It has come to my attention that my attempt at friendliness may have backfired causing dang its aplenty. Exceptions were made to my comment of someone being described as "pretty cool". Let me first explain myself and if anger is still there, it will be allowed, wait, it will be demanded that I receive multiple kicks to the teeth. I was afraid that if I used the originally intended phrase "wicked cool", my many audience members would see "wicked" as meaning evil by nature and in practice or malicious instead of "wicked" being used to intensify how cool you actually are. For example: "Wow, this sandwich is wicked!!" Here, "wicked" as written and understood by me would mean that sure is a tasty sandwich. But my audience could picture a sandwich trying to cause physical harm or worse, try to take over the world. To make a long explanation just a little bit longer; "wicked cool" would equal very cool or as my pal Wooderson would say, alright, alright, alright. I'm afraid that I just didn't want to tarnish your image and I apologize for any confusion.
In other toastednews I must extend an apology to my Uncle Jitter. Last night in our basketball game against the mad pressing three point heaving team known simply as Latinos Unitedos (or something like that) we got killed and at no point did we adapt to their game by coming out with some of the basketball plays that you suggested. We did unleash our impotent offense through poor shooting instead of bottling up those bad basketball skills by, as you put, four cornering them to death ala Princeton. No frustration or hilarity ensued. Nor did we take our rather large American teammates hands and circle the ball handler in an attempt to block out defenders in your "ring-around-the-rosie" offense and we didn't even come close to pulling off the "ring-around-the-toastie". Jitter, there was no trust tree; no nest. There was Phelps though, catching every pass as if he were a powerful tight end out there. You should have seem him as the ball was guided in by his body and he cradled it like a newborn baby being delivered by this Chaotic Doctor who doubles as our resident chef. But can he make casey-dillas; Chump Phelps!! Anywho, Jitter I know that you rattled your brain coming up with something that can help our team achive the success we so richly deserve. Just wait till next week. When are you coming home next or has that yet to be planned??
I have been given the "tremendous" opportunity of taking an exciting drive this Saturday morning down to Corning, NY; AT 5:00 AM (DANG IT!!). Why Corning, why so early, why is the Toast doing this to his much needed pajama jammy jam time in his warm and snuggly bed (you might even refer to it as toasty, ha ha)?? Well, I have to renew my hockey referee certification and the only seminar that I could attend is down in Corning (near Elmira) at 7:30 AM. True, they had some of these referee seminars near toasted land but our rugby matches were always scheduled on Saturday so I was unable to attend. We're talking about 7 hours on the ice with a whistle and a very stylish striped shirt. I'm actually looking forward to it, just not the 5:00 am part. Any opportunity I have to make around $150+ a weekend just to watch/ref some hockey games plus spend some time at the rink is alright by me. Plus, I get to wear a helmet, WOOP DE WOOP!!
Finally, it was released that George Steinbrenner has met with Pedro Martinez in an attempt to sign the free agent pitcher. Obviously I want him to re-sign with the Sox but how are Yankee fans taking this. Are they excited about potentially getting one of the games great pitchers or are the still all "who's your daddy"? Isn't it considered illegal to go after players who are considered your rivals?? I mean, the Yankee organization and their entire fan base have hated this man for years, now they are just going to throw that away because the big Stein is getting him as a hired gun? I've analyzed this situation a few times now and I have finally come to a conclusion; I'd look good in a beret.
That's it, I'm out!!
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2 comments:
Toastie...perhaps my comment was taken the wrong way. I thought the :) at the end of my comment may have explained the fact that I was only giving you a hard time. Your attempt at friendliness was taken as just that, friendliness. The phrase "wicked cool" would have been just fine....the phrase "the hottest bitch ever" would have been even better...but I don't like to toot my own horn if you know what I mean.
The sandwich you had at the Dino was ready to cause physical harm to anyone in it's way...mostly the people that were around during the digestion phase. (as mentioned in your previous blog) Thank God I didn't experience any of it.
^^ that was awesome!! especially how you called it "hottest bitch ever" :D :D :D well done pale)) you rocks!
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