Good Bird, a Three Legged Dog, Mindless Trivia, and Local Radio Personality Scorch; Just Your Typical Wednesday Night with the Toast

Well, its been a little bit since I have written quality Toastedblog material; some of my audience may be racking their brains right now to see if there is actually one entry that could actually be labeled "quality". However, today's subject has some merit, trust me. How do I know?? Have you ever heard of the Wednesday night patio party at the Beginning II?? Oooh, hurts so good!!

Anywho, the day began yesterday with the Toast here all amped up for the Sox v. Orioles on ESPN and a possible rendezvous with Willie Moe Emerson for some eats and ESPN MLB 2K5 (my latest and greatest purchase). However, I was met with early disappointment seeing as how the Sox game was all set for rain delay by the time I went to watch Sportscenter. Soon, we see that the rain in Boston did not stop and the game was postponed for a later date. Talk about a tremendous dang it. Here I was all set to watch the Sox in the early afternoon while I did my daily resume sending and trying to find the Toast a new jobby job. But I refused to give up on my Wednesday.

While searching Monster.com and the local Syracuse paper's want ad's, I decided to ask our dear friend Uncle Jitter about his online gaming ability via IM for what I did not tell you was that with my purchase of a new baseball game, I had to go out a get a new PS2 for mine had decided to die on me over the past few months. I blame the 4 foot tumble it took of the top of Danny's TV a few years ago during some drunken football playing or the rogue mission taken by MacGuyver Chuck to personally take it apart and get my PS2 fully functioning again. You see, this new PS2 I picked up is online ready, but now I am getting off track. This was not how this blog was supposed to go here.

But Toast, how is this blog supposed to read exactly?

Well, I will tell you. Jitter and I got to talking for a little bit and all of the sudden one night in particular came up in conversation. Think back to the Lancaster Days following my graduation. Javen, Jitter, you may know explicitly what I am referring to. You see, the Beginning II (BII for future reference) has a killer special on Wednesdays in the spring and summer. For the low low price of about $8 you can go out back on their patio and have an all you can eat and drink BBQ from 6pm-9pm. I don't know about you my internet readers, but the Toast can pack in quite a bit of booze and bird in that amount of time. We all used to hit up this deal, drink as much as we could, and our wonderful personalities got us the ability to be able to take a plate of various meats leftover from the BBQ for some key late night drunken gorging. The one trip to the BII that Jitter brought up was how on the drive to another bar, JD's tavern, and the ride home later that night, I was able to polish off every piece of chicken that we took as leftovers. Jitter had been driving and asked for some delicious bird to munch on. With no chicken in sight, I opted to give him a hot dog. Maybe he wouldn't notice. Angrily, he denied my offer.

This talk struck a nerve with the Toast yesterday and I immediately sprung into action.

" Jitter, do you think that the Patio Parties at BII may have started yet this year??"

Quickly, I called Willie Moe to see what he knew. Finding only off the wall responses of movie quotes from Super Troopers (say Car RamRod) and inane babbling, I figured this may not be the best place for me to have checked. Don't you worry Toastedblog fans, Jitter forwarded me the number to the BII and I placed the call myself. JACKPOT!!! I should warn you, this blog may be trying on the eyes and mind for it is getting pretty long. You Portuguese readers may want to re-bock for this because now we get to the heart of the order. I give you, the run down of my Wednesday evening.

5:30 pm: I drive in the Toasted Jeep to pick up Willie Moe. Only word from Billy Ball is that he will be at Clark's at 8 for trivia. Conversation on the drive over to the BII includes topics such as: gosh, we haven't been to the BII in a while, remember the time that the drunk BOC fan came with us to Trapper's and we disguised him as Jitter's Uncle Jim by tucking in his shirt because he kept saying that they wouldn't allow him in there anymore, hey, Astro Lanes now is called Bella Luna, when did that happen.

6:00 pm- 8:00 pm: Ah, the first beer. There is something new to the BII lineup, door prizes!! They give you ticket when you pay for some drawing held at 8:45, just before the special ends. We don't know what the prizes will be, but I am sure Jitter would discribe this as a fancy play!! Ooh, local radio personality and crappy DJ "Scorch" has decided to grace dive bar goers with his presence. Why wouldn't he be here?? And look, he brought all his fellow radio workers with him, all dressed in their black 105.3 "The Dog" hooded sweatshirts. Speaking of dogs, there is a three legged dog that has decided to familiarize himself with Willie Moe's crotch. Just typical BII behavior right there. Let me tell you though, the spread was phenominal!! We're talking italian sausage, ribs, bird, burgers, dogs, mac salad (a personal favorite), and some questionable looking potato salad. Throw in some endless Miller Lite Draft, you've got some good times. Other highlights to include, some loner at the bar getting all amped up when "Scorch" hands him two free passes to see the hit action movie XXX "State of the Union", only one attractive female in the entire bar and watching local radio personality "Scorch" hitting on her endlessly, crappy NBA playoff talk, running into the father of my rugby teammate Bill "Roofy" Ferris, Willie Moe saying you know that he's a dude when he's drinking a tall Pabst can, trying to apply for the position of Tap Master (the BII has caught on to us just filling multiple beers and stockpiling them at our table for endless free beers following the conclusion of the special and put some dude manning the keg at portions of the evening).

8:00-8:30 pm: Will is cold and he desires pants. That's right Billy Ball, Willie Moe is not wearing pants. We head back to his apartment for a quick stop on the way to trivia. It is here that a cleverly placed phone call from our Uncle Jitter is received, he caught us early in our drunkening. Random banter is passed to and fro and in the end Willie Moe and lady friend Jaime follow the Toast to meet Billy at Clark's for weekly Team Bo Hall trivia.

8:30-11:30 pm: Ok, this is where we get interesting. Walk into Clark's and not gonna lie to you, have a bit of a buzz working. Slamming 10 miller lites will do that to ya. We meet up with Billy, Rage Cage, Billy's sister Kate and her Wed Tilliams hating, plus her man friend, and let us not forget tasty screamers and a recent Toasted favorite, the Prior Double Dark. I instantly clash with Billy Ball in his response to the question of how old was Ronald Reagan when he was elected president in 1980. (I told him that Reagan was 70) Anywho. we just get louder at a packed house there at Clarks and not to brag, we did pretty well. I get ragged on a bit for believing that we have second place locked up following the last round of trivia, and we ended up placing fourth. Not a tremendous dang it but one can never argue when they give you a gift certificate for placing third or better. We continue to stay for a few more beers and good conversation. Really, just fun rambling at this point. We make fun of Billy's brother, the infamous Beach Justice, make fun of the Toast and his joblessness (I keep telling myself that they didn't mean it) and plenty of sweet beautiful drunk talk. Its what we're good at. Well, that and sports. Ooh Ooh, lets not forget movie quotes. And Kate's man friend is a Radiohead fan, that topic will get the Toast all riled up every time. This is the point in the evening where the Toast and his memory get a little hazy. Oooh, the Toast's computer just started to play "Lay Your Hands on Me" by the Jov. Excuse me while I rock out for a few minutes. Let's turn this one up a bit.

11:30 pm-2:00am: Right here is the secret beauty of unemployment. The midnight hour. While others decide to go to bed, I can continue to rap, get weird, whatever. Tonight, I decide that I am not quite finished with beers and I help myself to a delicious Molson from the fridge whilst I enjoy a few episodes of "Arrested Development". The following lines send me into a frenzy:

Lucille: Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.

Buster: [about Lucille] It's like she gets off on being witholding.
Michael: Whoa. Buster.
Gob: Look who's got something to say.
Buster: [impersonating Lucille] I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself. [everyone laughs]
Gob: Look who's ragging on the old lady.
Buster: Cause I'm an uptight [long bleep]
Buster: Buster [Long bleep]
Buster: ... you old horny slut!
Michael: [pause] Well, no one's going to top that.

Tobias Funke: [footage of Tobias trying on a speedo with his cut-offs on] Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?

Well, that's about it, just a quick rundown of last night's events. Not half bad I think. In other Toasted news this Saturday our rugby team is having a fundraiser at the Syracuse Suds Factory. It goes from 2-6pm and for $10 you get in, all the food and drink you want, we're going to have door prizes, raffles, live entertainment I guess, and what every fundraiser needs, 25 drunk rugby players with all of their friends. I've asked a few people if they had plans this Saturday, if you're up for it, let me know. That's it, I'm out for know. Keep it real!!

What could possibly make you think that late night Taco Bell is ever a good idea??

Ok, I know that I have done many a stupid things over the past few years and true, much of it has come as an obvious reaction to an excess of alcohol consumption, but I have no idea what possesed me to make such a hasty and rash decision last night. What was that life altering choice you ask?? Did you knock out a fellow motorist and flee the scene in his Ford Focus?? No. What'd ya do Toast; club some baby seals?? No dice. Actually, I'll tell you what's up. Yesterday. I voluntarily went to Taco Bell. Doh!!


Oh, hurts so good.

Now, when I say that I went to Taco Bell, I mean I REALLY went to Taco Bell. I mean, I gorged on that grade D taco meat and was NOT shy with the hot sauce packets. I'm not going to lie to you my Toastedblog readers, I decided to visit the local Bell in an altered condition (with a few beers) and I do feel that my reasoning may have been affected. But I really took the idea and ran with it though.

Wednesday Night, 12:47 am: I zoom up to the drive-thru with a cigarette in hand and the new Beck album blasting in my Jeep. At this point in time I am still really wondering what the hell I am doing here and am seriously contemplating driving off to just eat something at home. Part of me is fully aware of what the horrible outcome will be when I wake tomorrow and feel like someone has just played the worst prank on me imaginable and taken away my ability to properly digest food. This, almost two full weeks after April Fool's. The bastards!! But, I continue and now I'm up to order. So what do I do??? Well, seeing as how I haven't eaten since that english muffin for breakfast I naturally do the classic over-order. Either it was the glance out of the corner of my eye or it was the blazing lights that surrounded its perimeter but I was drawn to the Big Bell Value Menu.

Toast: Yeah, I'll go with the spicy chicken burrito, no wait make that two. Yeah, and the spicy chicken taco, I can do that. Ooh ooh, and the beef and bean burrito, I'm pretty sure I can handle that too. Make sure you throw in a bunch of those hot sauces.

Taco Bell Associate: Would you like anything to drink?

Toast: No thanks, I have beers at home.

That was my order, verbatim. I head home with my sack o' crap and immediately throw Arrested Development in the DVD player. Run to the fridge, crack open a beer, and tear into awful mexican food like drunk Willie Moe on Scooter's COP pizza. Here I was laughing hysterically at Buster explaing to GOB about hermano being Spanish for brother by saying "Hey Hermano" and mimicking a shoulder rub; all while dumping hot sauce over every portion of chicken burrito and shoveling it in my mouth. It is during nights like these that you notice some pretty awesome talents that you didn't know that you had no idea that you possessed. For instance, did you know that I can eat a taco in two bites. Yeah, neither did I. Amazing.

Needless to say that after that meal I only had enough energy to watch another episode and a half before I was out like a light. And not to disturb those readers with weaker stomachs but I was correct in my assumption in what the food would do to me the morning after. Dammit, I hate being right. Stupid tacos!! But damn did they taste good!!

In other current Toasted news, I am heading down to Montauk, Long Island for the Northeast Regional Rugby Playoffs this weekend. My team, the Syracuse Chargers, come in ranked No. 1 and have a first round bye. Not half bad. Should be a good weekend from what the others are saying. I'm just looking to have a few beers, a few laughs, a few what-have-you's. That and playin' some good rugby. This is going on while a bunch of the boys (Tommy, Javen, Dunford, Possible Willie Moe) are heading up to Montreal for a few days. I'm definately missing out on a good time. Smoked meats, 7 cent (Canadian) chicken wings, Aquarium sized pitchers of Canadian Beer (which we all know is like moonshine), strip clubs, Ste. Catherine's St, possible Jose Theodore sightings; how can I give all that up?

How can this season be so "Cold Blooded"??

Hey internet faithful, today it helps to say a certain portion of our Toastedblog title as one of the hilarious characters here, but I may not need to tell y'all that. I know Billy will understand, he's heard the voice many a times, especially after made three pointers that were vehemently opposed to by my lovable teammate. Cooold Blooded.

So Toast; why cold blooded? Well the answer to that is simple. Been on bit of a binge of late and starting to feel a little groggy. Cooold Blooded. Thanks to good pals and "drinking while watching sports" enthusiasts Javen and Danny coming into town, "Dr. Chaos" Phelps himself being on break from Med School, and my new-found, free from employment status has left me to explore the many different options available to the beer enthusiast. However, I have gotten a few job offers.

What's that you say Toast? You gonna go enjoy a few beers after rugby practice on Tuesday?? Sounds good. Clark's trivia on Wednesday?? Sho 'nuff!! How 'bout a few beers at the rink bar after playing hockey late Thursday night. You've earned it seeing as how you've been skating for the last few hours. Not to mention that you also had rugby today. Hell, I'll have more than a couple!! Throw that in with getting Phelpsed with Willie Moe and Oregon Tracy on Friday and an all night escapade while enjoying the Final Four. Still, we have opening night in baseball. Sox and C.O.P., double dang it!!


PortuGOAL, be on the lookout for this man for he may be at large in your area. Unfortunately, he isn't here.

Anywho, I'm starting to slow down a bit and looking forward to a much needed break here on Monday. Who'da thought that unemployment would be so hard. Still, the job hunt continues and the tedious task of interviewing will hopefully find an end soon. I can't keep this up. In related news, my desk belongings recently arrived at my door as well as another paycheck. Soon I will be rid of my former employer for good and I don't think I could be happier. Well, actually I could. Do you think that we could get Trot Nixon to hit two homeruns for me tonight?