Good Morning Kids. Well..the Toast has the Passat all packed with Rocky in tow (my stuffed Raccoon/first material possession who often accompanies me on road trips) and is heading South for a few days to spend Christmas at my sister's in Jacksonville, FL. It's going to be a bit weird spending the Holidays in 80 degree weather and on a beach but I think I'll get by. What might be even weirder is the outcome of us Cregg's getting together as the next few days marks the first time in about 5 years or so that my entire "nuclear" family will be together, in the same room. My mother flew down from Chigago, my father is flying down from back home in Syracuse today, my brother has been living down in Jacksonville for the past few months and my sister, well she's lived there for quite a bit now. Given my parents' affinity to not get along, and the past that I've had with my mother, this could be interesting, however, I think we'll get into the spirit of Holiday without the aid of too much alcohol. I know we're Irish, but the fact that Callan, my 8 month old nephew, is experiencing his first Christmas well that should hopefully be enough to get us Cregg's in the mood to be around each other with little to no issues.
All that thrown out at you, I am looking forward to this a bit. I mean, the first time in 5 years, that's a little ridiculous if you ask me. Plus I am eagerly awaiting spending time with my rather large little brother, its been too long since we've gotten together as well. So there it is, 5 days in sunny Florida with the family over Christmas. Good times, good times. If I don't get back at ya, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and the Toast here will catch ya soon. I'm out!!!
Sweet sassy molassy; get out the checkbook and pay grandma for the rubdown. For the second consecutive week, I was forced to stay up late on a Sunday night to watch the Giants. This time, my team didn't look like a collective ball of ineptitude. I should rephrase that, for one half and an overtime period they didn't look like a collective ball of ineptitude.
Last night, the Giants decided to stick with their game plan which was the following: "we're going to run the ball down your throat; come try and stop us". Even when down 21 to 10 and the game looked like it was starting to get away from them as the Panthers had scored touchdowns on their first three possessions, the Giants stayed in character as a running team and with that plan set in motion they ran to the tune of over 300 yards as a team ultimately beating the Panthers in overtime, 34-28.
Now, while I realize that the outcome of this game could have been a whole hell of a lot different had John Kasay nailed his attemted 50 yard field goal with 9 seconds remaining but it certainly is nice to see the Giants regain a bit of their swagger. The difference maker for this team simply put, is Brandon Jacobs. When you have the power to pound a defense and run through a stacked 8 man defensive front, it just opens everything else up. True, the team does miss Plaxico and his ability to draw coverage, but Jacobs is all energy, power, and anger rising, and this is something that the team needs and gets with him in the lineup.
While Jacobs was the back that brought the much needed energy to the entire Giants Offense (i.e. Shockey's role but without the bitching and all the dropped balls), the man who really benefited from Jacobs being back in the lineup was Derrick Ward. The past few weeks with Jacobs on the sidelines, Ward was the featured back and without Jacobs's punishing runs wearing down the Defense, Ward almost looked a step slower. Last night was the exact opposite. Jacobs ran for 80 something tough yards and three touchdowns and Ward was able to hit every hole the Offensive Line created hard and was in the secondary before the Panthers Front 7/8 often knew what was going on out there. Hell, he had runs of 34, 22, 37, 51, 14, and 17 yards last night, the majority of which were in the Second Half when he tends to do most of his damage as a change of pace back.
I'm just glad that the Giants remembered how they are capable of playing and despite all the team has endured the last few weeks, they were able to step up and play when it mattered. They may not be in the same place as they were earlier in the season, and as mentioned this win did come down to a missed field goal in the closing seconds, but this team set out to do something last night (run the ball) and I guess 300+ yards, well that means they succeeded. You know what I always say: "In my book, you gotta get to White Castle before the weirdos show up."
The various teams here at the office have specifically gone out of their way to decorate their respective areas in the spirit of Christmas. In another spirit, competition, some sort of prize, or treat, is being promised to the team with the best/most original decoration. In his continuing effort to buck the norm, the Toast has done his own part.
"FESTIVUS IS BACK!! I'll go get the pole from the crawl space."
That's right internet audience. The Toast here has the pole up and ready. The beauty here is all in it's subtlety. While most folks at the work place have Christmas cutouts all over the walls, file cabinets wrapped up like giant gifts, and that distracting tinsel all to and fro, I sit with an aluminum pole set up outside my office, a sign on the wall that says "Festivus Yes! Bagels No!", and a clip board to list "the airing of grievances". If I don't win something here, I'm calling shenanigans.
Happy Festivus Everyone!! We still have a few days till the actual Holiday is upon us but if its not worth starting to celebrate now, I don't want to be a part of it.
Not gonna lie to you internet audience, the Toast here flies by the seat of his pants. He walks to the beat of his own drum. More importantly, the Toast is an ever evolving mantastic mass of awesomeness that seems to know no bounds.
Now, while all of this is quite fantastically awesome in it's own right, the Toast is certainly not without his share of flaws. I mean, I. I am certainly not without my share of flaws. One of my more potent flaws just happens to be, I can take forever when it comes to gettin' around to shit. This is just something I have struggled with my whole life. I'm not really talking about imperative shit mind you, its more things that are suggested to this fella to check out. Sometimes, I'm all over it like my buddy Willie Moe and bitterness. Other times, I just file these suggestions under "eh..I'll get to them later" and rarely do they ever come to light. It's quite sad really, as my friends are taking their time to share things with me that they value, and I just shrug them off like I do with other suggestions such as obeying local traffic laws, proper golf ettiquette, and clothing requirements while in public. Let's just see you try to not serve me just 'cause I'm only in underpants; I want an ham, egg, and cheese on a pumpernickel bagel dammit. This no pants thing is just trivial horse hockey. For the birds I tells you, for the G.D. birds.
So, get on with it you say. Stop the stalling?? Eh, I suppose you're right. Well, picking up where I left off, I've been trying to get to a few of these suggestions that people have thrown my way and I'm not gonna lie to you, most of them revolve around various forms of entertainment to check out. Where this post goes from here is telling you folks at home some of the nonsense that I am getting myself into of late and why it kicks so much ass. You know what, I need to start listening to my friends more often. Who knew they liked so much cool shit?!?!
Uncle Tupelo
Originally, I think I was told to check out Uncle Tupelo on the way back from a baseball road trip by good pal Dunford as we had Wilco's "A Ghost is Born" playing as we trekked back towards Central NY. You know what, this was like almost 5 years ago. Since then, numerous friends, many from the same social circle (Danny, Javen, Billy Ball, I'm looking at you here) have suggested to me the very same thing. "Oh Toastie, you need to listen to Uncle Tupelo, they the shit. Jeff Tweedy used to be in them before Wilco." My response was always the same" "Aw..sweet, I really should look into that." Instead, do you know what I did, ignore it and fucking deal with the same shit that I've been listening to for-fucking-ever. What an asshole I am. Or was. Whatever.
Now, what really blows my mind is the fact that I've been a Wilco fan for quite some time, quite some time before Tupelo was lobbed my way like a slow pitch softball, one that I should have crushed out of the park and been jamming to ever since. Instead, I ignored this advice for years, never getting around to picking up an album. What's even worse is that I didn't give my friend's a fair shake and chose to listen to others to find new music. Hell, I downloaded a shitload of The Mars Volta because some random told me they jammed like crazy years before I finally went out and got "Anodyne", which was just a few weeks ago. You ever listen to The Mars Volta?? Eh, it's interesting, but kickass it unfortunately is not. You know what is kickass by the way?? I think you folks can tell where this is going. Mmmm..drink it in, that Alt-Country always goes down smooth.
Watchmen
By now, a lot of you have probably seen the following preview.
Some of you are probably saying: "Jebus, another comic book movie?? I'm not sure if I can take a chance on another one, especially after those Fantastic Four movies sucked balls."
You best pump your breaks!! Currently, I am reading the graphic novel that inspired what is probably going to be the most awesome movie that I've ever seen. Yup, the book is that good. So, the point I am trying to make is, why the hell did I take so long to read this summbitch??? For years, friends have tried to appeal to the uber-dork in me. You know, the one that read comic books. My trying to figure out what this movie was all about was what recently caused me to finally go out and pick it up. This was definitely not a mistake, not in the least. If you need my endorsement to check out Watchmen, well then you've officially gotten the green light. It really is that awesome!! Blew me away I can tell yous.
Quick Sidenote: You gotta love "Take A Bow" by Muse in that trailer. Man, Muse is the tops!! Get hit with the whole tune below. BOO-YAH!!!
Sugar Snap Peas
I don't like peas. Never have, probably never will. This stems from my childhood days on a night when my Aunt Mary was babysitting my sister, brother, and I. I don't know, had to be about 4. During dinner, I was told to finish my peas. I objected claiming that I would throw up if I did. I was then forced to finish said peas. I then threw up. Since, I have never eaten a pea. Any dish that I was served from that moment on that had peas in it, I would take upwards of a half hour picking out every single cold and mushy pea. Do you have any idea of the patience necessary to pick peas out of Tuna Noodle Casserole?? I might as well have been a priest.
Anywho, just recently I have started buying up these Green Giant frozen, boil in the bag, steam in the bag, what-have-you vegetables as I'm looking to clean house following an extended period of not working out so hard/playing rugby due to an injured back. These little things are delicious. At about one Toastie sized serving per small package, they are great for a quick meal when getting back from the gym, heating up for work lunches, or just to add a quick shot of some good for you shit to any meal. One particular type of these little beauties has potato wedges, red peppers, and a whole mess of sugar snap peas. I was first a little wayward when I decided to pick it up from my local grocer's freezer. But, I remembered, I used to not like a lot of things, why not give this a shot??
These little sons of bitches are delicious. They're sweet and crisp; and they have this good sauce on them sometimes. You can even just put some pepper on them and go to town...in a healthy way. Folks, that ain't bad!!
So there you have it, and that's just a taste of what this kid has been finally following through on. Sorry that its been a while since a real post kids. Things are busy on this end. But don't worry, Uncle Toastie hasn't forgotten about you. Take 'er easy folks, I'm out for now!!
Now I don't watch Saturday Night Live, nor have I ever seen "Hot Rod" or "Space Chimps" (not that I ever will) but this Samberg guy pops up every now and then and what I'm left with is something that's actually pretty damn funny. Makes me wonder what's going on the rest of the time.
Just let me rant here; vent if you will. The past few days of coming into work have been a little bit awkward and frankly, just plain depressing. Like many companies, mine is finding that the current state of the economy is causing the whole being successful and making money thing to be just a tad bit difficult. To deal with this, my company has decreased goals a bit and, more importantly, attempted to cut overhead. What is the easiest way to do that internet audience?? You guessed it, to cut jobs, which is what happened here at my office last Wednesday.
So, not gonna lie to you, things since are on edge here at the workplace, even though the rest of us have been told that we're safe. But the fact remains, once a few jobs and a bit of overhead has been chopped, what happens in six months when the economy continues to struggle?? My team had our weekly meeting this morning and it was as negative an atmosphere that I've been a part of in quite a while. I tried to do my best to bring some bright spots and energy in but that was quickly squashed by the negative attitudes that joined me in the room.
It's just such a difficult scenario to work in and I guess all that I am trying to do is go out and make it known, even if it is just me spitting out some of the random on this here blog. After my two hour morning meeting of shit, I just wanted to put on my coat, put my laptop in my bag, and hit the bricks. To be honest, I still want to do that as the expressions of every one's face around me clearly demonstrates where their mind is at. Maybe tomorrow will be different, but the empty offices around me suggest that it may very well take a little while for things to get normal-esque again. Oh well, at least "The Dark Knight" comes out tomorrow. That shit was the shit!!
It's fucking Friday already?!?! When did this happen?!?! The week is over?!?! Well nobody told me!! How am I supposed to keep things straight when I have no idea what day it is?!?! What was that you said?? It's not even November any more?!?! I gotta pump the breaks here, at least take a knee for a quick breather.
This mid-week Eagles of Death Metal tribute has got to stop...or does it?? My reaction when I first saw this video a couple years back was priceless, especially when Hughes starts solo-ing for the first time with the girl in the motel room. Damn that sexy!!
"Woooooo!!" Gotta love the Eagles of Death Metal I tells ya. "Boots Electric" and "Baby Duck"!! "The Devil" and "Carlo Von Sexron"!! Whatever alias you want to call them Jesse Hughes and Queens of the Stone Age's own Josh Homme have booty shaking, psychedelic, glam rock down pat. While back home over the holiday weekend I met up and had a few beers with "Karate" Jim, a fellow EODM fan, and their latest album "Heart On". I had yet to pick it up and pretty much freaked on me. Needless to say I got my hands on it the other day and have been gettin' down with the getdown ever since. As Hughes puts it, "Heart On" is:
"EODM's latest fabulous weapon, a top-secret music missile, a sonic warhead sexually tipped for her pleasure, shot from the deck of USS EODM Mantastic Fantastic."
Well, it sure is hard to come up with an arguement to tackle all that. "Karate" Jim was right to freak on me as this album is vintage dude rock wrapped up with a little bit of sexy. Oddly enough, I actually had the opportunity to see EODM recently as they were in the District about a month ago. The reason why I say "opportunity" back there rather than refer to "that kickass time I saw the Eagles of Death Metal"?? It was a Wednesday night show. Great Caesar's Ghost I'm sad. That night, I was probably in my jammies by ten instead of groovin' and shakin' to some sweet booty rock.
Now, unfortunately I had some difficulty in obtaining a real video of some of their tunes off this new album so you can see EODM in all their tight pants wearing glory. That being said, some genius found a way around this and put something up on youtube, of which you will see some examples below. Both are pretty choice and so far are my tops for the album!! Now come get a taste of some of this hot stuff comin' through. Ooh!!
Well, the still to be named Passat is all packed up and the Toast is scheduled to get the hell out of Dodge with a certain Kool-Aid for a few days. The destination?? Why, back home to Syracuse of course for Thanksgiving with Pa Cregg and a little bit of goings on with the boys back home for a few days. Anticipated time of arrival in Central New York in the 6pm-7pm range, or Beer-Thirty if you want to get technical about it. So far my plan is to drive a shitload of miles at high speeds so I can meet up with a few buddies for some highly anticipated Labatts, a Blarney Burger, and the Bruins v. Sabres game which the opening face-off just happens to coincide with a certain Beer-Thirty and a certain Toast arrival. Hmmm, it's as if it were planned??
Enjoy your Turkey Day peoples!! I can tell you that I'm looking forward to it something fierce!!
VALUED AT $17,500; WILL SELL AT $2,000; WEIGHT APPROX, 175 LBS; WAS USED AS A LINE THROWER TO TRAVERSE RIVERS AND CLIFFS DURING THE CIVIL WAR; GREAT COLLECTORS PIECE; FANTASTIC CONVERSATIONAL PIECE
Man, I can't wait for the days when I can just sit around with a group of people and just bring up my breathtaking conversation piece, a Civil War era cannon. This craigslist ad was found in my email this morning as a certain Kool-Aid decided that it was of utmost importance that I discover this unique opportunity. Frankly, I don't see a way around my obtaining this highly interesting relic.
I mean, for me, to own a piece of American History that is a brilliant conversation starter is almost daily priority number one. Screw that going to work shit. Cleaning one's self, who needs it? Not when I can talk about my cannon. Did you know that this very cannon was used as a line thrower to traverse rivers and cliffs during an Epic War in our Nation's History, the Civil War??
How much did you pay for that cannon?? Well, I'm not going to tell you that. That's my little secret. But, what I can tell you is that it as been appraised for over $17,500. What's that you ask?? How much does such a fantastic historical specimen weigh? Well, it currently scales at approximately 175 lbs. That weight just screams authenticity.
And, if you were desperately searching for a new hobby, were you aware that this very authentic antique 1864 Civil War cannon is also a great collectors piece. Finally, all you cannon collectors can complete the set by obtaining the highly elusive 1864 Line Thrower model. Forget about this thing being obtrusive and you need not worry if you are unsure of where to display such a spanking historical artifact. Your 1864 Civil War cannon will tie together any room with its heavy iron-ness and its authentic Civil War cannon-oscity. It just begs for attention. Look at me. See how I shine?? Note that sparkle?? I'm a fucking big ass cannon and I'm sitting here in this jackass's living room for some reason that only this goofy bastard knows about. And why the hell does he have a giant globe in here and a fake marlin on the wall??
In any event, the reason this cannon was brought to my attention is the simple fact that two folks you all should hold dear are currently on the lookout for some more furniture. You see, my beloved apartment, Fort Awesome, is changing street addresses. That's right, Kool-Aid and I are moving. Not far might I add, and to quite the larger place. I'm going to have stairs. You hear that, STAIRS!!! Gone will be the days of the cozy little apartment with a den whose doorway is too narrow to fit a kickass recliner through it's gates. I'm going to have my own living room in a furnished basement for uber manly and definitely non-dorky video game playing to boot. I'll be able to fit a fleet of recliners in that summbitch.
Most importantly though, our new rowhome will allow us to get a dog, something that we've been putting off due to the time it currently takes us to get back and forth to work. Let the "Gary" acquisition commence at year's end people, as we are set to move in January. "Gary" just better make sure he doesn't confuse my new cannon with his toilet. He'll be in a world of hurt if that thing depriciates in value. What on earth would my friends think??
After two long years of renovations the National Museum of American History has finally reopened and guess who's been looking forward to this day for weeks?? First thing tomorrow morning Kool-Aid and I are planning on hitting this thing up for some sweet sweet history experiencin'. I'll probably even go to bed early tonight. Jesus Christ I'm hella lame. Adventure. Excitement. The Toast craves not these things.
When I look back at my 29 years of rompin' and stompin' in this world, there are many things that stand out in the forefront of the ol' noggin. Some extremely entertaining, some a tad bit heartbreaking. Other's hilarious or quite painful. The first Pearl Jam show, playing street hockey every spare moment with my brother growing up in the cold Syracuse winters, my parents getting divorced, destroying my shoulder in High School, going to Giants games with my Grandfather, the first day I wore those short rugby shorts (white Irish Catholic thighs ablaze), that time when I built a half-pipe with some friends and my brother laughed at me when I took a massive digger on my first attempt which resulted in my chasing him down and throwing him through a neighbor's door and into their home where he would be yelled at by the kid's vacuum cleaning mother while trying to catch his breath after getting knocked into the corner of a table. Honestly, with the way that I drink I am surprised that some of those are still sticking around.
But there is one very underrated memory that kind of popped in my head the other day and caused me to develop this post for you my internet audience on this Tuesday. What is it you ask?? The infamous, never duplicated, surprisingly subtle, Sandwich Party.
The renowned tale of lore that is, the story behind the Sandwich Party, is not an impressive one. Not at all. Basically, the Sandwich Party consisted of Senior in College Toast and good friend Willie Moe, buying various pounds of deli meat on a Sunday, drinking and watching movies/playing video games and eating sandwiches every hour on the hour while wearing fleece sweatpants. That's it, really; it sounds trivial I know, but it was oh so sweet. You weren't there, you have NO IDEA!!
Now, while the memory of this sandwich party will always stick with me for some odd reason, most likely as a random thing to joke about amongst friends, why it was brought up was to demonstrate sandwiches being my favorite, and thus ending this terribly long introduction and getting to the real subject of this train wreck post. I have decided to end my ever so long internal debate and crown one sandwich, and one sandwich alone, as my favorite. The World's Best Sandwich if you will.
Now, after careful consideration and lots of blind luck, I have come up with a list of tasty sandwiches all worthy of participating in this little competish. If I were computer savvy enough, I'd find a way to get this in some sort of bracket format but I've given up on trying. Instead I have devised a highly technical system to rank said sandwiches. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you. Sandwich Rank-Bot 3000.
Sandwich Rank-Bot 3000 will carefully judge and rank sandwiches according to four extremely important categories. Below is Sandwich Rank-Bot 3000's highly elaborate ranking system.
Deliciousness, that's easy and straight to the point. Convenience factor, now things get a little interesting. How much effort goes into acquiring said sandwich?? What do you have to go through to get it? Where do you have to go?? DO you even have to leave the house?? Would you/can you bring them for work lunch?? All of these questions are terribly important when it comes to ranking a sandwich. Next we have the sandwich filling category, not gonna lie to you, but this counts, A-LOT. So, how awesome are the contents of your tasty treat?? Is the combination of meats too much?? Finally, we get to the aftermath of delicious sandwich consumption. Frankly put, what's gonna happen to you later after taking this guy down. Good?? Bad?? Indifferent?? Sandwich Rank-Bot 3000 will let us know.
I really love me some cheese steaks. Only problem is, they tear me up if you know what I mean. Well, two problems if you count that finding a really good one is kinda difficult, unless you live in Philadelphia which sadly I do not. I'm sorry, steak-ums don't count. Steak-ums are for the birds.
So good. So very good!! However, do you have time to smoke a 8lb pork butt?? Of course you fucking don't!! Who would?? If we had that kind of time we'd be eating delicious smoked meats slathered with bar-be-que sauce all the time. Instead, you know what I had for lunch?? Processed deli turkey with mustard on Dark German Wheat Bread. Ugh. Sure it's good for you but a heaping pile of delicious pork it is not.
Now we're talkin'!! Right here you'll find this little project's big winner. To me, it doesn't get any better than the leftover turkey sandwich. White meat, dark meat, you just can't lose. You can have 'em hot by smothering dem summbitches with gravy. You can just put mayo on it and shove it between a few slices of bread. Hey, why don't you take some of that leftover stuffing that but that on there as well. Better yet, throw some gravy on it too, just to give it some extra panache. It's only downside, you either have to prepare an entire 15 lb turkey to reap the dividends or depending on what you're family enjoys for the holidays, you'll pretty much only have two opportunities to enjoy one of these beauties. Plus, you get the added bonus of taking a nap (tryptophan) and those oh so enjoyable turkey farts!!
I rate buffalo flavored items the following: Wings, Pizza, Nachos, Sandwich. I really have no explanation. I just prefer wings. There, I said it!!
Grilled Charlie "Do NOT put peanut butter on that!! NO!! A Grilled Charlie has peanut butter last!! Peanut butter outside, chocolate inside, butter inside, cheese outside."
One of the funniest things about Manwich is the fact that when I first starting dating Kool-Aid, her roommate Matt decided to make this for a party that they were having and by the end of the night not one individual decided to indulge in all of its mantastic glory. I can only imagine the reaction by these people when they first saw it, just sitting there in a skillet. "Uh...is that Manwich??" I think all guests thought that someone had made it earlier in the day and just decided not to clean up, it's the only explanation. To me, this stuff is delicious. I like to hollow out the top part of the bun so that it holds in even more awesome Manwich, like a Manwich pocket. Kool-Aid refuses to allow me to make this at home. Sigh..
Arby's is awesome, that's all I'll say. It is the only fast food that I'll eat. Something about the concoction that is Horsey's sauce combined with Arby's Sauce that turns a regular roast beef sandwich into utter deliciousness. Still, with an Arby's pretty much on every corner, it's got that convenience factor all but pegged doesn't it. However, it's still Arby's and no matter how good it tastes, it is a sandwich that quite possibly isn't real at all. How can a sandwich that costs $2.99 win this thing. It can't, that's how!
Reuben's are just a classic sandwich. No varying on things here though, and that's gonna cost it a few points overall. Enjoyable, you betcha!!! The Tops??? Eh, not so much. Sorry there little fella. I still do find you quite tasty what with you're delicious corned beef, swiss cheese, rye bread and sauerkraut. All it's good points though, I can't make them well at home. I fuck it up somehow, every single time. I have no explanation but they always come out like a pile of hot garbage that tastes not nearly as good as I envisioned it would. So, that means, I have to go out to get them whenever a reuben is in the cards for the Toast and 50% of the time that'll hurt your chances every time.
I was first introduced to Italian Style Beef Sandwiches on a random visit out to see my mother in Chicago a number of years ago. We had gone to a restaurant called Portillos that featured these summbitches. Now, I have found recipes that allow me to make these on my own, the only thing is that the entire process is a bit of a hassle. Who has time to cook meat for a few hours, refrigerate it, slice it as thin as humanly possible, heat it up in a pot of its own delicious natural juices, and then enjoy. Mind you, I have had the time in the past, but not often enough to give it top billing. Explaining the aftermath is easy.
Oddly enough the Chipwich rounds out with the top score out of all these awesome and stomach busting sammiches. Note that the Chipwich is indeed a sandwich, it's in the name godammit!! It is found that the Toast will do extreme amounts of manual labor for no other payment than a chipwich. Move you cross country, you'll owe me a chipwich. Need help getting that couch upstairs, it'll cost you a chipwich. Be your wingman for an evening, that'll run you about a chipwich or two. See how that works.
The Blarney Burger is named after my favorite bar in my old stomping grounds, Tipperary Hill, a predominantly Irish neighborhood in my hometown of Syracuse, NY. The Blarney Stone ran a special every Wednesday night that featured the Blarney Burger, a half lb burger with the works, and a side of fires for $4.50. It should be noted that the Blarney Burger should not count as it is indeed not a sandwich and I no longer live in this neighborhood/within NY State boundaries thus plummeting the burger's convenience to an all-time low score of -2. Also, it is a sleeping pill under the clever guise of a delicious burger. Under all circumstances, one should not consume an entire Blarney Burger and A. attempt to operate heavy machinery, and B. try to hang out, drink, and score ladies as this is a recipe for bad news. Please be advised, stand fast for late night jail breaks.
A very underrated sandwich in it's own right. That's the problem, I never think to make them. In college, they would have them at the cafeteria cut in half just ready for the taking. And I wonder how I got over 200 lbs first semester sophomore year when I broke my arm in the first practice and wasn't playing hockey but instead just eating these fucking things all the goddamn time. Seriously, I'd pile like 5 sandwiches all together on one plate and a bowl of soup and just go to town. Realistically, they are a top 5 sandwich, no matter how you slice it. HA!! Get it??
Meatball Sub Deliciousness: 4.5 Convenience: 2.5 Filling: 5 (they're fucking meatballs, of course they're delicious!!) Aftermath: 3.5
These only really count if you make the meatballs from scratch, or they're from your Italian Grandmother's recipe. I'm wicked Irish, like full blown. I don't have the luxury of a Grandmother's recipe. We boil our meats, not cover them in delicious sauce. Cheese....don't even get me started. We have no idea what cheese is or if it actually exists, unless its made from a goat or sheep, or something like that and that kind of cheese doesn't even hold a candle to shit like mozzarella.
Pa Cregg's Breakfast Sandwich Deliciousness: 4 Convenience: 4 (if you can fry up bacon, then you can make this summbitch) Filling: 4.5 (for ingenuity) Aftermath: 3 (sooo greasy)
My Dad, god bless him, made up this sandwich before I was even born and whenever we'd have family breakfasts he'd make these things up...for himself!! Okay okay okay okay, occasionally we'd have them too. These get the Toast stamp of approval so when you have the time, take a moment and make them yourself. Basically, just make an English muffin, slather that summbitch with peanut butter (I prefer chunky), throw some bacon on it, smoosh it together, and eat. Awfully tasty. Downside...may cause a heart attack.
Monte Cristo Deliciousness: 4.5 Convenience: 0
You know what, I'm not gonna write anymore about a sandwich that you have to make french toast before you can enjoy it. FUCK and NO!!
Well, that is pretty much it. I mean, I can get into your sandwich staples like chicken salad, ham and cheese, tuna melts (so fucking good except you have to make tuna and that smells up the kitchen), and chicken pitas but I have to get to work at some point. And, I guess I'll leave you with the following. It's been in my head the past few days, hence the picture. Hilarious I tells you!!! HILL-LARIOUS!!
Last night the Toast here trekked to a Borders in nearby Tysons Corners, VA for a book reading of "Men With Balls" by KSK Co-Founder and Deadspin Contributor Drew Magary. For those in the know, it was just as awesome as it sounds!!!
Drew, I can't really bring myself to call him by his blogging surname of Big Daddy Drew, basically read a few passages from his book, answered some questions, met and shook hands with everyone that showed up, chatted away for about a half hour, and then hit the bar with his fans in tow. It was, just as I expected it to be; low key, cordial, hilarious, and genuine all topped off with delicious alcohol. Realistically, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Well, I guess the book reading/signing could just have easily taken place in the bar, but I don't make those decisions and I think, he may not have either. Damn you publisher who shall remain nameless, DAMN YOU (shakes fist)!
Not gonna lie to you, I had a few road sodas on the way out there to boot. A couple tasty Arrogant Bastard Pale Ales and with the drive taking close to 45 minutes due to traffic, I had to go something fierce as pulled in to park. After downing what remained of road soda no.3, I ran into Borders desperately searching for the bathroom as we still had a few moments till this little reading got underway. And who should I run into as I approached the men's room, Mr. Magary himself. We did the dance as we tried to go past one another; you know, you both go right, then go left, continue. This was followed by his simple, yet polite: "Sorry." I countered with: "Here, I'll go this way." He was taller than I thought he'd be. Whatever.
One nice point from last night's little reading was that Drew also read a post from his FKS days, which I always thought were hilarious, as they seemed to be a bit more personal; for the simple fact that...they were indeed more personal. I don't know, I guess it comes down to, writing, for or about yourself always seems to have a way different feel than the alternative, a book of dick and fart jokes.
Nevertheless, good times all around. Had a few beers, a few laughs, what-have-you's. All that and I was able to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Hot damn, that's good Wednesday!
Happy Veteran's Day everybody. Now, if we can just keep these G.D. kids from riding their skateboards and listening to this "rock music". I tell ya what, this generation is worse than the hippies, the flappers, and the Nazis combined...at least the hippies gave us those fat watchbands, and the flappers could dance, and the Nazis had that song "Eight Days a Week". What?? That was the Beatles?? Well who did I say??
In all seriousness, thank you for what you did for this country.
Now thats out of the way, I do really like this Weezer tune. The album, well to me it's really just another Weezer album, not great but fun to listen to. A few good jams and I have a top notch time while rocking it but when it's done I just don't really want to listen to Weezer for a day or two. Ok, I'm outta here, word on the street is I have my review coming up. Well, it's not really word on the street if your boss told you about it and has already agreed up luncheon plans. I'm sooo gonna get me a reuben. That raise yet remains undecided.
This morning I am back at the office following one of the greatest weekends I've had in a while. But what did I do?? What could possibly make this weekend far superior to those that had recently passed by?? Well, to be honest, I did nothing, ab-so-lute-ly nothing and it was everything I'd hoped it would be. Eating and sitting. A few beers and some football. That's about it. Now, there have been some repercussions from my weekend of my self shut-in but I reckon that my inane ability to interact well with others will come back soon.
Following my Friday night of getting kinda drunk at the hands of some mighty potent IPA and being kind of an ass when the ladyfriend and I met up with some of her co-workers, I was left alone on both my Saturday and Sunday as Kool-Aid was out in the Atlantic City for a bachelorette party. Now, part of me wanted to go out and woop it up like the good ol' weekends of my single days. You know, boy's night out type of stuff. Or was this to be my weekend to just put no effort out whatsoever and reap the benefits of being home alone with nothing on the agenda?? Eureka!! I am the greatest man alive. Time to bust out them sweatpants.
Now, when you're hunkering in for a long haul weekend, you're going to need some supplies. So, I spent part of my Saturday morning going out and loading up on the "essentials" for the weekend.
- Root beers? Check. - Delicious real beers? Check (Remember, you've got games to watch, time to stock up!!) - Random Hilarity for those down times? Check
- Random movies on demand? Ooh...I think I see "Big Trouble in Little China". And, is that, "Police Academy 3"?? You better believe it is. - 3.5 lb top round roast for Chigago Style Italian Beef Sandwiches? Check and mate.
About the only thing that went wrong on this little venture would be the fact that I was kinda hungover from drinking my dinner the night before. Oh..and I accidentally bought dark chocolate peanut m&m's. Not a deal breaker mind you, but the Toast here prefers the classic ones. What can I say, I'm a man of tradition.
Now, the remainder of the weekend, aside from a rather responsible trip to the gym on Sunday morning, was spent logging some sweet sweet couch time. With the Giants game on at 8pm on Sunday, estimated of total couch time nearing the double digits and that's pretty impressive. I can't even estimate the amount of stress on those sweats though. Lord knows what is holding them together as they had to endure, not only a significant portion of Italian beef digestion, but also deal with the chicken enchiladas I made for movie marathon Saturday. Oooh...bad chicken...mess you up!
Fortunately I get to welcome Kool-Aid home this evening, only to give reasons to why Fort Awesome has this ever present funk kicking through its ever so awesome walls. It's like a combination of beef jerky, sulfur, and a dead bobcat. Unfortunately the pumpkin spiced candle on the coffee table didn't stand a chance. Hurts not so good I tells ya, hurts not so good.
All that being thrown at you I have no real end to this post so I shall take a small bow. Coming soon to Toastedblog, intriguing, hard hitting, and possibly relevant material. Till then, you'll have to filter through this crap.
Man, Alice in Chains was a good time in their day. There is something about Layne Staley's voice that just causes you to be intrigued. Combine that with a little bit of harmonizing with Jerry Cantrell, plus some of his ominous guitar, and you've got a band that was turning some serious tricks in the early 90's. It's just too bad Staley couldn't kick that nasty smack habit. Take that as a lesson kids. Only take what you can handle and ALWAYS know your dealer.
Anywho, lets get to the meat and potatoes of this thing. After a few months of postponement on my part, I am now, once again, officially living the proverbial dream, if by dream you mean rocking early 90's grunge while at work or the random zany oddball 80's tune on the way home from the gym. You see, a while back my I-Pod, which typically stores approximately 70 gigs of beats, had a little hiccup in its ability to work properly and thus all information was promptly deleted causing me to just load up what music I had stored on my laptop as I was at the office at the time of aforementioned hiccuping. What I was left with was about 10 gigs of tunes, some of the favorites I guess you can call them. Spinning the favorites, that was me.
Well, after a few months time, even the favorites can almost wear on you. I mean, I don't know about you, but I can never tire of the guitar solo in Pearl Jam's "Even Flow". That being said, you still just gotta branch out people. I shouldn't have to tell you this but there is a bit more out there than just Greatest Hits compilations. And, on cue, enter one of my most prized possessions, my portable hard drive. 320 Gigs loaded to the gills with sick beats, random shows, basically all of the music that I have collected over the past 15 years. If that thing ever goes in a fire, I'm toast. HA! Get it?! No, in all seriousness, if I lose that hard drive, I may very well drive into a bridge embankment.
So, where is all this going you may ask. Well, I finally took the time to reload my I-Pod with some new stuff; hence the Alice in Chains talk. Quite a bit to choose from, and unfortunately, still some more work to be done as I-Tunes is unable to convert some of these music files so this is going to require a bit of ripping albums to the program itself. Looks like someone has a project for the weekend. JACKPOT!! Hours spent with nonsense in front of a computer, that doesn't sound familiar at all.
Its gonna be sooo worth it though. If it is any close to the enjoyment that I'm getting out of Dirt then I'm going to rock the shit out of it!! I've got quite the mix of albums lined up for my work day today. Obviously we started with some well deserved AIC and its only going to get more random, yet awesome, from here. We've got Nirvana's Bleach, a whole mess of early Chili Peppers, and Badmotorfinger by Soundgarden to get to. And that's only the morning. Wait till the afternoon when we "wind down" with all the Jethro Tull you can handle. Oh man, I can't wait for "Minstrel in the Gallery". Sometimes I wish I worked at a radio station; I would have made a hell of a DJ.
Pretty simple today Toastedblog faithful, get out there and vote today. Toast here has been screwed in the past by announcing where his support may lie so this year I've kept my opinions to myself, no matter whom I may be backing (Obama). Gotta let you all alone to figure it out for yourselves. Now, pretty much the only thing left to decide is whether to go with a Chicago style or thin crust. Hmm...that's a riddle wrapped in an enigma if I ever saw one. Good luck at the polls people!!
"Don't tone it down too much, you're gonna want that cowbell on this track."
Oh...hello. Didn't see you walk in there. So, how we doin' Toastedblog faithful?? It seems we've been a bit out of touch here of late. I know, I know, it's predominantly my fault but when you're livin' for the city, life seems to zoom by, often out of control. Take these scenarios for minute. A lil' bit of the recent what up and highlights in the life of, yours truly, Mayor McToast. I'm not promising much, but what you read is true. We'll catch up with you soon, for realsies. Right now, I'm pooped.
"How Bout 'Dem Cowboys?!"
Yesterday the Toast, with Kool-Aid in tow, trekked up ol' NY way for the Giants vs. Cowboys game. Highlights include, delicious sandwich, some beers, meeting up with Pa Cregg and a few of his buddies, some guy falling off one of those motorized ride-on coolers. Oh, and the Cowboys getting trounced by the Giants defense. Oh Mama is right!!
More important was the fact that I was actually at the game. We had a bit of a close call in the ticket acquisition portion of this particular Giants game. My Uncle, who resides in Buffalo, NY and holds the family's season tickets had sent them next day air on Thursday to Fort Awesome (Alexandria, VA). Well, apparently to our friends at FedEX, next day air means not showing up till Monday. This is actually an assumption as tickets still are not in my possession and I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that they will arrive today; 3 full days after they were supposed to. Some fancy footwork made this dream a reality though. Kudos to the NY Giants Ticket Box Office and Uncle Bob for getting on the horn on Saturday and allowing me not to waste $200. Congrats, you should all be quite proud to recieve the Avis "We Try Harder" award. At Avis, where we try harder.
"You know what? SPRINTS!!"
Below is a picture of the Toast at Halloween last year. Why am I showing you a picture of a Halloween costume from a full calender year ago?? Because my dream of being Johnny Mac this year never came to fruition due to lack of white short shorts searching and thus was left this most recent Halloween to re-live the dream that was, the High School Gym Coach. Note the gut internet audience, that's four pillowcases and a t-shirt or two hard at work there.
*Key sidenote*: this costume won the Toast third place in his Annual At-Work Halloween Costume Contest. Third prize was that I was just given another beer. You know what.....I have no problem with that. Special congrats to Kool-Aid as well, who makes her official Toastedblog debut, in a little skirt and neckerchief no less. Quite provocative Kool-Aid, quite indeed. Something tells me that with a quick blow from my whistle I should be making her do a few squat-thrusts, OW!!
"Just like my main man, GW."
On Saturday Kool-Aid and I spent the day hiking some trail a number of miles that leads to nearby Mount Vernon, VA. Not much to add here, I just wanted you to know that I spent some on my weekend time taking in some well deserved history of one of America's founding fathers and our country's first president. Plus, that G.D. estate has quite the view...and it's own distillery. Yowzers!!
There's been other stuff but to be all honest my brain isn't working so well as there was a ton of time spent behind the wheel of a Passat going back and forth to the NYC yesterday, leaving early yesterday and arriving home at Fort Awesome quite late last night. You'll hear about all the madcap hilarity from someone, trust me.
