Eat Shit Cancer!!!

Jon Lester threw a no-hitter for the Sox last night as they beat the Royals at Fenway 7-0 and it probably couldn't happen to a better person in the majors. Lester, only 24, has already had to go through so much in his young career and as the day goes on you folks out there will continually hear about his overcoming of non-Hodgkins lymphoma since being diagnosed just 21 months ago. Terry Francona probably has put it best though in one of his many responses to Lester's heroics last night:

"He's not just a good kid because he threw a no-hitter," Terry Francona said. "He's a good kid because he's a good kid."

Lester's No-No last night seems to begin to cement his knack for extraordinary events since his emotional return to playing ball. I mean, he won his first game back in that July night last summer in Cleveland, pitched the World Series clinching Game 4 last fall in Colorado, and finally culminating last night in a No-Hitter in front of a sold out Fenway Park and with the Red Sox Nation glued to their sets at home. The Lefty was consistantly throwing first pitch strikes and hitting 94, 95, even 96 mph with his fastball, showing tremendous command with all of his pitches walking only two (one in the ninth) and striking out a career high nine batters. Hell, he's beaten cancer. I think that can also be classified as extraordinary; don't you??

I came into the game last night at about the third inning or so following a trip to the gym and had it on in the background whilst I made some quite delicious chicken marsala. The game already pretty much at hand as the Sox were up 5-0 and we were greeted with a Varitek homer in the 6th as Kool-Aid and I sat down to eat some damn tasty bird. From there on out, Kool-Aid and I intenetly watched every pitch while the Fenway crowd remained standing until the final out in support of Lester.

But the moment of the evening came after Lester recorded the final out and after the traditional jumping all over the pitcher at the mound in celebration. As Lester began hugging his way through all of his teammates, he then came upon Manager Terry Francona and the two seemed to embrace each other as almost father and son. Tito went so far as to call Lester his son with a class that seems to be growing in Francona each day.

"This probably isn't fair to say, but I feel like my son graduated and my son threw a no-hitter," said Francona, whose son Nick had graduated from Penn earlier in the day, and who had grown close to Lester during his ordeal.

Francona continued: "To watch him do that tonight was beyond words. What a story. You feel like a proud parent. We're proud of him all the time but to watch him do that tonight was beyond words. I tried to put it into words but it's hard because -- what a story."

"It's something I'll remember for a long time," said Lester. "I've been through a lot the last couple of years. He's (Francona) been like a second dad to me, It was just a special moment right there. "He cares a lot about his players. It's not just about what you can do on the field."

Last night was something that Red Sox fans, and all baseball fans alike will cherish and talk about for some time to come. Just a few months after pitching the clinching game of the World Series, the cancer survivor Lester, who's still just a kid, goes out and pitches a no-hitter. Basically, its inspirational stuff for the ages. Today, the Toast feels good and so should you.

What are your Desert Island 5?

Ok, we all have them and since I'm not really in all that much of a writing mood, nor a thinking one, let's just see what five albums you'd have to have if stranded on a desert island. Special bonus points for any Phil Collins takers. Losers.

1. "The Bends", Radiohead
2. "London Calling", The Clash (Honorable Mention: "Sandinista")
3. "Quadrophenia", The Who
4. "Ten", Pearl Jam
5. "Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea", PJ Harvey

Shenanigans

Just a recap of random goings on. Have a good weekend.

- Radiohead completely dranched the shit out of me last sunday. Not once did the torrential downpour let up. Five hours of being cold and soaked to the core has rendered me ill the past few days. They still put on a pretty decent show especially when I was hit up with a little Karma Police and Fake Plastic Trees during the encore. However, it will always be remembered for the weather that was endured. Why Virginia...why??

- Nothing cures Friday afternoon boredom like a giant bag of peanut butter M&M's.

- Yesterday I kinda parked a little too close to a pickup on the street in front of my apartment. In response to this, the corrola was met with a note that simply said: "Fuck You"! Alright pal; take a look at yourself. Now give yourself an open handed slap to the mouth. You live in a large city with a high population and you've never been boxed in a tiny bit before. Grow up Peter Pan..Count Chocula.

- the other day Kool-Aid and I hit up a Chipper here in Old Town. Now this place, called Eamonn's, labeled itself as a true Dublin Chipper. Would a true Dublin Chipper serve you Guiness in a plastic cup?? For shame Eamonn's...for shame.

- I've been without internet at home since Sunday and after I strategically placed a call to tech support the earliest that they can send a tech to come get me back online and thus meet my daily at home internet needs is this Sunday morning at 9am. Fucking Comcast.

- Chef Boy-Ar-Dee is some pretty tasty shit and works wonders when you are in a pinch and need something for lunch, especially when it was purchased on sale so your pantry is loaded to the gills with Mr. Boy-Ar-Dee's finest. Today I had the mini ravioli's with meatballs. Absolutely Exquisite.

- I am attempting to win a go-kart in a at-work raffle for a company sponsored carnival that takes place on Sunday. This is me with my fingers crossed.

- Over the past few weeks I couldn't tell you the amount of ice cream that I have eaten. Kool-Aid and I have gone out for ice cream, both visiting places ranging from the corporate spectrum like Maggie Moo's to local favorites in The Dairy Godmother, or just eating a shitload of chipwiches and Ben and Jerry's at home. This recent trend does not bode well for beach season.

- Any film that features the incomperable Kurt Russell has its chances of being awesome increased at least three fold. Recent random Russell films viewed include:

"Death Proof" (which, of the Grindhouse flicks, was much better than "Planet Terror")

"The Thing" (A fucking classic)

"Tombstone" (Kilmer was the balls as Doc Holliday)

"Big Trouble in Little China" (Russell as Jack Burton: "When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the bar room wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail.")

Dem shits is all sorts of bad ass!!

That's it, that's all, that's all there is. SHA-ZAMM!!

Oh....Hello There.

This morning I sort of took my sweet ass time getting moving prior to work. I stayed under the covers far longer than normal after my daily Kool-Aid wake up attempt. I rolled around and hid my head under the blankeys attempting to grasp five more minutes of sleepies. I contemplated shaving for a bit and just stood in front of the mirror before I just went ahead and made myself pretty for the day at the office. My typical shower time was extended three fold as I just didn't feel like getting out from underneath the ever so relaxing and soothing warmer than warm shower water. I debated for about 5 minutes on what shirt and pants combo I was going to choose to strut around in all day for the ladies (and some gentlemen) at the workplace. Because of this there did come a time in my daily routine that some things had to get skipped and that was, what rumor has, the most important thing of the day...a balanced breakfast.

Traditionally the Toast just grabs him a little lunch baggie full of frosted mini wheats and a bananna as he heads out the door for the morning commute to beautiful Bethesda. However, with Radiohead on Sunday night and the early part of the week chock full o' activity there has been no time to re-up on some breakfast supplies so this morning I just ran out the door with my laptop and gym bag and assumption that breakfast today would have to take a backseat to some skillful driving in order to make it to work "relatively" on time. About halfway into my journey I began to feel those hunger pangs that made me wish that I hadn't stayed in bed until it became absolutely necessary to get out from under the covers. I sort of wished that I hadn't contemplated shaving for those precious minutes, extended my shower time three fold, or even debated internally for that spot of time on what stupid work clothes to wear and instead just threw on what ever was clean or whatever was next in the standard Toast work-wear rotation. I was damn hungry and at this point there was nothing that I could really do about it.

So I walked into my building not eating the bananna that I normally would from the walk to the parking lot to the front door. I began to approach the section of our office suite where my particular office is located without the baggie of mini wheats that I am accustomed to take down with my morning coffee while I check email and any blog activity. I turn on the light in my office after opening the door and I go to fetch my laptop out of my bag when I see what could only be seen as a gift from the heavens above placed strategically where my lappy is rested daily. What is this fanciest of plays you ask?? Well...simply put, a shmuffin.


Normally I would have preferred a crossantz but one in my situation cannot be a begger nor a chooser and sometimes you just can't get what you want but you just might find that you get what you need. Oh...blessed are you Sheetz customers that I work with. The Toast is certainly over joyed to have you in the office. Now, if you'll excuse me, this shmuffin is not going to take care of itself.

"You have not been..Paying Attention"

I'm going to see fucking Radiohead; I almost forgot!! It just plain ol' slipped my mind but the Toast and a bevy of assorted ladies and gents get to go check out Radiohead this weekend. Kinda wish it wasn't a Sunday evening show as I have a big, day long pow-wow of a meeting downtown on Monday at 8AM. Can't call in sick to that one I'm afraid. Maybe I'll just tell all dem co-workers I hopped on the wrong metro. Hopefully Kool-Aid can still do that killer metro operator impression.

"Please stand back..doors open on the left." oooh.....(fingers crossed)

You'd have thought that with all of the trouble that went into getting these seats I'd be a little more aware of the goings on. I just hope that I am able to walk on Sunday as us rugby boys have our final game of the spring season on Saturday afternoon and it can come no sooner as I am already having a heap of trouble walking around. Just looking forward to a bit o' rest I suppose. Now where I was I? Oh yeah. RADIOHEAD...WOOO!!!!

"I learned fried chicken at the school of hard knocks."

The Toast is an awfully busy man and because of this fact I miss a ton of shit: i.e. birthdays, frequent bat mitzfahs, proper restroom breaks, the McRib for a limited time only, and most importantly, popular music and television. Now, sometimes this isn't such a bad thing, American Idol I'm looking your way on this one. But every once in a while being a man about town with two hundred things to do will cause you to miss some of the worth whiles out there. Good thing that technology has a way to get around some of these instances.

About two weeks ago the Toast made himself a nice little purchase from Amazon; that being the first season of "30 Rock" on DVD. Now, I had experienced this show a few times before but had never really given it the proper attention that a show of this magnitude requires. We'll blame the Thursday evening rugby practices for my lack of devotion..and all the sports watching and drinking that can also take up my highly precious time. Now, from what I had seen previous to this clutch buy I had found particularly hilarious so this wasn't one of those impulse grabs that we Toasts are known for; plus it had a little bit of Tina Fey, which is never gonna hurt nerds like me.

Well, ever since this online purchase I have been sucking down episodes of "30 Rock" like dino nuggets. Presently I am two dvd's down with one to go and when I run out, its all tremendous dang it for this guy as I'm going to have to wait and watch episodes one week at a time like some sort of chump. No idea what I am going to do then. Anywho, the interactions between the head writer character Fey and the eccentric executive character Alec Baldwin are priceless and really make the show. One of my favorites includes Jack Donaghy (Baldwin) explaining to Liz Lemon (Fey) why he can't get rid of the beeper he bought from her beeper salesman boyfriend: "I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983." Fuck it, any time Baldwin is on the screen you're most likely about to see something funny. I'll add a case in point here in a few, if I have internet at home that is.

**sidenote**I fucking hate comcast and their ability to have non-working internet service about 67% of the time.

Realistically there are so many other portions of the show that make it great, especially when this seems to be a time in which there are few comedies on television even worth my time (opinion of course). From the fact that Fey's character spends half of the episodes talking about food (sandwiches!) and getting drunk, to frequent hilarious guest spots like Will Arnett (GOB) as Donaghy's homosexual archnemesis, a surprisingly hilarious version of Tracy Morgan, multiple references to star wars which is always comedy gold for it's nerd like fan base, and that flashback humor that pops up every now and then which appeals to the no attention span side of me, this show has got it working in all the right spots. It's entertaining, smart, chock full o' hilarious writing, great supporting cast, and hits you with stuff that makes you think or the quick Donaghy one liner. It's pretty safe to say that: "I love me this show so much, I want to take "30 Rock" behind the middle school, and get it pregnant."


**Update**
To go with my Donaghy talk from earlier

Kickass albums of my younger days: Live's "Throwing Copper"

The Toast loves music, dig?? Also, the Toast grew up during the grunge era of music so it should be known that I am far more experienced in picking out fucking awesome beats than about 83% of the rest of the internet. So the Toastedblog staff here has decided to go ahead and put together I nice little recurring post type thing that goes back and references all of the kick ass shit that I grew up with, took chances during my teenage years with, and still to this day rock fairly regularly. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, KICKASS ALBUMS OF MY YOUNGER DAYS.

Seems weird that I start off a segment about kickass music with a post dedicated to a Live album as the past few years and albums have not done much for the "rockin'" cred (I mean, have you listed to one of their latest "Songs of Black Mountain"?), but back in the early and mid 90's this band knew how to get shit done. And I'm not talking about songs like "Lightning Crashes", which is a little mushy for all the teen angst I was ridden with. I'm talking about rockin' tunes like "Iris" and "White, Discussion", and fucking "Stage". Even when they had songs that were about to hit you with some feelings, they kinda rocked (see "I Alone" below).

It's easier not to be wise
And measure these things by your brains
I sank into eden with you
Alone in the church by and by

I'll read to you here, save your eyes
You'll need them, your boat is at sea
Your anchor is up, youve been swept away
And the greatest of teachers wont hesitate
To leave you there, by yourself,
Chained to fate

I alone love you
I alone tempt you
I alone love you
Fear is not the end of this!

It's easier not to be great
And measure these things by your eyes
We long to be here by his resolve
Alone in the church by and by
To cradle the baby in space
And leave you there by yourslef
Chained to fate

Oh, now, we took it back too far,
Only love can save us now, all these riddles that you burn
All come runnin back to you, all these rhythms that you hide
Only love can save us now, all these riddles that you burn
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I know what you're saying: "You're kidding me right??". and it's true, a lot of their lyrics are a bit preachy and, in times, kinda corny. But in the end, these York, PA boys were able to pull it off. At times I don't know why or how really and if I had the ability to get onto youtube here at the office you can give it a ganders yourself and you too internet reader will see why. After all is said and done though, a teenaged Toast could just throw this album on and rock his "problems" away. "Throwing Copper" should and will continue to be cranked up to 11.

We're Re-Listing Dang Its People!!

This past saturday had the Toast traveling up Baltymore way as my rugby team was slated to play in a day long tournament known by the locals as the North Bay Cup. Day long tournaments are great. You just hang out all day and play fucking rugby, that's it. The only problem with it is...you just hang out all day and play fucking rugby. And when I say all day, I mean all. day. long. Our first match of the day started at 10:30am and by the time we had completed taking the final game and winning the tournament it was 8:00pm.

We're talking four full games of rugby people...all in one day on a field that was so hard that it felt like playing on a poorly paved parking lot; every time you hit the deck you felt it. So, needless to say that I am still a little worse for the wear; banged up if you will. Not gonna lie to you my lovely internet readers, the Toast is straight up whiny. Presently I'm featuring a laundry list of injuries and such that has me all hop-along here at the office this morning and getting met with questions of if I'm ok and inquiries wondering what I really do with my weekends.

A quick rundown of what ails me:
-I dislocated the ring finger on my right hand
-twisted my previously bum wheel, right knee has a bit more trouble than the everyday trouble it normally has and is used to
-inability to fully straighten my right arm or lift it any higher than my shoulder
-when attempting to look from side to side I must keep my head straight as my neck won't allow simple movements, basically, I turn around like a superhero (i.e. batman sans cape)
-a pretty fierce scrape and deep bruise the size of a five pound ham on my left hip to go along with the dozen others per aforementioned field conditions

Also, at one point I had to take a minute for the first time ever playing rugby in result of a hit. I've never really had to do that before. Basically taking a minute in rugby is exactly what it sounds like. Rugby, like soccer, has a the clock continuously running and spot subs are not made. So, following the hit, and I mean I was absolutely blasted a few seconds following a pass that I made, I had the wind knocked completely out of me and spent a minute or two just gathering myself while taking a knee. From then on out, I spent the remainder of the game looking for a window of opportunity to line up the party responsible for the cheap shot. Kool-Aid has since done her best in these dire times by giving me the back rub that pretty much blows all other back rubs out of the water last night. She can be awful fierce when it comes to fixing all of the man-friend's rugby related back issues. "Oh mama...hurts so good" was all that could be said.

With all that complaining thrown out at you, let me get to the good stuff. We did end up winning this tournament in North Bay and we looked pretty good doing so, aside from our second match of the day against a team from Brooklyn; the team we ended up meeting again and defeating in the finals. By the time I got back home after a few beers at the post-tourney drink up it was shortly after 10pm and Kool-Aid was there waiting with some frozen pizza (JACKPOT!!) following her day at a horse race with her lady pals called the Gold Cup. And I also got to take in another viewing of one of my faves, "28 Days Later" (Two words, FUCK. and YES.). 2/3rds a frozen pizza after a long day of rugby and a sweet Danny Boyle flick to go with it, that's going to scratch you right where you itch.

This tournament pretty much signals the end of the spring rugby season as we only have a week left of practice and a friendly match against a superleague team down here in DC this coming weekend. Not really looking forward to the end of the season but it will give me some spare time for my other awesome tasks and pursuits: ultimate frisbee, teaching kool-aid how to golf, getting some hiking in, continuing my struggle in learning how to play tennis, etc. Plus, the ice hockey league that I am in has just started up again for the summer so I'll have that to look forward to. Don't worry about me folks, there's plenty to get up for. Whoop Whoop!!

"Right near da beach..BOY-eee!!"

Currently the Toast is doing a nice bit of planning as a scheduled trip is in the works. That's right kids...Kool-Aid and the Toast are beach bound as a weekend in Virginia Beach is all the rage and the haps for Memorial Day. Word on the street is that we're looking at taking off on Thursday afternoon putting us down in Virginia Beach hopefully by the early evening, all primed for hitting up a nice seafood joint so I can get my crab eatin' on. Throw in a day and a half at Busch Gardens with the rolleycoasters and this seems to have the makings of a nice little long weekend here.

In preparation I have been spending a bit of time researching Virginia Beach online just to get an idea on what to expect as I have yet to head down that-a-ways as I am still in the infancy stage of my Virginia residency. All in all it's none to shabby but I guess I'd be saying that about any vacation resort type place that plans to feature Kool-Aid primarily bikini-clad. Rolleycoasters, seafood, beach time'in, Kool-Aid in provacative attire..looks like everything is coming up Casey!! ACES!

Early on today all that I pretty much understood about the Virginia Beach area is that it features a boardwalk and our hotel is on the ocean front. Yup...that's it, there's a beach to lie on. You know what that means, burnt Toast..HA! Anywho, following a bit of poking around, I have discovered that it is a richly historic area (as most in Virginia are, or at least seem to be) and that it is surpisingly well populated. I thought that it was just going to be some high class, but smaller beach community. Nowhere did I invision what Wikipedia told me; 435,000 people with hundreds of hotels and miles of beaches...what's the deal??

In any event, this little getaway should be a damn good time. A couple days of relaxing on the beach, maybe take in a few of the local sites, and surprisingly, have my first trip with Koo-Aid to a theme park. Who's the big winner?? This guy!!

**As a special bonus today I have just been informed that Kool-Aid has acquired three of the Toast's unofficial second favorite treat (the white chocolate macadamia nut cookie) from some function at her office. If there is no hill running at rugby practice tonight I will most assuredly rest easy this evening as today has truly made me the king of kings.

"Get your patchouli stink outta my store!!"

It's no lie that one of my favorite movies of all time is "High Fidelity" and just the other day I finished reading up a copy of Nick Hornsby's novel that I recently purchased at the used book store down the street from me here in Old Town Alexandria. Well, in both book and movie our hero and main character, Rob Fleming (Gordon is his last name in the film), is the owner of a fledgling record store and to not only pass down time at work, but even time of hardship in his life, he makes top 5 lists covering a wide array of topics ranging from top 5 track one,side one singles to top 5 breakups, the latter of which pretty much becomes the plot.

As I reread the book over the next few days I couldn't help finding that I was unconsciously doing the same thing, that is, coming up with my own variety of top 5 lists and now I've decided to share with you folks. The deciding on my favorite songs part was one of the more difficult things that I have ever had to accomplish, and I graduated from private college. Keep in mind internet reader, the following are just opinion and should not be construed as fact. Also, some may end up as top 7's, just roll with it.

Top 5 Movies
- The Big Lebowski
- The Empire Strikes Back
- High Fidelity
- The Incredibles
- The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Top 5 Bands
- Pearl Jam
- Radiohead
- Tool
- the Clash
- the Who


Pearl Jam, "Rearviewmirror"

Top 5 Singles
- "Rearviewmirror", Pearl Jam
- "Fake Plastic Trees", Radiohead
- "The Magnificient Seven", the Clash
- "So Watcha Want", the Beastie Boys
- "Queen Bitch", David Bowie


Bill Murray. FUCK and YES!!

Top 5 Singles (Tier Two)
- "Alive", Pearl Jam
- "Push It", Tool
- "Save it For Later", the English Beat
- "Rainbow Connection", Kermit the Frog
- "Rebubula", moe.

Top 5 TV Shows
- Arrested Development
- The Simpsons
- Seinfeld
- The Muppet Show
- Looney Tunes

Top 5 Guitar Solos
- "Alive", Mike McCready of Pearl Jam
- "Comfortably Numb", David Gilmour of Pink Floyd
- "Paranoid Android", Jonny Greenwood of Radiohead
- "Stash", Trey Anastasio of Phish / "Knights of Cydonia", Matt Bellamy of Muse
- "Third Eye", Adam Jones of Tool


Muse, "Knights of Cydonia"

Top 5 Sandwiches
- turkey on seeded rye
- philly cheese steak with peppers, onions, and mushrooms
- chipwich
- pulled pork sandwich
- plain ice cream sandwich. ate one with lunch in high school almost every day. delicious.

Top 5 ladies I'd want to console me following tragic Kool-Aid loss in bus crash
- Kate Beckinsale
- Jessica Alba
- Tina Fey
- circa mid 90's Meg Ryan
- Liz Phair


Hey!! Kool-Aid wears glasses sometimes too!!

Top 5 Guilty Pleasures
- peanut m&m's
- Huey Lewis and the News (closely followed by George Michael)
- "You've Got Mail"
- Chick Rock (i.e. Liz Phair, PJ Harvey, the Yeah,Yeah,Yeahs)
- dancing when just happy or intoxicated/car singing.


oh..and of course, a little David Lee Roth. I love when the fireworks go off, around the 3:36 mark.

Top 5 Sports Heroes
- Ray Bourque (favorite hockey player of all time)
- Cam Neely (went as far to model my style of play after him)
- Trot Nixon (the original Boston Dirt Dog)
- Mark Bavaro (Giants fans know what I'm talkin' about)
- Phil Simms (88.3 completion percentage in Super Bowl XXI)


Cam Neely

Top 5 Careers
- professional ice hockey player: fuck that'd be awesome. I'd be in great shape, making good bank, not as high profile as other atheletes, maybe even endorse a Canadian beer and we all know that Canadian beer is like moonshine. plus hockey is greatest sport out there.

- paleontologist: what can I say, I like me some dinosaurs.

- music journalist: I like to write, I like beats, why not get paid for both. but not reviewing and listening to the majority of crap out there today. be kinda like Rob in regards to this one.

- own either my own music or book store and having it be successful: Get to hang out and listen to my favorite tunes all day long and its something that I think I would be really good at. Let's face it, I'm a people person and I belong interacting with others. plus, I'd be working for myself and not someone else. oh...and this..suck it online purchasing!!

- own my own bar: see above...but with booze.

Garbage Day!

Quite possibly the finest scene in all of cinema.

400 Babies!!

The Bruins lost their series to Montreal last night and just wanted something to make me happy. This is starting to do the trick.

"So, my cologne is distilled from the bilge of Rupert Murdoch's yacht."

You want to learn somethin' about uncomfortable situations?? Let me hit you with this little scenario. It seems that I am on the daily cycle of going to the bathroom at about quarter after four every afternoon here at the office. Well that's all fine and dandy and everything but it seems that I'm not the only one that makes this standard procedure. Who else joins our hero in this daily practice, why it's our company president that also appears to be on this cycle (see ladies, our cycles can coincide as well). Not only that, he seems to be a bit of a talker at the urinal to boot! So, being already uncomfortable enough standing right next to a corporate big whig with my pants down, I now have to engage in simple pleasantries with him.

Now, I'm not too sure if he's just not that well versed in men's room protocol or if he never got the handbook but standard procedure for us dudes in the bathroom is to just look ahead and do our business...unless you're about 10 beers in and at "insert sporting event here". Then you can talk all you want on a variety of topics. The horrible third down pass that you saw. Why in the hell did they run three consecutive pass plays on the goal line?? Man, that Josh Beckett sure is hurlin' some serious heat tonight!! Did you see the rack that blonde in the beer line?? I can't believe I ate for the "cycle"!!

**Eating for the cycle consists of taking down the following at a Milwaukee Brewers game: hot dog, polish sausage, italian sausage, and bratwurst. I once experienced two friends not only accomplish this feat, but continued eating for a second cycle in one sitting. Unprecedented!!**

However, we are not at "insert sporting event here" and I am certainly not 10 beers in. This is not the time to bring up how my goes at training our new office in Cherry Hill, NJ went. I'm sorry buddy, I don't want to rain on your parade and I don't mean to come down on you. But it's just not my deal, talking in the men's room that is. I'd prefer to make all my bathroom runs at home base if I could. Although I don't seem to have a problem just taking a knee on the rugby pitch and pulling up the right leg of my shorts to take care of business. Ooh....did I take this subject too far??

Everything's all Highs and Lows; Peaks and Valleys.

Just decided to hit the readers up with the haps over the past few days. It's a whirlwind of activity I tells ya!! However, everything is not always gravy in the relm of the Toast. Ladies and gentlemen, the dang it's and their respective reverse dang it's in recent Toast activity; and vice versa.

Reverse Dang It: On Friday night, Kool-Aid and the Toast hit up the brand new Nationals Park for a game against the Braves. It's damn gorgeous outside with the weather all sunny and about 75 degrees. Hell...I even wear short pants with flippety flops.

Dang It'ed: Eating what was known as the half-smoke with the works. We're talking chili, onions, and mustard. Pile on some nachos and a few good time beers it makes for an interesting evening for those seated around you.



Reverse Dang It: Kool-Aid brings me a bucket of KFC to eat while watching the Bruins game on Saturday night as I'm too lazy and dead tired following a few rugby games earlier in the day.

Dang It'ed: Putting down an entire 10 piece bucket of chicken in two sittings. Trust me folks, this should not be attempted....at all costs.

Reverse Dang It: Aforementioned rugby games on Saturday.

Dang It'ed: It's fucking humid as hell outside and Toasts sometimes do not do well in the sun. Oh...and we lost our playoff game against Harrisburg. It was a good match though, just didn't get a few things to go our way. Plus, it seemed that they wanted it a bit more even though we had an advantage in numbers and appeared to be in better shape as they were huffing ang puffing about 20 minutes into the first half.

Reverse Dang It: Spending a Sunday with Kool-Aid where I go out and do my best to boost the economy singlehandedly by purchasing many various and completely random items. Well, I did need new rugby boots but what the hell is this tennis racket all about?!?!

Dang It'ed: Going with Kool-Aid to a shoe WAREHOUSE!! Sigh... Plus, I did not do as well as anticipated on my tax return. The "classic" unsweet haul. How's that tennis racket looking now?!?! Damn you's gubberment, damn you's all to hell!!

Reverse Dang It: The Toast getting all important like by traveling up to Jersey for workies for a few days and doing a a few presentations.

Dang It'ed: Waking up at 3:30AM to meet a few co-workers at my office in Bethesda at 5AM. Whomever green lighted this idea deserves a shovel to the face. While my presentation goes very well on Tuesday I run into a few troubles on my work trip. My hotel room gets no channels that carry any hockey games and Game 4 of the Bruins and Canadiens series is on. I am forced to walk down the street to a Bennigan's where I can only find Flyers coverage with limited Bruins highlights. (B's end up getting shutout 1-0 and are now down in the series 3-1). Wednesday starts with a bang as I do not get my 6AM wake up call and upon meeting my two co-workers in the lobby for breakfast I promptly spill two consecutive cups of coffee. Plus, all you toastedblog readers are forced to go two whole days without new material. That may be the biggest dang it of them all. However, reading this particular post is not doing well for the cause.

Well..there you have it. It's not a complete rundown of the recent days in the life of the Toast but I'm not spending any more time trying to be witty and creative as I seem to have nothing today. Besides....I can't give out all me secrets. Do me a favor though folks, root for the B's tonight. Maybe they can steal one in Montreal thus keeping hockey on the Toast's front burner for a while longer. Now...I have to get back to doin' stuff. Take 'er easy.

Hey!!! They Won One!!!

The Bruins, after dropping the first two games of the series in Montreal, decided to go ahead and win one last night taking Game 3 in overtime 2-1, and let me tell you toastedblog faithful, it was a fantastic game to watch. With limited time here this morning I can't really get into detail or anything, but Milan Lucic is pretty much the balls. Lucic gave Boston its first lead on the Habs all season early in the first period by taking a pass from Marc Savard in the slot and fired a wrist shot over the shoulder of Montreal goaltender Carey Price. Savard would also get the the game winner about halfway through the first overtime after he jumped off the bench as the extra attacker on a delayed Montreal penalty and hammered home a terrific cross-ice feed from defenseman Dennis Wideman. The Toast yelps with approval and Ooohh weeee...we've got ourselves a series.

I really can't say enough about the way Lucic played last night though. He was flying all night and hitting every Montreal player that was on the ice. And Thomas was outstanding for the second consecutive game stopping 27 shots from the high falootin' Canadiens.

What's more important is the fact that it is incredibly awesome feeling something more when watching playoff hockey. Its been a few years since I've had the pleasure of seeing the B's in the playoffs and I am thoroughly enjoying every minute; whether I have had to tape a game and watch it late night because of rugby practice or foregoing a night out on the town on Saturday so I can stay home with a few beers and watch the Bruins eventually lose in overtime, I am watchin' the SHIT out of this series!! Normally I am forced to watch games that have far less meaning to the Toast. Granted, they are still awesome, I mean...it is playoff hockey. All the forechecking, hitting, overtime games, are still there. Its just that I have to live vicariously through other people's teams and not my own. Well, not this year. At least for now I still have the Bruins to make up for all my shortcomings throughout my storied career in hockey.

**The Toast resumes his hockey playing late Wednesday night as summer hockey league begins; this time we'll hopefully be missing out on that highly coveted first round playoff exit, much like this past winter.**

Game 4 is set for Tuesday at 7pm and with a scheduled work trip to New Jersey coinciding with my strong desire to watch playoff hockey I am going to have to do my best to find a bar with the game tomorrow night. Clearly I would rather have this work trip at another time but I guess one must never underestimate the staggering drawing power of the Garden State. Damn Jersey with your making me wake up at 4am so I can be at the office at 5am to drive to you with two other co-workers. You've already made me iron dress shirts now I have to wake up before dawn. I wasn't aware that my alarm clock had a 4am!?!?! Mark my words Jersey..if you make me miss Game 4 there's going to be hell to pay.

"Ain't that a B"!

Today, my former college roommate, current best buddy, and everyone's favorite little crapper turns 29 years old. Happy Birthday Little Charlie Coville!! On the weekends, Charlie does stunts for Little Richard in gay movies.

Now get down here for Pearl Jam!!! As of tomorrow morning your ticket is waiting.

**By the way, I am going for best available so get ready for close up shots of McCready jammin'!!**


/starts singing guitar solo from "even flow"

....awesome.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with shit! And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

A while back I cracked an egg o' knowledge on y'all about movie watching with the Toast and what I was attempting to accomplish may not have been a weekly drilling but more creating a type of post that was going to jump out and say hello from time to time. Unfortunately supporters of the Toast on the internet have been without my rather important random movie knowledge. You have no idea what to rent, what to see. How will you get by without the Toast and his "rent that shit" take on fine cinema?? The answer simply is...you can't. Just try to imagine what you're lives would be like without me. Awful isn't it??

I just have one question for you all; have you seen some of that shit that is out there?!?! The reason that this hasn't been flung on you my devoted internet faithful isn't due to a lack of trying. I mean, I'll watch me some movies, they really rev my engine, but some are just not worthy to grace Toastedblog. There just is a lot of shitty films out there. However, I should really explain that I have been weeding through the crap and checking out some decent flicks. They just happen to be those that don't get any burn here on the blog is all. Take note to the list below:

- I am Legend
- No Country For Old Men
- Michael Collins
- Elizabeth: The Golden Age
- The Darjeeling Limited
- Beowulf
- Sunshine
- Death at a Funeral
- American Gangster
- Pirates of the Carribbean: At World's End

What you read is a list of films that I went ahead and rented over the past, I don't know, few months. A few were decent (Sunshine, Funeral), some I had seen in theatres (Old Country, I'm talking about you here), some I wanted to see in theatres (Legend, Gangster, Darjeeling), and yet some were rented just to complete the trilogy (I couldn't even finish the third "Pirates" flick, it was that bad). I mean, as I had mentioned before in a previous post, I don't really take too many chances on bad cinema. Most often flicks will get at least a thumbs up from the Toast and those movies listed above aren't bad (once again, "Pirates" aside), they just don't have that certain special something. Except for "No Country", that movie was harsh. Yeah!

Now that doesn't mean that they'll get two very enthusiastic thumbs up from the Toast either. And that is why I am writing this very post you are reading. Or is it: "why I wrote the very post you are reading". Whatever, all I am trying to get across is that I did, in fact, recently catch a flick that gets the "highly coveted" two enthusiastic thumbs up stamp of approval from the Toast. What was that you ask?? Well, if you haven't deciphered the photo overhead I feel for you and your lack of awareness. IT WAS "SWEENEY TODD" DAMMIT!!

I found it hard to believe that Johnny Depp did not have any singing experience prior to this film, he's that good. I guess when you are an amazing talent stuff like singing comes naturally to you. Anyone who has caught the Toast's "electric" karoake version of "Don't be Cruel" by Bobby Brown knows exactly what I am talking about. Getting the movie down did require two takes as the first attempted viewing came on this past Saturday night following my day long rugby, drinking, and pulled pork binge but it is definitely worth a two hour sit down with some milk duds.

Since taking it all in I have found myself belting out tunes from this particular musical; just wandering around singing about "Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pies" and "Pirelli's Miracle Elixer" as I am out completing my day to day. Depp's performance aside, which I won't call brilliant but will label as hella fine, the rest of the cast put together for "Sweeney" is fantastic and very fitting for the film. As usual, Alan Rickman plays a villian as only Rickman can, snobby and elitist with, I don't want to call it a charm because one definitely doesn't find Judge Turpin "charming", but its definitely him and Helena Bonham Carter is terrific as Mrs. Lovett, complete with a fine array of heaving bosom shots. Throw in Sacha Baron Cohen, albeit his part in the film is small, and you've got something working here. And they sing...well!!! Who knew??

The movie is dark, creepy, sweet, savvy, humorous, intense, and just a damn fine time. If a musical is getting this kind of take from the Toast you know it's good, as if it had "real bits of panther in it". To give it a two word review, one could call it dazzling disturbing. Just go ahead and rent it, you'll see for yourself.


**Quick Sidenote**

I really liked the song "By the Sea". Johnny Depp's body language throughout the whole tune is priceless.

*DING* Fries are Up!!

It should be no surprise to those close to the Toast that he is, what they call, fair skinned. To make matters like a hundred times worse, I don't totally get the concept of "sun screen". So, with a few rugby games this past Saturday I went ahead in doing my best to keep up with my nice Irish white boy image and decided to don a sunburn to take down all the lesser and weaker sunburns in it's path. Take that common sense!!!

So we have a Toast already walking around a little haggard and bit banged up following two hard hitting rugby games. Add what seems to be like a fifth degree sunburn to the mix you'd think I was on the verge of a certain and very painful death. All aboard the wicked pain train!! The thing that's killing me is that it probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't such a complete fucking baby about it. You should see me whining as I struggle to do even the most simple of tasks.

- Putting on a shirt: "Oooh....it scrapes my sweet, but tender, arms."

- Taking a shower: "I no wanna go in there, the steam causes it to sting."

- The intimate times: "Ah....can you move to the right, you're on my sunbuh....AHHH...you just caught it with your fingernails."

- Shaving: "Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? I'm still two days away from trying that shit!!"

Realistically we're looking at your classic farmer's tan with a sprinkle of flare as rugby shorts don't offer "traditional coverage". Let's just say that short shorts and high socks make for interesting burn lines. And I look like a fucking idiot at work today. I haven't really shaved since Friday morning, I'm completely red face, aside from the peeling skin I have in certain spots, and I'm itchy. You'd have thought I was going through some withdrawals here; and who's to say that I'm not?? Plus, it's not like this burn is going to turn into a boss tan either. My Irish roots won't allow that to happen. You must be out of your goddamn mind!! Stupid southern sun, I hate you. I never had this problem in early April back in Central NY.

Although this situation I have found myself in is not without its few, or should I say lone, high point. With the Bruins in the Stanley Cup Playoffs for the first time in a few years I have entertained the thought of letting my sunburned enforced stubble turn into a full blown playoff beard. Nothing screams rabid New England hockey support like red facial hair. Only problem is that this look is most likely short lived as the B's have drawn the lucky number eight seed and have to face-off against the hated Habs. Damn you Montreal and your ability to just turn off the French!! Linguistic barriers do not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit!! Has the whole world GONE CRAZY?! Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?

Man, I love that movie.

"Fuck the tournament??"

"We must have waffles! We must all have waffles forthwith!"

Ahoy hoy internet audience, remember when I hit you with this little gem??

"Make mental note to eat more eggo waffles as those fuckers are tasty."

Well, now I'm about to do you one better. I have just found the piece de resistance of the waffle world. You've heard of these Eggo waffle things before. Yeah, well this is pretty much going to blow that right out of the water; listen to this: Chocolate....Chip....Waffles. Think about it, you walk into a grocery store and see Eggo waffles sittin' there, there's chocolate chip Eggo's sittin' right beside it. So, lets get down to brass tacks. Which one are you gonna pick man?? That's right, the chocolate chip and BOY, are they something special.

You've gotta get hip and with it toastedblog faithful. We're living in different times man. We don't have the short attention spans like you kids today. We could just sit..and stare at a candle, for like, three hours and just, you know, have our minds BLOWN. I mean, eatin' an orange, well that's like takin' a trip through a citrus mountain...but with waffles.



Have I noticed these waffles before?? I think the better question would have been: Have I bothered to purchase these waffles before? The answer simply put is no. Until now. A recent trip to my local grocer's freezer found these little beauties and they have quickly touched my tender heart and soul. Man, with that syrup all warmed up, we're talkin' the tops here. I was fortunate enough to take two of them down yesterday and needless to say, it is something that all must experience as quickly as possible. So drop what you're doing and run, don't walk, to the nearest potential chocolate chip eggo waffle vendor and load that sumbitch of a cart up. Mark my words, you shant be disappointed.

It's Opening Day!!!

That's right!! It's time to rise up and kick a little ass toastedblog faithful. ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE!!!

At Least It's Not Emo.

Most people out there know that I loooove to rock. Last night while watching Xavier keep my bracket alive by defeating West Virginia I was rocking sump'in sweet in the background, that being a nice little i-pod mix from the White Stipes that I went ahead and created yesterday during lunch (if you play your cards right internet audience I could very well share it with you as we close out this post). What was I doing before basketball you ask, well I was rocking to the highest power while I was completing my man-tastic workout at the gym. All edge I tells ya. Hell, my mantasticalness is so potent half of you ladies that be reading the nonsense that I kick just got pregnant. Computers sure are doing a lot these days.

However, for all the rockin' that the Toast is capable of, there is a more subdued and tender side to the Toast and his musical tastes. Call it wuss rock, call it indie. Go ahead and call it art rock if you will, although that is more of a "Zappa term". Whether it be dubbed acoustic folk, chick rock, folk rock, or just straight up singer/songwriter with heart-felt lyrics rock my eclectic musical tastes sometimes will lead me there. I've often been accused by current best buddy and former college roommate "Little" Charlie Coville that I have indeed lost my edge. What about you internet audience?? How do you feel about this matter?? Have I....Mayor McToast...Toastmaster General....Casey to those in the know, lost my edge??

Whatever!! I have nothing to prove to you, internet reader!! So I enjoy "The Shins" from time to time, big deal. Who cares if I dig bands such as "The Decemberists", I kinda like it. So what if I want to go ahead and listen to PJ Harvey all while sitting alone in the candle light with my thoughts, dreams and emotions (check out "Grow Grow Grow" and "Silence" off of White Chalk....very nice). Go to hell Little Crapper, I still have edge. I was just rockin' some bad ass "Queens of the Stone Age" just a little while back as I was perusing expiring insurance policies within the next 30 days and nothing screams edge having like a post due general liability insurance policy, and QOTSA.

So what exactly is the meaning of all of this you ask. Well, I sat here thinking to myself about my edge, lack-there-of, and these non-rocking beats I sometimes check out as I was giving another solid listen to the soundtrack to the movie Once . Pretty much doing nothing but being stationary at my desk in my office after lunch and just debating what task to tackle next or do I just go home at 3:30. About four months ago Kool-Aid and I picked up Once and if you haven't checked out the movie and you aren't concerned with whether or not your former college roommate thinks you still have that hard rocking edge full time or not I fully suggest giving it a look see. More importantly, do yourself a favor and pick up the soundtrack as you'll want to have the ability to listen to Glen Hansard following your initial viewing (I particularly enjoy "Say it to Me Now", "Leave", and "Trying to Pull Myself Away"). Also, go out and get yourself some music from "The Frames"; the nice little Irish band of which Mr. Hansard hails (Dance the Devil is the tops). The amount of energy and emotion Hansard puts into his music is definitely something that should be experienced.

*And for those paying attention, Toastmaster General's White Stripes Mix*

- "Blue Orchid" Get Behind Me Satan
- "Hello Operator" De Stijl
- "Black Math" Elephant
- "Astro" The White Stripes
- "Why Can't You Be Nicer To Me?" De Stijl
- "Expecting" White Blood Cells
- "There's No Home For You Here" Elephant
- "A Martyr For My Love For You" Icky Thump
- "Apple Blossom" De Stijl (the tops I tells ya!!)
- "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground" White Blood Cells
- "Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine" Elephant
- "Denial Twist" Get Behind Me Satan
- "Stop Breaking Down" The White Stripes
- "I'm Bound to Pack It Up" De Stijl
- "Take Take Take" Get Behind Me Satan
- "Little Cream Soda" Icky Thump
- "Hypnotise" Elephant
- "Let's Build a Home" De Stijl
- "Fell in Love With a Girl" White Blood Cells
- "Catch Hell Blues" Icky Thump
- "Seven Nation Army" Elephant
- "Little Bird" De Stijl (one can sing awesome guitar sounds with this beat)

Its Van Damme Friday people; make some noise!!

Useless Item No. 6438: Stupid Pocket on Pants

Currently I am wearing pants; khaki pants. What I want to know is, can someone please tell me what the hell this tiny pocket up near the right-side front belt loop is for and what it is doing there?? Take a look at the link; go ahead...I'll wait.

Really, is someone going to put change in that fucking thing?? I think it's supposed to be for one of those pocket watches on a chain but is anyone aside from men clad in bowler hats (see also: derby) and a monocle circa early 1900's still using those things. And the pocket just keeps getting bunched up under there while I wear these bad boys and office folk here give me strange looks as I attempt to straighten that damn thing out.

What's the deal pant makers?? Can't a guy just get a regular pair of khaki's anymore, without all of these randomly placed pockets, pouches, and fucking zippers?? All I want is a pair of khaki pants that I can wear to work that make my butt look amazing so kool-aid would like to get all up ons, either before I leave for the office or when I drag my ass in the door following a long day workin' for the man. I didn't ask for random pockets to be placed wherever you wanted. And who are the case studies these pant producers reference when they are green-lighting pant prototypes?? If I ever run into the designer who thought the idea of a random pocket right underneath the front belt loop was a bang-up idea I'm going to kick them in the shin....HARD. These guys are probably the same guys that ride their bike to work and brag about it. I can't get started on them now so we'll have to devote an entire post to those people soon.

**Sidenote**
Don't even think like the Toast is all against riding bikes to work. It's a dynamite way to get some exercise, save on gas, and help the environment. But do they have to rub it in our faces by walking into the office all sweaty carrying their twelve speed decked out like fucking Lance Armstrong??

also gonna hit y'all with some of this....POW!!

Assorted Random Toast Highlights:

- Today's post-lunch iTunes pop up of "Mah Nà Mah Nà" from The Muppet Show leaves the Toast with a little extra bounce in his step.

- I popped a filling in a molar on Friday and yesterday featured my first trip to a dentist not named Dr. James Carpenter. At first it was a bit odd but then I got to know the Bolivian dental hygienist. Nice!

- Few things satisfy like driving along with the windows down as you pump "Brass Monkey".

- Jello pudding cups care fucking delicious and they should be included in every lunch at all costs.

- Pearl Jam tix are still not on sale. This is me, waiting patiently.

- This past Saturday morning featured a post-gym, three hour plus, online fantasy baseball draft complete with gratuitous amounts of chocolate milk, an egg, ham, and cheese bagel, a touch of the "good stuff", and a viewing of Robocop. Few things have made me happier; is that sad?? That being said, my team, the Spanish Pantalones, is the shit!!

- I made a ham on Easter, what of it??

- It's 65 degrees and sunny outside, how can I get out of the office and start golfing??

- Kool-aid is sick; sexy time is at an all time low, video game playing steadily rising.

- Make mental note to eat more eggo waffles as those fuckers are tasty.

hey!!! look who it is!!!

The Toast was sent this picture of hims-self just the other day. Not much to say really, its just me at a "hole in the wall" bar on a night out with a few good buddies last summer, just days before my move down to DC. No real reason for posting it, just that it makes me remember that I am pretty badass....in a goofy Irish sort of way. I think I ate nachos that night.

Two Words....FUCK and YES!!!

Pearl Jam is fucking coming to Washington D.C.!!! Commence fists to full on rocking positions. This show now gives the Toast his top two bands in consecutive months (Toast's no. 2, Radiohead, is May 11th). Both concerts in my fucking backyard!!! One couldn't make this shit up if they tried. I'm almost as excited as I was last night when Kool-Aid surprised me with a box of snickers ice-cream bars to enjoy during my college basketball binge. Good god those things are delicious.

Oh Mama!!

True, I should be pumped for my impending early afternoon flee from the office so I can hang out on the couch and watch me some college basketball while dreaming of what I will do with my bracket winnings (so far I have take kool-aid to one of those restaurants where they bring you all those meats on swords or trip to best buy to purchase "insert awesomely new video game system here"). And I am, I'm pumped to do that. But for some reason I can't help but to continually think about the kool-aid's left-over burrito from last night's post REI run to Moe's that I was fortunate enough to snag for lunch today. I'm so gonna reheat that pig and slather it in hot sauce and cheese. Rest easy toast, after pulling this one off, you deserve some time on the couch. YAY BURRITOS AND BALLIN'!!!

**quick sidenote**
kool-aid may go for me picking up a nintendo wii, but can I really turn down a ps3 or xbox 360? even more unlikely, will I be really be able to ignore meat on swords??

So you're a nursing home janitor living in Boston.....and what's your son's name again??

Remember when I said I went back home to Syracuse over the weekend, well that did actually happen. But what coincides with going home for a few days is the eventual drive home. Not gonna lie to you, but this is always dreaded. The last thing that one wants to do is spend their hung over Sunday on the road for upwards of 6 hours en route to Washington DC. Those who say this is something they want to do, go ahead and kick them in the teeth. They are fucking liars and must be dealt with accordingly.

Anywho, kool-aid and the toast made our return journey to DC early sunday afternoon and right near sunny scranton, pa did we decide to turn up the heat on this drive home with everyone's favorite grade school game, M.A.S.H. I had kool-aid digging through my briefcase as I cruised down interstate 81 to find my "blog" notebook to get things a-rollin. The Toast didn't do too badly for his-self pulling in a classy dame in Kate Beckinsale to father my 7 children. Of course the first born and heir to my Massachusetts estate is my eldest son, "Huey Lewis". I narrowly missed the luxury of traveling to my job as a bikini inspector in a airplane made of biceps. I will instead have to deal with life as a nursing home janitor and will be forced to rely on getting back and forth to work in my sweet dune buggy. Other hopeful scenarios had me living the dream as a wealthy philanthropist who was fortunate enough to reel in Liz Phair and father a son named "Dingleman" while residing in my home on the Irish country-side. I guess it could be worse though, I could be driving the Weiner-Mobile to my shack inside Mt. Vesuvius.

Kool-aid had a rough go of it though. You're looking at D.C.'s newest skid-mark measurer and cleaner. We're not talkin' roads here either. Fortunately she does have a bumper car to transport her safely to and fro all those tainted underpants and will get the luxury of spending her homelife in an Croatian apartment with a pet armadillo named "goober".

Uhhhh.....

This past weekend I returned home to the ever impressive Syracuse, NY for some St. Patty's Day drinking. If you are from Syracuse or have ever been blessed with the opportunity to spend a "parade day" there you may know the goings on of which I speak. Now, its not a classy town, far from it actually. But those in the know realize that basically all there is to do in a town like Syracuse, especially in the winter/"spring", is to drink. And I mean DRINK.

"what do you want to do tonight??" dunno, lets get drunk."

"hey there nice lady, you want to watch me slam an 18 pack and pass out??" (lady swoons)

there, you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?? internet readers better be as I am functioning at about 30% normal intellectual capacity and thus don't have the patience, or ability, to elaborate. For example, I just spent two solid minutes looking for the key that held the percent symbol (i.e. %) on my laptop here. this was proceeded by an uncomfortable 10 minute conversation with a co-worker discussing some of the haps for this monday here in the office. and this is now a full day after retarded central NY style boozin'. long story short I really have no idea on what I am doing today and for some reason I am typing this out for whatever internet audience my so called blog has. for your enjoyment you are reading how I am strugglin' a bit at the office following a trip to exquisite central new york so I can get hammered outside with my buddies over the course of 14 hours. in some aspects, I am proud of myself that I can still take down about 30 beers and enjoy the finer things in life (jamming 4 pieces of pizza following an incredibly risky drive home). its the fact that I am beginning to notice that this whole binge drinking is still affecting me and my attempts at normalcy now a few days afterwards, that's what irking the toast. GREAT...I can still hang, now just give me a few days to recollect my thoughts. I mean, I have a list of symptoms taking me down whilst I try simple activities today. SYMPTOMS?!?!

1. body feels like I fell down a flight of stairs
2. have toughness of an easily bruised piece of fruit
3. constant brain is fuzzy feeling
4. ability to recollect information constantly fading
5. simple tasks = fucking difficult
6. conversation skills at an all-time low

Am I complaining??? Kinda. Is there anything that I can and will do about it??? Well, short of stopping the occasional drink till I'm blind mentality I don't really think so. Not until I pop out a few little toasts will I be forced to give up on that dream. Am I making any sense?? Eh..not really. Realistically I am going to look back on this post in a day or so, maybe even less, and really wonder what the hell I was thinking and why was I typing it down. I just know that right now the toast is all over the place and trying to not make the higher ups all around me aware of what it is. we'll see how this ends up panning out. so far the outlook is fair to midland.

**quick sidenote**
the percent symbol is on the 5.

And I thought I knew what awesome was...

until I stumbled across this.

I'm a MAN!!

so who cares if I left my deodorant in my gym bag and that stayed overnight in the car causing me to use some of kool-aid's antiperspirant because I didn't want to go outside and get mine in the cold, dark morning. I'm a MAN!! A man whose sweater smells like flowery baby powder.....uh..this stuff is more potent than anticipated.

I'm a MAN!!!

Toastmaster General's "News of the Weird"

ok, so stuff seems to happen when I drive to work. what's the deal you ask. realistically, I just don't know. maybe its due to the amount of traffic on the roads down here in DC?? maybe it has to do with the number of foreign automobiles or young republicans and their inability to "think"?? who knows??? all that I seem to know is that shit goes down when I am on the path to workies every morning during the week. so what was it this morning??

as I was taking my normal route that is the magical jefferson davis parkway I drove past some car that had stopped directly behind a jeep wrangler with a few people just kinda standing all around it, some on the side of the road, some in front of said jeep. just passing it off as a bit of a fender bender I proceeded to cruise by at about 20 miles per hour as this is the going rate leading up to a stop light about a hundred yards past this particular intersection. knowing full well that the light ahead of me had just turned to red I decided to partake in an action that is not a normal thing for the toast. what is it you ask my internet faithful, well that would be "rubber-necking"; you know, turning your head to check out the accident, cop giving motorist ticket, and so on, which, in turn, disrupts all traffic cruising behind you. now, normally I'll go ahead and hop on board with the "rubber necking" only when passing by a lady that I have to get another look at (ahem..kool-aid) but this was one time I was glad that I gave it a go. as I passed this little scene I previously set up for you my only reaction was to chirp the following: "oh shit!" what I saw was a few grocery bags, some milk splattered on the ground, and a middle aged man lying motionless on the ground. now, this kinda surprised me as it wasn't the accident I was expecting to see. what really surprised me more was the fact that the five or six people surrounding the scene really didn't seem to distraught by the goings on. I don't know about you, but when I come across a possible dead man lying a few feet in front of me you're going to be hearing an awful lot of "oh fuck's!" and "what the shit's!" I'm certainly not going to be standing there casually like I am waiting in line for an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet.

LeVar Burton's "House o' Fixins"

and if you thought I'd be doing something better with my time this morning like going to meetings you thought like an idiot. the line about trading drugs for "not rape" got me going puh-RITT-ee good. ahh....mondays.

"I used to be a renegade, I used to fool around. But I couldn't take the punishment, and had to settle down"

Ah Huey Lewis. You are sooo..awesome. But this post is unfornately not about you. (Dangited!!) Lately I have been throwing some things around my head and I am still pretty much at a loss at what to do. Now, I have been playing rugby regularly for the past 5 years and I am wondering whether or not to, as they say, hang 'em up. The cleats that is. hang 'em up, you know, retire. I still really love to play, I just don't know if I can keep devoting the amount of time and effort anymore. Plus my body is really beginning to hate me. If you had my knees and shoulders you'd understand.

To start this off, rugby came back to me really at a time in need. Back in '03 I was to experience a terrible break up following a long relationship and I spent the next few months in a funk to end all funks. As a way to break myself free and just forget what was going on I chose to look into something I had always had the desire of doing, which was, playing rugby. aside from a few practices when I was in college I really didn't have too much experience and due to my previously reconstructed shoulder, rugby never had gotten the full go ahead with me. but, the beautiful thing about rugby is, it's easy to learn. as long as you can run like crazy, don't mind getting hit, like short shorts, and can make some tackles (no matter how big the fella running at you is) you can play rugby.

over the next few years I began to rediscover who I was while playing this game. I love contact. I love to get hit and make some hits. I just love being active and competitive and along the way I was fortunate enough to have made some lifelong friends and to pretty much get in the best shape of my young life. I was single for the most part and having a blast getting my head stomped on. I made some plays, was a part of many road trips, won championships, drank a ton, broke my thumb, broke a tooth, disclocated my knee on seperate occasions, and I am pretty sure that I destroyed some ligaments in my right ankle, all without missing a single game and all the while having a blast.

well, a number years have passed and I have found myself at a crossroads. when I moved down here to virginia one of the first things that I did find local rugby squads to be a part of. only problem was that I didn't really get settled down here when I started and the past few rugbyless months have kind of shown me who I am now-a-days. Don't get me wrong, I'm still wicked awesome. Just now I am unsure what I want to do as I am now relationship toast. and this is in no way a bad thing, its great even. Rugby, you see, takes a great deal of time and time is a luxury when you are a 28 year old with a shitload to do. but when you have to devote two nights a week to practice, your entire saturday getting hit and then drinking, and follow that up with a sunday of recovery, there is not much left for you to get out there and really live. throw in the fact that the rugby season is: winter getting in shape and healing all wounds (I believe I have a small tear in my right knee and with the majority of the past few months spent resting and gaining weight I still don't think everything is gravy), spring season from march till may, a few weeks off, summer sevens, a few weeks off, pre-season workouts at the end of summer, and fall season lasting from labor day to mid november, what time is there to have for yourself?? I am constantly looking into things to do with kool-aid, you know, fun outdoorsy stuff and am doing a great job jotting some down and even joining a few. Camping, hiking, an ultimate frisbee league (which I've joined), softball, going to shows, traveling, mountain biking..how am I going to accomplish this with a frenzied rugby schedule??

Realistically I am just getting my thoughts out on paper...so to speak. Of course I am going to continue playing but who really knows for how long. I was serious about the tear in the knee thing. I mean, I do really think that there is something wrong there. But I have always had this vision of myself playing well into my forties and having my family at games watching dad get run over only to occasionally make a good play. Besides, I do really love to play. It just takes so much out of me and my body is already doing its best to fall apart. rugby is just so fuckin' great to be a part of though. "what are you doing this weekend?? Oh, playing rugby, thats bad ass." "why are you walking around like that?? got injured playing rugby the other day, jebus you're awesome!!" needless to say, I'll be back at it here in a few days as practices for the spring are already under way. I just think I need a bit longer to relax and get the head straight. I really do love playing the game, its just some of the things that go with it that make me second guess.

"oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

it's lookin' pretty good right??

Toastmaster General's "News of the Weird"

sorry, this was just something that I felt should be shared. upon entering the "georgetown" area of the district on my way to workies this morning I happened to hit one of the many red lights and boy did I stop accordingly. now, this may strike many of you "road travelers" as normal and believe you me this is no way out of the ordinary. but, what happens next will astound you.

like many others on the streets, when stopping at a red light I have a tendency to look around at the many other cars on the road and the individuals behind their respective wheels. as I looked over to the maroon toyota corolla that pulled up on my left I was left struck by what can properly be defined as AWE. a man in this mid forties complete with glasses and pony tail was driving a fuel efficient compact car. oh yeah...he was also playing the trumpet. WHAT?!?! this is a high traffic area, a morning commute; trumpet?!?!? he wasn't just throwing a few toots out there either, I mean he was going to town with that thing, mutha fuckin' Dizzy Gillespie style!!

I began to ponder as I sat there throughout the course of the red light, why this certain individual would be playing the trumpet behind the wheel of an automobile?? the only conclusion that I could reach that had nothing to do with him being absolutely insane or being late for marching band practice was that this feller was..in fact..perfecting his "hail to the redskins" performance. I mean, we are in DC. just have to say, do that at home post-work or on your lunch break buddy. you are probably receiving undeserved ridicule from assorted goofy irish bloggers. goofy irish bloggers that ROCK!

**toast starts singing the lyrics and guitar parts to "aenima" by tool**

"here comes yucky yucky, your special "get well" spoon; so swallow, swallow, swallow, and you'll feel better soon."

I'm not really sure what it is but whenever I am to experience the onset of even the least harmful of illnesses I turn into a quivering child. I am no longer a man, but a 8 year old boy who longs to be taken care of, especially with the assistance of a special friend. no matter what I do, whenever I begin to feel ill, all mantasticalness of the toast ceases to exist and what is left is the person who drove into work today, a shell of my normal, powerful and colorful self. all that I can think about is going home and lying down amidst a sea of blankets until whatever I have in me has run its course. but that's the thing, we're just talking about a little battle with the flu...if its that.

right about the time I was calling it quits last night I began to notice, however slight, an inkling of illness in the foreseeable future. I woke up this morning to whining flu pangs and sore throatiness that might cause a grade schooler to stay home but full grown thunder mcawesome who eats chumps for breakfast, this wouldn't keep him down. ahh...but you didn't know about my weakness did you, the common cold. it sends me whimpering off in search of blankeys and jammy jams. soups and oj. ladies and gentlemen, I have found my kryptonite. even though we caseys have a tremendous thresh-hold for pain and suffering, the slightest illness takes me down...takes me down to chinatown. currently I am still at my office trying my best but I don't see this lasting too much longer, at least not today. by the way, I am pretty sure that I took cold medicine meant for the pm; I haven't felt this drunk at work since that morning I had all of those beers on my drive in.

"Science and Industry! See big men sticking screwdrivers into things - turning them - AND ADJUSTING THEM!"

guess where I am and what I'm up to. go ahead, guess. I'll wait. well, with a little bit of techie work and a touch of luck, I am sitting here in full and relaxed comfort on the couch in me jammie jams typing away on the internet. that's right!!! someone just done installed a wireless router; JACKPOT!!! now, the internet browsing world is all mines. well....it wasn't really my doing....but it's installed nonetheless. WHOOP WHOOP!

"Jigsaw falling into place, There is nothing to explain."

well, all knew it had to be done but yesterday I went ahead and ordered tickets for radiohead as they're hitting us up here in Northern Virginia in about three months. only problem is that it wasn't as easy as originally anticipated. now, I have known about this show since they announced U.S. tour dates about a week or so ago. I happened to notice that they were playing an outdoor venue and with lawn seats most likely being the way of the toast here I really wasn't in that great of a rush to go online and start ordering away. besides, I had to go about checking to see if any of the toasted faithful would be interested in buying the ticket and taking the ride.

turns out I ended up making a tiny little mistake in my assumption. as I hit up ticketmaster's website to order away I ran into more than my fair share of problems. after giving it a few go's with no luck I decided to call up the nissan amphitheater's box office only to find out from the lovely rachel that the venue had indeed been sold out. the toast was not havin' this shit and shant not be letting an opportunity to see radiohead pass him by. especially in his own backyard.

**quick sidenote, radiohead is the fuckin' best live show I have ever attended, and this is coming from a pearl jam diehard who has also been to his fair share of drug enhanced phish and moe. shows, which are a hell of a time might I add. saw them in madison square garden a few years back, we're talkin' wicked awesome here.**

so what was the next turn?? where to go?? what to do?? back down?? give up?? hurl my laptop passing by co-workers?? fortunately, I did the next best thing. what is that you ask, a little thing I like to call.......third party vendors. jackpot!! needing three tickets, I began to use my head and looked sites like ebay and craigslist where I found a number of vendors, your "stubhub's" and "ticketturbo's" and after a wee bit o' searching found pack of four lawn seats at about 79 bones a piece. clocking in at just under twice the face of the $41 lawn seat it's a tad more than I wanted to spend but still beats what a few craigslisters were asking. one guy wanted $350 for a pair of tix, granted they were pavilion seats, but 350 dollars, you must be outta your goddamn mind!!!

after all was said and the $45 service fee was done, a four spot of lawn seats ran me about $375. wasn't terribly excited about the fact that I had to front some beefy cash for these seats but as my friend rose said, "I'll gladly take the hit in stride." basically, with opportunities to see one of my favorite bands already a rarity, the decision was a no brainer. needless to say, ever since tix were purchased yesterday I've been way too excited for a show that is still 79 days away. wait....that's how much I paid for seats. weird.

check this shit out!!


"jigsaw falling into place"


"bodysnatchers"


and one of my faves off in/rainbows "reckoner"

"it's pumpkinninny!!!"

I don't care who you are but posted above is classic entertainment at it's absolute finest. let's just say "you'll catch the limit!" that guy knows what I'm talkin' about.

/points over to good buddy kyle for approval (obligatory steal from ksk)

"I just flew in from Orlando and boy are my arms tired!!"

HA!!!

sorry for lack of awesome story telling and witty takes on various products, media, and sports entertainment over the past few but I just got back from spending a good amount of time in florida for work. that being said, more knee slappin', high five havin', and rib ticklin' toastedblog to come. come get a taste!!!

**potential topics in the nearest of futures**

-condiment of the week talk: I like it. anything that has to do with "sweet baby ray's" this guy will be all about.

-toastie's methods of seduction: any of you guys out there want to hear about how you can really pull in some high class tail?? learn from the toast, his hours of movie quotes, pass out drinking mentality, and high falootin' no nonsense attitude will assist you in landing your own "kool-aid". ask liz-a-hotty 5000, ladies don't stand a chance with these proven methods you'll get from the toast.

-radiohead in northern virginia??: oh mama!!!

-toastmaster general updates: laziness at an all time low, productivity growing in leaps and bounds, a back in constant pain...this is beginning to sound like the toast joined a gym.

- a classy "black tie" dress code + high levels of intoxication + a gussied up and hotter than normal kool-aid = oooh...rugby banquet!! wait..there's more...toast also has priviledge of gettin' "fancy drunk" at kool-aid's work party. niice!!!

- fantasy baseball fever...CATCH IT!!!: fantasy baseball just a few weeks away, we'll keep you up to date with a toast draft journal and a quick "who's who" for this year. all the milton bradley, so taguchi, corey hart, and kenji jhojima coverage one could ever want.

Sweet...

I'm a star wars nerd...what can I say. so, when a star wars nerd comes across something like this, he is going to act accordingly. unfortunately...there is nothing that can be done about these actions so don't even bother.

It's phi slamma jamma runnin' stank all over it with rib-ticklin' jumps of double vanilla funk!

woeber's sandwich pal horseradish sauce is fucking delicious!! I like to mix it with barbeque sauce and dip my dino nuggets in it. I'm pretty sure that if old wet newspapers were smothered in this stuff I'd find a way to take them down and ask for seconds. you could hand me a dead sea lion cub and I wouldn't think twice about eating it if I had me some sandwich pal. I'll dip fries in it, I'll slather it on french toast. put it in tuna fish, why the hell not?!?! I've dumped it on burritos, asparagus, leftover stroganoff, onion rings, broccoli, and pizza. not gonna lie to you internet audience but I would gladly shove your grandmother down a flight of stairs if I were to be offered a turkey on rye with sandwich pal.

It's "no meat" Wednesday!!!

damn you ash wednesday!!!

- for forcing me to eat a tuna sammich on rye when I have six pounds of perfectly good pulled pork sitting in delicious BAR-be-que sauce at home in the fridge.

- your annually making me choose something that I love to give up for the next forty days. (the toast is giving up being lazy so he can get his ass back into rugby shape!!) don't you know I've become accustomed to lyin' around on the couch with a bag of peanut m&m's??

- once again you've come'a'signalin' the start of meatless fridays till easters.

- caused me to think of ideas on what to eat on these afternoons and evenings without all that delicious meat that's usually on the menu. I get by because I do as little thinking as possible. you think I appreciate this?!?!

- with you're makin' me feel bad that I don't have charcoal on my forehead!

"Now if you excuse me, they're putting me into something called...hero squad"

Over 36 hours later and I am still shocked at what I witnessed while watching the super bowl on sunday night. did that really happen?? did someone give my 12 miller lites the classic "over-roofy"?? is this all a sick joke played by those dastardly media folk??? really, what's the deal?? I mean...the pats...they were supposed to win...right??? they were perfection. they were the greatest team ever. this was set to be a bit of a cakewalk for them. the spread was close to two touchdowns, they couldn't possibly lose...could they?? well, to steal a quote from a certain fan: "the giants just shoved 17 points up your mass-pike!!!"

well, my monday morning was spent driving to work feeling all tingly and full of goosebumps as espn radio repeatedly played clips of radio broadcaster's commentary of "the play" only to be followed by the absolute eruption from the crowd in the background. this literally sent shivers down my spine as I hurriedly sped down george washington parkway en route to my office in bethesda. what did I do when I got there??? well I instantly started checking out as many internet sites as possible for post-game coverage, clips, and shots of the giants and their celebration. now...what did I do when I got home??? well, that's easy, went ahead and watched all of the sports analysis shows that I taped during the day to get further coverage. seems only natural, doesn't it??

all in all, I think I have seen "the play" about 128 times and it only gets better with every viewing. eli slipping out of the grasp of the pats' three down linemen, taking a moment to steady himself before he hurls the ball 40 yards until it is met by a leaping former su standout in david tyree, who at this point had caught more balls in this very super bowl than he had snagged all year, and then maintains possesion as he falls backwards with pats safety rodney harrison draped all over him. whether or not it is the best play in super bowl history, who really cares?? it still was one of the more amazing plays I have ever seen, and this guy has seen his fair share, in a variety of sports.

but you can't really say enough about eli and his performance over the past few weeks. from going to a quarterback known as a possible bust as the no. 1 overall pick to taking down the "greatest team in nfl history" in only a few weeks is quite a leap. I don't care who you're a fan of, what he did on sunday during the fourth quarter was reminiscent of the days of joe montana. for his play over the past few and the way he went about getting the giants their third super bowl title eli will never have to pay for a meal in nyc for the rest of his life.

to end this we have a what was said by giants owner John K. Mara on the team's triumph:

“It's the greatest victory in the history of the franchise, without question. I just want to say to all you Giants fans who have supported us for more than 30 years at Giants Stadium, for all those years in Yankee Stadium, and some of you even back to the Polo Grounds, this is for you.”

this will keep the toast chipper for quite some time. 2007-08 ny giants, so glad that I bought the ticket and took the ride.