"Stay away now, don't - don't come in here. Whatever you hear, stay away! John Doe has the upper hand!"

Up until last night I had forgotten how truly fucking awesome the movie Se7en actually is. My post work plan yesterday included going to the gym, making something to eat, and watching the Sox take on the Angels. This was only partially achieved.

I did make it to the gym and I did go ahead and make myself something to eat. I even stopped off at a local fine beer store for some pretty sweet Flying Dog Kerebos Tripel to enjoy simultaneously with my homemade buffalo chicken wing nachos and, of course, the game. However, when all was said and the tedious nacho preparation was done I came to find that the Sox were already down 4 runs by about the top of the fourth and rather than sit through and watch their second loss in a row (fourth out of their last five games), I opted to see what other forms of entertainment the ol' digital cable would provide me.

Quickly I headed over to one of the very many movie channels comcast provides me, for a nominal fee of course. Upon first glance, I was set to watch another Toast favorite, Hot Fuzz. While the opening credits began to roll on in I used the incredibly clever guide feature on my giant remote to just see what else I could find, as I have seen Hot Fuzz numerous times over the past year.

"Hmm...Jaws, that's a good one. Dammit, its on a channel that has commercials. Fuck that!! What else we got here??"

And this when I ran into Se7en, just as the opening credits had ended their run. Let's give it a go I thought. I had my nachos, I had my wonderfully chilled and potent beer (8.5% y'all) and since this was one of the two DVDs I purchased when I decided to reward myself for graduating college and getting my first REAL job way back in '01 with a DVD player, it was safe to say that it had been quite a while since this flick graced my presence. Ladies and gentlemen, I have found my entertainment for the evening!!

Well, it's still fucking awesome!!! It had to have been at least 5 or 6 years since I really watched this flick and while I wasn't met with the same original surprise I had when I first watched it over ten years ago, it still sent shivers down my spine, grossed me out on occasion, all while just being a fucking awesome, intelligent, original, and psychotic story. Toastedblog faithful, if you have a spare few hours some night, just re watch it, for Morgan Freeman's performance alone. And if his quiet, yet strong and high depth performance doesn't do it for you; you still have John Doe (a brilliant Kevin Spacey) to deal with, who makes the movie ten times more wicked awesome with only the ten minutes of screen time he gets. And the ending...oh the ending. It really isn't a huge twist or anything as there is some foreshadowing throughout the film, but its just so great, despite what some may say about it.

Now, I don't really expect you to check the movie out just because I said so here today. I'm just here giving a movie that I had kinda forgotten about over the past few years two very enthusiastic thumbs up. That's it...I'm out.

"Uh, feel free to harmonize with Hobbes on the RUMMA TUM TUMS"

Other kids' games are all such a bore!
They've gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far!
It's never the same! It's always bizarre!
You don't need a team or a referee!
You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me!

The perfect outlet for the afternoon me thinks.

**Quick Sidenote**
I loved whenever Watterson depicted Hobbes as just a stuffed tiger. See below.

Keep on Truckin'

Presently, I am sitting in my office while the majority of my team members are either on vacation or have shipped out to Vegas for some regional convention thingy that I apparently didn't make the cut for. Eh...to hell with 'em. I don't have the money to gamble away in Vegas anyway and if you think I want to head out there to catch a Celine Dion show you are sorely mistaken.

But, there-in lies a problem. With my fellow teammates being straight out of dodge it has left me alone in our corner of the building and I'm not gonna lie to you, this does not bode well for my production levels. Long story extremely short, I am finding it wicked difficult to keep my eye on the prize as they say and all that this kid is hitting up work wise today is the constant checking of a few random websites and listening to the Dead. Am I on a gravy boat with biscuit wheels this week as all are out of the office?? Kinda...but what I have noticed is aside from a few "hey, how's it goin's" and "what did you do this weekend" I really haven't had that social outlet that we Toast's need almost constantly. And, like I said, my productivity is pretty much at an all time low.

So what must be done you ask?? Well, as our title so blantantly states, I must keep on truckin'. This is to be a test of whatever so called "work ethic" I really have to keep my mind focused on a couple different projects that I need to complete here in the next few weeks so I can show my worth around here. And who knows what will come of all of this (pay raise??? fingers crossed), but if I do show my boss, and my boss's boss, and so on a little sumpin sumpin, things for the Toast around here may turn into, like, the shit, rather than being kinda shitty as they have been of recent weeks. Nevertheless, here's to hoping.

So, it's time to forge ahead!! Time to rise up and kick a little ass!! Time to unleash hell!! In any event, it's time to stop checking fantasy baseball stats and get to work.

Now that's some pretty sweet fist-pumping!!

Get a look at this idiot!! Dancing away to assorted 80's dance hits at his buddy's pre-wedding welcome party done Disney style this past Saturday evening. More Toasted updates via goofy pictures to come; just wanted to post some sort of update here to let all know that I haven't completely fallen out of touch. I'll let y'all in on a little secret here to boot. Believe it or not, the Toast pictured above is not the least bit sober. Pretty sure that by the time the shirt came untucked during this little shindig I was about 12 beers, a shot or two, and a few jager-bombs deep. And that was prior to hitting the dance floor, who knows where I was during this particular photo op.

"Everybody..King Kong ain't got shit on me!!! BANG BANG!!"

Coming to you live from Interstate 95

Being a corporate workin' man isn't without its few perks and priviledges. Currently the Toast is hitting you all up with a vacation update from a major interstate at 80 mph. We have a lot of vacation info from the past few days here to pass on to whomever actually reads this P.O.S. blog o' mine but I just wanted to let you know that I possess the cranial capacity and fancy corporate blackberry technology to access the internet whilst Kool-Aid drives us back to the District at warp speeds. Not going to take the time to fill you all in now, I just wanted to let you know how hard it was to actually get to you now. How's that for devotion??!! Later bitches!!

Road Trippin'

Mah lower back be all fucked up and is killing me, I am a little bit scruffy, coming off a kick-ass cold, and I am wearing a giant sombrero at the office; sounds like someone's taking a half day and heading south for a few days. Yuppers....the Toast is heading down Ol' Florida way with Kool-Aid in tow for the better part of a week for some general debauchery. By general debauchery I mean the wedding of good buddy/former rugby teammate/current smoked pork eating champion Matt Kormanec and his special lady down at Disney. Expensive rates?? You betcha, but its worth it to see one of my hetero life mates walk down the aisle.

Not to be outdid, we'll also be making a special bonus trip up to Jacksonville to see my sister Kate and little baby Callan for a few. What I really can't wait for is the fucking insane humidity that Florida offers going toe to toe with the Toast, post 13 beers and a few shots of course. That's a recipie for garbage Toast if I've ever heard one. Mmm....garbage toast. Top that off with my aching back in a corrolla for upwards of 24 hours in 6 days and this little va-ca is looking like it could be gravy. But really, I am excited about all of this. How else could you explain the sombrero??

Ahhh....smells like gunfire!!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

**Toastedblog Special Report**

The Toast feels like absolute garbage and is home sick for his second straight day from work following getting blindsided Sunday night with some serious cold and flu action. How much does this suck you ask??? Well, I don't have any fantasy baseball action to keep myself occupied with, I'd say about this much (/hold arms wicked far apart).

Hopefully we'll be seeing the office tommorow morning as I don't think I can handle watching daytime television anymore. Wait....was that "Teen Wolf"?? Later bitches!!

Wait......What??

It's fucking Friday??? How the hell did that happen?? Just the other day I was sitting here at the office wondering just how long this week was going to take and then...BAM!! Friday! Oh, I'm not complaining; just a wee bit confused is all.

But you say I haven't given y'all up to date info on all the haps of the Toast here over the last few, let alone the adventures that I'll be getting myself into. Who gives a shit?? I'll just go ahead and update you now. This weekend...I'm going to buy some pants. And I'm going to drive 50 miles to Frederick, MD so Kool-Aid and I can get drunk on some brewery tour with my cousin. There, you happy now??

"It's frickin' freezing in here Mr. Bigglesworth."

I love air conditioning as much as the next guy but today it's pretty ridiculous here in the Toast's office. Let's just say that I never really thought that my office building had a lot in common with Siberia or a Chili's walk-in cooler before, until now that is. Finally, a comparison worth having.

I am finding myself continually going to grab a cup of coffee just so I have something to warm up these ol' Irish bones. Here in lies another problem; I probably have drank about 5 cups of coffee today and now I'm all sorts of wired and jittery. Plus I haven't run to the bathroom this much at work since that time I got Kung Pao Chicken for lunch. Haaay-Ohhh!!!

Madonna hearts Kabbalah...third basemen.

Word on the street is that A-Rod and Madonna are hittin' the skins!! Truth be told, I really could care less. Truth also be told that I fucking despise both of them; and this coming from a guy who has Rodriguez on his fantasy team and used to enjoy a good drunken "Like a Prayer" sing-a-long.

And lets get this straight, A-Rod is 32. Madonna is how old?? I mean, she looks good for 50...but REALLY?? And A-Rod just had a kid, and Madonna just adopted another one, how are they to feel about this? The world today I tells ya. It's getting so a guy making hundreds of millions of dollars for playing a kid's game with a penchant for commiting adultery with strippers can't even cheat on his wife with an aging mega-pop star whore who can't write children's books anymore. It's a sad state of affairs.

Also, this is what qualifies for journalism and news these days. C'mon people, get me more 'round the clock coverage of important shit. There's a lot going on in this country you know. Find me some of that, that...hard hitting stuff. Ahh....that's better. Now that is what I call a story. Sigh......