Toastmaster General: Man of Intrigue, Lover, Rocker, Dog Wrangler, Captain of Hilarity, Dangerous Liason, Writer???

The Toast is a man of many and yet, very few talents. For example, I can recite lyrics to songs that I haven't heard in years yet I cannot for the life of me do the running man. So it goes. For what it's worth I tend to be the creative sort that may not constantly be in search of new opportunities to put it on display as the day to day can keep me quite content but every so often I just find myself getting disgusted with a few things. I'll tell myself: "Self...it's about time for a change." Then said change either occurs or just falls wayside to the demands of being all of those individuals you see in this here post's title.

But what this that's stuck at the end of that descriptive Toastmaster list? Writer it done say. I know what you may be thinking: "You count this blog as writing Toast?? For shame; it's just a bunch of nonsense with some video clips. It's like one of those 150 episode clip shows for chrissakes." Well, I'd consider you correct in making that observation, if it were true. No, the writing that I am more referring to has to do with real book type stuff. You know, high class stuff. Editing and everything.

A long time goal of mine has been to write a children's book. Now, the problem with following your dreams is that often the result is to get sick of following them and you make the conscious decision to hook up with them later. This is something that I know oh too well. Just the other day I was sitting in my office and I yet again came to the realization that I am indeed in a rut in my life. Now, this has nothing to do with my life at home mind you, that is AMAZING. I have a wonderful lass and I'm not even talking about Tessie Girl yet. I have the Kool-Aid that I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I live comfortably. Travel a bit. Get outdoors and am quite active. Look good in pants. A kick ass pup. I own all of Arrested Development on DVD. I go to shows (Vedder, Umphreys, Wilco, Moe., and Tool lined up over the upcoming weeks). I make fucking amazing eats. Happy right???

No, this deal is all on the work side. I like what I do, you might even say that I enjoy it...at times that is. I mean, I interact with some amazing individuals and I am learning quite a bit every day, which can't hurt right?? However, I am finding more and more that what I do and what I am going to keep doing for the time being seriously puts a damper on one thing that really revs my engine...my creativity. Now I suppose I can get creative in the realm of office politics or how I teach the epic wonder that is Quickbooks and it's integration with my company's various programs and systems but let's be honest, how the hell are you going to effectively jazz that shit up?? And Politics...not for me. So, where does this leave me?? How do I find an outlet for this "supposed" creativity that is not only invigorating but also productive?? How do I get out of this rut?? Then, on a rainy ass Tuesday afternoon in my office the light bulb went off.

Screw waiting to hook up with my dreams when the time is right. I will write and write I shall. I'm tired of saying that I've always wanted to get into Children's Literature. I'm sick of using the excuses. "Oh, I don't have enough time to write" or "I don't have the right degree to get into that, stupid B.A. in History." No, I am going to use some of this time that I do inevitably have for good use, true use. Since that Tuesday afternoon I have started to fill up a few pages of a notebook that I keep at my desk with some ideas, brainstorming if you will and I feel as though I have a puh-RET-tee good idea in terms of my books topic. I may even have a title for this flash of Toastie creativity. Now I just have to keep fanning the flames to get this fire really going.

I'm not expecting this thing to be done overnight and obviously I still have a few things to work out but I tell you this, I am awfully excited about it. Rejuvenated even. Where I go from here is still wide open but the fact that I am doing something about it surely is a step in the right direction. All that's left is for me to decide on now is whether I want deep dish or thin crust. In all seriousness I feel like I am standing at the foothill of a cliff whose top that leads to immense opportunity and all its going to take for me to get to the top is a little elbow grease, determination, some luck, and, of course, my own somewhat eccentric yet highly personal flair. You know what internet audience, it is just so goddamn exciting.

Has it really been 15 years?

Recently I noticed that it has been 15 years since the "tragic" death of Kurt Cobain. The word tragic is in the frequently used by Toast quotations as the bastard did shoot himself; that being said it was a bit of o'tragedy as the world of music would never be the same. What does music have to show in the 15 years since?? MTV has gone from the way to get music out there to never showing a damn video. Seriously, not a one. Instead they are chock full to the gills of reality television and some show that I don't know a single thing about called "The Hills". Apparently it's Lauren's last season??? WHO THE FUCK IS LAUREN??

Kool-Aid tells me that "The Hills" is about these rich girls that look good and buy stuff and that all the girls at her work go fuck crazy nuts over it. What I want to know is, where is the music?? And this question isn't just for television. Media today is way past my know how. I mean, the cd industry is dead. 15 years!! Obviously I live in the internet age now, something that was just really getting underway all those years ago when Cobain blew his head off. Such a tortured soul. Please, I understand you're an artist and you suffer painstakingly for your craft. I also understand that you suffered from various ailments and intestinal disorders that made it greatly uncomfortable for you in the day to day. That's why you adhere to a steady heroin regiment. Don't tell me you used that stuff for just for the high??

Anyway, I'm getting off track. It is just difficult for me to comprehend the fact that it's been 15 long/short years since a major influence for the music side of me stopped making music...for various reasons...okay, one reason. Where has the time gone?? Where has the music gone?? Better yet, where has the musical talent gone?? Oh, it can still be found (i.e. take another ganders of what I left you in the post below). Maybe, what I should really be seeking an answer to is; where has the intelligence of the masses gone?? Culture?? Are we really all about dancing with the stars?? Is the best thing we have to offer the world the ups and downs of Jessica Simpson's weight or the primadonna rock'n'rolla lifestyles of our atheletes?? Please Obama, give this country something to be proud of again. I implore you.

Maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that things are just not the same. That the world has changed over the last 15 years. When we live in an age when any idiot with a computer can post their opinions on the web for all to see and read (i.e. this blog, I'm no exception to the rule) things are gonna get dumbed down. Perhaps I'm not giving people enough credit. Perhaps I'm being too cynical. Perhaps I should be blaming Cobain for some of this. I mean, after all, Cobain made it cool to sing about your feelings and still rock at the same time; of course he's gonna get his fair share of copycats. Someone's already done it, probably ten times better than you ever could. Might as well just try to follow his template and try to cash in, am I right. Well, do you know what that gets you 15 years later?? Emo Rock. Ugh.....(shudders at desk)

Okayokayokayokay...I apologize for this rant. I didn't get much sleep last night. Sometimes, I just want you to know that I'm more than movie quotes and song clips. I'm really a happy camper and I still looove to rock. And there are still a ton of beats out there for me to jam, to discover, to inform as many people as I can about. If anything, my tastes aren't mainstream so the fact that Pop Music is so garbage these days really shouldn't effect me. I just have this perception of things sometimes and it really grinds my gears. In any event, 15 years. 15 years since Cobain took off from rockin' via a shotgun blast. Makes you think huh?? Well, makes me think anyway. In closing...Umphrey's is the shit, Pearl Jam is still rockin' the free world, and how come no-one talks about the death of Layne Staley?? Good god Alice in Chains was awesome!!! Later boners.

Sidenote: Oddly enough, it has been 7 years since the death of Staley, who was pronounced dead exactly 8 years to the day (April 5, 1994 and 2002) following Cobain. And people note the number of musicians dying at the age of 27, yet no one really seems to bring this up. Probably due to how Staley was at the time of his death. Hell, the five years leading up to his death for that matter