick up Willie Moe. Only word from Billy Ball is that he will be at Clark's at 8 for trivia. Conversation on the drive over to the BII includes topics such as: gosh, we haven't been to the BII in a while, remember the time that the drunk BOC fan came with us to Trapper's and we disguised him as Jitter's Uncle Jim by tucking in his shirt because he kept saying that they wouldn't allow him in there anymore, hey, Astro Lanes now is called Bella Luna, when did that happen.

6:00 pm- 8:00 pm: Ah, the first beer. There is something new to the BII lineup, door prizes!! They give you ticket when you pay for some drawing held at 8:45, just before the special ends. We don't know what the prizes will be, but I am sure Jitter would discribe this as a fancy play!! Ooh, local radio personality and crappy DJ "Scorch" has decided to grace dive bar goers with his presence. Why wouldn't he be here?? And look, he brought all his fellow radio workers with him, all dressed in their black 105.3 "The Dog" hooded sweatshirts. Speaking of dogs, there is a three legged dog that has decided to familiarize himself with Willie Moe's crotch. Just typical BII behavior right there. Let me tell you though, the spread was phenominal!! We're talking italian sausage, ribs, bird, burgers, dogs, mac salad (a personal favorite), and some questionable looking potato salad. Throw in some endless Miller Lite Draft, you've got some good times. Other highlights to include, some loner at the bar getting all amped up when "Scorch" hands him two free passes to see the hit action movie XXX "State of the Union", only one attractive female in the entire bar and watching local radio personality "Scorch" hitting on her endlessly, crappy NBA playoff talk, running into the father of my rugby teammate Bill "Roofy" Ferris, Willie Moe saying you know that he's a dude when he's drinking a tall Pabst can, trying to apply for the position of Tap Master (the BII has caught on to us just filling multiple beers and stockpiling them at our table for endless free beers following the conclusion of the special and put some dude manning the keg at portions of the evening).

8:00-8:30 pm: Will is cold and he desires pants. That's right Billy Ball, Willie Moe is not wearing pants. We head back to his apartment for a quick stop on the way to trivia. It is here that a cleverly placed phone call from our Uncle Jitter is received, he caught us early in our drunkening. Random banter is passed to and fro and in the end Willie Moe and lady friend Jaime follow the Toast to meet Billy at Clark's for weekly Team Bo Hall trivia.

8:30-11:30 pm: Ok, this is where we get interesting. Walk into Clark's and not gonna lie to you, have a bit of a buzz working. Slamming 10 miller lites will do that to ya. We meet up with Billy, Rage Cage, Billy's sister Kate and her Wed Tilliams hating, plus her man friend, and let us not forget tasty screamers and a recent Toasted favorite, the Prior Double Dark. I instantly clash with Billy Ball in his response to the question of how old was Ronald Reagan when he was elected president in 1980. (I told him that Reagan was 70) Anywho. we just get louder at a packed house there at Clarks and not to brag, we did pretty well. I get ragged on a bit for believing that we have second place locked up following the last round of trivia, and we ended up placing fourth. Not a tremendous dang it but one can never argue when they give you a gift certificate for placing third or better. We continue to stay for a few more beers and good conversation. Really, just fun rambling at this point. We make fun of Billy's brother, the infamous Beach Justice, make fun of the Toast and his joblessness (I keep telling myself that they didn't mean it) and plenty of sweet beautiful drunk talk. Its what we're good at. Well, that and sports. Ooh Ooh, lets not forget movie quotes. And Kate's man friend is a Radiohead fan, that topic will get the Toast all riled up every time. This is the point in the evening where the Toast and his memory get a little hazy. Oooh, the Toast's computer just started to play "Lay Your Hands on Me" by the Jov. Excuse me while I rock out for a few minutes. Let's turn this one up a bit.

11:30 pm-2:00am: Right here is the secret beauty of unemployment. The midnight hour. While others decide to go to bed, I can continue to rap, get weird, whatever. Tonight, I decide that I am not quite finished with beers and I help myself to a delicious Molson from the fridge whilst I enjoy a few episodes of "Arrested Development". The following lines send me into a frenzy:

Lucille: Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.

Buster: [about Lucille] It's like she gets off on being witholding.
Michael: Whoa. Buster.
Gob: Look who's got something to say.
Buster: [impersonating Lucille] I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself. [everyone laughs]
Gob: Look who's ragging on the old lady.
Buster: Cause I'm an uptight [long bleep]
Buster: Buster [Long bleep]
Buster: ... you old horny slut!
Michael: [pause] Well, no one's going to top that.

Tobias Funke: [footage of Tobias trying on a speedo with his cut-offs on] Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?

Well, that's about it, just a quick rundown of last night's events. Not half bad I think. In other Toasted news this Saturday our rugby team is having a fundraiser at the Syracuse Suds Factory. It goes from 2-6pm and for $10 you get in, all the food and drink you want, we're going to have door prizes, raffles, live entertainment I guess, and what every fundraiser needs, 25 drunk rugby players with all of their friends. I've asked a few people if they had plans this Saturday, if you're up for it, let me know. That's it, I'm out for know. Keep it real!!

What could possibly make you think that late night Taco Bell is ever a good idea??

Ok, I know that I have done many a stupid things over the past few years and true, much of it has come as an obvious reaction to an excess of alcohol consumption, but I have no idea what possesed me to make such a hasty and rash decision last night. What was that life altering choice you ask?? Did you knock out a fellow motorist and flee the scene in his Ford Focus?? No. What'd ya do Toast; club some baby seals?? No dice. Actually, I'll tell you what's up. Yesterday. I voluntarily went to Taco Bell. Doh!!


Oh, hurts so good.

Now, when I say that I went to Taco Bell, I mean I REALLY went to Taco Bell. I mean, I gorged on that grade D taco meat and was NOT shy with the hot sauce packets. I'm not going to lie to you my Toastedblog readers, I decided to visit the local Bell in an altered condition (with a few beers) and I do feel that my reasoning may have been affected. But I really took the idea and ran with it though.

Wednesday Night, 12:47 am: I zoom up to the drive-thru with a cigarette in hand and the new Beck album blasting in my Jeep. At this point in time I am still really wondering what the hell I am doing here and am seriously contemplating driving off to just eat something at home. Part of me is fully aware of what the horrible outcome will be when I wake tomorrow and feel like someone has just played the worst prank on me imaginable and taken away my ability to properly digest food. This, almost two full weeks after April Fool's. The bastards!! But, I continue and now I'm up to order. So what do I do??? Well, seeing as how I haven't eaten since that english muffin for breakfast I naturally do the classic over-order. Either it was the glance out of the corner of my eye or it was the blazing lights that surrounded its perimeter but I was drawn to the Big Bell Value Menu.

Toast: Yeah, I'll go with the spicy chicken burrito, no wait make that two. Yeah, and the spicy chicken taco, I can do that. Ooh ooh, and the beef and bean burrito, I'm pretty sure I can handle that too. Make sure you throw in a bunch of those hot sauces.

Taco Bell Associate: Would you like anything to drink?

Toast: No thanks, I have beers at home.

That was my order, verbatim. I head home with my sack o' crap and immediately throw Arrested Development in the DVD player. Run to the fridge, crack open a beer, and tear into awful mexican food like drunk Willie Moe on Scooter's COP pizza. Here I was laughing hysterically at Buster explaing to GOB about hermano being Spanish for brother by saying "Hey Hermano" and mimicking a shoulder rub; all while dumping hot sauce over every portion of chicken burrito and shoveling it in my mouth. It is during nights like these that you notice some pretty awesome talents that you didn't know that you had no idea that you possessed. For instance, did you know that I can eat a taco in two bites. Yeah, neither did I. Amazing.

Needless to say that after that meal I only had enough energy to watch another episode and a half before I was out like a light. And not to disturb those readers with weaker stomachs but I was correct in my assumption in what the food would do to me the morning after. Dammit, I hate being right. Stupid tacos!! But damn did they taste good!!

In other current Toasted news, I am heading down to Montauk, Long Island for the Northeast Regional Rugby Playoffs this weekend. My team, the Syracuse Chargers, come in ranked No. 1 and have a first round bye. Not half bad. Should be a good weekend from what the others are saying. I'm just looking to have a few beers, a few laughs, a few what-have-you's. That and playin' some good rugby. This is going on while a bunch of the boys (Tommy, Javen, Dunford, Possible Willie Moe) are heading up to Montreal for a few days. I'm definately missing out on a good time. Smoked meats, 7 cent (Canadian) chicken wings, Aquarium sized pitchers of Canadian Beer (which we all know is like moonshine), strip clubs, Ste. Catherine's St, possible Jose Theodore sightings; how can I give all that up?

How can this season be so "Cold Blooded"??

Hey internet faithful, today it helps to say a certain portion of our Toastedblog title as one of the hilarious characters here, but I may not need to tell y'all that. I know Billy will understand, he's heard the voice many a times, especially after made three pointers that were vehemently opposed to by my lovable teammate. Cooold Blooded.

So Toast; why cold blooded? Well the answer to that is simple. Been on bit of a binge of late and starting to feel a little groggy. Cooold Blooded. Thanks to good pals and "drinking while watching sports" enthusiasts Javen and Danny coming into town, "Dr. Chaos" Phelps himself being on break from Med School, and my new-found, free from employment status has left me to explore the many different options available to the beer enthusiast. However, I have gotten a few job offers.

What's that you say Toast? You gonna go enjoy a few beers after rugby practice on Tuesday?? Sounds good. Clark's trivia on Wednesday?? Sho 'nuff!! How 'bout a few beers at the rink bar after playing hockey late Thursday night. You've earned it seeing as how you've been skating for the last few hours. Not to mention that you also had rugby today. Hell, I'll have more than a couple!! Throw that in with getting Phelpsed with Willie Moe and Oregon Tracy on Friday and an all night escapade while enjoying the Final Four. Still, we have opening night in baseball. Sox and C.O.P., double dang it!!


PortuGOAL, be on the lookout for this man for he may be at large in your area. Unfortunately, he isn't here.

Anywho, I'm starting to slow down a bit and looking forward to a much needed break here on Monday. Who'da thought that unemployment would be so hard. Still, the job hunt continues and the tedious task of interviewing will hopefully find an end soon. I can't keep this up. In related news, my desk belongings recently arrived at my door as well as another paycheck. Soon I will be rid of my former employer for good and I don't think I could be happier. Well, actually I could. Do you think that we could get Trot Nixon to hit two homeruns for me tonight?

Wreckin' Ball Comin'!!!

Wow, not being at work for a while has sure made for the time to pass by here awful quick Toastedblog fans. To think that you have had to deal with one entry a week probably has forced you to go elsewhere for fine internet entertainment. Might I suggest you check out this next time. Hilarious!!! I'm giggling just thinking about it.

So why the Wreckin' Ball title?? Well, we here at Toastedblog have decided to thank our good friend Kristin (aka Wreckin' Ball) for allowing the Toast to borrow the new Queens of the Stone Age album by puttin' her name on the board!! A better reward, there probably could have been, but she's not in it for the glory. Just in it to further the advancement of awesome rockingness!! That and it gives me the opportunity to say stuff like "Wreckin' Ball Comin!!" and have pictures of Carl Spackler on Toastedblog.

Where was I?? Oh yeah, Queens of the Stone Age (from now on shall be referred to as QOTSA). Lullibies to Paralyze is fantastic!! At least I think so. And I know how much my friends value my opinion on music, movies, sports, politics, etc. so my presenting the awesomeness value of this album may not matter all that much. But damned if I didn't go to minor league catcher camp, and damned if I wasn't NutRocker, Heisman trophy hopeful; so you will have to at least acknowledge my opinion.


Ya know, if you ever wanna rap, or just get weird with someone, buddies for life..I think.

But this recently released QOTSA album is still pretty damn good. I have listened to it a few times since Shea let me borrow at the Change Of Pace last night. So far, I really like the song "I never came". As a matter of fact I am listening to it right now. A lot of critics of this album will say that this album may be missing a lot of uumph behind it due to the departure of bassist Nick Oliveri. Singer/guitarist Josh Homme does a bang up job picking up the slack and the album ends up being a bit moodier than past albums and is almost haunting all together. It's a lot of dark eerie harmonies and Homme's voice just blends in with 'em. You see a lot of this on the song "Someone's in the Wolf". But that's the thing, this is all really well done. At no point was I disappointed that I was listening to it. It gets the Toastedblog stamp of approval, so all you kiddies, feel free to pick it up. Get me a sandwich while you're out there, please. What?? What kind??!! I dont know....kinda in a reuben mood!! Yeah get me one of those!! And a root beer!! Delicious.

Well, rugby has officially started. We had been practicing inside Manley Field House and just doing a ton of running and only a few drills. The other day we had our first outdoor practice and not gonna mie to you, it was a little sloppy. We have a intersquad scrimmage on Saturday at noon with teams from both S.U. and LeMoyne to warm up for next weekend's tournament in Pennsylvania. I may have found myself some more playing time at the inside center position as apposed to wing. That means a little more hitting!! Is this a good thing?? I guess we'll find out. But in practices I have been running more there and I have to say I'm doing all right at it. Once again, I guess we'll find out.

Well, the job search has begun. The other day I posted a few resumes on monster.com and actually applied for a few jobs. But I am still upset at the way things ended at my job just last week. To be called at 11 pm and told not to come into work anymore. I still haven't gotten my stuff from my office. I was told that they didn't want me in my own office to get my personal belongings out of my desk. And to lose my job for something everyone else was doing, just seems a little shady is all. Billy tried to get me riled up and fiesty to stumble into my office all loaded and make a huge scene while requesting my stuff. To be honest, I wanted to stay out all night drinking and show up at my office at about 10 am with Willie Moe, Phelps, and Billy, all drunk and our stinking of diner food demanding that I be able to clean out my desk. Oh well, on to bigger and better things now I guess. And hopefully that reuben.

It's 1:32 AM and I'm still up drinking; why is that??

Well, it isn't because of St. Patrick's Day that I am still up drinking this evening. Actually around 10:00 pm I was quite tired and had already turned off my brand new computer. Yeah, that's right toasted blogs via a pajama clad Toast. Let's not forget the Creighton sweatshirt. There, that should make you all warm and fuzzy and make this news a little easier. I got fired this evening.....by a call to my cell phone at 11:00 pm. Dang it.

It's the An-Syr-Iri-Dri-Con '05

Woooo....It's almost St. Patrick's Day. You know what that means, us good ol' Irish get to celebrate our wonderful heritage. Uh...that and.....every...uh....everyone goes out and drinks delicious green beer. That's it!! Technically this past Saturday was the St. Patty's Day round here, or as I like to call it, the An-Syr-Iri-Dri-Con '05. (Annual Syracuse Irish Drinking Conference 2005) Not a bad time I tells ya. Not bad at all. That's what our current toastedblog entry is all abut internet faithful. Oh yeah, that and I can never again refer to Phelp's as Chumps.

As many as you know, our god pal, resident chef, and medical consultant Phelps has been given the nickname Chumps from your friendly neighborhood Toast by account of him being, at times, my arch-nemesis. Other than being an Eagles fan and having keener culinary instincts, Phelps has never done anything to warrant such a nickname; as a matter of fact Phelps has stated that he indeed really likes the Toast. To be honest, Phelps is pretty awesome........off the record of course. I just like the forced animosity; kind of like wrestling your brother. Do my friends have brothers? A recent interaction betwixt Phelpsy and myself has, in fact, changed my opinion of who the "actual" Chumps is in this friendship.

Think back if you will, to a time before time actually existed or, if you're having difficulty, we'll just use Saturday afternoon. Yeah, lets just go with Saturday. The annual parade mentioned above was occuring and the Toastmaster General was all riled up to stand outdoors with some good people and have a few too many brews. I headed over shortly after 12pm with my long time gal pal Chukes (or Michelle) to meet up with a few friends to enjoy the afternoon the only way us Irish know how. To quote the infamous T.T., It's my birthday...and I'm getting drunker!! At this point, my tentative battleplan for the afternoon was drive downtown with a backpack full of 'Stones, find everybody's favorite little crapper Charlie Coville and girlfriend Mary with whom we are supposed to meet up with and call Billy Shannon for there were talks of going to eat at Sud's Factory, complete with Rage Kage and wicked fun Jaime at 1:30. After a brief run in with Billy and the ladies while Toast was trying to locate a restroom facility, Part B of An-Syr-Iri-Dri-Con '05 was taken care of. That is, I now don't have to worry about calling Billy. The act of going to Sud's and eating terrific sandwiches which should have been No. 2 on the priority list never actually takes place. We blame that entirely on Priority No. 1. See birthday line above.

Ok, this is when we get to Phelpsy. After the parade ends; roughly 3pm, I am wandering around with a good twelve pack in me and I've missed Sudsy Billy and the company of some lovely ladies. That and food. I walk in to Mulrooney's, grab a beer, and mingle, running into some people I don't see too often anymore like college buddy and current accountant Timmy Hyle, and one surprising run-in with a kid named Mike Donnelly. (little help from the Donnelly campaign!) He was a Freshman when I was a Senior at LeMoyne and a fellow left winger on the hockey team. Toast, who during the off-season had been dubbed "Senior Sensation" by the LeMoyne media took well to the encourageable Freshman and faced off in many a hockey bus ride beer chug challenges during the one year that we played together in school. He was a good kid and recognzed me as soon as I walked by. We chatted, enjoyed a drink or two, and now I am getting off track.

While waiting in line for the bathroom, Billy, Kathie, Jaime, and Phelpsy stroll on by. I ramble on like I have a few drinks in me and ultimately do shots with Phelps. After a few more drinks somehow I end up at the Stoop, a martini bar. Why am I here?? Oh well, after a beer or two there is talk of beaking to the Irish relm of Syracuse, and the Toasted home base, Tipperary Hill. Great, now I can go get something to eat and relax for a moment before heading out and gearing up for the Big East Championship game a little bit later. The refrigerator was already prepared for my arrival seeing as how there was leftover sausage with peppers and onion that I promptly reheated and ate in a drunken stupor....with horseradish mustard I might add. Then...suddenly...it happened. The couch proved to be too powerful for me and within minutes a nap was in order. Dang It!! I missed the S.U. game!! Double Dang It!! There are 11 messages on my cell phone wondering where I am!! Phelps is calling me out! Tremendous Dang It!!!

Now, we're looking at 10pm and I have completely lost the past three hours. Calls from Rage Kage, Kyle, Chumps (no longer Chumps), Mags, amongst others have been unable to awaken me from my sandwich enduced slumber. Even worse news would soon follow upon noticing that when I fell asleep on the couch on Pseudo St. Patty's Day the other half of my sandwich had fallen on the floor, no telling how long its been there. #?%& !!

10:30 pm and I am now standing outside local Irish bar Coleman's to prove to Phelps that I am not the new Chumps and to salvage the rest of my St. Patrick's Day. No matter what I say, I cannot convince myself that the mass of man seated before me and not the Toast should have the surname Chumps. I don't think that after my little sleeping performance I should have the privilege of calling one of my friends an undeserved nickname, I did however rally like a trooper and stayed out until 3am. What makes the evening either greater was the fact that Phelpsy and myself are no longer the mortal enemies that we were. Now I can only call him Chumps when playing Golden Tee or while watching Shockey blow up the Eagles. SHOCK-EY!!!

In other toasted news, the playoffs have started in my hockey league. We lost our first game of the postseason 7-5 but we have a chance to even the series tomorrow night. My team, the Underdogs, have our work cut out for us but I think we'll be fine. Maybe I'll bring a flask on the bench, it will be St. Patrick's Day after all. Sorry its been so long since a decent toasted blog. Just you wait till after this weekend. What's up you ask?? Let's just say that B.L.'s may have some walking drunks on Friday and Saturday. What the hell, Sunday too.

What? No! We can't stop here. This is bat country.

Its 12:00 PM on Saturday and I'm on beer number 5!!
I guess there is nothing an Irishman won't do for a beer. Ah, the Human Dog Sled Race at Winterfest. Note the extra pale white legs the Toast features in the 12 degree temperature; perfect weather for rugby shorts. The green hockey helmet, part of regulations. They made us wear some sort of helmet and since I am a back and not a "forward" in rugby, I do not have the need for a scrum cap that my other teammates can be seen wearing. This image caused ridicule from the Toast's younger brother with accusations of mental retardation. In the immortal words of Daniel Banazek, he's so dead to me! We took first place by the way, winning money for charity. What charity, I don't recall. There was a lot of beer to be had that day.

Toastedblog presents: "The Toastie Story: Booze, Drugs, Guns, Lies, Blackmail, and Laughter"

*Disclaimer* This Blog is not based on 715 Lancaster, so there are no Shovelball references. That shall be discussed in future editions of Toastedblog*

**Contents edited via comments made by Daniel Banazek**

Good afternoon toastedblog faithful; how we all doing?? Well, we have a lot to get to today so you better pick up your sticks and get ready. Despite my best efforts of late to ruin my internet rep, I have actually decided on a topic to write about so this entry of toasted information will not be some rehashed and edited former toastedblogs nor will it be the nonsense encountered last week, which I like to refer to as definitely non-Scottish and we all know our rule here; if its not Scottish, ITS CRAP!! (whiny background voice: "But Toast, we thought you were Irish?") Dang it, no time to explain, who asked that question anyway?? Alright, I'm almost entirely Irish with a wee bit of Scot, but I'm all man!!! I was just trying to use a Saturday Night Live quote from back in the day. We better with the explanation now? Ok, on with the show.

Today, we are all going on a journey. We have a bit of time traveling to do so I hope y'all gassed up your DeLorians. Get ready to cue Jitter with the "where we're going, we don't need roads" line cause we're heading Back....to the Future!!! Dang it, that's where Michael J. Fox was trying to go. We're just going back to the year 2000; the reason, the origin of the Toast.

**key sidenote: Billy, I am eagerly awaiting copy of Chigago weekend tape. See Jitter's line**


1.21 Gigowatts!!!

The year was 2000/2001. The NY Football Giants are being led by a confirmed drunken racist and a man pushing his chips to the center of the table.....this team is going to the playoffs. Great movies like Big Momma's House and Chicken Run are tearing up the Box Office, Sisqo and the Baha Men were hittin' the streets with some brand new flava in your ear, and apparently Rob Thomas is the best songwriter known to man. Is this before the time he collaborated with Carlos Santana. I threw up in my mouth a little bit every time I heard that song "Smooth". Here we find the days of the band Everclear going from hard rock to cheese pop (ever listen to "AM Radio" or "Wonderful"....sigh), something was going on in Friends, and Conan's "In the Year 2000" skit reached new hilarity with the year actually being 2000. It was a time between Super Nintendo and Gamecube so Nintendo 64 was all the rage. Back then, Napster was free, Tool was about to release their first new album since 1996 and we were still a year away from a Star Wars Episode II disappointment. The days of Bent, Bye Bye Bye, return of Bon Jovi (Yeah Rage!!!) and Sting, even though he required some new age singer, and U2 was about to launch their most annoying album since Pop, which also happened to be their first release since Popmart tour. Dammit, Bono sure was everywhere following "All That You Can't Leave Behind" (coincidentally led to the downfall of my relationship with U2's music). Ah 2000......Sweet Cutlass, a girlfriend a full foot shorter than me (but I'm 5'11"), Banazek and his Bert pipe, Billy was a new phenomenon to me (I had no idea what a Rage Kage was at this point), Zany Brainy employment, living with little Crapper and Badass, across from Kyle, being 21 finally and a certain household that is responsible for my last four years. The place, 715 Lancaster Ave.

This was my senior year of college, well, 2000-2001. Good ol' LeMoyne. GO DOLPHINS!!! Anyway, the beer tasted sweeter, rent became a fun chore that had not yet been realized until then, I was living on mac and che and hamburger helper, learning how to pay bills, and finally spending the majority of my nights at the house down the street with large men clad in fleece sweatpants to combat their living room temperature. This was 715 Lancaster; complete with a frigid living room capable of keeping 30 packs of 'Stones refreshing, plates with nothing but ketchup (or catsup) and stranded french fries left on them, obvious remnants from Potter, the house's resident hippy, recliners in the reclined position and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band in the stereo. The house had to have about 7 bedrooms in it, let alone the hidden, closet sized bathroom underneath the stairway which featured low slanted ceilings perfect for drunken head resting. The people, why this house was loaded with the most outrageous of characters, some of whom you have heard of, the others, just stories and myths. There was Willie Moe, Javen, our hippy friend Potter, Uncle Jitter during vacations and off season (complete with dog bed), Danny (Pre/Post Relationship Banazek), and Laurie, otherwise known as Bertha. All of 715's inhabitants had graduated from college a year or two before I was set to finish up, either from LeMoyne or Syracuse and I had met all of them at one time or another. Some I worked with, some I met through current friends at the time, but I was destined to fit in amongs them and it was here that the legend of Toasty began.

**Note the spelling of Toasty, the Portuguese spelling with the -ie ending would become official Toastie nomenclature in 2002 following trip to visit Uncle Jitter overseas, where I also broke Harold Arceneaux's lamp while hammered. To request action shot of this historic event, please forward address to Toastedblog.blogspot.com**

Over the year, I found myself hanging out an awful lot with those lovable boys from the other end of Lancaster. At this point of time, I am known only as Casey, which despite what you may have heard Toastedblog fans, is my actual name. Nights were spent at 715 watching sports, drinking heavily, discussing classic TV shows like the Fall Guy, playing drinking games, popcorn ball toss, slugging bottles of Jim Beam, NHL 94, singing Return to Pooh Corner, dang it-ing, drinking more, yelling, and all around tomfoolery. The site of the original greatest weekend ever, home of that years NFL playoff viewing, and I am pretty sure the only place Rhen saw when he visited central NY with Tommy was that living room, it was a great place to just hang out and let three or four days just pass you by without even noticing. One evening, right around the time of March Madness, I was called to head over to watch some basketball and drink all of the Utica Club I could get my hands on. However, a bunch of my housemates decided to hang out on my end of Lancaster, at not quite as good ol' 946 Lancaster. Seeing as how at this point of my collegiate career I had a lady friend who would frequently stay overnight, I opted stay around the house, hang out, have couple beers and play everyone's least favorite drinking game but the easiest to get underway, Asshole. However, I did not let my lovable band of gents at 715 know of my plans, and as they got drunker, they got more irrate. Javen, got so mad, he went to question my whereabouts with a bellowing yell that sounded a bit like this: "WHERE"S TOASTY?!?!?!" The other housemates, looking bewildered, also wondered where this Toasty character was. This would remain unanswered until I entered 715 late that evening all hammered looking for some more drinking. But something was different this time when I walked in the front door. Instead, of being greeted with a hey, or what's up Casey; the name Toasty erupted from the general vicinity of the living room. I didn't know where this came from so I just went along with it. Little did I know it would change my life forever!!!

Since that faithful night, the name Toasty has gone through a ton of makeovers. From the perennial favorites like Toastmaster General and Mayor McToast, weird French versions like Le Toast, made up names like Toaster Toasterson, all the way to the present Toastie, which I think is the tops. Realistically, the nickname has given me an identity that Casey could only dream of. Imagine this site as Caseyblog. You kiddin' me?!?! I'd much rather be Toastie, the lovable Irish scamp, than just plain Casey Cregg. Who wants to read about that?? That's right, no one. Well, no one other than my Dad, he gave me this name. If it were up to my Mom, I would have been Squire Brandon Cregg and thus not be here today because I definitely wouldn't have made it out of High School. Thank God for Pops Cregg right?! So, there you have it, the origin of Toastie. Its not great, but it is all that I've got.