Puttin' Asses in the Seats!!!

After a week of workin' hard, playin' hard, hectic work environments, dang it's galore, Quicken (thanks for that Willie Moe, whenever I think of Quicken I think of George Michael's birthday), conducting work related webinars with such topics as system upgrades, too much coffee, and other oddities, I'd like for nothing more than to go home, "relax", hit the couch in jammy jams, listen to some tunes until The Office and 30 Rock are on (that is unless Comcast decides to showcase the Bruins game against Ottawa), and enjoy cookin' me up a Toast speciality, Chicken Parm. I've got mozz cheese, bread crumbs, and everything. HOT DAMN!!!

Say....Who's got two thumbs, is a little stressed out, misses his Kool-Aid, and looking to hit the bricks for the day??? THIS GUY!!! /does the waaay played out double thumb point to himself. Loser.

Day Full O' Dang It's

Yesterday, the Monday following the Super Bowl, was dang it filled. Audience, this is not a good thing. Had it been reverse dang it filled, then we have something completely different on our hands. But day was not loaded to the gills with cheese steaks, nor did it feature the Toast finding some much desired free loot. Hell, I didn't even get groped in the elevator at work. Instead, I was fortunate enough to bear through the following. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, my day full o' dang its.

Dang It 1: Monday's dang its start early, alarm doesn't go off and I wake up at about 8am. Did I mention that I have a heap of shit to attend to at work, including an online Quickbooks training that starts bright and early?? I didn't??? Well, I had a heap of shit to attend to at work, including an online Quickbooks training that starts bright and early.

Dang It 2: Following the norm, which is a shave free weekend, I am in need of a clean shave only to discover that I am out of shave gel. I am forced to let loose a bar of soap to tackle my three days worth of stubble. This is not comfortable in the least and I now sport the severe razor burn to prove it.

Dang It 3: At this point in the morning I continue my Toastie Detox Jam '09 and take these cleansing pills that aid in the "process" if you get my drift. My recent work travels had me out of sorts for a few days. The return to Detox Jam '09 by consuming these cleansing pills open the flood gates as they say. I proceed to shit my brains out for a good ten minutes. By the way, I still haven't left for work yet and its about 9am.

Dang It 4: Looks like I'm not the only one late this morning as traffic is wicked. Not a good wicked ("Oh man, these potato skins are wicked!!!") More like witch of the west type wicked. This is not good for all involved, namely me.

Dang It 5: I need to get gas so I stop. I proceed to fill my tank but disregard pumping stoppage when I fail to hear the gas tank close off valve do it's work. Gas starts flooding the ground at my feet and just rushing out of the Passat with no name. I now smell like a varying grade of super unleaded as gas has gotten all over my hands and pant leg. Oh, that'll be good for business.

Dang It 6: Remember when I mentioned that I had a online training to attend? Well, this one sort of worked out as I read the time wrong and the class actually begins at 9:30 central, making it 10:30 am Toast Time. Although, you didn't think I could get away with it that easily did you?? Well, I didn't. The company that provides the training fails to send me the link to access the class and the phone number to dial in for the teleconference. 30 minutes later, all spent with customer service, I gain the required information and join up with class already in progress.

Dang It 7: I am now forced to sit through 8 plus hours of Quickbooks information. Sigh.....

Dang It 8: Stupid Toastie Detox Jam '09. I have to eat a salad for lunch and since I'm eating lunch at like 3pm because of this class, there is nothing left at the salad bar to choose from so I eat lettuce with carrots, peppers and onions. This isn't buffalo chicken nachos at all.

Dang It 9: Even though I have signed up for this training class, this does not give the Toast a get out of work free card. It is 6:45 at night and now I start what work I need to complete for tomorrow.

Dang It 10: I find out over the phone that a good friend is going through a rough patch with his special lady. The ever dreaded uber dang it!! I won't make any jokes about this; this kind of stuff sucks. I do my best to just offer to be there for a chat should it be needed. That being said, I want to find a weekend that I can head out his way for a visit. He lives in Boston, and I'm always up for a trip to Beantown. We'll just have to see whats in the the cards through the next few weeks as Boston isn't exactly around the corner. If I can swing a day off or two from work, I'll definitely do it.

Dang It 11: This is me being somewhat selfish. Kool-Aid is going through a rough patch at work, being that she works in HR and her company is currently executing a few "changes" at the office place. So, she's been working 'round the clock and been stressed out to the max. Why am I mentioning this?? Well, after a long day I'd like to be able to hang out with Kool-Aid and just forget about what ails us. Kool-Aid doesn't get home well after I, like 9:30 at night type of stuff. This is after she has been going into work all weekend and working super long hours for a few weeks now. And when we do hang around together, she's too burnt out or stressed out to really be there. It's frustrating, and difficult, and an all around dang it as I basically spent this last weekend, in it's entirety, alone. I know I shouldn't complain, and it's not her choosing. But what is this blog if it's not a place to just write shit out, vent, what-have-you. I remain, sitting idly by and taking it all with a grain of salt.

Well, there you have it. By the time I got home all that I was able to do for myself was to eat a couple of leftover peanut m&m's from the Super Bowl for dinner and watch a few episodes of 30 Rock to get me to forget about the crap day that I had. Oh, these dang it's don't stop here either. I forgot my lunch at home this morning. Faaaantastic. Eh...here's to keep on keepin' on I guess. It can't be all bad right??

Obey Your Mother!

Hey all!!! Sorry, haven't been around so much of late. Been wicked ass busy with work and Toastie's Detox Jam '09 has me running around being active and lifting heavy stuff during my evenings. It's not all bad though, I've lost 11 lbs and I've shattered my personal record of the number of times I can go No. 2 in one day at work. So I say once again, FUCK YOU TOXINS!!

But this post isn't about that. In this shameless bit of friend promotion, go check out the following website.

www.recyclemoe.com

Recyclemoe.com is a side business of my friend Moe, who currently resides in Burlington, VT with live-in man friend, and one of my better friends from college, Big Marky Badass. Moe is out there trying to make the world a better place using only her knack for all things awesome. I mean, look at those monster hats....you tellin' me you wouldn't want one of those. I tell you what, the Toast here is looking forward to one of those cassette tape wallets. I hope mine's a Bob Seger tape, HOT DAMN!!!

I'll learn you some mean QuickBooks let me tell you.

So...the past few days here at the office have been a whirlwind of activity as I have been doing what we Toasts do best; and that is, simply put, kickin' ass and takin' names. We've recently had a few folks come here to "Corporate" this week and, as per my job discription, I had to go out there and wow them with my mastery of my company's processes and various systems. Train them if you will.

Now, with the recent departure of one of our team members here, my position has brought to the Toast a few new roles, and a few opportunitites for advancement if these things go well. One of these new roles is to become our teams foremost QuickBooks and Accounting guru as our recent departure was pretty much heading that campaign as he was a former CPA. Well, I have had some experience with QuickBooks before (I knew what it was) and I can balance a checkbook (I am horrible with money). Most importantly, the Toast is a go-getter so when presented this opportunity to add on to my extremely vital role here as a Corporate stooge I took it without hesitation.

I now hold in my possession a solid two weeks of QuickBooks knowledge and this past Tuesday was my first opportunity to train franchisees and their office managers in the program and how it is to be used with our processes and systems. Not gonna lie to you my internet readers, I BOMBED!!!!! It's amazing that something you can seem to have a firm grasp of and can almost do blindfolded at your desk can instantly turn into a foreign language when you are alone in a conference room with a group of strangers they're hanging on your every word as this is going to be their life, their business.

Now, I know hindsight is 20-20 and looking back I can pick up on so many things I did wrong and what I won't do again as basically I let the training presentation get out of my hands and before I knew what happened it turned into a bunch of guys sitting around my laptop looking at the projected computer image on the wall wondering why we couldn't transfer invoices uttering phrases like: "Here try this" or "See what happens when you look at the chart of accounts under the reports tab". As exciting as that lingo sounds, its surprising how it can get you flustered when things just aren't going your way. When my long ass day was finished I couldn't wait to just drink a beer on my front steps so I could put this garbage day behind me.

Following a conversation with my boss yesterday I did feel much better about how my first run with this turned out. I also got to meet up with this group before they headed out as well, just to go through everything one more time and address any questions. You see folks, when things don't go as planned with me (as they can do), I tend to beat myself up for it, pretty bad sometimes, and Tuesday's first QB run was definitely one of those times. My boss, (who's a fellow athelete) put it in terms that I can relate to and we discussed how I just need to not worry about it, go back out there, and do it again. To learn from mistakes and take what you can from them. When you are in the wrong position on the ice and allow a goal to be scored because your man was uncovered, you remember that and next time you are in a similar sitiation, you know what to do and can prevent it. Not back covering when the scrum half boots it 40 meters over the heads of your back line, you remember that scenario and do your best to be ready for it when it happens later in the second half. You know what internet audience, G.D. QuickBooks is the same thing, and the Toast, well he'll be fuckin' ready!!

Duly Noted

It should be known that, aside from just being plain ol' awesome, I also grill up some of the most kick ass burgers the world has ever seen!!! We're talkin' some 1/2 pounders here!! Pat them together with some diced onions and garlic, throw them on your good friend the charcoal grill, serve with corn on the cob and some homemade mac salad; "OH MAMA" is right!!! Dem sumbitches are/were off the chain!!

Is it that obvious that I don't have that much to report today?? In other news, I have shin splints from a heap o' hill running of late and tonight I am going to see the Nats take on the Mets. Stop the presses right??