"Hey Rick! I never made a slam dunk before, thanks for the boost."

This is what I've been dealing with the past few days.

Saturday Night: Tampa Bay Rays 9 - Boston Red Sox 8

Monday Afternoon: Tampa Bay Rays 9 - Boston Red Sox 1

Monday Night: Cleveland Browns 35 - NY Giants 14

Last Night: Tampa Bay Rays 13 - Boston Red Sox 4

The top of the 6th inning of last night's game was my breaking point. The Rays were amidst a 5 run inning and Boston was playing like a collective ball of fuck out there. With my teams collectively being outscored 66-27 over the course of four days, I couldn't take it anymore. With my anger rising and rising, I went out and did the logical thing; I began searching for solace.

Solace founded. I lucked into a little something on one of my 873 pay channels. Ahh...Comcast, you finally proving your worth. So, for some odd reason I love the movie "The Cable Guy". There is just something about it that puts a little extra bounce in my step. Some may think that the film is awful and Jim Carrey should probably go ahead and apologize for it. For shame!! You bitches need to open up your eyes. Truth be told, I think its my favorite movie that he's done; that or "Eternal Sunshine". Most likely it's "Eternal Sunshine". But nevertheless, it's a G.D. classic and deserves your utmost respect.

I pretty much think its the lisp that Chip Douglas (Carrey's character) has that sends me through the roof. That and the entire scene in Medieval Times. Being 16 when the movie came out, my younger brother Cory and I used to reenact that scene endlessly, especially the dialogue when Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick are battling each other as knights. Ever since that move I have been DYING to go to Medieval Times. Kool-Aid promised that we would go there on my birthday, as one is located in nearby Baltimore, MD. How convenient that we happened to be out of town on my birthday and still, to this very day, that promise has not been fulfilled. You lied to me.

Ok, I am getting off track. You readers should know that this is very common. The main point of this post is that when I woke up this morning, I wasn't so terribly bitter and visibly as pissed off as I would have/should be. All I can think about is Chip Douglas' warm up before he plays basketball, Carrey's lisp, and this one line which I will close out with; a line my buddy Matt used to say all the time and hearing it live got me laughing it out loud. Until then, fucking Red Sox better come out to play on Thursday and the Giants loss was bound to happen, you can't win all the time. Just don't let it happen again boys. Then I'll really start getting upset. And. here. we. go.

Chip: "Yeah I was taking a shower and I heard the phone ring, has that ever happened to you? Call me back later, we'll talk about it"

Call me back later, we'll talk about it. heeheeheehahahahAHAHAHAAHAA!