Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I call it Friday Night Sissy Fights!

Happy New Year Toastedblog faithful!! So, you may be asking; Toast, how was your New Year's?? Well, the title serves as a lead in to last Friday's events. OK, let me explain. The Toast has not turned the gay (not that there is anything wrong with it) so don't get started thinking about that. He still likes the ladies!! And I didn't get in a fight with a gay man, or a woman for that matter. The title is full of symbolism for my evening, a metaphor if you will. It is supposed to describe my impending battle to control myself with an endless supply of liquor at arm's reach. I'm just kidding. But seriously, that really happened. All right, time for the show. Enjoy the show....enjoy the show.

So, New Year's Eve involved performing a tremendous feat of strength, but would the Toast be up for it. I went to Coleman's where they had a special for New Year's customers; purchase a bracelet for $45, get all you can drink beer, mixed drinks, all the good stuff; plus some apps. Since I decided to take them up on this offer, it was my goal to get my money's worth of booze while remaining semi coherent and generally likeable to be around. How could I control myself with all of this temptation at my finger tips? Why, I know, lets order white russians, Jack and cokes, and Long Island iced teas all night. Better yet, every time you order one for yourself, you better get a beer to go along with it. It only seems right and in a sense, you are cutting down on wait time for your next round, because you already have it. Believe it or not this plan did not go as originally intended. Did I get my money's worth of booze?? You better believe it. As a matter of fact, everyone I ran into at least got one free drink from me, if not more. Did I remain semi coherent?? I prefer not to answer that one right now. Was I generally likeable to be around? Hell yes!! Everyone loves the drunk Toast. Especially when it is the drunk Toast who dances with random people for no reason whatsoever, yells real loud, shows even more Reverse Dang It goofiness than can be imagined, and is visibly struggling to put sentences together. It had been a long time since I had been out and primarily drank liquor. I was absolutely hammered so my valiant effort to not to get uber-bombed failed miserably. I shouldn't say that because the ultimate outcome was pretty good, and I did get to spend the following day lying around in jammy jams watching movies and eating spaghetti-O's. Always the ones with hotdogs, always!! That is unless they are knights and castles shaped, then meatballs are acceptable. I certainly hope Franco-American relations never break down for the chance of having Spaghetti-O's discontinued strikes fear in the very heart of me. What am I talking about?? Dang It!!

The weekend was not crazy at all, not too much happened. Aside from New Years, a Saturday filled with movies, video games, college football and a hungover Toast. On Sunday I slept in mucho time-o and found myself being woken up to the wonderful sounds of Careless Whisper, or in other words, my cell phone was ringing. Good friend, fellow poor free throw shooter, rugby buddy, and Steeler fan Army Matt gave me a call to stop on by for some beers and football watching. At this point I had just woke up, it is currently 12:42 pm. I never sleep that late. Anywho, I head over to Matt's with a 12 pack of Blue where he throws out a delightful Phelps-esque spread of food for his guests. We're talkin' pulled pork that he smoked himself, spinach and artichoke dip, and homemade chicken wings (buffalo and some garlic italian dressing Concoction). All of which proved to be pretty tasty. What proved to be no dice was the Toast supported Bills losing to a Second string led Steeler squad. After a few hours of eating and drinking I decide to head home for I am en route to meet up with some work people at the Blarney Stone for some time out due to a no work Monday for the Toast. This proves to be rather interesting for only one person showed up besides myself, that being Rachael, one of the ladies who is around my age in my office. (my office is predominately female, half around my age, other half got Toast beat) I have yet to find out if this was just some womanly work to get us "hooked up" or if the others just couldn't make it as they say. Not that I know why they would do that, I just have had this suspicion that something was up. Besides, there is nothing there so why am I rambling on about this. Anyway, I sit and have a few drinks, B-Rad (is he still dating Wreckin' Ball) shows up about a half hour after I do and joins me while we watch the mighty Eli Manning take on the Ageless Vinny Testaverde. Eli looked good. He looked Toast good, and we all know that's some good ass shit!! True, the Giants lost 8 out of their last 9 but Eli is at least making strides in showing some improvement and learning the NFL game. Because of this I am getting more and more amped for next season because I think he is going to be a heck of a quarterback. B-Rad would say otherwise, but what does he know about Eli. He's wrong I tell you. However we can put that on hold for now for this is playoff time. You know what that means. More on this to come in the following paragraph.

Playoffs??!! That's right baby, and do you know what I propose??? Get your asses to the humble abode of the Toast!! Or, we may just have to go to Billy's. Basically, we all need to find a place to camp out for the majority of the day, while drinking and eating. I feel that some of the Toast's tremendously tasty chili (call it Triple T if you want) may have to make an appearance. Is Phelps back; cheesy bacon biscuits? Casey-dillas?? Willie Moe has informed me that he currently owns a quesadilla maker. We only have a half a week to get moving on this. They may not live up to the original greatest weekend ever, but we can do some damage I think. Four words, return of the kegorator!! Think about it.

What else up Toastedblog audience??? I'm not too sure. Been kinda laid back of late. As some of you may know Christmas has made it difficult for the Toast to spend money so maybe that has something to do with little activity. Tonight I get to go to Manley Field House for another one of those lovable off season rugby workouts. A lot of crazy running, no thank you. Meeting team Bo-Hall for a few beers, a roast beef sandwich, and some awesome trivia, Yes Please!! Don't worry my fellow teammates, this is the only week in which rugby falls on a Wednesday for next week and there after my Toasted Mondays will be spent running. So I apologize for any inconvenience Team Bo Hall.

Guess what, I have a hockey game tomorrow too. Been looking forward to this for over a week for there were no games last week. BLAST!! We lost our last game 5-3 and from what I've seen we aren't too bad, but there is the occasional kid who won't pass the puck, constantly shoot even though his shot is awful, and stays out for 5 minute shifts while the rest of us are out there 45 seconds; but what are you going to do. Hopefully the Underdogs can do something tomorrow night because I am getting a little bit upset!!! I know Billy will like that.

1 comment:

Ban-dingo said...

I miss drunken incoherent Toasty, especially the drunken incoherent Toasty who would stand at the kegerator in his coat and shoes and fill his glass, slam it and repeat at least three times, before head ing out of the house for the evening. (The secret was to always repeat.)