All must complete the following, verbatim.

STEP 1: Get to the grocery store and pick up the necessary items to produce about 42 meatballs for sandwiches. (Don't skimp out on the cheese, when all is said and done, you'll thank me)

STEP 2: Spend a little Q.T. in kitchen on a nice Sunday evening with some rockin' tunes in the background. Whatever beats you choose is entirely up to you. I just put the Ipod on its highly convenient random setting. It is imperative that one keep the dock remote close by so weeding through the garbage that you're too lazy to take off of there can commence.

STEP 3: Put on jammies, set up shop on the couch, and throw in a movie. I went with a rental, "In Bruges", which proved to be pretty good. Not two very enthuastic thumbs up....but I liked it. Any movie that features a midget taking a karate chop from Colin Farrell has to be decent, am I right. Plus, the movie made me kinda want to head out ol' Bruges way, give it a once over.

STEP 4: Reap the dividends of having a shitload of meatball sandwiches ready and willing at your disposal. (Also known as the JACKPOT)

STEP 5: You've done it, you're living the dream. Congrats!

Uh...yeah...so this is me.

Lately I've noticed a recurring trend within the blogging community, from both wildly popular bloggers to itty bitty ones. Bloggers seem to be either coming out and exposing their true identity or going through the ridiculously long amount of time it takes to type out "100 things about me". Well this is the real me, Thunder McAwesome. Nice to meet you. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hit you with some knowledge.

1. I'm fucking awesome.
2. Love Pearl Jam
3. Sandwiches are delicious
4. Kool-Aid is the tops
5. I play rugby
6. Love the Sox
7. Had major reconstructive surgery on my right shoulder leaving me with a bitchin' scar
8. I used to steal piles of chicken wings from Ponderosa by wrapping them in napkins and just walking out.
9. Baseball road trips = Thumbs Up!!
10. Have the uncanny ability to remember song lyrics instantaneously
11. I like "the pot"
12. I majored in History in College....HISTORY?!?!
13. I also minored in Religion, yet I seldom can be found at church (Major Holidays aside)
14. Irish
15. Enjoy eating Spaghetti O's right out of the can.
16. I have no idea how many concerts I've been to (see 11)
17. Hate pretentious assholes
18. and fucking morons
19. and dudes with their collars popped that call me "Brah"
20. I've been kicked out of more bars than you.
21. I have meticulous hand writing
22. I'm fucking 'ilarious!!
23. An expert in the art of grilled cheese making
24. Modeled my style of hockey play after Bruins great Cam Neely.
25. Also why I wore number 8 throughout my hockey career
26. I still wonder why I didn't get drafted following my Senior Year at LeMoyne College.
27. Oh..did you know where I went to college, well now you do, LeMoyne in Upstate NY.
28. Awesome at Trivial Pursuit
29. and Rock & Roll Jeopardy...when it existed.
30. My favorite play in football is the play action pass
31. To aid in my appreciation for all things awesome, my father made me watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" when I was 10
32. I was a finicky eater as a child.
33. I have since seen the err in my ways
34. Have a love and appreciation for cooking as my father started teaching me the ways in my early teens.
35. I can't sing all too well but I love me some karoake
36. My bloodline can be traced to Music Legend, Huey Lewis
37. Oddly enough, my name is neither the Toast, Thunder McAwesome, or even my mom's pick of Squire Brandon. Simply put....it's Casey
38. Don't let the goofiness fool you, this kid is wicked smart when he wants to be
39. Avid golfer with..I'd say, about a 8-10 handicap
40. I like good beer
41. Love every single one of my friends.
42. Even though Kool-Aid will disagree, bumper cars are the way to go at amusement parks
43. Have a fondness for dancing and often search for opportunities to do so.
44. I'm 5'11"
45. My favorite word is pants (try not to laugh when it is said right)
46. I could care less if I impress you or not
47. I can be defensive at times...I've been burned in the past
48. Star Wars Nerd!!
49. Not a fan of tucking in my shirts (aka Business Class Toast)
50. Family has had NY Giants Season Tix since probably about the 50's.
51. I wear T-Shirts...not alligator polos
52. I'd like to live on an island
53. I'd also like to learn how to play the banjo/mandolin
54. BBQ sauce is my dippin' sauce of choice
55. I've broken my right arm twice playing hockey (wrist, radius and ulna in forearm)
56. And the aforementioned shoulder injury, which was a severly torn rotator cuff, was hockey related.
57. Despite having brown hair, when I grow a beard it comes in red
58. While in college, aided in a prank by wallpapering the campus with flyers that advertised a fake film festival known as "Gary Busey Day". Clever huh?
59. All Hot Films...All Gary Busey. or the Buse is Loose!!
60. Created a dance craze that at one point was sweeping the nation..the calculator
61. Often I wear flannel shirts, it's the rocker in me. Weather permitting of course
62. Pompous D.C.'ers can go (expetive deleted) themselves
63. Favorite treat, the white chocolate macadamia nut cookie
64. Saw a game a few rows behind home plate at Fenway. Fuck and Yes!
65. I still have my first material possession, a stuffed raccoon named Rocky
66. Rocky often accompanies me on road trips and currently resides in a bookcase in my living room.
67. My apartment is known as "Fort Awesome".
68. I should be a paleontologist.
68. If I could go back in time, I probably would be
69. My younger brother is far more handsome and much taller than I. (5'11" vs. 6'4")
70. I'm an Uncle
71. My Irish twin sister lives in FL.
72. I've been to Portugal
73. I used to have a convertable.
74. When driving former convertable, I would be seen wearing aviator shades and a cowboy hat.
75. I have a big ribcage
76. and stumpy legs
77. but a pteradactyl like wing span
78. I like to mix ketchup and brown mustard together to make my own secret sauce for fry dippin'
79. I strive for 5 every day (servings of fruits and veggies)
80. Hate cell phones but feel naked when I leave mine at Fort Awesome
81. Feel that "The Big Lebowski" is the best movie in the world
82. Aside from signing my name, I can no longer effectively write in cursive
83. I can laugh at anything..and I often do.
84. I believe in chivalry and I try to prove to Kool-Aid that, at least for her, it is not dead
85. Very fortunate to have a love for music instilled in me by my father at a young age.
86. Have a strong desire to see Rome.
87. Oddly enough, I was extremely shy throughout my childhood until I was a junior in high school. That is when I realized that I really don't care
88. I can speak German
89. I feel bad for my older items when they get replaced by a newer model.
90. Initially I went to school for chemical engineering until I discovered college level calculus.
91. If the situation calls for it, I can communicate entirely in movie quotes. Seldom does this happen.
92. Don't tell Kool-Aid, but I have a huge crush on Tina Fey
93. Although when Kool-Aid wears her glasses.....hmmmm.....
94. I'd like to train to do a triathalon but get turned off of it with the whole swimming thing (and I'm a decent swimmer, I just don't know how to really train for it nor do I want to get kicked in the face)
95. Last time I was kicked in the face I broke a tooth and its remnants had to be yanked. (Damn rugby, damn yous!!)
96. I don't know why, but I can't wear sneakers with shorts, unless I'm working out.
97. Ability to eat chicken wings in one swift motion
98. I may be planning something big here in the relatively near future.
99. Love chipwiches.
100. Whatever situation I am in: meeting parents, interacting with co-workers and higher ups, entertaining guests, conducting training sessions for clients, sitting at a bar having a beer; I'm me, no-one else.

Yup...took as long as I thought.

"Ribs. I had ribs for lunch, that's why I'm doing this."

I stole this from somebody, now I'm givin' it back!!! The idea that is. Ate a bit too much come lunch time here at the office and now I find myself engaging in a little bit of arts and crafts. Eh...its passing the time, pleasing my food baby, and most importantly, keeping my eyes OPEN. Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts when I finally post this summbitch.



More importantly, if you at home ate too much for lunch, are just looking to pass some time in the afternoon, make your new food child happy, or maybe you're just trying to stay awake, you too can be a part of this mad cap and zany fun. It's easy, just go over to the site flickr, create an account if neccesary (takes a second and a half) and type your answers to the following 12 questions one at a time in the search bar.

Once each each picture pops up, simply copy the URL and paste it here, after you set up your mosaic of course. Click create and you've got a project here worth of a gold star from your 4th Grade Art Teacher. Take that Mrs. Collins!! Not so shitty with the papier mache now am I?!?!

Oh right, the questions:

- What is your first name?
- What is your favorite food?
- What high school did you attend?
- What is your favorite color?
- Who is your celebrity crush?
- What is your favorite drink?
- Where would you go on your dream vacation?
- What is your favorite dessert?
- What do you want to be when you grow up?
- What do you love most in life?
- Choose one word to describe you.
- Your Flickr name?

A classic from someone who will most certainly be missed.

Some of the best times I’ve ever had in a car were listening to one of my many George Carlin cds kinda stoned as I drove back and forth to Maryland. Thanks for the laughs George.



George Carlin (1937-2008)

Two words: Fuck and Yes! **UPDATE**

I fucking love Pearl Jam. Simply put, my feelings for the band can be summed up with the following equation: Pearl Jam = wicked awesome. They just flat out rocked us here in the district for well over 3 hours last night. PJ just wasn't out there spinnin' the favorites either and The Toast did not expect to be hit up with some of the beats that filled the Verizon Center Sunday night. So many randoms and even a few B-sides tossed in to boot. "Merkinball"...what?!?! Niice.

Set 1

Hard To Imagine
Severed Hand
Hail Hail
Do The Evolution
Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town
Evacuation
Corduroy
I'm Open
I Am Mine
I Got Id
Daughter
Light Years
Even Flow
Green Disease
You Are
U
Who You Are
Why Go

Encore 1

Comatose
Sad
Given To Fly
Come Back
Grievance
Black
Rearviewmirror


Encore 2

No More
Last Kiss
Crazy Mary
Alive
All Along The Watchtower
Yellow Ledbetter

And Charlie...thanks for stopping by buddy. I love you.

Finally, I get to say it again. Two Words: Fuck and Yes!

We're only hours away from the arrival in the District of one Little Charlie Coville and his special lady friend, and my current BFF, Mary and giddiness has pretty much taken over here at Toastedblog. True, some of it is due to being reunited with my bestest buddy for an entire weekend. I'm also kinda amped for what the weekend has in store for us as DC is getting hit with not only a barbecue cook off but also a brewfest. More importantly though, we've got Mutha-Fuckin' Pearl Jam to boot!!! I just hope they play fuckin' "Inside Job".

It's been a few years since I've gotten the pleasure of seeing a Pearl Jam show. Surprisingly enough they don't head out 'ol Syracuse-way too often. And this time I don't have to drive a few hours in two directions which greatly improves my drunkening chances for the evening. However, that's not what the evening is about so I'm not going to worry too much about it. Just looking forward to seeing the most fucking awesome band on the planet and doing so with one of it's most fucking awesome people. Awwww...for those who know me, what I said is actually kind of sweet.

And now, time to hit y'all with my anticipated set list:

Why Go
Breakerfall
Life Wasted
Army Reserve
Insignificance
Do the Evolution
Red Mosquito
Small Town
Once
Gone
World Wide Suicide
Even Flow
I Believe in Miracles (Ramones Cover)
Bushleager (for the reason that the show's in DC)
Daughter
Smile
I am Mine
State of Love and Trust
Alive
RVM
Keep on Rockin' in the Free World

DAMMIT!!! I didn't work "Inside Job" in there. This is me with my fingers crossed that they did. Oh mama...Charlie, baby-back ribs, better than delicious beers, Mutha Fuckin' Pearl Jam!!! I'M SO HAPPY....I'M SO HAPPY!!!

Fake Cheese = Real Delicious

As you gander above one may notice a rather large shot of a Velveeta Shells and Cheese package prominently displayed on this very Toastedblog post. Reasons for this are three fold:

A. Velveeta Shells and Cheese are fucking delicious
2. I made them last night
and C. The combination of the above, a few hot dogs thrown on the grill, and a root beer proves to be an absolutely exquisite meal.

"C." isn't just for those alone times either. You can do this shit up for any and all occasions. Dinner party of multiple couples?? You may notice that it also comes conveniently in deluxe 12 packs. Romantic evening alone with yo' Kool-Aid?? Just be sure you make some broccoli to go with it and you'll be hittin' the skins in no time at all, quite possibly in response to your wherewithal to whip up a few servings of the creamiest and the dreamiest, Velveeta Shells and Cheese. Hell, if Kool-Aid were to allow it, this stuff shall and will be served at our wedding.

I haven't even touched on the best part of this shit yet. When you're finished puttin' down all dem shells, said eater gets to mop up all of the leftover cheese sauce with whatever you've served it with, case in point, a damn fine Hofmann hot dog. . Oh..Mama is right!

"Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers and warriors."

Not too long ago I heard about a documentary in the works about the good Doctor himself, Hunter S. Thompson, simply titled "Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson". I guess what I'm doing here is just doing my part by making my fine internet audience aware of these awesome goings on. It comes out July 4th. Check it yo!!

View Trailer Here: www.huntersthompsonmovie.com

One...Two...Three....DOOO EEET

Recently I haven't felt like typing all that much; maybe it's due to the fucking heat, maybe it's doing actual work at the office instead of spending multiple hours studying movie quotes or the fantasy baseball free agent wire; I don't think one will ever really know. However, I'm not exactly out there pussy footin' around either, you know, shopping for organic groceries or listening to soft mellow rock. Pbbbt..like who would do that, ridiculous (looks around trying not to be noticed, see below). What I have been doing is what we men like to do, which is, a little TCB...oh yeah, it's taken' care of business. To keep this trend up, a listing of my many manly activities. Whoop Whoop!!

- After 10 months it's finally official, I am a resident of the Commonwealth of Virginia. I now have the license to prove it. BOO-YAH! And what??!!, with the insurance. switching that to VA to boot. TCB my internet friends, TCB. (for you lady readers, the license photo looks damn fine)

- The majority of my recent evenings have involved charring animal flesh over an open flame. And we're not using no whimpy gas grill here neither, takin' my time with that shit, mounds of charcoal covered in lighter fluid. Also, it should be manditory or perhaps instill a By-Law that the actual grilling process be at least 4 beers long. Anything worth doing is worth doing right, that's what I always say.

- I successfully lifted 240 lbs yesterday at the gym. I am ALL that is man.

- Spent an evening checking out Semi-Pro, I kinda wished that I could take that one back. High points, sure it had some, but most points were kinda on the low end. Ouch.

- Fought cancer by running 3.1 miles. (Pay no attention to the fact that Vanessa Carlton was there)

- Followed that up by getting drunk in parking lot prior to rockin'. moe. in VA, WOOOOO!!!!!

**Let it also be known that I am set to travel home for some moe. shows this weekend at the Saranac Brewery. Mo' moe. WOOOO!!!**

- I've realized that the funniest word, other than pants, is probably diapers.

- Drank multiple cans of pabst.

- Eaten approximately 2 dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies since Sunday. Delicious.

- Going to continue this trend this evening while I watch Rocky Balboa, eating various grilled meats, and drinking delcious growler beer while Kool-Aid goes on some work outing.

**Sidenote: I love Trader Joe's and have been listening to a lot of Belle and Sebastian lately....what of it?? You think you're better than me. Have you listened to "Tigermilk"?? It's fucking fantastic!!

G.D. Sun..what with it's giving us life and all.

This kinda made me chuckle as I read it this morning. Philly fans hate Santa, New Yorkers have decided to take it a step further. Yanks fans really are idiots at times. You go to hell...you go to hell and die!! Fucking sun!!

Coco takes no shit from Rays.

Fight
by bsap11

Scenes of last night's brawl at Fenway following Coco Crisp getting plunked in the upper thigh (which is dangerously close to the no-no spot) by Rays pitcher James Shields; which was an obvious reaction Coco trying to send a message to the Tampa Bay infield by sliding hard into second base on an attempted steal the previous night. Also, after you exchange words with the opposing teams manager and you follow it up through the media with this, you gotta have to expect getting thrown at.

Crisp: "I don’t know if he could hear what I was saying, but basically I was saying I did that on my own, don’t punish anyone else on the team. Don’t get Petey (Dustin Pedroia), don’t get (Julio) Lugo, don’t get AC (Alex Cora) sliding hard at second base. Get me with a pitch. If you want to retaliate with somebody, I’m the man."

Baseball...It's faaaaaantastic!

No Power. No Thank You. Why Not Get Drunk. Yes Please!!

Some ass nasty thunderstorms stomped the district yesterday afternoon, really hitting hard at about three o'clock giving the Toast something to break up the afternoon monantany that seems to be hitting my office of late. From what I hear, 60mph winds, fierce rain, and falling trees really do a number on power lines so I was fortunate enough not to have electricity when I happened to make it back to "Fort Awesome" after a rough day of not doing work.

Following a good hour long run through the neighborhood and a nice random trip to target for some new underpants and various essentials (yes, a new copy of "Blazing Saddles" and jumbo bag of delicious trail mix qualify as essentials) I was left fending for myself for a way to pass the electricityless evening. To make matters worse, I was sans Kool-Aid as she was engaged with some co-workers in atrocities of which boyfriends should never have to endure, dunn.dunn.dunnnnn..."Sex and the City". So I did what any other red blooded irishmen would have done in my situation, I hoofed it to the nearest pub and began to tie one on.

I did some good work too. This wasn't your normal Wednesday evening out because there was no power drunk, this Wednesday evening out because of no power drunk had some pinache to it. Why is that you ask?? Because the bar I stopped in at was complete with a Toast fav...karoake. Oh Mama is right!! At about 12:30, after a number of pints, riveting discussion during the Red Wings winning the Stanley Cup, and an unfulfilling bout with some awfully bad nachos, the Toast rocked some Huey Lewis for the oddly large country music contingent at the bar's karoake night and called it an evening; hopefully to a fully operational Fort Awesome.

Had a bit of trouble getting to all cylanders this morning but at least I didn't miss work entirely. Tonight we may get into round two as I visit to a recently discovered brewery in Old Town Alexandria is in the works for some delicious growlers. Oh Mama is right.

How to be a fucking awesome boyfriend.

Sometimes when I think about it, I'm just not really all too sure how I retain a special lady-friend. I mean, I pretty much do a lot of the things that us men-folk are known for: I make her car smell like farts and enjoy getting drunk. I play video games, frequent bars, alehouses, brewpubs, brewerys, rugby practices and drink-ups, the Toast can often be found watching sports or movies with aliens and/or stuff blowing up in them, and I destroy the bathroom following burrito nights; the list can pretty much go on and on.

Well, I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not the sharpest kid out there either. I often have trouble putting two and two together, not to mention that concepts such as proper moments to cross the street seemingly have never said hello to me over the years. I'm fucking awful with money, I went to college to get a degree in History (History!?!?). And forget about me remembering birthdays, anniversarys, your name, as this brain can only seem to retain dynamic knowledge like movie quotes and song lyrics.

But, then I remember that I'm also pretty much the shit and for some reason I get (understand) ladies; Kool-Aid in particular. And why is that you ask....cause I'm funny and I talk to them. Also, it's so blatently obvious to ladies such as the Kool-Aid that I love her and would most likely be lost, cold, confused and frightened without her, like an abandoned puppy. That is why I go out of my why to tell my special lady-friend how important she is to me and how fucking awesome she is; how she is so fantastic out of the sea of the many many female crazies and lunatics out there. It's not my impressive ability to mow down a heaping pile of pulled pork that gives me the title of the Most Fucking Awesome Boyfriend on the Eastern Seaboard, rather, it is because of these two very important facts about the Toast that I kinda get a get a free pass on all of my very many shortcomings. I make her laugh and make myself essential to be around by loving her unconditionally. Plus, I still do a hell of a job just pawing at her like I'm a bear going after a fully stocked cooler.

It is extremely important that I point out the fact that I am not trying to "get away" with anything here. I am not using this love for my girlfriend as a means to get me things like my sandwiches being made for me on a daily basis or the ability to engage myself in a the "Lord of the Rings" marathon on a Sunday afternoon. I don't have the cranial capacity to cook up a hot plot like that. But what I can do is keep my girlfriend smiling and happy and that should keep me free to impress with my keen sense of taking down baby-back ribs, serenading her in the Corolla by singing both the words and guitar parts to "Do the Evolution" by Pearl Jam, and staying in with an entire bucket of original recipie bird and video games for quite some time.

Man, shit was HOT back then.

Oh no, keyboard solo...and the sax, WHAT?!?! Not to mention the fact that it's off an album called "What's Up Dog?". Listen up 'Merica, this is talent.

Top Ten Reasons the Toast won't go see the new "Sex and the City" movie

10. I've probably got some better shit to do.

9. It's highly possible that I'll get chlamydia just from watching it, what with all the many many sexual partners that the one really old and slutty character has had. Oddly enough, Kim Cattrall may be the best looking one out of the lot.

8. I get extremely whiny and pissy whenever Kool-Aid stops on a random syndicated episode while flipping through the channels. I tell myself I don't really want to act this way in her defense, I mean, she does enjoy the show and she often lets me do the things that I would like to do, especially when it comes to deciding what we watch on T.V. All that being said, read the first part of reason no. 8 again; what makes her think that a solid two plus hour chunk will be any different??

7. It's not "Die Hard".

6. Subsequent theater combustion upon my entering from being too man-tastic thus canceling all anticipated and scheduled viewings until building is repaired. By then, it won't be in theaters anymore. (Sweet)

5. Why would I want to when I could just go see new Indiana Jones movie instead. Niiice.

4. "Band of Brothers" is probably on the History Channel.

3. I've got the baseball package on Comcast.

2. None of the following are likely to be found in the movie: explosions, machine gun fire, high speed car chases, hilarity, sports montages, eagerly anticipated female nudity, Nicholas Cage, high octane action, precise battle formations, swordplay, tanks, cheerleaders, women being reasonable, awesome scenes, cars or helicopters turning into fighting robots.

Nor will it feature kick-ass shit like this:

yeah!

1. I recently found out that Kool-Aid is going with some of her work friends.

/does fist pump