There's no basement in the Alamo!

Well ladies and gentlemen, kids of all ages and you daffy senior citizens, the Toast here is about to jet off to good ol' Plano, TX for a few days of work related debauchery; i.e. to learn some folks good about what it is exactly that I do here. Ah..Texas, the Sunshine State..GORGEOUS!! Updates from the road to come. Haven't decided if I'm going to do a running diary of the haps of this work trip or if I'll just stick with the ever impressive Plan B, which is to take down enough TexMex to choke a donkey; post work of course. Nevertheless, I'm going to have some time to kill and the idea of sitting in a hotel room from the hours of 7pm-sleepy time does not get my dander up in the least.

Currently I am making a sweet I-Pod mix for my time in the air and layover in Hot-lanta. Eh...we'll see how it turns out. I'm fore-seeing a lot of John Lennon, Neil Young, and some oddball Clash; been on a kick lately. That being said, Toast OUT!! Let me know if you want me to bring you anything back. Chili recipes and doofy cowboy gear, I'm looking at you here. Later boners.

Greek Food = The Bomb!!

This past Friday night Kool-Aid and I hit up a Greek Restaurant a few blocks away from us down King Street in Old Town Alexandria called Taverna Cretekou. Let me tell you, the shit was the bomb kid!! Now, every once in a while, Kool-Aid, who is the cheese to my macaroni, likes to go out and do something, well not quite fancy but at least out and about, and she has been riding me HARD about checking out this place. As a man who lives by the following code: "whatever my Kool-Aid wants, my Kool-Aid gets", I was more than happy to oblige.

For starters, just to get you all in the know, the Toast likes to drive fast and take chances when it comes to eating/eating out. Not wild and crazy times mind you, but I'm not just eating grilled chicken or going to the Olive Garden every night out either. Nothing against the Olive Garden, but there's a time and place for that. When it comes to your hot trophy girlfriend, who happens to be a bit of an adventurer, you just gotta roll the dice.

Now, my familiarity with Greek Cuisine isn't up to par, especially when compared to the deliciousness I can prepare on a whim at home. Basically, I just don't know too much about it. Some yogurt sauce gets put on stuff. They like lamb. I've eaten Baklava a few times. That Greek-Fest we went to back in the day had some good ka-babs (souvlaki). Realistically, that is pretty much it. Kool-Aid on the other hand, well she knows her shit following a good amount of time spent in Greece last summer on a post Grad School graduation va-ca. Ask her about "Donkey", I'm sure she'll show you a pic or two.

After last Friday's little outing, the Toast can safely say that Greek food = the bomb!! (Hey..where have I read that before??) For dinner I decided to kinda push the envelope. Rather than getting something predominantly lamb related (Arni to those crazy Greeks), I went ahead and ordered some restaurant special sampler of sorts. After a bit of research, I can now officially tell you what came on my plate.

Toast's order:

- Moussaka: some sort of lasagna looking eggplant thing, thumbs up!!
- Pastitsio: similar to the above, sans eggplant, same result in my tummy though
- Dolmades: Not a fan of the mint, Kool-Aid finishes this one
- Soudsoukakia: I'm a-gonna make these sometime soon.
- Spanakopita: Fucking Delicious!! Spinach, pastry & cheese alright by me!

Not gonna lie to you internet audience, I ate goooood. You know, the no room for dessert, in bed before midnight cause standing up makes you dizzy kinda good. All said and done though, the Toast is currently on the lookout for a good Mediterranean/Greek Cookbook to further enhance my culinary skills. Plus, this will instantly pay off with the Mrs. I'm so gonna get me some mean back rubs for this decision, its not even fair.

"Do those sound like the actions of a man who had ALL he could EAT?"

Who likes crabs?? Who's ready for some beers?? Who's looking forward to spending some sweet sweet time with good buddy from back home M-Keezie (aka Matt)?? Who's prepared for gratuitous amounts of obligatory 80's and early 90's rap (can you handle the Bobby Brown?) complete with some kick-ass goofy dance moves as the drunkening progresses?? If you said the Toast, the answer would be Fuck and Yes!

The chance of karaoke over the course of the weekend is high as sometime mid-morningish tomorrow, the soon to be named Passat will be heading north to the 'Burg to meet up with my friend Matt for some general debauchery and high fa'lootin' good times. That's right internet faithful, the Toast is going to Chambersburg, PA. Gaze upon all her majesty. The reason you ask, well M-Keezie hails from the 'Burg and still has a great number of good friends inhabiting this little Pennsylvania community and has invited yours truly to hit up it's annual Crab fest on Sunday. All you can eat crabs, oh mama is right. Throw in some College Football at his best friend's bar, some beers, and apparently some gun shooting (it is Chambersburg, PA after all) and you've got yourself a nice little Saturday planned to boot. A little sidenote if you will, the Toast has never fired off a live round and is a little intrigued by all of this "shooting range" thing that's planned for tomorrow afternoon.

Realistically, the main reason for this little weekend getaway to Pennsylvania's beautiful Franklin County is to spend some time with Matt, who is one of my best friends from back home. We met each other playing rugby in Syracuse, NY about 5 years ago and immediately hit it off. Over the years, driving to rugby games all throughout the state together, drinking after games together, going out for wings and watching football and hockey together at bars, we got to be real close . But, as life has a habit of doing I moved, Matt got married and our time spent together without significant others so we can really cut loose is few and far between. Not that it doesn't work when significant others are present, its just a little different is all. Anywho, this weekend should be real nice for the Toast. All I know is that I am looking forward to sittin' down at a picnic table on Sunday afternoon, the Giants game on somewhere in the background/foreground with a pile of blue crabs resting in front of me and a 12 pack no more than an arms length away. It's gonna be thuper thweet.

For no real reason other than my being currently in love with this song, I give you "The General Specific" from Band of Horses. It's the shiiit.

"Yippie-ki-yay, Mister Falcon!"

Dennis: Some gay guys are twinks, and others are bears. This gay guy's a bear. By the way we're totally cool with that. To each his own.
Frank: Wait, I'm a little confused here. What's a twink?
Dennis: A twink is small and slender, like Mac.
Mac: Oh no, I'm too muscular, I would be a bear.
Dennis: Ohh don't think so bro. Not hairy enough.
Frank: Smooth. I would be a bear.
Dennis: No no see I don't think you'd be a bear either. As a matter of fact I don't know what you would be because you're definitely not a twink.
Frank: I'd be a top, that's for sure.
Mac: Can a twink be a top, or is that reserved for bears?
Dennis: I'm sure there's a great deal of switching back and forth, but I think more often than not bears are tops, unless they happen to be power bottoms.
Frank: What's a power bottom?
Mac: A power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.
Dennis: Actually Mac, you got it backwards. See a power bottom's actually generating all the power by doing most of the work.
Frank: Does the power have to do with the size or the strength of the bottom?
Mac: Now Dennis, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.
Dennis: Speed has everything to do with it. You see the speed of the bottom informs the top how much pressure he's supposed to apply. Speed's the name of the game. Right buddy?

It's exchanges like the above that keep the Toast constantly coming back for more. That, and anything that revolves around Charlie. All that now tossed out at you, the new season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia premires tonight on FX. Toast is giddy, you've been alerted, and there was much rejoicing. HUZZAH!!

Things my new office is good for.

What a minute. Hold the phone. You in fact did read that title correctly my faithful internet audience, the Toast has himself a new lot here at the workplace to call his own. With the aforementioned recent departure of a long time team member, office settings were restructured and Corporate Toast now is movin' on up to the big leagues, if by big leagues you mean an office that isn't just a glorified ex-coat closet. This kid has hit the big time....from a certain point of view.

Now, I've only been in this new space for a little over a week but here is a short list of things I have already noticed that this new office is particularly good at and/or good for.

- natural light.
- eating m&m's.
- rocking. I constantly have my I-pod with me at the office so I can hit up my beats. Currently we are thrashing the new digs with some old school Beasties.
- a window to the outside world where I can feel the cool breezes of Anytown, U.S.A.
- previous tenant dropping by as a force of habit (Wait a tick, this isn't mine anymore).
- the occasional lunchtime Toastedblog.
- coffee consumption
- showing off my office flair (that calender of bunny suicides isn't going to show itself)
- upon my arrival every morning while I am in the process of enjoying my apple-a-day, I get to read the daily article from here. Don't you DARE judge me.
- taking down delicious lunch sandwiches
- workies
- confusing others ("When'd you move here??")
- designing and drawing out various football formations and plays (I have this giant wipe-board for some odd reason in here). I know, the fucking jackpot right.

As you can see, the benefits greatly outnumber any possible complaints, threefold. Word to your moms!!

"What a headline! Frog Bribes Reporter: Muppets Desperate For Publicity!"

Not too long ago I noticed an advertisement online for an exhibit at the Smithsonian International Gallery here in D.C. so over the weekend that came complete with an under the weather Kool-Aid, nasty forecasts for the out-of-doors, and just a general thirst of all things knowledgeable, an outing was planned to give said exhibit a good once over. Oh...did I not mention what was to be the substance of this temporary Smithsonian exhibit; the reason for this most recent museum outing?? Sorry. Basically all can rejoice for your good pal Toastie as this past weekend, with Kool-Aid in tow, he went and saw a bunch of Muppets.

That's right!! The Smithsonian has put together an exhibit devoted to the life and work of the great Jim Henson, a native of these parts, simply titled: Jim Henson's Fantastic World and I spent the better part of an afternoon heading to the District to soak it in. As a huge Muppets fan back in my day, it was safe to say that this kid was "living the dream". Truth be told, I wasn't officially "living the dream" until we hit up a local sandwich joint called Potbelly's for a tasty toasty roast beef sandwich treat. What??? With the hot peppers, you kidding me??

But let's get back to Henson for a moment. He truly was a visionary for both entertainment and for children's education. I know I probably wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for all he did with children's television programming. And where exactly would I be you ask, probably still trying to figure out how to get these shirt buttons all done up correctly. Ah..that Sesame Street, works wonders I tells ya. Not only that, but any program from the Jim Henson's Television Workshop brought with it not only viewing pleasure for us wee lads and lasses back in the day, but a great deal of education of a wide array of subjects. They did their best to make you well rounded by teaching children tolerance, fair play, interracial equality, and so on. The Muppets and all Henson programming was a staple in the Toast's house during his younger years. And don't get me wrong, its good for grown ups too. Hell, even today I own The Muppet Show on DVD. Throw that in the player and try not to have a good time. Go ahead...I dare you.

But going to this exhibit over the weekend brought back a lot of memories from my childhood and it really got me thinking about the differences between now and then, how things used to be. Times really have changed even though it seems as though only a few years have passed, everything is different. Whether it my life (I'm old), technology (I can't seem to keep up anymore), the types of commercials and programming on T.V. (doesn't seem to even seem compare now-a-days), the direction of things like our country and family values (I don't even know what to think anymore), etc.; the Muppets...Muppets are what got me to thinking like this. And what exactly is a Muppet? They're not quite mops, they're not quite a puppet, but man… (laughs hysterically) So to answer your question, I don’t know."

Thank god for the obligatory Simpsons quote; always there when you're in a pinch and need to find a way to end a blog post. You've got me out of a jam yet again. Oh well, we'll catch you on the flip flop kids. You take 'er easy. Toast OUT!

I'll learn you some mean QuickBooks let me tell you.

So...the past few days here at the office have been a whirlwind of activity as I have been doing what we Toasts do best; and that is, simply put, kickin' ass and takin' names. We've recently had a few folks come here to "Corporate" this week and, as per my job discription, I had to go out there and wow them with my mastery of my company's processes and various systems. Train them if you will.

Now, with the recent departure of one of our team members here, my position has brought to the Toast a few new roles, and a few opportunitites for advancement if these things go well. One of these new roles is to become our teams foremost QuickBooks and Accounting guru as our recent departure was pretty much heading that campaign as he was a former CPA. Well, I have had some experience with QuickBooks before (I knew what it was) and I can balance a checkbook (I am horrible with money). Most importantly, the Toast is a go-getter so when presented this opportunity to add on to my extremely vital role here as a Corporate stooge I took it without hesitation.

I now hold in my possession a solid two weeks of QuickBooks knowledge and this past Tuesday was my first opportunity to train franchisees and their office managers in the program and how it is to be used with our processes and systems. Not gonna lie to you my internet readers, I BOMBED!!!!! It's amazing that something you can seem to have a firm grasp of and can almost do blindfolded at your desk can instantly turn into a foreign language when you are alone in a conference room with a group of strangers they're hanging on your every word as this is going to be their life, their business.

Now, I know hindsight is 20-20 and looking back I can pick up on so many things I did wrong and what I won't do again as basically I let the training presentation get out of my hands and before I knew what happened it turned into a bunch of guys sitting around my laptop looking at the projected computer image on the wall wondering why we couldn't transfer invoices uttering phrases like: "Here try this" or "See what happens when you look at the chart of accounts under the reports tab". As exciting as that lingo sounds, its surprising how it can get you flustered when things just aren't going your way. When my long ass day was finished I couldn't wait to just drink a beer on my front steps so I could put this garbage day behind me.

Following a conversation with my boss yesterday I did feel much better about how my first run with this turned out. I also got to meet up with this group before they headed out as well, just to go through everything one more time and address any questions. You see folks, when things don't go as planned with me (as they can do), I tend to beat myself up for it, pretty bad sometimes, and Tuesday's first QB run was definitely one of those times. My boss, (who's a fellow athelete) put it in terms that I can relate to and we discussed how I just need to not worry about it, go back out there, and do it again. To learn from mistakes and take what you can from them. When you are in the wrong position on the ice and allow a goal to be scored because your man was uncovered, you remember that and next time you are in a similar sitiation, you know what to do and can prevent it. Not back covering when the scrum half boots it 40 meters over the heads of your back line, you remember that scenario and do your best to be ready for it when it happens later in the second half. You know what internet audience, G.D. QuickBooks is the same thing, and the Toast, well he'll be fuckin' ready!!

Best make sure y'all gots your big boy pants on!!!

In a rather pathetic attempt to keep you up to date as possible on all the goings on in the world of the Toast; I give you...my Saturday.

- Yesterday it rained. BAD! and I bought pants. 2 pairs!! but technically one shouldn't count on account of them being jeans.

- In response to the rain, Kool-Aid and I followed the expert 10AM tutelage of Paula Dean. Made this for dinner. FUCK and YES!!

- Drank wine. It was Red.

- Watched the movie "Street Kings". Never ever watch the movie "Street Kings". Resist the temptation at all costs, even when there is nothing else worthwhile at the video store. Learn from my grossly miscalculated error. Hey, I thought that a cast including: Keanu Reeves, Forrest Whitaker, and House would have made for a watchable flick...yeah, this time. Not so much.

- Jammies: 5PM. Bed: 11PM. on a Saturday Night mind you.

Sigh...that's it. That's all that there is. For realsies!! Man, sometimes, sometimes I'm just so G.D. lame.

"So bad ass, even Tony Danza is asking, Who's the Boss?"

Above your eyes rest upon Kevin Boss. The Toast is a huge NY Giants fan and that man is set to take over the highly coveted spot my favorite NY Giants player ever since the recent departure of former starting tight end and Toasted fav, one Jeremy Shockey. True, he may have been an ass, but I liked him. Probably due to my love of former Giants great, Mark Bavaro. But make no mistake, a Bavaro...Shockey is not!! However, Kevin Boss?? Hmm.....could be??

Anywho, I am getting off track. The reason why I bring Kevin Boss to the fold this afternoon is the fact that tomorrow morning I am set to take off to the NYC for the NFL Season Opener at Giants Stadium Thursday night, complete with a Little Crapper to boot. That's right, it's the annual Cregg/Coville 'Skins v. Giants game. God bless you elder Cregg's for purchasing season tickets oh so many years ago. And if any of you, my faithful internet audience, happen to be watching the game, the Toast and said Chuck will be sitting front row baby!! Well, second row actully, right at the goal line, tunnel side. That's right, I ended up getting the first level seats so look for this goofy irishman and his former college roommate in the crowd. Chances are, one of us could be drunk and unruly. Hmm..which one could it be??

**Quick Sidenote**
my family shares 6 season tickets, 4 up in the 300 level which is great for watching the game, and 2 second row on the goal line so you's can get up close and personal

Oh..and just because I know you wanted to see it. Dammit...at least I did. Saw-MAN-THAHHH!! Mo-NAHHH!! Love that show, who cares if Tony only can say names in two different ways. It's the TOPS!!!

WHAT ABOUT 30?

It's all I could think about this past weekend in response to this being the last year of my roaring 20's. You'll catch it at about..oh...the 2:23 mark.



And just for the hell of it. Wooo doggie do I like me some Mr. Show.