"Tessie"

Click to play and see below. A little insight into where the name for my wonder-mutt originates from.

"We're not here to mess around!"

Well, now that you got Dropkick full on in the background why don't you go ahead and get lost into the wonder that is my pup. Tessie, you truly are the only only OHHH-OHH-NLY!!

That's 9 pounds of puppy right there. Yup, you heard that right, she's packing on some poundage.

"A-buuuuhhhh"

Attacking Rocky III. I mean really, did you hate the training montage with Apollo and Rocky on the beach that much. Plus, Clubber Lang was the best Rocky bad guy this side of Ivan Drago.

She like to attack my jammies. I can't get her to stop. (Psst...the guy in the blue pants is me.)

A nice photo op with her Mr. Squeakerton.

Expect more photos to come. I can see why they're called proud parents. You should here her post bathroom praises, you would have thought she'd won a pulitzer with all the "good girl" talk going around "Fort Awesome" these days.

Toast runs 10K in 90 degree heat, surprisingly is still alive

Now, I don't have a problem running great distances, never really have. I just kind of keep chugging away at a steady clip. Not gonna blow anyone away, but certainly not slacking either. Just good enough to not get noticed. I guess you can say that about all sports I play, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

In any event, yesterday morning I was greeted with my alarm at 6AM to take out Tessie just before I hopped in the volkswagen to head up ol' Maryland way to take part in Pike's Peek, a local 10K. I've run a few 10K's in my day, few 15's as well. They're nothing to be afraid of, actually they're kinda fun as opposed to their bitchy little brother the 5K. I hate those, you don't get to spend any real time enjoying the race as its short enough so anyone who's anyone will sign up to run a few miles without properly training for it. This makes for a difficult run as you have to get through the gauntlet of walkers that are out there. But a 10K, that'll scare a few more people away. I mean, that's damn near 6+ miles. Plus, you can run somewhat leisurely unless you want to be a dick about it and try to blow people out of the water. Basically, what I am trying to get across is this; it's an easy run if you're looking for something around a 9 minute mile clip that you can kinda relax, enjoy, listen to your tunes, and get some free eats afterwards as you just paid close to $40 to run. Congrats. Why don't you just pat yourself on the back??

Anywho, the downside of all of this is it can get pretty G.D. hot down here in the District. So, even though these races usually get underway early in the morning (circa 8am) by the time you're running that sun is getting hot something fierce. Throw in the fact that you're running on some asphalt road with fresh blacktop and little to no shade and that will make things a little more interesting to say the least. Yesterday, it was something like 89 degrees when the race began and it got so bad that those throwing this little shindig ran out of water. Well..isn't that just the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas?? They say its not so much the heat but the humidity. Those people are assholes!! Hot is for the birds, whatever hot it is. (except hot wings, hot sauce, hot turkey sandwich, Andy Capp's Hot Fries, hot ladies, spicy hot mustard)

Why am I talking about all of this?? Does this blog have any merit left?? The answer to both of those questions is simple enough, who knows?? I just wanted to tell you how badass I am. Yup, paying a good chunk of change to wake up ass early on a Sunday and run to damn near heat exhaustion just plain ol' screams don't mess with this guy. Idiot.

The best part was that I went out for a few pops afterwards as to seal the deal and fully destroy any attempt to accomplish things on my Sunday. You want blast off time?? Why don't you go run a couple hard miles in extreme heat, limit your water intake, then polish off a couple tall boys at "insert bar here". You'll forget all your woes and pass out watching playoff hockey in various positions in no time.

Leftovers, Puppies, and Hockey

As you can see my plan for the evening is pretty simple. Kool-Aid is going to be out and about doing Kool-Aid things till late, the Bruins are up 3-0 in their series against the Habs, I have leftover chicken enchiladas in the fridge, and a 10 week old black lab puppy that is in the process of learning all of the Alpha's rules. Since Kool-Aid isn't going to be around, she's just going to have to experience Fort Awesome run by the Toast. Ooooh....get ready for your first sip of beer there little lady. You'll soon learn to love it, just like me.

Oh...and there's this. You're probably already picking up what I'm about to put down by now by Kool-Aid and the Toast are the proud owners of a small, sack of flour sized black lab pup whom we've dubbed "Tessie" (song posting to come, stupid at work internet filters). Prepare yourselves to be beaten over the head with all sorts of puppy pictures, inuendos, and random stories regarding her cuteness as I have a pretty good feeling that I'm going to be "that" type of dog owner. She's just too damn awesome not to be. Photos to come so my many, many internet readers can bask in and gaze at all her splendor.

Half Drunk Chomping on Pizza!!

This is a shot of Bruins Captain, 6'9" Man-Beast Defenseman, and 260 lb cycling enthusiast Zdeno Chara following his third period game winner last night. His one time blast from the point gave the B's a 3-2 lead late in the third period of Game 1 of their series against the Montreal Canadians; a game that they'd end up winning 4-2. My response was a pizza filled yelp of "Fuck and Yes" while I was at a local sports bar called Bugsy's, the only place I know that they show hockey around here, other than the Cap's of course. Bugsy's was a last minute audible as a channel that I pay for through my local cable provider called the NHL Network apparently doesn't show any playoff hockey games. It was a stupid, stupid buy.

Game 2 is Saturday night at 8, here's to hoping that I don't spend another $50 on beer and pizza as fingers are crossed to watch the game at home from the couch rather than a small crowded bar that sells Labatt's (only bar I've found that does). I don't know, I just like watching my team from home, where I can hear, sit comfortably, and pause for bathroom runs. Whatever, I don't need to 'splain this to you. You're just a computer.

Oh..and for those scoring at home, I had the pepperoni and mushroom deep dish. HEEY!

What's in a name??

Well folks, this just in. Kool-Aid and I are getting a dog. The past few weeks has been a proverbial roller coaster ride in trying to adopt one but we've finally made some head way over the last week. Basically, adopting a dog from an agency in Northern Virginia is more difficult than storming the beaches of Normandy, completing the necessary pre-requisite testing for entering college, and quitting smoking combined. We've literally sent out dozens of applications with little to no response until just recently we heard back. Take a look below.

Tonight the plan is to meet the foster parent, wow her with my hauntingly beautiful blue eyes and Kool-Aid's ability to use big words, meet said pup, and let the agency take it from there. All this needs to get done in time for me to watch Game 1 of the Bruins v. Canadians series. Hmmm...me thinks it is going to be a bit tougher than anticipated. HUZZAH DVR..HUZZAH!!

Anyway, the course of action now is to name this little fella. I like this guy the best but this foster lady has a few pups, of mixed genders (OW!!) to choose from. Since this pup attainment operation was put in motion, the wheels have been turning in order to get a name that seems fit for a dog owned by the likes of folks named Toastie and Kool-Aid. Long story short, There are some requirements so, it's kinda gotta be kick ass. Maybe something that ties in to my likes, wants, needs, and general all around awesomeness. But it also has to reflect the gender a bit too. I mean, there's no need naming a girl dog "Gary" now is there?? Also....it has to be kinda stupid (i.e. Gary). Feel free to toss out any ideas but here's some of what we've been thinking. The ones with the music references are pretty much all me.

- Bayliss (Front man of Umphrey's)
- Janie (from "Janie Jones" by the Clash)
- Bowie
- Eddie "Barkey von Schnauzer"
- the aforementioned "Gary"
- Josie (came to me while I was listening to "The Inlaw Josie Wales" by Trey Anastasio)
- Buster (for so many reasons)
- Dusty Bottoms (see "Three Amigos")
- Ripley (Aliens is the shit!! Regardless, it's a pretty good dog name)
- Daltrey (sounds like a Butler, but an homage to the Who's front man)
- O'Riley (kinda goes with the above, i.e. "Baba O'Riley)
- McCready (anything to do with Mike McCready basically is synonymous with awesome)
- eh...there's others

Has it really been 15 years?

Recently I noticed that it has been 15 years since the "tragic" death of Kurt Cobain. The word tragic is in the frequently used by Toast quotations as the bastard did shoot himself; that being said it was a bit of o'tragedy as the world of music would never be the same. What does music have to show in the 15 years since?? MTV has gone from the way to get music out there to never showing a damn video. Seriously, not a one. Instead they are chock full to the gills of reality television and some show that I don't know a single thing about called "The Hills". Apparently it's Lauren's last season??? WHO THE FUCK IS LAUREN??

Kool-Aid tells me that "The Hills" is about these rich girls that look good and buy stuff and that all the girls at her work go fuck crazy nuts over it. What I want to know is, where is the music?? And this question isn't just for television. Media today is way past my know how. I mean, the cd industry is dead. 15 years!! Obviously I live in the internet age now, something that was just really getting underway all those years ago when Cobain blew his head off. Such a tortured soul. Please, I understand you're an artist and you suffer painstakingly for your craft. I also understand that you suffered from various ailments and intestinal disorders that made it greatly uncomfortable for you in the day to day. That's why you adhere to a steady heroin regiment. Don't tell me you used that stuff for just for the high??

Anyway, I'm getting off track. It is just difficult for me to comprehend the fact that it's been 15 long/short years since a major influence for the music side of me stopped making music...for various reasons...okay, one reason. Where has the time gone?? Where has the music gone?? Better yet, where has the musical talent gone?? Oh, it can still be found (i.e. take another ganders of what I left you in the post below). Maybe, what I should really be seeking an answer to is; where has the intelligence of the masses gone?? Culture?? Are we really all about dancing with the stars?? Is the best thing we have to offer the world the ups and downs of Jessica Simpson's weight or the primadonna rock'n'rolla lifestyles of our atheletes?? Please Obama, give this country something to be proud of again. I implore you.

Maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that things are just not the same. That the world has changed over the last 15 years. When we live in an age when any idiot with a computer can post their opinions on the web for all to see and read (i.e. this blog, I'm no exception to the rule) things are gonna get dumbed down. Perhaps I'm not giving people enough credit. Perhaps I'm being too cynical. Perhaps I should be blaming Cobain for some of this. I mean, after all, Cobain made it cool to sing about your feelings and still rock at the same time; of course he's gonna get his fair share of copycats. Someone's already done it, probably ten times better than you ever could. Might as well just try to follow his template and try to cash in, am I right. Well, do you know what that gets you 15 years later?? Emo Rock. Ugh.....(shudders at desk)

Okayokayokayokay...I apologize for this rant. I didn't get much sleep last night. Sometimes, I just want you to know that I'm more than movie quotes and song clips. I'm really a happy camper and I still looove to rock. And there are still a ton of beats out there for me to jam, to discover, to inform as many people as I can about. If anything, my tastes aren't mainstream so the fact that Pop Music is so garbage these days really shouldn't effect me. I just have this perception of things sometimes and it really grinds my gears. In any event, 15 years. 15 years since Cobain took off from rockin' via a shotgun blast. Makes you think huh?? Well, makes me think anyway. In closing...Umphrey's is the shit, Pearl Jam is still rockin' the free world, and how come no-one talks about the death of Layne Staley?? Good god Alice in Chains was awesome!!! Later boners.

Sidenote: Oddly enough, it has been 7 years since the death of Staley, who was pronounced dead exactly 8 years to the day (April 5, 1994 and 2002) following Cobain. And people note the number of musicians dying at the age of 27, yet no one really seems to bring this up. Probably due to how Staley was at the time of his death. Hell, the five years leading up to his death for that matter

"I said GODDAMN!!!"

Above you'll notice the band Umphrey's McGee, the very same band that I'm a-gonna catch to in only a few short hours just up the road in Baltimore. Watching the video from the 5:30 mark on will instantly cause you to lose your shit. You've been warned.

Grumblecakes

You ever have those days when you just want to vault yourself down a flight of stairs?? No??? Uh....me either. Just been dangited since the get-go I'm afraid. Eh....don't let it get you down Toast, you've still got Friday to get though and I hate to tell you this but in order to do that you're definitely going to need to get that I-Pod thingy fixed. I don't think I want to know what this office is like without dem beats pumpin'.

In any event, today was kind of the day from Hell, for the most part that is. Things blowing up left and right, nothing I was trying to accomplish seemed to go according to plan, horrible commute due to traffic/rain/fog/etc., you name it, it pretty much happened today. Guess it could have been worse though, I could have crapped my pants. Yeah, I wouldn't wish that on my enemies. The good news is that I am just about ready to call it a day. Other folks have gone all homeward bound here at the office, I think I've earned it just as much as them. Time to go have a beer, rework my music, jam out a bit, cook myself something fancy, and high five a Kool-Aid. This day may very well work out after all.

Toast OUT!