There's a hole in the world like a great black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with shit! And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

A while back I cracked an egg o' knowledge on y'all about movie watching with the Toast and what I was attempting to accomplish may not have been a weekly drilling but more creating a type of post that was going to jump out and say hello from time to time. Unfortunately supporters of the Toast on the internet have been without my rather important random movie knowledge. You have no idea what to rent, what to see. How will you get by without the Toast and his "rent that shit" take on fine cinema?? The answer simply is...you can't. Just try to imagine what you're lives would be like without me. Awful isn't it??

I just have one question for you all; have you seen some of that shit that is out there?!?! The reason that this hasn't been flung on you my devoted internet faithful isn't due to a lack of trying. I mean, I'll watch me some movies, they really rev my engine, but some are just not worthy to grace Toastedblog. There just is a lot of shitty films out there. However, I should really explain that I have been weeding through the crap and checking out some decent flicks. They just happen to be those that don't get any burn here on the blog is all. Take note to the list below:

- I am Legend
- No Country For Old Men
- Michael Collins
- Elizabeth: The Golden Age
- The Darjeeling Limited
- Beowulf
- Sunshine
- Death at a Funeral
- American Gangster
- Pirates of the Carribbean: At World's End

What you read is a list of films that I went ahead and rented over the past, I don't know, few months. A few were decent (Sunshine, Funeral), some I had seen in theatres (Old Country, I'm talking about you here), some I wanted to see in theatres (Legend, Gangster, Darjeeling), and yet some were rented just to complete the trilogy (I couldn't even finish the third "Pirates" flick, it was that bad). I mean, as I had mentioned before in a previous post, I don't really take too many chances on bad cinema. Most often flicks will get at least a thumbs up from the Toast and those movies listed above aren't bad (once again, "Pirates" aside), they just don't have that certain special something. Except for "No Country", that movie was harsh. Yeah!

Now that doesn't mean that they'll get two very enthusiastic thumbs up from the Toast either. And that is why I am writing this very post you are reading. Or is it: "why I wrote the very post you are reading". Whatever, all I am trying to get across is that I did, in fact, recently catch a flick that gets the "highly coveted" two enthusiastic thumbs up stamp of approval from the Toast. What was that you ask?? Well, if you haven't deciphered the photo overhead I feel for you and your lack of awareness. IT WAS "SWEENEY TODD" DAMMIT!!

I found it hard to believe that Johnny Depp did not have any singing experience prior to this film, he's that good. I guess when you are an amazing talent stuff like singing comes naturally to you. Anyone who has caught the Toast's "electric" karoake version of "Don't be Cruel" by Bobby Brown knows exactly what I am talking about. Getting the movie down did require two takes as the first attempted viewing came on this past Saturday night following my day long rugby, drinking, and pulled pork binge but it is definitely worth a two hour sit down with some milk duds.

Since taking it all in I have found myself belting out tunes from this particular musical; just wandering around singing about "Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pies" and "Pirelli's Miracle Elixer" as I am out completing my day to day. Depp's performance aside, which I won't call brilliant but will label as hella fine, the rest of the cast put together for "Sweeney" is fantastic and very fitting for the film. As usual, Alan Rickman plays a villian as only Rickman can, snobby and elitist with, I don't want to call it a charm because one definitely doesn't find Judge Turpin "charming", but its definitely him and Helena Bonham Carter is terrific as Mrs. Lovett, complete with a fine array of heaving bosom shots. Throw in Sacha Baron Cohen, albeit his part in the film is small, and you've got something working here. And they sing...well!!! Who knew??

The movie is dark, creepy, sweet, savvy, humorous, intense, and just a damn fine time. If a musical is getting this kind of take from the Toast you know it's good, as if it had "real bits of panther in it". To give it a two word review, one could call it dazzling disturbing. Just go ahead and rent it, you'll see for yourself.


**Quick Sidenote**

I really liked the song "By the Sea". Johnny Depp's body language throughout the whole tune is priceless.