Toasted Blog??

Flipadelphia Redux

2010-04-01T10:26:00.007-04:00

BOOM!

Flip-Flip-Flip-adelphia

2010-03-31T20:47:00.002-04:00

I had a few white russians this evening in a vain attempt to be far more dude. In other news, I couldn't find a way in the thirty seconds that I searched to post a "legal" flipadelphia video on this site as I can't seem to get that chant out of my head. Just google video search it and you'll see where I'm comin' from. That is all.

For no other reason...

2010-03-31T11:45:00.004-04:00

..than I like to remember what Muse was before they got all stupid of late, here's a little "Shrinking Universe". Plus, it has to do with edgy zombie flicks and Lord knows I do love me a good zombie flick with some edge to it (first one is waaaay better). Little Crapper has recently gone on record informing all that some of their new stuff is being used in recent Television Advertisments claiming that they be on a slippery slope heading straight for Sucktown. And me...well I'm not so much a fan of their most recent effort. But who am I to judge. I mean...this is coming from a guy who has specific pants that are reserved for dog park use alone.

On that note, more shit to come but about to head out and take the dog hiking. It's darn near fist pumpin' weather today.

Sigh...

2010-03-25T12:19:00.007-04:00

I know what you're going to say but I have good reason for a spell of not being around. If anyone stops by this piece that is. Anywho...the past few months have been devoted to my attempt to delve into the world of continuing my education. I took some time to complete my applications for Grad School and to study for the GRE which I took twice. You see, when you have a shitty GPA due to a undergraduate tenure spent boozing like a champ you tend to want to ace the GRE as sort of a way to compensate for said shitty GPA. You see where I'm going with this, or did you get lost in the abbreviations. Go ahead and catch up....I'll wait.

To make a long story short after freezing for a spot during my initial GRE run, I took the test a second time and my score was off.....the hook. So, why the "Sigh" title here in this return to Toastedblog?? Well, I have still yet to hear from my schools and I am growing quite weary of this fact. Every day when Tessie Dog barks like crazy at the mail man I run, I check, and I am disappointed.

Part of me worries that I won't be able to dodge my conduct from my early years but then I just rationalize to myself that I did well on the GRE, I have a kickass personal statement, and a resume of ten years of professional experience that demonstrates that I am ready, willing, and able to take on such a momentous task such as Graduate School. Meanwhile, the other part of me stresses about when I do get in these schools, where will I head??

I don't know. I guess what I am trying to say is that I want the suspense to be over and I just want to be able to begin planning on where the family and myself will be heading in just a few short months. Plus...I have to figure out how I am going to pay for this mess of voluntary education. Does anyone have about $60 Grand just lying around?? No?? That's what I thought.

Speechless again at a loss for words

2010-02-14T15:32:00.003-05:00

I get to see Umphrey's tonight in Baltimore. Giddy Up!!!

Set list to follow bitches!!!

Help Yourself to Cold Cuts, Cause We Are Family!

2010-02-10T19:58:00.007-05:00

RAQ, a favorite of mine, is returning from short 20 month hiatus and, not gonna lie to you, this little buck-a-roo couldn't be happier. You want to know what else makes this fact pretty much gravy?? A certain Toastmaster General is going to meet a few choice cohorts for a weekend in NYC to see 'em when they retur . This won't be the last time that this phrase is uttered but "Fuck and Yes"!! Who's gonna get all sorts of RAQ'ed?!?! This guy!!

So now, for your viewing and listening pleasure, a little "Brother From Another Mother". Enjoy.

Take a look at Yourself.

2010-02-07T06:45:00.005-05:00

The Washington DC area is full of some of the most self centered people I have ever encountered. Since moving here I have witnessed some of the most asinine behavior that one can witness. Every day it is people just looking to get ahead of each other no matter the cost. To coin a phrase from a good friend to this here blog: "You think you're better than ME?!?!" (points to self with own thumb)

Currently here in the District we are experiencing something known as "Snowmageddon". Bad title. (their words, not mine) In any event we have been hit with snow that is not well known around here, something like 22 inches in the past day. BOOM right?!?! Well, you can imagine that the roads are kinda not clear and for obvious reasons attempts at navigating them should pretty much be avoided, don't you think?? If you want a better reason to not go out on the roads, there has been a warning issued that you should stay off the fucking things. Nevertheless, people are out there trying to get to the gym, pick up some frozen pizzas, drive to the mall or whatever it may be that they so choose to risk their lives, and the lives of others for. But who am I to judge right, I mean these road warriors (good title) may be driving to church to pray for loved ones or in desperate need of medical attention so in an attempt to keep one of my two New Year's resolutions going I am looking to understand my fellow driver and not get so bitter and take direct offense to their every action.

So, where am I going with this. If reading comprehension has taught you anything you always pay attention to what happens in the introductory paragraph, that is where intentions for writing are often made clear. So, I am out and about at 6:15 am as I have a certain Tessie Girl that has awoken me from my slumber in some sort of wicked need for bathroom goings. I oblige by putting on the ol' winter coat, hiking boots, snow cap, and gloves and take the worthy mutt out to TCB, takin' care of business. As we make the rounds Tessie Dog is playing in the two feet plus of snow and I am carefully observing all around as it is still somewhat dark as the sun has yet to rise. Also, the dog is off her leash seeing as how it is wicked early and we've just been hit hard. Besides, Tessie Dog, she be a good dog and respectfully pays attention to her pack leader (We watch the Dog Whisperer from time to time). While trudging through the poorly cleared and snow filled roads of our neighborhood we come across a tiny foreign SUV, a Honda CRV or something that clearly does not have four wheel drive, that is struggling with in an intersection and has found itself stuck.

Without giving it a second thought and instructing Tessie to stay back I went in to lend a hand. So, while this car began trying to work itself out of a jam I, the courteous good Samaritan, went and pushed the car with all this 5'11" 200 lb frame could muster. After a hot minute of work, I was done, he was free, and that, pretty much, was the last that we saw of him. The guy just drove off. Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Not a thanks, or even a wave. He just sort of kept on driving down the road as his car broke through its snowy barrier, with my help might I add. At 6:30 in the morning on a Sunday, 14 degrees out in two fucking feet of snow, walking my cute and lovable dog no less I stop to help this guy and he just drives off. This occurred no more than an hour ago and I am still in awe and shock at the audacity of this, well this asshole I guess. I really don't know what else to say and am curious to get Kool-Aid's input when she gets out of that warm, cozy bed that I can't seem to crawl back in to.

This behaviour doesn't stop there either. Note the British spelling of behavior back there, nice touch huh?? In any event, no more than I week ago I was at the dog park with Tessie Dog around, I don't know 5:30 in the afternoon or so. The dog park that we go to is about 2 miles away and is this long, about 1/3 mile, somewhat narrow fenced in area along a stream, or crick as I knew them growing up. A pleasant path surrounded by trees, small hills, doggie dug holes, rocks, and for all purposes completely covered in wood chips. While on our way out I happened to notice that there was a cell phone sitting on the ground. I asked the surrounded people if it had belonged to any one of them; all met me with the same answer, no.

So, I turned to Tessie and told her that we were to head back through the park real quick-like to ask everyone we came across if they had lost their cell phone. A lesser man might have just left it there but I like to think that the same would be done for me. So we walked, asking everyone along the way. Some asked me what the phone looked like. Really??? What did that matter?? Check your pockets, your phone is either there, or it wasn't. For the record, it was a Blackberry Storm, or Monsoon, or 30% Chance of Showers, or whatever those things are called. As we neared the far end of the park I saw that a gentleman, in his late 40's I'd say was walking out and heading towards his Mercedes. Even though I told her to wait Tessie girl ran and followed me out of the park as I jogged towards this fella. This is where I asked him a similar question to those I asked so many others just a few minutes earlier. While seated in his luxury automobile he conducted a half hearted search of himself and then cried: "Oh yeah, must have fallen out." He then proceeded to start his car, muttered "Thanks" while checking his phone and began to back up and drive away.

Now, I don't need to be fawned over when receiving a thanks for a job well done nor do I need some sort of pat on the back or a cash reward, but really buddy??? That was it?? It was clear that I had run around the park looking for this phone's owner and that I had ran over to him while my dog had followed me out of the said park without a leash might I add and you are so self involved that while checking to see what calls you missed you give me a this shotty thank you attempt. I feel naked should I leave my cell phone at home, I just don't feel right at all and you had it worse. You lost yours, granted you didn't notice it. Regardless, I took the time out of whatever I had going to bring this phone back to its rightful owner and some half assed thanks was what I was met with?? Not in my house Jackson. I need to start punching people more.

This is why I cannot wait to get out of this self absorbed town. Everyone has their own agenda. All think their shit don't stink and have this utter sense of me first. I must get ahead, that is all that their brains appear to be running on. That being said, I don't want this passage to seem as though I walk around going "Oh woh is me" all the time, that DC is ALL ASSHOLES, or that I think that I'm the tops cause I give a little extra effort for my fellow man. I just think that some of the behavior that I have run into down here is ridiculous, unacceptable, and uncalled for. To think that these people probably have all that they want I am struggling to make ends meet just makes me sick. I like to think that they don't have a kick-ass Kool-Aid, or a world class Tessie Dog, or an awesome mane of hair that flows like the rivers of the mighty Danube. They probably have a Plasma TV though....dammit!!

Come Getcha Some!

2010-01-26T21:29:00.005-05:00

The Toast and Tessie Girl hiking in Shenandoah National Park. It's not much but damn are we cute. Figuratively speaking of course.

Pizza Play!!

2010-01-24T11:39:00.014-05:00

Due to the financial strains of planning a classy wedding, rather than going nuts on each other for Christmas this year Kool-Aid and I agreed upon pooling together and getting ourselves something that we both could enjoy. What that ended up being was a Nintendo Wii and let me tell you sumpin' internet audience, a better decision could not have been made.

Playing video games on the colorful level of the Nintendo does something to me. Even though I had never played the Wii before there is a certain level of nostalgia that it brings as opposed to the high tech, action packed games of the Playstation/Xbox realm which pretty much just blow me away with graphics, gameplay, and movie-esque story lines. Not so with the Wii. The games seem almost an almost simple kind of fun. Now, mind you I don't have much experience with this as we only have a few games for it so if I offend those by calling the Wii simple please expect my apology in advance. But in all seriousness, playing MarioKart or fooling around in the living room with Wii Tennis seems just a childlike pleasure to me and as inferred this is clearly not a bad thing. The cartoon graphics, the vivid colors, and the silly overall nature of these games have brought me back to my basement 20 or so years ago when times were less complicated and the Toast was back pain free.

One game in particular has the Toast reminiscing of days of yore. Soon after the Wii purchase I went out with a handful of the Target giftcards we collected and picked up Super Mario Bros. Wii and to keep this blog some what brief I will paraphrase the initital description of my excitement: DANG DANG DANG and WICKED AWESOME!! No, in all seriousness, I haven't had this much fun playing video games since I finally got that first nintendo so many years ago. I don't really know how to put this feeling of innocence into words so you'll have to forgive me if this is as far as I go.

Now, that being said, the Wii is not without it's faults. For example, I have had to go out and by like 4 different controllers for this thing, thus throwing the supposed saving money by toning down Christmas spending right out the fucking window. Nevertheless, on nights when Kool-Aid and I might have gone out and seen some shitty movie or gone to the bar for platefuls of mozz sticks and multiple pints of Guinness, the Wii has given us the option of goofing off together in the living room while allowing me to spend a little QT with my best girl. More importantly, I'm kinda already in my jammies by 8 o'clock on a Friday night as opposed to the far less fortunate leaving my Debit Card at the bar with an still to be paid tab. Whose the big winner??? This guy!! /points to self.

So, in closing: Wii = good, Jammies on a Friday night = even better, and Tessie Girl gets confused/terribly excited when we play Wii Boxing. You should hear the noises she makes, awful cute I tells ya!!

Oh, and There's This.

2010-01-16T14:29:00.003-05:00

My Morning Jacket is so fucking awesome. I couldn't find a good live video of this song in what would be ten minutes of searching so I settled on this. The song is called "Wordless Chorus" and it's sheer greatness should be apparent pretty much from the get go. If not, just wait a little bit longer. To me, James' voice is absolutely fantastic.

I'M BACK BAY-BEE!!!!

2010-01-16T13:23:00.004-05:00

Time to make a concentrated effort to this blog of mine again. To be honest with you, I want to make it a go as this train wreck aids in my airing of grievances, shout outs, high fives, general debauchery, what-have-you's, and so on. Here's to hoping that it sticks.

So, here come the grievances. I have recently undergone what the layman refers to as "a computer issue". While attempting to upgrade the laptop to Windows 7 almost three weeks ago the HP that was purchased in September crashed 95% through the install the four times it was attempted. Nothing left to do but bring it to Best Buy and have them take a look at it. Back and forth I went to retrieve my computer, return my computer, get unacceptable customer service and tech support, replacement of hard drives, arguing for programs to be reinstalled, only to still be left without the laptop weeks later. All for what, something that should be simple, at least according to all those Windows 7 commercials I see on TV. Next time.....I'm getting a Mac.

This present situation o'mine has gotten me thinking about what life is like being somewhat isolated. Thus, the return to the blog. Not gonna lie to you, kinda awful feeling disconnected to the world around you. Anytime you have an issue, with any sort of service (i.e phone, cable, etc.) you get directed to websites. Phone books no longer exist as info is found online. Hell, what's a map without mapquest?? Calling this feeling weird does not do this sense of being lost justice. I challenge you all to try it. Try going weeks without checking your email. Watch the news or read the paper for your information and current events. As I type this now on the special lady's work computer I can't begin to describe the feeling that has come over me. I have a world of information at my fingertips. To have that taken away from you, even if only for a total of 18 days, is just off putting.

In other news, the wedding is still on (nine months away is what I'ms told), Tessie Dog is still be the tops albeit she is rapidly approaching one year of age, and to top it all off the General here is on a vigorous workout regiment that gets me looking super fine. Why don't you female readers take a minute to gander at thoughts of all that. Nice right?? Oh...and did I tell you?? I'm applying for Grad School in the fall. It appears that Kool-Aid and I may be heading north to New England as my program really isn't found down here in the District. For those of you scoring at home, I'm going for Recreation Management, you know, Parks and Rec. administration type stuff and a school known as Springfield College is pretty much the bees knees when it comes to Recreation Management. Long story short, following my displacement from the working world over the summer I took stock of my situation, my ambitions, basically my looked at my life and decided that it was time to do what I wanted. To go after something that will make my professional life rewarding, fulfilling, and most importantly, enjoyable.

So, there you have it, a return to blogging for the Toastmaster. I just hope some of y'all are around to enjoy it. Alright, gotta run. Syracuse is playing West Virginia and I'm not devoted the proper amount of attention that a no. 5 vs. no. 9 match up deserves. Later bitches!!!

SHIT YEAH!!!

2009-09-22T17:22:00.004-04:00

Want to see one of the tops in all the land?!?!?! Of course you do. I mean...pay no mind to the wacky Brit in the getup, you know those English sort, but Muse really is the SHIT!! And it's new Muse to boot!!! Why, I couldn't be happier if you told me Pearl Jam had new music out!!!

Muse - Uprising live at Teignmouth 2009 (BBC)
Uploaded by teddie1979. - Explore more music videos.

The Toast's "Backspacer" review to come shortly.

Toastmaster General = Super Engaged!!

2009-08-26T16:23:00.003-04:00

This just in, I don't update my blog very often for some reason and I asked Kool-Aid to marry me. After much convincing she hesitantly agreed...JACKPOT!!!

"When something's broke, I want to put a little fixin' on it."

2009-07-21T13:53:00.003-04:00

For what it's worth, think I like the riff from "Got Some" a little better. Still, this new stuff appears none to shabby. What kills me is when I read some of the comments in regards to newer Pearl Jam beats and how it's not the same; not "grunge". These boys were never "grunge". A classic rock band in a modern era, hmmm...now we're getting somewhere. Take a look at yourself!!

"You'll wait with the star from a dream and know that I am gone. You'll feel it in your heart but not for very long."

2009-07-17T10:14:00.006-04:00

A little off of Wilco's new self titled album, sweet Jebus are they great. Oh yeah, sorry for recent bout with non-posting but I kinda got laid off, well about two weeks ago. Really, it's no big deal. Actually it's kind of a good thing, a god send if you will. Plus I get to spend a crazy amount of time with Tessie Girl, aged five months now. (See Below)

In any event, this post is not about layoffs or sweet sweet Tessie Girl. It is about the sheer awesomeness of Wilco.

Yeah!

Mutha Fuckin' Ireland: Kilkenny, Cashel, and Blarney

2009-06-23T13:01:00.015-04:00

So, when I go about doing things like uploading pictures, I upload the shit out of 'em. This isn't all the photos from our trip to Ireland, hell some of them aren't even that good. All that I know is that I just took my sweet ass time putting them on my computer and then took even longer to get them to my ever so masssive internet audience. So, without further ado, here are the pics of The Toast's trip to Ireland, with Kool-Aid in tow. Now, with even more small raccoon shots (I'll explain later)!!

Walking into central Kilkenny from our B&B.

Blaa...Blaa...Blaa...sandwiches!

Kilkenny Castle

St. Canice's Cathedral, Kilkenny

View of Kilkenny from atop tower at St. Canice's Cathedral

Kool-Aid and the Toast atop said tower

More Kilkenny

Even more Kilkenny

It's a long way to Tipperary. Kool-Aid and I used to live on Tipperary Hill in Syracuse, NY.

They have trees there too?!?!

Cashel, Co. Tipperary

Open till 17.30, when the shit is that???

Rock of Cashel

More Rock of Cashel

That's a rockin' Kool-Aid..HA!....sigh.

Well, certainly there's going to be a little showmanship.

My foist material possession, my stuffed raccoon Rocky also made the trip. Keep your eyes open for sighting.

Hore Abbey, Cashel, Co. Tipperary. This was right across the street from the Rock.

More Rock of Cashel

The view from the top of the hill

Imprisoned inside the Rock of Cashel. Watch out..that's one vicious coon!!!

Just some path that I liked that lead from Cashel to Hore Abbey

I crush your Abbey!

Kool-Aid and I doing what we do best, lookin' cute.

More Cashel

Cahir, Co. Tipperary

She's just so G.D. dorky.

Cahir Castle

Gratuitous action shot!

This castle was just sitting right in the middle of town in Cahir, like a Starbucks would here.

You wouldn't know it from the shot, but we's were drunk here. Last night in Kilkenny.

Blarney Castle, Blarney, Co. Cork. Home of the infamous Blarney Stone.

Blarney Castle

From inside Blarney Castle

Eh..it's a staircase, what of it?

Tree outside Blarney Castle. The whole grounds were pretty amazing.

A path..a path..

Cobh and the Dingle Peninsula

2009-06-23T12:40:00.013-04:00

The village of Cobh, Co. Cork. (pronounce Cove)

I think Kool-Aid took this one. For all you purple flower fans out there.

Cobh

Cobh

St. Colman's Cathedral, Cobh.

Cobh was all hilly and shit, and our B&B was right on the top of said hills.

Had some beers here...niiiice.

Ladies and Gentlemen..welcome to the Dingle Peninsula (I wish that damn van didn't make the picture though)

Dingle, Co. Kerry

Kool-Aid feeding Fungie, the Dingle Dolphin our Ireland guide book.

This seems about right.

Our B&B in Dingle was a sheep farm. Once again, this seems about right.

Dingle Peninsula might very well have been the most beautiful place I've ever been. Take a ganders for yourself

Dingle

We basically drove around this 30 KM cliffside road, and this is what you saw.

See the rearview mirror??

More Dingle Coastline

Aforementioned Road

This path rolled you down a hillside ultimately to the beachy coast.

Rocky and I in cold-ass Atlantic Ocean water.

More Dingle Coastline

And again.

And again.

An Dangean. (Irish)

From the Dingle Peninsula to Galway

2009-06-23T12:27:00.014-04:00

Sheep!!

The Ferry from Co. Kerry to Co. Clare.

Action Shots!!

Kool-Aid and I aboard the Shannon Breeze.

Outside the Cliffs of Moher, Co. Clare

Unfortunately this was the only day we experience shitty weather for the trip. This is what the Cliffs of Moher should look like.

Toastmaster in the Burren, Co. Clare

Same shot. Limestone everywhere!!

The Burren, where there are no trees to hang a man. Where there is not enough water to drown him. And if you finally succeeded in killing him, it's too rocky to bury him.

More Burren.

Galway and Dublin

2009-06-23T11:37:00.031-04:00

Galway Cathedral
Galway was the shit!!

More Galway

Dog Waste: A threat to the health of our children.

More canals in Galway.

Galway

Kool-Aid and I under the Spanish Arch

Pie Face was fucking delicious!!!

Galway Harbor, was a stopover for the 2009 Volvo Ocean race the weekend we were there.

Eyre Square, part of it at least.

Ireland's fast food, Supermac! Burger actually wasn't too bad.

Shop Street, kind of the main strip of pubs and..you guessed it, shops.

The Quays, ooh, I spent a month there one night. Damn good beef stew too.

Rocky getting into the black stuff.

More Shop Street.

Galway come nighttime. It didn't get dark till like 10:30 there.

Dublin!

Outside the Guinness Storehouse, St. James Gate.

Kool-Aid and the Toast pumping out our own pints.

A desheveled Toastmaster General with a fresh pint.

Kool-Aid smilin' big!!

Rocky done got into the Black Stuff again, although from what I hear it's more a dark red.

Trinity College

Kool-Aid and a freshly shaved Toast in the Trinity College Courtyard

I'm sorry, the Rock doesn't adhere to your conformist rules Trinity College.

Christ Church Cathedral

Christ Church Cathedral, the other side.

St. Patrick's Cathedral

Rock and a fountain in St. Patrick's Cathdral Courtyard

The Toast at the Brazen Head, Ireland's oldest pub. Est. 1198.

Eh..Just a shot of Dublin. Enjoy.

Last Night's Setlist

2009-06-16T12:16:00.004-04:00

June 15, 2009, Baltimore, MD, Lyric Opera House
Ed solo tour - opening: Liam Finn

Set list: Walking the Cow, (Brain Damage intro) -> Sometimes, Trouble, Around The Bend, I Am Mine, Far Behind, No Ceiling, Guaranteed, Rise, Picture In A Frame, You're True, Open All Night (Springsteen), Driftin', You've Got To Hide Your Love Away, Let My Love Open The Door, Parting Ways, Small Town, Porch

1st encore: Society (with Jerry Hannan), Throw Your Arms Around Me (with Liam Finn), Golden State (with Eliza), Forever Young, Wishlist, Arc

2nd encore: Hard Sun

Not gonna lie to you, the show was pretty amazing and despite my best efforts not to I got kinda drunk. Vedder was once again engaging with the crowd although not as much this time around as opposed to the show I went to last year. The crowd for the most part was pretty cool, aside from your assortment of douchebags just screaming out requests for classic PJ songs. One kid in particular just kept yelling for "State of Love and Trust", which I know is a kick-ass tune and all, but come-on buddy, this ain't no Pearl Jam show here. The crowd also kinda ruined his version of Arc in which Eddie will just keep looping in different notes, screeches, and other various Eddie noises. However, te crowd just started clapping as if it were already time to coax Eddie into his second encore even though, well, he was still working on his first one. Unfortunately for those still sitting on their hands, Arc was cut short and was almost immediately followed by encore number 2. So it goes.

Aside from all that, my apparent miscommunication of t-shirt size (I came home with an XL as opposed to the standard Toast L) and the fact that I was wicked ass hungry due to no pre-show eats my second go-'round with a solo Vedder was none to shabby. One might even be pursuaded enough to call it the tops!!

Toastmaster General: Man of Intrigue, Lover, Rocker, Dog Wrangler, Captain of Hilarity, Dangerous Liason, Writer???

2009-06-12T09:17:00.010-04:00

The Toast is a man of many and yet, very few talents. For example, I can recite lyrics to songs that I haven't heard in years yet I cannot for the life of me do the running man. So it goes. For what it's worth I tend to be the creative sort that may not constantly be in search of new opportunities to put it on display as the day to day can keep me quite content but every so often I just find myself getting disgusted with a few things. I'll tell myself: "Self...it's about time for a change." Then said change either occurs or just falls wayside to the demands of being all of those individuals you see in this here post's title.

But what this that's stuck at the end of that descriptive Toastmaster list? Writer it done say. I know what you may be thinking: "You count this blog as writing Toast?? For shame; it's just a bunch of nonsense with some video clips. It's like one of those 150 episode clip shows for chrissakes." Well, I'd consider you correct in making that observation, if it were true. No, the writing that I am more referring to has to do with real book type stuff. You know, high class stuff. Editing and everything.

A long time goal of mine has been to write a children's book. Now, the problem with following your dreams is that often the result is to get sick of following them and you make the conscious decision to hook up with them later. This is something that I know oh too well. Just the other day I was sitting in my office and I yet again came to the realization that I am indeed in a rut in my life. Now, this has nothing to do with my life at home mind you, that is AMAZING. I have a wonderful lass and I'm not even talking about Tessie Girl yet. I have the Kool-Aid that I intend to spend the rest of my life with. I live comfortably. Travel a bit. Get outdoors and am quite active. Look good in pants. A kick ass pup. I own all of Arrested Development on DVD. I go to shows (Vedder, Umphreys, Wilco, Moe., and Tool lined up over the upcoming weeks). I make fucking amazing eats. Happy right???

No, this deal is all on the work side. I like what I do, you might even say that I enjoy it...at times that is. I mean, I interact with some amazing individuals and I am learning quite a bit every day, which can't hurt right?? However, I am finding more and more that what I do and what I am going to keep doing for the time being seriously puts a damper on one thing that really revs my engine...my creativity. Now I suppose I can get creative in the realm of office politics or how I teach the epic wonder that is Quickbooks and it's integration with my company's various programs and systems but let's be honest, how the hell are you going to effectively jazz that shit up?? And Politics...not for me. So, where does this leave me?? How do I find an outlet for this "supposed" creativity that is not only invigorating but also productive?? How do I get out of this rut?? Then, on a rainy ass Tuesday afternoon in my office the light bulb went off.

Screw waiting to hook up with my dreams when the time is right. I will write and write I shall. I'm tired of saying that I've always wanted to get into Children's Literature. I'm sick of using the excuses. "Oh, I don't have enough time to write" or "I don't have the right degree to get into that, stupid B.A. in History." No, I am going to use some of this time that I do inevitably have for good use, true use. Since that Tuesday afternoon I have started to fill up a few pages of a notebook that I keep at my desk with some ideas, brainstorming if you will and I feel as though I have a puh-RET-tee good idea in terms of my books topic. I may even have a title for this flash of Toastie creativity. Now I just have to keep fanning the flames to get this fire really going.

I'm not expecting this thing to be done overnight and obviously I still have a few things to work out but I tell you this, I am awfully excited about it. Rejuvenated even. Where I go from here is still wide open but the fact that I am doing something about it surely is a step in the right direction. All that's left is for me to decide on now is whether I want deep dish or thin crust. In all seriousness I feel like I am standing at the foothill of a cliff whose top that leads to immense opportunity and all its going to take for me to get to the top is a little elbow grease, determination, some luck, and, of course, my own somewhat eccentric yet highly personal flair. You know what internet audience, it is just so goddamn exciting.

"I won't wait for answers, you can't keep me here."

2009-06-09T14:37:00.006-04:00

Ireland Pics to come but I have to share this with you all. Guess who's getting to see himself some solo Eddie Vedder on Sunday night up in Baltimore?? Need a hint, he's everyone's favorite Toastmaster General and he just shelled out some mean bucks for a show he didn't know existed until after his lunchtime sammich. Impromtu shows kick so much ass and Vedder to boot; HOT DAMN!! You can't make this stuff up. The word is still out on whether or not pre-show crabs will be on the menu for the Toast but I'm guessing all signs point to yes.

**Sidenote** I have this crazy goal of learning how to play the ukulele/mandolin/banjo. This so has to come to fruition.

Fuck and Yes!!

2009-06-07T07:43:00.003-04:00

Pearl Jam was on Conan's First Ever Tonight Show last week and because I was still catching up from my trip I didin't watch my recording of the show till yesterday morning, post Tessie bathroom run. So...you say that Backspacer doesn't technically come out til late September. "When will then be now?? Soon."

Oddly enough Krejci is really hard to spell

2009-06-03T08:39:00.007-04:00

I just read that the Bruins re-signed Free Agent Center David Krejci and while this isn't necessarily a sports/bruins blog I do love me some sports and I do love me this re-signing of Krecji. GREAT SUCCESS!!!

Now, the real reason for posting this, I just really like the picture. Oh, and to let you know that I'm back state side. Actually, I'm in my office typing this story that informs many a internet reader that the Toast be back. Pics and stories from Ireland to come. For those who are wondering, the term "sheer awesomeness" does not do the country justice.

Ireland...Bitches!!!

2009-05-22T08:38:00.004-04:00

The Toast with Kool-Aid in tow fly out of Philly tonight around 8pm and are set to land in Dublin at 8am following a sweet 7 hour flight into the future. From there the itinerary is just jam packed to the gills with stops in Kilkenny, Cobh (pronounce Cove), Clonakilty (home of the Big Fella), Dingle, Galway, and trip rounds out with a couple days in Dublin. Ay...Great Success!!

So, hopefully the internet will be able to keep on truckin' without my witty banter and general nonsensicalness. Pictures to follow. Till then, I'm OUT!!

"What could be Better than a beer with Eddie Vedder"

2009-05-20T08:28:00.004-04:00

Ahhhhhh Magic Hat....thou art so wise.

Wait a tic...hold the phone....I'm going to Ireland on Friday?!?!

2009-05-18T14:05:00.005-04:00

Yeah...so it's kinda come to my attention that I am slated to head across the pond as they say at the end of the week; Friday to be exact. Not gonna lie to you internet audience, this has sort of caught me off guard. I mean, reservations have been made. My passport still flies. I can afford to take this trip. I know how to drive stick. Tessie Girl staying at her weekly dogwalker's arrangements have been made. Realistically, all I have to do is make sure I have enough underpants for 9 days in Ireland.

And yet...something seems amiss. I mean, am I excited to go; you bet your sweet bippy I am. I am looking forward to touring the Irish Countryside with Kool-Aid something very fierce. But how can it be that it is still to sink in?? Really, I've known about this trip for quite some time, this really isn't a surprise here. I don't know, perhaps it's due to the fact that my mind really isn't quite here at the office today and I've already checked out for this vacation that I can't seem to remember fully. Maybe I was sooo into Playoff Hockey that I am not really a part of the "real" and just mindlessly floating along?? Maybe I just need to suck it up and come to grips that I am heading to Awesome Town come week"s end?? Yeah...that last one seems about right.

To tell you the truth Toastedblog friends, no one could be as up for a trip to Ireland as your's truly. I mean, Europe, a few beers, a few laughs, my kin, fellow Cregg run-ins, QT with the Kool-Aid, boiled meats, Guinness, what-have-you's: this sure sounds like the real deal to me. And don't get me wrong, I am all-up-ons here. I just think that my head is a bit too focused on the task at hand (i.e. workies) and not really set with this whole kickass vacation thingie. Don't you worry, I'll be gettin' there. If not....there is something really wrong with me.

Guess I'll have to wait a little while longer.

2009-05-15T12:21:00.004-04:00

Well, I've already waited close to 30 years to see my beloved Bruins win the Stanley Cup (a total of 37 years since the last time they triumphantly hoisted the trophy), what's a little while longer?? I was sooo damn angry the moment I saw that puck go in the net in the waining minutes of the first overtime. Following that moment, there was only pain. Felt like hurty.

The sad thing is, I really thought that this was going to be the year I finally got to see it happen. This was to be the year, THEIR YEAR!!! Top flight goaltending, Big Z, the ability to roll out 4 lines all of which can put the puck in the net, good powerplay, even better penalty killing. I'm not going to go on and on on their loss last night, ousting the B's from the playoffs. As much as it pains me to say it, it is only a game. That being said, it is a game that I was heavily invested in; whether it be time, heart, beers, money for beers, and a desire to see my team just keep on keepin' on.

For the first time in a long time, my team had a shot. They showed promise. Now all I can think about is, how long will it be till I can once again invest all that I have in them?? Is it next year?? Please let it be next year. On that note, thanks for the ride this year B's. True I'm a little disappointed but like anything else worth having, I can wait and I know full well that in time I will come to forget how bummed I am this morning, just a few short hours after your season, and mine has come to an end. Besides, it's summer. Time to get outside and do some shit. Look at that sun. Look at that puppy!! Look at that hot ladyfriend!! Hell, you're going to Ireland in a week.

Sure Toast, go ahead and tell yourself whatever you need to. I mean it...I'm very upset!!

BEAR MAD...BEAR BASH!!

2009-05-13T09:20:00.008-04:00

Let me set the mood here for you folks. Think Tuesday evening at 7:30. A certain Toastmaster General is about 4 beers in and some delicious Toast-made chicken wing pizza with all it's freaky naughty fine aroma's fill the air. Tessie girl has worked herself into a pants biting frenzy. She knows what time it is. Yeah...it's business time. The time for business. Business hours are not over. Who else knew what time it was?? Well a certain team from Boston that has garnered a lot of this blogger's attention of late. You see, the Bruins, they too knew it was business time and last night they pretty much held one of those lame informal seminars for the 'Canes winning Game 6 of their Best of Seven series with Carolina 4-2 to force a Game 7 in Boston on Thursday.

Now, they weren't the dominant Bruins per-say, the ones that we saw on Sunday night in Game 5. Nevertheless they looked damn good when it counted and really took it to the 'Canes in the first period; a period that saw them jump out to a 2-0 lead. More importantly, all of this talk of Carolina poking the Bear and that Bear has finally woken up awfully ornery; well now it is starting to have some merit and not just some one time deal with their backs to the wall. When the going got tough last night with Carolina coming within one goal of tying Boston and those "Caniacs" all-up-ons and getting that joint a-rocking, the B's got going. They coolly stuck to their game and what was an edge of his seat situation for the Toast, and all Boston fans, quickly became a 3-1 lead with some steady heads up play, and one hell of a set-up for Mark Savard by Milan Lucic.

Long story short, the B's didn't get rattled. They didn't let the whole Walker-Ward debacle from Sunday get them out of their game. Lucic and Thornton weren't taking wild runs at the Carolina skaters. What can really sum up last night's game is the play of center Patrice Bergeron. In one word, SOLID. To add some more words to it, an all around, kick ass, both sides of the game, 110% effort, fucking awesome-a-thon.

So, where does this leave the Toast you ask?? Well, since Detroit couldn't close out their series last night against the Ducks like I so desparately wanted them to, both series are set for their finales tomorrow night. And since the only hockey channel that shows playoff games (FUCKING COMCAST, why do I pay more for the NHL Network to not get any sweet, sweet playoff action?!?!) I seem to get is Versus and Versus loves to slurp the Wings as they're kinda the Yankees of hockey guess what game they shall be showing?? Finally, since I am slated to see the Shins tomorrow night and said Bruins Game 7 is out there, unable for me to DVR. Do I feign illness and not go only to run out to a bar to watch it?? So far, my only other option is to call the 9:30 Club and see if they'll put the B's game on for me. I can watch hockey and have the Shins show in the background right?? Maybe some chicken tenders to boot?? My fingers are now crossed.

"I said GODDAMN!!!"

2009-05-11T15:18:00.006-04:00

Above you'll see Boston Defenseman Aaron Ward amidst his getting sucker punched by Carolina Hurricane Scott Walker late in the third period of last night's Bruins win 4-0 of Game 5 of the Best of Seven series. Ward doesn't even have his gloves off.

Now, a lot is starting to be made of this event in the Hockey Community. The fact that Ward shouldn't have stood there defenseless like this or that Ward was obviously asking for a cheap shot for all of the stuff that he does night in and night out to opposing players behind the scenes. Nevertheless, at the end of the day what remains is that Walker took a run at Ward and followed that up with a shot to his mush that busted up Ward's orbital bone. For this, the anticipated response from the league was an obvious suspension for Walker. Instead, he received a fine that I could pay off should I choose to not pay rent for a little bit. Ward's status for Game 6 remains to be seen but I wouldn't be surprised to see him out there with a cage on.

I'm not pissed off at the league, or officials, or at 'Canes fan's that clearly have some kind of misunderstanding at what playoff hockey is all about. I am actually a fan of the nonsuspension as it gives some of the more physical B's to line up Walker and take a clean shot at him (although that probably won't happen so I should expect something chippy). I'm more kinda peeved at what Carolina Coach Paul Maurice had to say in response to last night's events.

Hurricanes coach Paul Maurice laughed off the possible repercussions.
“Scott probably has sore knuckles,” he said. When asked whether there will be a fine, he added: “I may have to sell my truck.”

Kinda makes him sound like a bit of a dick doesn't it??

In any event, I'm looking forward to a hard fought Game 6 and good news is that should this series go to Game 7, which would probably be played on Thursday night (I am assuming that Thursday would be the night, will probably look into it following this post) I am slated to go see the Shins here in the district with Kool-Aid. How the hell am I going to get out of that one?? I'm hoping that this series doesn't turn into who can out trump who in regards to playing like a bunch of assholes and the two teams turn to playing ol' time hockey Eddie Shore, Bobby Orr style. This isn't a slam, but I wonder how many 'Canes fan's get that reference??? Easy Toast...let's pump the breaks here.

The Toast of Yore

2009-05-06T15:45:00.004-04:00

Back in the day, you know, those freshman in college days (circa '97-98), we used to rock this shit!!! Still, the best version of "Stars" by Hum belongs to "Iceberg Slim", my bestest buddy Chuck's band during those same college years. Now, if I had my way, they would have been named "Horny Rottweiler". Hmmm..I wonder what other things would be different if they'd only gone according to the Toast. I tell you what, I'd probably have a cheese-steak right now.

**Sidenote** And the award for most awesomely blunt band update goes to Hum's wikipedia page: "They have not been consistently active as a recording or touring group since 2000." oooh....you hate to see that.

Taking a page out of Dunford's book.

2009-05-04T16:18:00.010-04:00

Because I couldn't think of anything to write about today I've decided that an old adage is the best way to go. "Chances are someone else has already done it better than you ever could so just copy them."

I present to you, five awesome things (recent):

1. Wilco in July

Wilco is playing here in N. Virginia in early July. Haven't had the luxury of seeing them yet but when I do it'll be at a local outdoor venue known only as WolfTrap. You know what's sweet about WolfTrap??? It's a small outdoor venue that allows you to bring coolers to the lawn seats. Hot Damn!!!

2. Chicken Vesuvio

This is some Italian Dish that I made on Sunday Night that went along nicely with a Bruins loss (dangited!!) It's chicken, a couple cut-up taters, cooked in marsala wine, a shit-ton of garlic, a few eye-talian herbs and spices, and according to the Dinosaur Cookbook, some Dino BBQ sauce. Delicious does not do it justice.

3. Dog Walking

You want random people to tell you that you're awesome, get puppy dog that does puppy things, like bark at inanimate objects.

4. Mickey Rourke

Rented "The Wrestler" the other night. Do the same and try not to reference this movie in your blog afterwards. You've just been dared...BOOM!!! (no seriously, Rourke is awesome in this flick, plus any guy that played Marv, digs chihuahuas, and gave up acting to return to the ring has gotta be awesome. He. Just. Has. To.

5. Bangkok 54

This is a local Thai restaurant that Kool-Aid and I have both been to and ordered from in the recent weeks. Sure, it's no Thai Restaurant/Bar/Karaoke hydra like you'll find in the "Electric City", but does it have delicious and super spicy Pad Thai and Fiery Chicken Kaproa??? You bet your sweet ass it does. Plus, I have no idea what the sauce is that comes with the spring rolls, but god damn is it tasty!!

As an added bonus, I'll give you the sixth free (take that Dunford)

6. Free chicken parm and wine after your friend teaches you to drive stick.
In preparation for our trip to Ireland, Kool-Aid and I are learning how to drive stick. Oddly enough, we never were taught the ways of manual transmission, through no fault but our own. Were we naturals?? Sure. Did it take long?? About 30 minutes, then we hit the mean streets of the District. Did Emily, our instructor/fellow Ireland traveler make us some fried stuff with cheese and and sauce?? You damn right!!

Great Caesar's Ghost....It's the "Brass Bonanza"!!

2009-05-01T14:29:00.005-04:00

Sweet Jebus, I miss organ music at hockey games. Now everything's all rock n' roller on the grunge tip, but hockey games were meant to feature the likes of the organ during stoppages in play. The majesty that presents itself above is none other than the "Brass Bonanza", the theme song for the since disbanded Hartford Whalers. Hartford, the whale????

Why this little piece of hockey nostalgia today?? Well, the Bruins are set to begin their playoff series against the former whale tonight and this guy is set to show his Kool-Aid a night she'll never forget. What's that consist of you ask?? Well, a date night including damn fine deep dish pizza, Batty Blues, a sports bar full of dudes (of which she'll already have the proverbial "pick of the litter" and high brow Eastern Conference Playoff Hockey. This here is the stuff dreams are made of. You ladies out there should wish you get this kind of royal treatment. It's like she's a freakin' Princess or something.

In any event, even though the Bruins come in favored this series, the Carolina Hurricanes are certainly no pushover. It's going to take a good amount of Canadian Beer to console me should the B's drop Game 1 and that stuff is like moonshine. (Hell Yes!!) See, that guy knows what I'm talking about.

In related news, Tessie completed a walk (incident free) around the block last night, her first non-difficult walk in almost a week. There was much rejoicing. I was starting to wonder if we'd scarred her or but she pulled something out of her bag of tricks and acted like a normal pup for a minute there. She would later knock over a full NALGENE bottle and respond by going to the bathroom on the rug. ACES!!!

Ah hell, just root for the Bruins tonight so I don't ruin this "date night" with my special lady by creating a scene, possibly while blindingly drunk. That's not going to help things at all.

"Tessie"

2009-04-29T15:22:00.003-04:00

Click to play and see below. A little insight into where the name for my wonder-mutt originates from.

"We're not here to mess around!"

2009-04-29T14:57:00.012-04:00

Well, now that you got Dropkick full on in the background why don't you go ahead and get lost into the wonder that is my pup. Tessie, you truly are the only only OHHH-OHH-NLY!!

That's 9 pounds of puppy right there. Yup, you heard that right, she's packing on some poundage.

"A-buuuuhhhh"

Attacking Rocky III. I mean really, did you hate the training montage with Apollo and Rocky on the beach that much. Plus, Clubber Lang was the best Rocky bad guy this side of Ivan Drago.

She like to attack my jammies. I can't get her to stop. (Psst...the guy in the blue pants is me.)

A nice photo op with her Mr. Squeakerton.

Expect more photos to come. I can see why they're called proud parents. You should here her post bathroom praises, you would have thought she'd won a pulitzer with all the "good girl" talk going around "Fort Awesome" these days.

Toast runs 10K in 90 degree heat, surprisingly is still alive

2009-04-27T14:03:00.005-04:00

Now, I don't have a problem running great distances, never really have. I just kind of keep chugging away at a steady clip. Not gonna blow anyone away, but certainly not slacking either. Just good enough to not get noticed. I guess you can say that about all sports I play, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

In any event, yesterday morning I was greeted with my alarm at 6AM to take out Tessie just before I hopped in the volkswagen to head up ol' Maryland way to take part in Pike's Peek, a local 10K. I've run a few 10K's in my day, few 15's as well. They're nothing to be afraid of, actually they're kinda fun as opposed to their bitchy little brother the 5K. I hate those, you don't get to spend any real time enjoying the race as its short enough so anyone who's anyone will sign up to run a few miles without properly training for it. This makes for a difficult run as you have to get through the gauntlet of walkers that are out there. But a 10K, that'll scare a few more people away. I mean, that's damn near 6+ miles. Plus, you can run somewhat leisurely unless you want to be a dick about it and try to blow people out of the water. Basically, what I am trying to get across is this; it's an easy run if you're looking for something around a 9 minute mile clip that you can kinda relax, enjoy, listen to your tunes, and get some free eats afterwards as you just paid close to $40 to run. Congrats. Why don't you just pat yourself on the back??

Anywho, the downside of all of this is it can get pretty G.D. hot down here in the District. So, even though these races usually get underway early in the morning (circa 8am) by the time you're running that sun is getting hot something fierce. Throw in the fact that you're running on some asphalt road with fresh blacktop and little to no shade and that will make things a little more interesting to say the least. Yesterday, it was something like 89 degrees when the race began and it got so bad that those throwing this little shindig ran out of water. Well..isn't that just the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas?? They say its not so much the heat but the humidity. Those people are assholes!! Hot is for the birds, whatever hot it is. (except hot wings, hot sauce, hot turkey sandwich, Andy Capp's Hot Fries, hot ladies, spicy hot mustard)

Why am I talking about all of this?? Does this blog have any merit left?? The answer to both of those questions is simple enough, who knows?? I just wanted to tell you how badass I am. Yup, paying a good chunk of change to wake up ass early on a Sunday and run to damn near heat exhaustion just plain ol' screams don't mess with this guy. Idiot.

The best part was that I went out for a few pops afterwards as to seal the deal and fully destroy any attempt to accomplish things on my Sunday. You want blast off time?? Why don't you go run a couple hard miles in extreme heat, limit your water intake, then polish off a couple tall boys at "insert bar here". You'll forget all your woes and pass out watching playoff hockey in various positions in no time.

Leftovers, Puppies, and Hockey

2009-04-22T10:23:00.006-04:00

As you can see my plan for the evening is pretty simple. Kool-Aid is going to be out and about doing Kool-Aid things till late, the Bruins are up 3-0 in their series against the Habs, I have leftover chicken enchiladas in the fridge, and a 10 week old black lab puppy that is in the process of learning all of the Alpha's rules. Since Kool-Aid isn't going to be around, she's just going to have to experience Fort Awesome run by the Toast. Ooooh....get ready for your first sip of beer there little lady. You'll soon learn to love it, just like me.

Oh...and there's this. You're probably already picking up what I'm about to put down by now by Kool-Aid and the Toast are the proud owners of a small, sack of flour sized black lab pup whom we've dubbed "Tessie" (song posting to come, stupid at work internet filters). Prepare yourselves to be beaten over the head with all sorts of puppy pictures, inuendos, and random stories regarding her cuteness as I have a pretty good feeling that I'm going to be "that" type of dog owner. She's just too damn awesome not to be. Photos to come so my many, many internet readers can bask in and gaze at all her splendor.

Half Drunk Chomping on Pizza!!

2009-04-17T10:15:00.007-04:00

This is a shot of Bruins Captain, 6'9" Man-Beast Defenseman, and 260 lb cycling enthusiast Zdeno Chara following his third period game winner last night. His one time blast from the point gave the B's a 3-2 lead late in the third period of Game 1 of their series against the Montreal Canadians; a game that they'd end up winning 4-2. My response was a pizza filled yelp of "Fuck and Yes" while I was at a local sports bar called Bugsy's, the only place I know that they show hockey around here, other than the Cap's of course. Bugsy's was a last minute audible as a channel that I pay for through my local cable provider called the NHL Network apparently doesn't show any playoff hockey games. It was a stupid, stupid buy.

Game 2 is Saturday night at 8, here's to hoping that I don't spend another $50 on beer and pizza as fingers are crossed to watch the game at home from the couch rather than a small crowded bar that sells Labatt's (only bar I've found that does). I don't know, I just like watching my team from home, where I can hear, sit comfortably, and pause for bathroom runs. Whatever, I don't need to 'splain this to you. You're just a computer.

Oh..and for those scoring at home, I had the pepperoni and mushroom deep dish. HEEY!

What's in a name??

2009-04-16T08:56:00.008-04:00

Well folks, this just in. Kool-Aid and I are getting a dog. The past few weeks has been a proverbial roller coaster ride in trying to adopt one but we've finally made some head way over the last week. Basically, adopting a dog from an agency in Northern Virginia is more difficult than storming the beaches of Normandy, completing the necessary pre-requisite testing for entering college, and quitting smoking combined. We've literally sent out dozens of applications with little to no response until just recently we heard back. Take a look below.

Tonight the plan is to meet the foster parent, wow her with my hauntingly beautiful blue eyes and Kool-Aid's ability to use big words, meet said pup, and let the agency take it from there. All this needs to get done in time for me to watch Game 1 of the Bruins v. Canadians series. Hmmm...me thinks it is going to be a bit tougher than anticipated. HUZZAH DVR..HUZZAH!!

Anyway, the course of action now is to name this little fella. I like this guy the best but this foster lady has a few pups, of mixed genders (OW!!) to choose from. Since this pup attainment operation was put in motion, the wheels have been turning in order to get a name that seems fit for a dog owned by the likes of folks named Toastie and Kool-Aid. Long story short, There are some requirements so, it's kinda gotta be kick ass. Maybe something that ties in to my likes, wants, needs, and general all around awesomeness. But it also has to reflect the gender a bit too. I mean, there's no need naming a girl dog "Gary" now is there?? Also....it has to be kinda stupid (i.e. Gary). Feel free to toss out any ideas but here's some of what we've been thinking. The ones with the music references are pretty much all me.

- Bayliss (Front man of Umphrey's)
- Janie (from "Janie Jones" by the Clash)
- Bowie
- Eddie "Barkey von Schnauzer"
- the aforementioned "Gary"
- Josie (came to me while I was listening to "The Inlaw Josie Wales" by Trey Anastasio)
- Buster (for so many reasons)
- Dusty Bottoms (see "Three Amigos")
- Ripley (Aliens is the shit!! Regardless, it's a pretty good dog name)
- Daltrey (sounds like a Butler, but an homage to the Who's front man)
- O'Riley (kinda goes with the above, i.e. "Baba O'Riley)
- McCready (anything to do with Mike McCready basically is synonymous with awesome)
- eh...there's others

Has it really been 15 years?

2009-04-08T09:04:00.008-04:00

Recently I noticed that it has been 15 years since the "tragic" death of Kurt Cobain. The word tragic is in the frequently used by Toast quotations as the bastard did shoot himself; that being said it was a bit of o'tragedy as the world of music would never be the same. What does music have to show in the 15 years since?? MTV has gone from the way to get music out there to never showing a damn video. Seriously, not a one. Instead they are chock full to the gills of reality television and some show that I don't know a single thing about called "The Hills". Apparently it's Lauren's last season??? WHO THE FUCK IS LAUREN??

Kool-Aid tells me that "The Hills" is about these rich girls that look good and buy stuff and that all the girls at her work go fuck crazy nuts over it. What I want to know is, where is the music?? And this question isn't just for television. Media today is way past my know how. I mean, the cd industry is dead. 15 years!! Obviously I live in the internet age now, something that was just really getting underway all those years ago when Cobain blew his head off. Such a tortured soul. Please, I understand you're an artist and you suffer painstakingly for your craft. I also understand that you suffered from various ailments and intestinal disorders that made it greatly uncomfortable for you in the day to day. That's why you adhere to a steady heroin regiment. Don't tell me you used that stuff for just for the high??

Anyway, I'm getting off track. It is just difficult for me to comprehend the fact that it's been 15 long/short years since a major influence for the music side of me stopped making music...for various reasons...okay, one reason. Where has the time gone?? Where has the music gone?? Better yet, where has the musical talent gone?? Oh, it can still be found (i.e. take another ganders of what I left you in the post below). Maybe, what I should really be seeking an answer to is; where has the intelligence of the masses gone?? Culture?? Are we really all about dancing with the stars?? Is the best thing we have to offer the world the ups and downs of Jessica Simpson's weight or the primadonna rock'n'rolla lifestyles of our atheletes?? Please Obama, give this country something to be proud of again. I implore you.

Maybe I should just come to terms with the fact that things are just not the same. That the world has changed over the last 15 years. When we live in an age when any idiot with a computer can post their opinions on the web for all to see and read (i.e. this blog, I'm no exception to the rule) things are gonna get dumbed down. Perhaps I'm not giving people enough credit. Perhaps I'm being too cynical. Perhaps I should be blaming Cobain for some of this. I mean, after all, Cobain made it cool to sing about your feelings and still rock at the same time; of course he's gonna get his fair share of copycats. Someone's already done it, probably ten times better than you ever could. Might as well just try to follow his template and try to cash in, am I right. Well, do you know what that gets you 15 years later?? Emo Rock. Ugh.....(shudders at desk)

Okayokayokayokay...I apologize for this rant. I didn't get much sleep last night. Sometimes, I just want you to know that I'm more than movie quotes and song clips. I'm really a happy camper and I still looove to rock. And there are still a ton of beats out there for me to jam, to discover, to inform as many people as I can about. If anything, my tastes aren't mainstream so the fact that Pop Music is so garbage these days really shouldn't effect me. I just have this perception of things sometimes and it really grinds my gears. In any event, 15 years. 15 years since Cobain took off from rockin' via a shotgun blast. Makes you think huh?? Well, makes me think anyway. In closing...Umphrey's is the shit, Pearl Jam is still rockin' the free world, and how come no-one talks about the death of Layne Staley?? Good god Alice in Chains was awesome!!! Later boners.

Sidenote: Oddly enough, it has been 7 years since the death of Staley, who was pronounced dead exactly 8 years to the day (April 5, 1994 and 2002) following Cobain. And people note the number of musicians dying at the age of 27, yet no one really seems to bring this up. Probably due to how Staley was at the time of his death. Hell, the five years leading up to his death for that matter

"I said GODDAMN!!!"

2009-04-04T15:32:00.006-04:00

Above you'll notice the band Umphrey's McGee, the very same band that I'm a-gonna catch to in only a few short hours just up the road in Baltimore. Watching the video from the 5:30 mark on will instantly cause you to lose your shit. You've been warned.

Grumblecakes

2009-04-02T17:10:00.003-04:00

You ever have those days when you just want to vault yourself down a flight of stairs?? No??? Uh....me either. Just been dangited since the get-go I'm afraid. Eh....don't let it get you down Toast, you've still got Friday to get though and I hate to tell you this but in order to do that you're definitely going to need to get that I-Pod thingy fixed. I don't think I want to know what this office is like without dem beats pumpin'.

In any event, today was kind of the day from Hell, for the most part that is. Things blowing up left and right, nothing I was trying to accomplish seemed to go according to plan, horrible commute due to traffic/rain/fog/etc., you name it, it pretty much happened today. Guess it could have been worse though, I could have crapped my pants. Yeah, I wouldn't wish that on my enemies. The good news is that I am just about ready to call it a day. Other folks have gone all homeward bound here at the office, I think I've earned it just as much as them. Time to go have a beer, rework my music, jam out a bit, cook myself something fancy, and high five a Kool-Aid. This day may very well work out after all.

Toast OUT!

Wait. People run.....for enjoyment???

2009-03-31T09:53:00.003-04:00

Hey all. Toast here coming at you for the first time in a minute yo! Lately the Toast has begun another venture that is basically just another attempt to having him look good in pants. Detox Jam '09 has the Toast down 19 pounds, but there is still a bit more to go. So, for no other reason that it starting to be nice outside and you all know how I love the out-of-doors, the Toast is currently training to run a marathon.

Stupid as it sounds, this is something that really is not that out of the ordinary for the Toast. I mean, I've run before, I can do it again. I've done 5K's, 10K's, the Boilermaker in Syracuse which is just a fancy term for 15K that has beer for you at it's completion, but I've never quite upped the anty like this before.

Realistically, all that I have done is gone out and run 11 miles in the past two days but I have made the conscious decision to at least have competing a marathon as a goal, especially as a fella who has knee problems. Where this decision will take me, who knows really. All that I can do, other than making it a point to run my ass off, is to check in from time to time and see if it is still on the ol' Toast's agenda. To tell you the truth, I'm a sorta hoping that this one sticks. Kinda looking forward to saying that I, the Toast, completed a marathon.

Caide Mile Failte

2009-03-17T17:26:00.004-04:00

Pronounced kaid-mee-la-fawl-teh.

A hundred thousand welcomes!!!! For those who aren't any in the least, go ahead and embrace your inner Irish. For those who play the part, respect and enjoy your lineage. Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody.

"I guess it was the beatings...made me wise"

2009-03-12T21:59:00.004-04:00

To continue the feelings below, I present you with the Toast's No. 1 song of all time.

So....who's your name again???

2009-03-11T11:29:00.003-04:00

Ok, this is starting to get a little bit ridiculous. I sit here at the foot hills of this blog every so often and I am only now getting officially worried. Why you ask??? Well, I have nothing to write about. I can't get the ol' noggin' jump started into dishing out creativity, hilarity, or even random movie quotes. Why?? I still feel smart, I mean, you should see what I've been doing around the office lately. But, whenever I show up at this page here and try to get the Toastie juices flowin' all that I'm left with at the end of the day......a total blank.

Now, granted my effort hasn't been on par of late, but the point that I am trying to make is....what the hell happened?!?!? I just need to break out of this funk that I seem to find myself in. My special lady friend is working insane hours and has been for a little while now. Myself, well I seem to be working insane hours to boot. Weekends??? Yeah...they just seem to be days to be doing work in jammies at home, as opposed to going on hikes and enjoying the wilderness. Weekends??? Their highlights of late have consisted of a trip to Target to get shit and spending under $100 at the grocery store. Really??? Is this what I sought out?? This is what I went to college for and continue to this very day to pay a shitload of student loans for. So I can turn my existence into two week pay intervals, just so I can in turn dish that money back to various lending industries, service providers, and $10 a week on fucking apples habit?!?! Not in my house Jackson!!!

But I must stay the course. I must persevere. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right?? Well, then why am I complaining about this incredibly lost feeling that I am finding in myself?? Why then am I not strong enough to break free?? I'm not dead yet and I've been dealing with garbage for as long as I can remember so I've got to be fucking Terminator strong by now. I've been listening to music that preaches rebellion, standing up for what you are, and taking off for greener pastures when the future is bleak all of my life. Why am I still a corporate stooge instead of living the sweet life overseas somewhere?? Why am I not doing something that I love instead of wasting away in my office that no longer has windows (my team was moved during a restructuring/cutting of dead weight) but rather an exquisite view of the thermostat that starts each day at 72 degrees only to have other mindless drones who happen to be cold continuously turn it up until at the end of my day it reads 79. 79 fucking degrees??? What the hell people, just put a sweater on if you're that cold. No office should be 80 G.D. degrees. Anyway, what is going on here??? That answer should be simple enough. I CAN'T get away now.

On the agenda for the very near future is a weekend trip back home to Syracuse, NY for Pa Cregg's 57th birthday, one of which will hopefully clear up some things. Maybe that is what I need, just a few days away. Away from work, away from this feeling of "blargh". I've already planned on calling in sick with "March Madness" as to make this a good four days off as opposed to driving up on Friday night, only to spend another 6 plus hours in the car just one day later as I speed back to the District on Sunday. A couple days with friends that I haven't seen since Thanksgiving and in most cases even longer, sleeping in my old bed, joking around with my Dad, drinking Canadian Beer, watching days upon days of the tournament, eating reubens that don't cost $13...could this work??

"The End is Nigh"

2009-03-06T09:40:00.005-05:00

Who will watch "The Watchmen"?? I tell you what, I'm certainly gonna. I've been way too amped up for this movie for about 2 years now; increasingly so over the past three weeks as I've almost literally been counting down the days. Hot damn, this is gonna kick so much ass one might call it unparalleled. An unparalleled amount of ass kicking; ass kicking without parallel.

Basically nothing I can do or say will change how you the reader feel about "The Watchmen", the movie or the graphic novel. Just the other day Kool-Aid remarked about how long the movie has been advertised: "It seems like these previews have been out forever." This has been a project that has been in the works for quite some time and all that I can really add to it is that I've been somewhat patient in my waiting for it to arrive. Well...that day has come. My suggestion, and it should be fairly obvious to you, is to do what I do. Grab your favorite Kool-Aid and go see it. Have I ever led you, my internet reader, astray??

Told you I'd get around to it.

2009-02-26T23:25:00.004-05:00

My enjoyment from this band is growing leaps and bounds everyday.

Hope you brought your Tuna Sammies....

2009-02-25T14:39:00.007-05:00

...cause it's NO MEAT WEDNESDAY!!! Or Ash Wednesday; call it whatever you want. Lent has begun so if you're Catholic do what my main man Lebowski would do, ABIDE. He's always said it best anyway: "The Dude abides."

In any event, I am here not eating meat during my late lunch on Ash Wednesday. True, there are no ashes on my forehead but where the hell am I supposed to find a Catholic Church in Georgetown?? All I've been able to find here is a place that has expensive cupcakes. To tell you the truth, I wasn't all that impressed. Seriously....I've had better. Baked fresh every morning my left foot!!!

So, in closing, no meat, high priced cupcakes, and the Dude, or his Dudeness, or El Duderino if you're not in that whole brevity thing. Man...me thinks I'm a-gonna have to watch some Big Lebowski after the gym tonight. I like where my head's at.

**Sidenote** Due to new internet restrictions at the workplace, my telling you about (with examples) the tunes I'm rocking of late will have to wait till later. I can't believe that its taken me this long to get the NEW "Kings of Leon". I mean...seriously.

Finding ways to make awesomeness happen.

2009-02-23T14:00:00.006-05:00

Ahoy hoy kids. Man, to try to tell you what my last two weeks have been like would be an expletive laden word jumble resulting in my falling asleep about halfway through. You see Internet audience, the Toast here has had the extreme pleasure of doing the work of 5 and there doesn't seem to be much end in sight. Eh...what are you going to do when you are one that has survived a few sets of layoffs???

However, because of this there have been a few casualties in the Toast's standard day to day. One of which has been frequently updating the daily hilarity on this very blog. That's not good for business, tell you the truth, that's not good for anyone. But what am I supposed to do, blog more often from home????? I didn't have the time to do that before this most recent set of cutbacks, let alone now. By the time I get home from the gym (another "from time to time" casualty of late) I'm so brain dead and drained that I haven't had the cranial capacity to give you the creativity you crave. How's that for alliteration??

No, in all seriousness, I just haven't had a moment to sit and think. Now that doesn't mean that I've forgotten about me public. Oh how you love me. So I am here just to let you know that this train ain't leavin' the station...if you get my drift?? I'll be here, I just have to make an effort, and while this blog began, way back when, as a fun media outlet for the mad-cap world of the Toast; it will continue reign supreme in these tough times. Toastedblog shall be a beacon whose light will shine as bright as the sun. You kids are going to be talking about this shit for some time, I tell you what.

HEEEY!!!

"You always sing along in my imagination."

2009-02-16T17:13:00.004-05:00

Ryan Montbleau Band are playing up in Baltimore, MD, and here in Arlington, VA in a few. Good stuff me thinks; saw them a time or two with K-Beezie, Joey T., amongst others back in Syracuse. His shows were great as they usually attracted some nice looking femininas. They sure do dig the singer-songwriter type. Oddly enough...so do I.

Anywho, Saturday, Feb. 28th at some bar in Baltimore. Sunday March 1st at some bar in Arlington, VA. Think I can hit up at least one show.

Guess Who's Planning a Trip Back Home??

2009-02-13T10:39:00.004-05:00

Due to recent events Kool-Aid and I are planning a spring trip to Ireland. Can you say, "Fuck and Yes"?!?! I think I can.

Puttin' Asses in the Seats!!!

2009-02-05T16:43:00.006-05:00

After a week of workin' hard, playin' hard, hectic work environments, dang it's galore, Quicken (thanks for that Willie Moe, whenever I think of Quicken I think of George Michael's birthday), conducting work related webinars with such topics as system upgrades, too much coffee, and other oddities, I'd like for nothing more than to go home, "relax", hit the couch in jammy jams, listen to some tunes until The Office and 30 Rock are on (that is unless Comcast decides to showcase the Bruins game against Ottawa), and enjoy cookin' me up a Toast speciality, Chicken Parm. I've got mozz cheese, bread crumbs, and everything. HOT DAMN!!!

Say....Who's got two thumbs, is a little stressed out, misses his Kool-Aid, and looking to hit the bricks for the day??? THIS GUY!!! /does the waaay played out double thumb point to himself. Loser.

Day Full O' Dang It's

2009-02-03T08:27:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, the Monday following the Super Bowl, was dang it filled. Audience, this is not a good thing. Had it been reverse dang it filled, then we have something completely different on our hands. But day was not loaded to the gills with cheese steaks, nor did it feature the Toast finding some much desired free loot. Hell, I didn't even get groped in the elevator at work. Instead, I was fortunate enough to bear through the following. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, my day full o' dang its.

Dang It 1: Monday's dang its start early, alarm doesn't go off and I wake up at about 8am. Did I mention that I have a heap of shit to attend to at work, including an online Quickbooks training that starts bright and early?? I didn't??? Well, I had a heap of shit to attend to at work, including an online Quickbooks training that starts bright and early.

Dang It 2: Following the norm, which is a shave free weekend, I am in need of a clean shave only to discover that I am out of shave gel. I am forced to let loose a bar of soap to tackle my three days worth of stubble. This is not comfortable in the least and I now sport the severe razor burn to prove it.

Dang It 3: At this point in the morning I continue my Toastie Detox Jam '09 and take these cleansing pills that aid in the "process" if you get my drift. My recent work travels had me out of sorts for a few days. The return to Detox Jam '09 by consuming these cleansing pills open the flood gates as they say. I proceed to shit my brains out for a good ten minutes. By the way, I still haven't left for work yet and its about 9am.

Dang It 4: Looks like I'm not the only one late this morning as traffic is wicked. Not a good wicked ("Oh man, these potato skins are wicked!!!") More like witch of the west type wicked. This is not good for all involved, namely me.

Dang It 5: I need to get gas so I stop. I proceed to fill my tank but disregard pumping stoppage when I fail to hear the gas tank close off valve do it's work. Gas starts flooding the ground at my feet and just rushing out of the Passat with no name. I now smell like a varying grade of super unleaded as gas has gotten all over my hands and pant leg. Oh, that'll be good for business.

Dang It 6: Remember when I mentioned that I had a online training to attend? Well, this one sort of worked out as I read the time wrong and the class actually begins at 9:30 central, making it 10:30 am Toast Time. Although, you didn't think I could get away with it that easily did you?? Well, I didn't. The company that provides the training fails to send me the link to access the class and the phone number to dial in for the teleconference. 30 minutes later, all spent with customer service, I gain the required information and join up with class already in progress.

Dang It 7: I am now forced to sit through 8 plus hours of Quickbooks information. Sigh.....

Dang It 8: Stupid Toastie Detox Jam '09. I have to eat a salad for lunch and since I'm eating lunch at like 3pm because of this class, there is nothing left at the salad bar to choose from so I eat lettuce with carrots, peppers and onions. This isn't buffalo chicken nachos at all.

Dang It 9: Even though I have signed up for this training class, this does not give the Toast a get out of work free card. It is 6:45 at night and now I start what work I need to complete for tomorrow.

Dang It 10: I find out over the phone that a good friend is going through a rough patch with his special lady. The ever dreaded uber dang it!! I won't make any jokes about this; this kind of stuff sucks. I do my best to just offer to be there for a chat should it be needed. That being said, I want to find a weekend that I can head out his way for a visit. He lives in Boston, and I'm always up for a trip to Beantown. We'll just have to see whats in the the cards through the next few weeks as Boston isn't exactly around the corner. If I can swing a day off or two from work, I'll definitely do it.

Dang It 11: This is me being somewhat selfish. Kool-Aid is going through a rough patch at work, being that she works in HR and her company is currently executing a few "changes" at the office place. So, she's been working 'round the clock and been stressed out to the max. Why am I mentioning this?? Well, after a long day I'd like to be able to hang out with Kool-Aid and just forget about what ails us. Kool-Aid doesn't get home well after I, like 9:30 at night type of stuff. This is after she has been going into work all weekend and working super long hours for a few weeks now. And when we do hang around together, she's too burnt out or stressed out to really be there. It's frustrating, and difficult, and an all around dang it as I basically spent this last weekend, in it's entirety, alone. I know I shouldn't complain, and it's not her choosing. But what is this blog if it's not a place to just write shit out, vent, what-have-you. I remain, sitting idly by and taking it all with a grain of salt.

Well, there you have it. By the time I got home all that I was able to do for myself was to eat a couple of leftover peanut m&m's from the Super Bowl for dinner and watch a few episodes of 30 Rock to get me to forget about the crap day that I had. Oh, these dang it's don't stop here either. I forgot my lunch at home this morning. Faaaantastic. Eh...here's to keep on keepin' on I guess. It can't be all bad right??

Relapse

2009-01-29T22:20:00.006-05:00

I am currently in Panama City Beach, Florida for work and I have just committed my first relapse in regards to Toastie's Detox Jam '09. A long afternoon of traveling, plane flights, and layovers in Hot-Lanta pushed me in entirely the wrong direction. At least it was two for one drink night. If I'm going to hit up a couple beers, might as well get some free ones to go along with it.

After all was said and done though, I feel like I let myself down. Sure, I can use the excuse that I am on the road and eating to my fullest potential is easier said than done. But the fact that I know that I just put down a chicken fajita pita, a heap o' beers, and a side of fries in under an hour is not sitting so pretty with the Toast. I mean, I wasn't necessarily struggling to keep this detox thing going, but in just a few minutes it seems as though all of the good work I've done of late was simply erased. Eh, whatever, this is what happens when you don't have a Kool-Aid to talk to during your evenings and you find that there is nothing on the 27 channels your Hilton Garden Inn room gets. No one told me that The Office and 30 Rock weren't on tonight. That's bull honky if I've ever seen it!!!

On that note, a clip of a song that I can't get out of my head of late. Sweet Jebus Wilco is fucking awesome.

Wilco - "Side With The Seeds"

While I'm at it, let's just keep going shall we??

Wilco - "Impossible Germany"

Obey Your Mother!

2009-01-27T11:47:00.006-05:00

Hey all!!! Sorry, haven't been around so much of late. Been wicked ass busy with work and Toastie's Detox Jam '09 has me running around being active and lifting heavy stuff during my evenings. It's not all bad though, I've lost 11 lbs and I've shattered my personal record of the number of times I can go No. 2 in one day at work. So I say once again, FUCK YOU TOXINS!!

But this post isn't about that. In this shameless bit of friend promotion, go check out the following website.

www.recyclemoe.com

Recyclemoe.com is a side business of my friend Moe, who currently resides in Burlington, VT with live-in man friend, and one of my better friends from college, Big Marky Badass. Moe is out there trying to make the world a better place using only her knack for all things awesome. I mean, look at those monster hats....you tellin' me you wouldn't want one of those. I tell you what, the Toast here is looking forward to one of those cassette tape wallets. I hope mine's a Bob Seger tape, HOT DAMN!!!

Toastie's Detox Jam '09!!

2009-01-22T15:23:00.006-05:00

Well, I'm not too far removed from vacation. Maybe if you play your cards right, you my very internet audience will get blessed with sweet sweet pics of the Toast and his special lady friend skiing in -30 degree temps. Oooh....fingers crossed, am I right.

But this post is not about skiing, nor is it about special lady friends. Vermont, seeing old college friends, mah back, and frigid North East temperatures, those topics are for the birds...or for later toastedblog posts. No, this post is not about any of that who-haw. Today we get to talk about something I know that you all are dying to hear about. DYING to hear about I say!!

TOASTIE's DETOX JAM '09!!! (must be read in monster truck jam stereotypical announcer voice to achieve comedic effect)

That's right boys and girls, the Toast here is cleaning house. To that, I say: "FUCK YOU TOXINS!!" Yeah. It's all Organic, All-Natural, Feel-Goodery for the next few weeks my loyal readers. A diet full o' detox. No sugar, no canned goods, no butter, no steak, no chipwiches, no preservatives, no sammiches, no grease, no delicious Arby's Roast Beef, no delicious Arby's Roast Beef smothered in Arby's and Horsey Sauce, no cheese, no BAR-be-que sauce, no booze!!!

Concerned Reader No. 413: "WHAT??!?!?! NO BOOZE!!! But Toastmaster General, You be Irish and shit!!!"

Well, I'll tell you this Concerned Reader No. 413, unfortunately dem's the breaks. After the next few weeks, the Toast here is going to be a hilarious, lean, machine of pure awesome that'll fit into his pants like no other. No, and mark my words on this next comment, this is no diet!!! This here is what we call a lifestyle change. A few weeks of not hitting the gym, combined with holiday and vacation eating, drinking like a champ, and logging a high number of couch hours has got me in the mood for a fresh slate. What better way to do that than to eat nothing but brown rice, veggies, fresh fruit, delicious free range bird, water, nuts and eggs.

Not only that, but I am going to start taking Yoga classes. What???!?! For real B??!?! Yeah, you read that right. I think all that stretching with the ladies in a room that's 90 degrees is going to work wonders for mah back. My only question, do I get to wear those yoga pants that make my butt look all tight and awesome like the ladies do at the gym; cause you know what, the Toast don't need that stuff. I gots me some sweatpants that fall down when I run. Those'll work fine.

I tell you what, all is so far so good here with the General, in regards to those pesky sugar withdrawals. Just don't pay attention when you see me running out of my local grocer's freezer, leaving a trail of discarded Ben & Jerry's containers in my wake. Oh sweet Vermonty Python, what shall thou do without thoust. Or something like that. It's good to be back, HEEEEEYYYY!!!!

Yeah, what that guy said!!

2009-01-13T09:57:00.006-05:00

This little quote was taken from an ESPN.com article that I was reading this morning about 40 current baseball players that could also become potential MLB Hall of Famers. Oddly enough, while I whole heartedly disagree with the use of performance enhancing drugs in sport and these individuals that have been caught in the act are getting what they ultimately deserve for cheating the sport and it's fans; I am sorta pickin' up what this Schoenfield guy is puttin' down with his whole take on steroids and those ever-so-dear records in Major League Baseball.

25. Gary Sheffield
Not that anybody asked, but here's my opinion on the whole steroids issue: Who gave the baseball writers the right to be moral arbiters of the Hall of Fame? Are we supposed to pretend Mark McGwire's accomplishments didn't happen? You can't go back and rewrite history; McGwire competed in real games that counted in real standings, and he helped his team win a lot of those games. You can't erase that from the record books. It happened. You might disagree with how he achieved it, but it happened. It's not an issue of morality, and the BBWAA's anti-McGwire stance -- assuming his guilt -- isn't any different a witch hunt.

As for Sheffield, he probably doesn't have a snowball's chance of being elected under the current voting climate. He was linked to Barry Bonds and Victor Conte's cream; he wasn't the easiest guy to like. But he was a devastating hitter and helped his team win a lot of games. And isn't that the point?

A sidenote if I may; I do really hate Gary Sheffield. However, he was/still can be a devastating hitter, has helped his team win a lot of games, and still does scare the shit out of me when I see him in the batter's box. But yeah....I don't see him heading to the Hall at all. Not one bit.

Radiohead "All I Need"

2009-01-12T11:48:00.006-05:00

I've had this song in my head for a little while now. Even though this video has been around for months and it really doesn't fit the tune and all, I've decided to throw it down on this here blog for no other reason other than y'all should listen. And if you've heard it before, just hear it again.

When you're done with that, check out the Scotch Mist Version. Mmmm...scotch.

"Hatin' life right now, aren't ya??"

2009-01-12T10:48:00.004-05:00

Today's Toastedblog title was just said to me as I was walking to go get a cup of coffee following a good two hour meeting. You see, the Toast here has a back that currently has him in a considerable amount of pain. Simply put, walking is kinda a chore right now. Well, fellow co-workers see a usually upbeat and ever-so-mobile Toast staggering around the office like a 90 year old man, they're going to say something.

And my friend Dashiel was right, I am hatin' life right now. Not only the whole back thing, but the Giants looking like a heap of garbage yesterday afternoon in their loss to Philadelphia. Oh well, at least I have more time to focus on the severe pain that is limiting any and all motions. Sigh....good news is that I get to go skiing in two days. How the hell am I going to be able to do that??

It's go time!!

2009-01-11T11:55:00.003-05:00

One hour till kick-off. That means it's almost afternoon. Almost afternoon = it's time to start drinkin'. Let's go Giants. Let's see something today!!

Toastmaster General, that there's a dilly of a pickle

2009-01-07T09:57:00.014-05:00

As far dilemnas go, this present situation that yours truly is in happens to be a real humdinger. Tomorrow night, Camper Van Beethoven is playing at the State Theatre in nearby Falls Church, VA. For a spot of Camper Van, see below.

Awesome right?? Maybe not the made for you tube video so much but the song, ooooh...weeeeee. Well, clearly not as awesome is the fact that the cost for two tickets, complete with the "convenient" $5.75 surcharge for each, is fifty bucks. GOD-DAMN!!! Do I want to swing that for just a random show on a Thursday Night, especially with money being tight; what with all of this moving going on and a vacation up to Stowe, VT for five days of skiing in a little over a week. I just don't know if it's in the cards. I mean, 50 bones for the show, not to mention the overhead spending that concert going brings (your couple beers, going out for a post-work, pre-show bite to eat, any and all extracurricular drinking). When all is said and done, we're probably looking at a $100. here, if not more. A hundred dollars that can just as easily buy a Kool-Aid and the Toast a damn fine dinner after a day of hitting the slopes in Vermont. But...It's Camper Van!!! Aargh!!! A decision like this is harder than College.

Just for the hell of it, and because I can, peep this old video of Camper Van, straight up 80's style. '89 if you want to be a dick about it.

You sure as heckfire better believe that David Lowery looks pretty gosh darn different. All young and less grizzled, and no wicker cowboy hat to boot?? What's the deal?!?!

There it is, much better. We'll let you know how it all turns out once I finally stop being indecisive and make some sort of decision. Do I want to kick ass, eat a burger, have a few beers, and see Camper Van Beethoven?? Or do I want to be responsible, save a few bucks for vacation where it will ultimately be spent on Kool-Aid, and officially act like a grown up?? Hmmm......I'm going to need more time, or...some advice.

Fort Awesome, Now 100% More Fortified, 200% More Awesome

2009-01-05T08:42:00.006-05:00

Happy 2009 (officially) internet peoples. So, now that's out of the way I have a chipwich that says I know what you all are thinking. Why is it, that after repeated promises of more Toastedblog, that we have to wait until the 5th of January for an update on the world of the Toast?? Well, since you asked so politely, and are obviously showing some significant concern for something that you all hold so dear to your hearts, I shall tell you. I've moved bitches!!!

You heard that right folks, my apartment, aptly dubbed "Fort Awesome", has been traded in for something at least ten times more awesome than it's predecessor. The Toast here is on a gravy train with biscuit wheels. I mean, I have stairs people.....STAIRS!!! Kool-Aid and I, in an ever pressing quest to make life habitable for a new addition have decided to move on up and thus, have waved bye-bye to the days of single bedroom apartment living. You're reading the creative genius of a man that single handedly doubled his fort's awesomeness. Oh..please, please; hold all applause.

New "Fort Awesome" is a town home, duplex, whatever you want to call it located in Arlington, VA. New "Fort Awesome" is three floors of sheer manliness with only about 85% of a beautiful woman's touch; I get to use the finished basement for my many many mantastic activities, Kool-Aid gets the rest. New "Fort Awesome" has a backyard for stuff that dudes like, like horseshoes...or patio furniture for entertaining outdoor guests. New "Fort Awesome" has a laundry room for cleaning my rugby shit...or drying racks for wool sweaters and other delicates. New "Fort Awesome" is located near a sandwich shop built for men...called "The Broiler". New "Fort Awesome" also has room for gardening and landscaping with only the prettiest of roses, lilies, orchids, poinsettias, etc.

Most importantly however, New "Fort Awesome" took like a morning to move into. For the few days surrounding the New Year, Kool-Aid and I took over carloads of boxes as to make the actual moving day as easy as possible; so, a U-Haul truck loaded with our furniture and other big stuff was all that we'd have to move on our official moving day, which was this past Saturday. I should rephrase some of that, most importantly was the fact that we had a few friends helping us out so that my back is still intact, as opposed to fucking killing me. With the weekend spent unpacking and waiting for the cable guy to come set up our internet late Sunday afternoon my mind is kind of lost today. I even had to ask the cable guy who won the playoff games on Saturday as I had absolutely no clue because all I did on that day was unload heavy shit, open up boxes, and get drunk come night time. YES!! (/does fist pump)

All said and done however, I am just a little off today. Getting ready for the office this morning took some actual thought as opposed to just going through the motions, I had to take a new morning route, I couldn't find my aftershave (fingers crossed, no dry chin skin), and I have this feeling as though I left something important at home. Guess it'll take some time to get used to. Oh well, we'll toss you some updates soon, even some photos of my Christmas in Florida, my Sister's Wedding, and the haps on this whole New "Fort Awesome". Just you try to contain your excitement you kooky bastards!!! Oh, and that new addition that was mentioned above, it's not what you think it is. We're getting a dog. Toast OUT!!

Toastie's list of kick-ass things from 2008

2008-12-30T14:27:00.012-05:00

Nothing real original about all of this you see below. Just a quick cumulative list of the kick-ass that's happened this past year. Enjoy!!

- Saw Eddie Vedder at the Warner Theatre here in DC.
- My nephew Callan was born on April 20, 2008
- Work promotions and pay increases, who knew?!?!?!
- The Giants winning what was probably the best Super Bowl of my lifetime (so far)

- Going whitewater rafting in West Virginia in October
- Seeing Pearl Jam again with the Chuck
- High fives
- Heading down to Florida for my buddy Matt's wedding
- Johnny Lester not only says eat shit to cancer but also no hits the Royals
- Spending a weekend in Virginia Beach with Kool-Aid
- Getting to know "the inlaws" a bit more only to discover that they really like me
- Singing "Rock and Roll Part II" aboard Philly's subway system (yeah, I wasn't aware they had one either)
- Same weekend, "Too Legit 2 Quit" on Jitter's roof deck
- Radiohead outdoors in the rain here in VA.
- The Bruins return to NHL prominance
- Toastedblog's rise from the ashes like the magnificient Phoenix, or some other town in Arizona
- I've decided to grow my hair long and you know what, it's none too shabby
- Spending this past Christmas with my entire family, first time we've been all together for some time
- Becoming friends with D.C. and with all its faults, I am really happy here
- My sister getting married
- Chipwiches
- Mutha-fuckin' Giants!!
- Work people beginning to learn about how awesome I can be, rather than just a dude in an office
- Taking Kool-Aid to a boat-load of games (Giants v. Cowboys, a number of Nats games, Manny's 500th HR in Baltimore)
- Going with Kool-Aid to a few moe. shows
- Tina Fey

- And of course, another year with the Kool-Aid. Can't beat that deal with a stick!
- Barack Obama
- The Dark Knight
- Frequently making your own pizza
- Cheap gas!!
- the baconator

Happy New Year people, we'll catch you in '09!! Be safe and if you see me around midnight, don't be hesitant with that whole kiss thing.

"Hell yeah I remember Aurora"

2008-12-29T11:32:00.006-05:00

All throughout the 12 hour drive yesterday from Jacksonville, FL to the District this song was in my head, even as I listened to quite a few other tunes. It should also be mentioned that this is so not a bad thing. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you "Aurora" by the Foo's.

You gotta love that Dave Grohl, he can sing so pretty yet sounds can turn on the badass should the opportunity present itself. Don't believe me, go dig up "Monkey Wrench" on Youtube after "Aurora" has run its course. Niiice.

Initially this post was to be something of substance, but following my aforementioned 12 hour trek yesterday, my brain is a bit fried. The Foo Fighters will have to do for now. Any issues, take them up with management. Hope you all found a way to enjoy the Holiday. More zany Toast adventures to come.

"It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture."

2008-12-23T10:20:00.007-05:00

Good Morning Kids. Well..the Toast has the Passat all packed with Rocky in tow (my stuffed Raccoon/first material possession who often accompanies me on road trips) and is heading South for a few days to spend Christmas at my sister's in Jacksonville, FL. It's going to be a bit weird spending the Holidays in 80 degree weather and on a beach but I think I'll get by. What might be even weirder is the outcome of us Cregg's getting together as the next few days marks the first time in about 5 years or so that my entire "nuclear" family will be together, in the same room. My mother flew down from Chigago, my father is flying down from back home in Syracuse today, my brother has been living down in Jacksonville for the past few months and my sister, well she's lived there for quite a bit now. Given my parents' affinity to not get along, and the past that I've had with my mother, this could be interesting, however, I think we'll get into the spirit of Holiday without the aid of too much alcohol. I know we're Irish, but the fact that Callan, my 8 month old nephew, is experiencing his first Christmas well that should hopefully be enough to get us Cregg's in the mood to be around each other with little to no issues.

All that thrown out at you, I am looking forward to this a bit. I mean, the first time in 5 years, that's a little ridiculous if you ask me. Plus I am eagerly awaiting spending time with my rather large little brother, its been too long since we've gotten together as well. So there it is, 5 days in sunny Florida with the family over Christmas. Good times, good times. If I don't get back at ya, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and the Toast here will catch ya soon. I'm out!!!

"Derrick Ward gets happy go-jacky on the Panthers Defense like a donkey eatin' a waffle."

2008-12-22T10:11:00.010-05:00

Sweet sassy molassy; get out the checkbook and pay grandma for the rubdown. For the second consecutive week, I was forced to stay up late on a Sunday night to watch the Giants. This time, my team didn't look like a collective ball of ineptitude. I should rephrase that, for one half and an overtime period they didn't look like a collective ball of ineptitude.

Last night, the Giants decided to stick with their game plan which was the following: "we're going to run the ball down your throat; come try and stop us". Even when down 21 to 10 and the game looked like it was starting to get away from them as the Panthers had scored touchdowns on their first three possessions, the Giants stayed in character as a running team and with that plan set in motion they ran to the tune of over 300 yards as a team ultimately beating the Panthers in overtime, 34-28.

Now, while I realize that the outcome of this game could have been a whole hell of a lot different had John Kasay nailed his attemted 50 yard field goal with 9 seconds remaining but it certainly is nice to see the Giants regain a bit of their swagger. The difference maker for this team simply put, is Brandon Jacobs. When you have the power to pound a defense and run through a stacked 8 man defensive front, it just opens everything else up. True, the team does miss Plaxico and his ability to draw coverage, but Jacobs is all energy, power, and anger rising, and this is something that the team needs and gets with him in the lineup.

While Jacobs was the back that brought the much needed energy to the entire Giants Offense (i.e. Shockey's role but without the bitching and all the dropped balls), the man who really benefited from Jacobs being back in the lineup was Derrick Ward. The past few weeks with Jacobs on the sidelines, Ward was the featured back and without Jacobs's punishing runs wearing down the Defense, Ward almost looked a step slower. Last night was the exact opposite. Jacobs ran for 80 something tough yards and three touchdowns and Ward was able to hit every hole the Offensive Line created hard and was in the secondary before the Panthers Front 7/8 often knew what was going on out there. Hell, he had runs of 34, 22, 37, 51, 14, and 17 yards last night, the majority of which were in the Second Half when he tends to do most of his damage as a change of pace back.

I'm just glad that the Giants remembered how they are capable of playing and despite all the team has endured the last few weeks, they were able to step up and play when it mattered. They may not be in the same place as they were earlier in the season, and as mentioned this win did come down to a missed field goal in the closing seconds, but this team set out to do something last night (run the ball) and I guess 300+ yards, well that means they succeeded. You know what I always say: "In my book, you gotta get to White Castle before the weirdos show up."

"This new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch."

2008-12-18T13:16:00.005-05:00

The various teams here at the office have specifically gone out of their way to decorate their respective areas in the spirit of Christmas. In another spirit, competition, some sort of prize, or treat, is being promised to the team with the best/most original decoration. In his continuing effort to buck the norm, the Toast has done his own part.

"FESTIVUS IS BACK!! I'll go get the pole from the crawl space."

That's right internet audience. The Toast here has the pole up and ready. The beauty here is all in it's subtlety. While most folks at the work place have Christmas cutouts all over the walls, file cabinets wrapped up like giant gifts, and that distracting tinsel all to and fro, I sit with an aluminum pole set up outside my office, a sign on the wall that says "Festivus Yes! Bagels No!", and a clip board to list "the airing of grievances". If I don't win something here, I'm calling shenanigans.

Happy Festivus Everyone!! We still have a few days till the actual Holiday is upon us but if its not worth starting to celebrate now, I don't want to be a part of it.

Finally following through on a few things people have been telling me to do for years.

2008-12-12T11:55:00.011-05:00

Not gonna lie to you internet audience, the Toast here flies by the seat of his pants. He walks to the beat of his own drum. More importantly, the Toast is an ever evolving mantastic mass of awesomeness that seems to know no bounds.

Now, while all of this is quite fantastically awesome in it's own right, the Toast is certainly not without his share of flaws. I mean, I. I am certainly not without my share of flaws. One of my more potent flaws just happens to be, I can take forever when it comes to gettin' around to shit. This is just something I have struggled with my whole life. I'm not really talking about imperative shit mind you, its more things that are suggested to this fella to check out. Sometimes, I'm all over it like my buddy Willie Moe and bitterness. Other times, I just file these suggestions under "eh..I'll get to them later" and rarely do they ever come to light. It's quite sad really, as my friends are taking their time to share things with me that they value, and I just shrug them off like I do with other suggestions such as obeying local traffic laws, proper golf ettiquette, and clothing requirements while in public. Let's just see you try to not serve me just 'cause I'm only in underpants; I want an ham, egg, and cheese on a pumpernickel bagel dammit. This no pants thing is just trivial horse hockey. For the birds I tells you, for the G.D. birds.

So, get on with it you say. Stop the stalling?? Eh, I suppose you're right. Well, picking up where I left off, I've been trying to get to a few of these suggestions that people have thrown my way and I'm not gonna lie to you, most of them revolve around various forms of entertainment to check out. Where this post goes from here is telling you folks at home some of the nonsense that I am getting myself into of late and why it kicks so much ass. You know what, I need to start listening to my friends more often. Who knew they liked so much cool shit?!?!

Uncle Tupelo

Originally, I think I was told to check out Uncle Tupelo on the way back from a baseball road trip by good pal Dunford as we had Wilco's "A Ghost is Born" playing as we trekked back towards Central NY. You know what, this was like almost 5 years ago. Since then, numerous friends, many from the same social circle (Danny, Javen, Billy Ball, I'm looking at you here) have suggested to me the very same thing. "Oh Toastie, you need to listen to Uncle Tupelo, they the shit. Jeff Tweedy used to be in them before Wilco." My response was always the same" "Aw..sweet, I really should look into that." Instead, do you know what I did, ignore it and fucking deal with the same shit that I've been listening to for-fucking-ever. What an asshole I am. Or was. Whatever.

Now, what really blows my mind is the fact that I've been a Wilco fan for quite some time, quite some time before Tupelo was lobbed my way like a slow pitch softball, one that I should have crushed out of the park and been jamming to ever since. Instead, I ignored this advice for years, never getting around to picking up an album. What's even worse is that I didn't give my friend's a fair shake and chose to listen to others to find new music. Hell, I downloaded a shitload of The Mars Volta because some random told me they jammed like crazy years before I finally went out and got "Anodyne", which was just a few weeks ago. You ever listen to The Mars Volta?? Eh, it's interesting, but kickass it unfortunately is not. You know what is kickass by the way?? I think you folks can tell where this is going. Mmmm..drink it in, that Alt-Country always goes down smooth.

Watchmen

By now, a lot of you have probably seen the following preview.

Some of you are probably saying: "Jebus, another comic book movie?? I'm not sure if I can take a chance on another one, especially after those Fantastic Four movies sucked balls."

You best pump your breaks!! Currently, I am reading the graphic novel that inspired what is probably going to be the most awesome movie that I've ever seen. Yup, the book is that good. So, the point I am trying to make is, why the hell did I take so long to read this summbitch??? For years, friends have tried to appeal to the uber-dork in me. You know, the one that read comic books. My trying to figure out what this movie was all about was what recently caused me to finally go out and pick it up. This was definitely not a mistake, not in the least. If you need my endorsement to check out Watchmen, well then you've officially gotten the green light. It really is that awesome!! Blew me away I can tell yous.

Quick Sidenote: You gotta love "Take A Bow" by Muse in that trailer. Man, Muse is the tops!! Get hit with the whole tune below. BOO-YAH!!!

Sugar Snap Peas

I don't like peas. Never have, probably never will. This stems from my childhood days on a night when my Aunt Mary was babysitting my sister, brother, and I. I don't know, had to be about 4. During dinner, I was told to finish my peas. I objected claiming that I would throw up if I did. I was then forced to finish said peas. I then threw up. Since, I have never eaten a pea. Any dish that I was served from that moment on that had peas in it, I would take upwards of a half hour picking out every single cold and mushy pea. Do you have any idea of the patience necessary to pick peas out of Tuna Noodle Casserole?? I might as well have been a priest.

Anywho, just recently I have started buying up these Green Giant frozen, boil in the bag, steam in the bag, what-have-you vegetables as I'm looking to clean house following an extended period of not working out so hard/playing rugby due to an injured back. These little things are delicious. At about one Toastie sized serving per small package, they are great for a quick meal when getting back from the gym, heating up for work lunches, or just to add a quick shot of some good for you shit to any meal. One particular type of these little beauties has potato wedges, red peppers, and a whole mess of sugar snap peas. I was first a little wayward when I decided to pick it up from my local grocer's freezer. But, I remembered, I used to not like a lot of things, why not give this a shot??

These little sons of bitches are delicious. They're sweet and crisp; and they have this good sauce on them sometimes. You can even just put some pepper on them and go to town...in a healthy way. Folks, that ain't bad!!

So there you have it, and that's just a taste of what this kid has been finally following through on. Sorry that its been a while since a real post kids. Things are busy on this end. But don't worry, Uncle Toastie hasn't forgotten about you. Take 'er easy folks, I'm out for now!!

Dangited!

2008-12-09T09:25:00.005-05:00

Now I don't watch Saturday Night Live, nor have I ever seen "Hot Rod" or "Space Chimps" (not that I ever will) but this Samberg guy pops up every now and then and what I'm left with is something that's actually pretty damn funny. Makes me wonder what's going on the rest of the time.

So let me hit you with some knowledge.

2008-12-08T11:49:00.007-05:00

Just let me rant here; vent if you will. The past few days of coming into work have been a little bit awkward and frankly, just plain depressing. Like many companies, mine is finding that the current state of the economy is causing the whole being successful and making money thing to be just a tad bit difficult. To deal with this, my company has decreased goals a bit and, more importantly, attempted to cut overhead. What is the easiest way to do that internet audience?? You guessed it, to cut jobs, which is what happened here at my office last Wednesday.

So, not gonna lie to you, things since are on edge here at the workplace, even though the rest of us have been told that we're safe. But the fact remains, once a few jobs and a bit of overhead has been chopped, what happens in six months when the economy continues to struggle?? My team had our weekly meeting this morning and it was as negative an atmosphere that I've been a part of in quite a while. I tried to do my best to bring some bright spots and energy in but that was quickly squashed by the negative attitudes that joined me in the room.

It's just such a difficult scenario to work in and I guess all that I am trying to do is go out and make it known, even if it is just me spitting out some of the random on this here blog. After my two hour morning meeting of shit, I just wanted to put on my coat, put my laptop in my bag, and hit the bricks. To be honest, I still want to do that as the expressions of every one's face around me clearly demonstrates where their mind is at. Maybe tomorrow will be different, but the empty offices around me suggest that it may very well take a little while for things to get normal-esque again. Oh well, at least "The Dark Knight" comes out tomorrow. That shit was the shit!!

Jebus, what's going on here exactly?!?!

2008-12-05T09:29:00.004-05:00

It's fucking Friday already?!?! When did this happen?!?! The week is over?!?! Well nobody told me!! How am I supposed to keep things straight when I have no idea what day it is?!?! What was that you said?? It's not even November any more?!?! I gotta pump the breaks here, at least take a knee for a quick breather.

"The Boy's Bad News"

2008-12-04T08:56:00.004-05:00

This mid-week Eagles of Death Metal tribute has got to stop...or does it?? My reaction when I first saw this video a couple years back was priceless, especially when Hughes starts solo-ing for the first time with the girl in the motel room. Damn that sexy!!

I Want You So Hard (Boy's Bad News)

"Now Step Aside; Check it!! TIGHT PANTS!!"

2008-12-03T14:03:00.003-05:00

"Woooooo!!" Gotta love the Eagles of Death Metal I tells ya. "Boots Electric" and "Baby Duck"!! "The Devil" and "Carlo Von Sexron"!! Whatever alias you want to call them Jesse Hughes and Queens of the Stone Age's own Josh Homme have booty shaking, psychedelic, glam rock down pat. While back home over the holiday weekend I met up and had a few beers with "Karate" Jim, a fellow EODM fan, and their latest album "Heart On". I had yet to pick it up and pretty much freaked on me. Needless to say I got my hands on it the other day and have been gettin' down with the getdown ever since. As Hughes puts it, "Heart On" is:

"EODM's latest fabulous weapon, a top-secret music missile, a sonic warhead sexually tipped for her pleasure, shot from the deck of USS EODM Mantastic Fantastic."

Well, it sure is hard to come up with an arguement to tackle all that. "Karate" Jim was right to freak on me as this album is vintage dude rock wrapped up with a little bit of sexy. Oddly enough, I actually had the opportunity to see EODM recently as they were in the District about a month ago. The reason why I say "opportunity" back there rather than refer to "that kickass time I saw the Eagles of Death Metal"?? It was a Wednesday night show. Great Caesar's Ghost I'm sad. That night, I was probably in my jammies by ten instead of groovin' and shakin' to some sweet booty rock.

Now, unfortunately I had some difficulty in obtaining a real video of some of their tunes off this new album so you can see EODM in all their tight pants wearing glory. That being said, some genius found a way around this and put something up on youtube, of which you will see some examples below. Both are pretty choice and so far are my tops for the album!! Now come get a taste of some of this hot stuff comin' through. Ooh!!

"Anything 'Cept the Truth"

"(I Used To Couldn't Dance) Tight Pants"

Your Typical Drunken Irish Thanksgiving, WHOOP WHOOP!!

2008-11-26T10:36:00.002-05:00

Well, the still to be named Passat is all packed up and the Toast is scheduled to get the hell out of Dodge with a certain Kool-Aid for a few days. The destination?? Why, back home to Syracuse of course for Thanksgiving with Pa Cregg and a little bit of goings on with the boys back home for a few days. Anticipated time of arrival in Central New York in the 6pm-7pm range, or Beer-Thirty if you want to get technical about it. So far my plan is to drive a shitload of miles at high speeds so I can meet up with a few buddies for some highly anticipated Labatts, a Blarney Burger, and the Bruins v. Sabres game which the opening face-off just happens to coincide with a certain Beer-Thirty and a certain Toast arrival. Hmmm, it's as if it were planned??

Enjoy your Turkey Day peoples!! I can tell you that I'm looking forward to it something fierce!!

Authentic Antique 1864 Civil War Cannon

2008-11-25T09:37:00.006-05:00

VALUED AT $17,500; WILL SELL AT $2,000; WEIGHT APPROX, 175 LBS; WAS USED AS A LINE THROWER TO TRAVERSE RIVERS AND CLIFFS DURING THE CIVIL WAR; GREAT COLLECTORS PIECE; FANTASTIC CONVERSATIONAL PIECE

Man, I can't wait for the days when I can just sit around with a group of people and just bring up my breathtaking conversation piece, a Civil War era cannon. This craigslist ad was found in my email this morning as a certain Kool-Aid decided that it was of utmost importance that I discover this unique opportunity. Frankly, I don't see a way around my obtaining this highly interesting relic.

I mean, for me, to own a piece of American History that is a brilliant conversation starter is almost daily priority number one. Screw that going to work shit. Cleaning one's self, who needs it? Not when I can talk about my cannon. Did you know that this very cannon was used as a line thrower to traverse rivers and cliffs during an Epic War in our Nation's History, the Civil War??

How much did you pay for that cannon?? Well, I'm not going to tell you that. That's my little secret. But, what I can tell you is that it as been appraised for over $17,500. What's that you ask?? How much does such a fantastic historical specimen weigh? Well, it currently scales at approximately 175 lbs. That weight just screams authenticity.

And, if you were desperately searching for a new hobby, were you aware that this very authentic antique 1864 Civil War cannon is also a great collectors piece. Finally, all you cannon collectors can complete the set by obtaining the highly elusive 1864 Line Thrower model. Forget about this thing being obtrusive and you need not worry if you are unsure of where to display such a spanking historical artifact. Your 1864 Civil War cannon will tie together any room with its heavy iron-ness and its authentic Civil War cannon-oscity. It just begs for attention. Look at me. See how I shine?? Note that sparkle?? I'm a fucking big ass cannon and I'm sitting here in this jackass's living room for some reason that only this goofy bastard knows about. And why the hell does he have a giant globe in here and a fake marlin on the wall??

In any event, the reason this cannon was brought to my attention is the simple fact that two folks you all should hold dear are currently on the lookout for some more furniture. You see, my beloved apartment, Fort Awesome, is changing street addresses. That's right, Kool-Aid and I are moving. Not far might I add, and to quite the larger place. I'm going to have stairs. You hear that, STAIRS!!! Gone will be the days of the cozy little apartment with a den whose doorway is too narrow to fit a kickass recliner through it's gates. I'm going to have my own living room in a furnished basement for uber manly and definitely non-dorky video game playing to boot. I'll be able to fit a fleet of recliners in that summbitch.

Most importantly though, our new rowhome will allow us to get a dog, something that we've been putting off due to the time it currently takes us to get back and forth to work. Let the "Gary" acquisition commence at year's end people, as we are set to move in January. "Gary" just better make sure he doesn't confuse my new cannon with his toilet. He'll be in a world of hurt if that thing depriciates in value. What on earth would my friends think??

This is what gets me excited these days. Sigh...

2008-11-21T11:43:00.004-05:00

After two long years of renovations the National Museum of American History has finally reopened and guess who's been looking forward to this day for weeks?? First thing tomorrow morning Kool-Aid and I are planning on hitting this thing up for some sweet sweet history experiencin'. I'll probably even go to bed early tonight. Jesus Christ I'm hella lame. Adventure. Excitement. The Toast craves not these things.

Sandwich Party '08

2008-11-18T09:37:00.018-05:00

When I look back at my 29 years of rompin' and stompin' in this world, there are many things that stand out in the forefront of the ol' noggin. Some extremely entertaining, some a tad bit heartbreaking. Other's hilarious or quite painful. The first Pearl Jam show, playing street hockey every spare moment with my brother growing up in the cold Syracuse winters, my parents getting divorced, destroying my shoulder in High School, going to Giants games with my Grandfather, the first day I wore those short rugby shorts (white Irish Catholic thighs ablaze), that time when I built a half-pipe with some friends and my brother laughed at me when I took a massive digger on my first attempt which resulted in my chasing him down and throwing him through a neighbor's door and into their home where he would be yelled at by the kid's vacuum cleaning mother while trying to catch his breath after getting knocked into the corner of a table. Honestly, with the way that I drink I am surprised that some of those are still sticking around.

But there is one very underrated memory that kind of popped in my head the other day and caused me to develop this post for you my internet audience on this Tuesday. What is it you ask?? The infamous, never duplicated, surprisingly subtle, Sandwich Party.

The renowned tale of lore that is, the story behind the Sandwich Party, is not an impressive one. Not at all. Basically, the Sandwich Party consisted of Senior in College Toast and good friend Willie Moe, buying various pounds of deli meat on a Sunday, drinking and watching movies/playing video games and eating sandwiches every hour on the hour while wearing fleece sweatpants. That's it, really; it sounds trivial I know, but it was oh so sweet. You weren't there, you have NO IDEA!!

Now, while the memory of this sandwich party will always stick with me for some odd reason, most likely as a random thing to joke about amongst friends, why it was brought up was to demonstrate sandwiches being my favorite, and thus ending this terribly long introduction and getting to the real subject of this train wreck post. I have decided to end my ever so long internal debate and crown one sandwich, and one sandwich alone, as my favorite. The World's Best Sandwich if you will.

Now, after careful consideration and lots of blind luck, I have come up with a list of tasty sandwiches all worthy of participating in this little competish. If I were computer savvy enough, I'd find a way to get this in some sort of bracket format but I've given up on trying. Instead I have devised a highly technical system to rank said sandwiches. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you. Sandwich Rank-Bot 3000.

Sandwich Rank-Bot 3000 will carefully judge and rank sandwiches according to four extremely important categories. Below is Sandwich Rank-Bot 3000's highly elaborate ranking system.

1. Deliciousness
2. Convenience Factor
3. Sandwich Filling
4. Aftermath

Deliciousness, that's easy and straight to the point. Convenience factor, now things get a little interesting. How much effort goes into acquiring said sandwich?? What do you have to go through to get it? Where do you have to go?? DO you even have to leave the house?? Would you/can you bring them for work lunch?? All of these questions are terribly important when it comes to ranking a sandwich. Next we have the sandwich filling category, not gonna lie to you, but this counts, A-LOT. So, how awesome are the contents of your tasty treat?? Is the combination of meats too much?? Finally, we get to the aftermath of delicious sandwich consumption. Frankly put, what's gonna happen to you later after taking this guy down. Good?? Bad?? Indifferent?? Sandwich Rank-Bot 3000 will let us know.

Philly Cheese Steak
Deliciousness: 5
Convenience: 4
Filling: 5
Aftermath: 2.5

I really love me some cheese steaks. Only problem is, they tear me up if you know what I mean. Well, two problems if you count that finding a really good one is kinda difficult, unless you live in Philadelphia which sadly I do not. I'm sorry, steak-ums don't count. Steak-ums are for the birds.

Pulled Pork Sandwich
Deliciousness: 5
Convenience: 1
Filling: 4
Aftermath: 4

So good. So very good!! However, do you have time to smoke a 8lb pork butt?? Of course you fucking don't!! Who would?? If we had that kind of time we'd be eating delicious smoked meats slathered with bar-be-que sauce all the time. Instead, you know what I had for lunch?? Processed deli turkey with mustard on Dark German Wheat Bread. Ugh. Sure it's good for you but a heaping pile of delicious pork it is not.

Leftover Turkey Sandwich
Deliciousness: 5
Convenience: .5
Filling: 5
Aftermath: 5

Now we're talkin'!! Right here you'll find this little project's big winner. To me, it doesn't get any better than the leftover turkey sandwich. White meat, dark meat, you just can't lose. You can have 'em hot by smothering dem summbitches with gravy. You can just put mayo on it and shove it between a few slices of bread. Hey, why don't you take some of that leftover stuffing that but that on there as well. Better yet, throw some gravy on it too, just to give it some extra panache. It's only downside, you either have to prepare an entire 15 lb turkey to reap the dividends or depending on what you're family enjoys for the holidays, you'll pretty much only have two opportunities to enjoy one of these beauties. Plus, you get the added bonus of taking a nap (tryptophan) and those oh so enjoyable turkey farts!!

Buffalo Chicken
Deliciousness: 5
Convenience: 3
Filling: 4
Aftermath: 3

I rate buffalo flavored items the following: Wings, Pizza, Nachos, Sandwich. I really have no explanation. I just prefer wings. There, I said it!!

Grilled Charlie
"Do NOT put peanut butter on that!! NO!! A Grilled Charlie has peanut butter last!! Peanut butter outside, chocolate inside, butter inside, cheese outside."

Manwich
Deliciousness: 3.5
Convenience: 5
Filling: 3
Aftermath: 5

One of the funniest things about Manwich is the fact that when I first starting dating Kool-Aid, her roommate Matt decided to make this for a party that they were having and by the end of the night not one individual decided to indulge in all of its mantastic glory. I can only imagine the reaction by these people when they first saw it, just sitting there in a skillet. "Uh...is that Manwich??" I think all guests thought that someone had made it earlier in the day and just decided not to clean up, it's the only explanation. To me, this stuff is delicious. I like to hollow out the top part of the bun so that it holds in even more awesome Manwich, like a Manwich pocket. Kool-Aid refuses to allow me to make this at home. Sigh..

Arby's Roast Beef
Deliciousness: 4
Convenience: 5
Filling: 3.5
Aftermath: 5

Arby's is awesome, that's all I'll say. It is the only fast food that I'll eat. Something about the concoction that is Horsey's sauce combined with Arby's Sauce that turns a regular roast beef sandwich into utter deliciousness. Still, with an Arby's pretty much on every corner, it's got that convenience factor all but pegged doesn't it. However, it's still Arby's and no matter how good it tastes, it is a sandwich that quite possibly isn't real at all. How can a sandwich that costs $2.99 win this thing. It can't, that's how!

Reuben
Deliciousness: 4
Convenience: 3
Filling: 3
Aftermath: 4

Reuben's are just a classic sandwich. No varying on things here though, and that's gonna cost it a few points overall. Enjoyable, you betcha!!! The Tops??? Eh, not so much. Sorry there little fella. I still do find you quite tasty what with you're delicious corned beef, swiss cheese, rye bread and sauerkraut. All it's good points though, I can't make them well at home. I fuck it up somehow, every single time. I have no explanation but they always come out like a pile of hot garbage that tastes not nearly as good as I envisioned it would. So, that means, I have to go out to get them whenever a reuben is in the cards for the Toast and 50% of the time that'll hurt your chances every time.

Italian Beef Sandwiches
Deliciousness: 5
Convenience: 2
Filling: 5
Aftermath: 1

I was first introduced to Italian Style Beef Sandwiches on a random visit out to see my mother in Chicago a number of years ago. We had gone to a restaurant called Portillos that featured these summbitches. Now, I have found recipes that allow me to make these on my own, the only thing is that the entire process is a bit of a hassle. Who has time to cook meat for a few hours, refrigerate it, slice it as thin as humanly possible, heat it up in a pot of its own delicious natural juices, and then enjoy. Mind you, I have had the time in the past, but not often enough to give it top billing. Explaining the aftermath is easy.

Chipwich
Deliciousness: 5
Convenience: 5
Filling: 5
Aftermath: 5

Oddly enough the Chipwich rounds out with the top score out of all these awesome and stomach busting sammiches. Note that the Chipwich is indeed a sandwich, it's in the name godammit!! It is found that the Toast will do extreme amounts of manual labor for no other payment than a chipwich. Move you cross country, you'll owe me a chipwich. Need help getting that couch upstairs, it'll cost you a chipwich. Be your wingman for an evening, that'll run you about a chipwich or two. See how that works.

Blarney Burger
Deliciousness: 5
Convenience: -2
Filling: 5
Aftermath: 1

The Blarney Burger is named after my favorite bar in my old stomping grounds, Tipperary Hill, a predominantly Irish neighborhood in my hometown of Syracuse, NY. The Blarney Stone ran a special every Wednesday night that featured the Blarney Burger, a half lb burger with the works, and a side of fires for $4.50. It should be noted that the Blarney Burger should not count as it is indeed not a sandwich and I no longer live in this neighborhood/within NY State boundaries thus plummeting the burger's convenience to an all-time low score of -2. Also, it is a sleeping pill under the clever guise of a delicious burger. Under all circumstances, one should not consume an entire Blarney Burger and A. attempt to operate heavy machinery, and B. try to hang out, drink, and score ladies as this is a recipe for bad news. Please be advised, stand fast for late night jail breaks.

Grilled Cheese
Deliciousness: 5
Convenience: 5
Filling: 4
Aftermath: 5

A very underrated sandwich in it's own right. That's the problem, I never think to make them. In college, they would have them at the cafeteria cut in half just ready for the taking. And I wonder how I got over 200 lbs first semester sophomore year when I broke my arm in the first practice and wasn't playing hockey but instead just eating these fucking things all the goddamn time. Seriously, I'd pile like 5 sandwiches all together on one plate and a bowl of soup and just go to town. Realistically, they are a top 5 sandwich, no matter how you slice it. HA!! Get it??

Meatball Sub
Deliciousness: 4.5
Convenience: 2.5
Filling: 5 (they're fucking meatballs, of course they're delicious!!)
Aftermath: 3.5

These only really count if you make the meatballs from scratch, or they're from your Italian Grandmother's recipe. I'm wicked Irish, like full blown. I don't have the luxury of a Grandmother's recipe. We boil our meats, not cover them in delicious sauce. Cheese....don't even get me started. We have no idea what cheese is or if it actually exists, unless its made from a goat or sheep, or something like that and that kind of cheese doesn't even hold a candle to shit like mozzarella.

Pa Cregg's Breakfast Sandwich
Deliciousness: 4
Convenience: 4 (if you can fry up bacon, then you can make this summbitch)
Filling: 4.5 (for ingenuity)
Aftermath: 3 (sooo greasy)

My Dad, god bless him, made up this sandwich before I was even born and whenever we'd have family breakfasts he'd make these things up...for himself!! Okay okay okay okay, occasionally we'd have them too. These get the Toast stamp of approval so when you have the time, take a moment and make them yourself. Basically, just make an English muffin, slather that summbitch with peanut butter (I prefer chunky), throw some bacon on it, smoosh it together, and eat. Awfully tasty. Downside...may cause a heart attack.

Monte Cristo
Deliciousness: 4.5
Convenience: 0

You know what, I'm not gonna write anymore about a sandwich that you have to make french toast before you can enjoy it. FUCK and NO!!

Well, that is pretty much it. I mean, I can get into your sandwich staples like chicken salad, ham and cheese, tuna melts (so fucking good except you have to make tuna and that smells up the kitchen), and chicken pitas but I have to get to work at some point. And, I guess I'll leave you with the following. It's been in my head the past few days, hence the picture. Hilarious I tells you!!! HILL-LARIOUS!!

It's Van Damme Friday!!

2008-11-14T10:57:00.003-05:00

See...this guy gets it.

"YEE-HAW!!! You Are Fuckin' Literate!"

2008-11-13T10:14:00.008-05:00

Last night the Toast here trekked to a Borders in nearby Tysons Corners, VA for a book reading of "Men With Balls" by KSK Co-Founder and Deadspin Contributor Drew Magary. For those in the know, it was just as awesome as it sounds!!!

Drew, I can't really bring myself to call him by his blogging surname of Big Daddy Drew, basically read a few passages from his book, answered some questions, met and shook hands with everyone that showed up, chatted away for about a half hour, and then hit the bar with his fans in tow. It was, just as I expected it to be; low key, cordial, hilarious, and genuine all topped off with delicious alcohol. Realistically, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Well, I guess the book reading/signing could just have easily taken place in the bar, but I don't make those decisions and I think, he may not have either. Damn you publisher who shall remain nameless, DAMN YOU (shakes fist)!

Not gonna lie to you, I had a few road sodas on the way out there to boot. A couple tasty Arrogant Bastard Pale Ales and with the drive taking close to 45 minutes due to traffic, I had to go something fierce as pulled in to park. After downing what remained of road soda no.3, I ran into Borders desperately searching for the bathroom as we still had a few moments till this little reading got underway. And who should I run into as I approached the men's room, Mr. Magary himself. We did the dance as we tried to go past one another; you know, you both go right, then go left, continue. This was followed by his simple, yet polite: "Sorry." I countered with: "Here, I'll go this way." He was taller than I thought he'd be. Whatever.

One nice point from last night's little reading was that Drew also read a post from his FKS days, which I always thought were hilarious, as they seemed to be a bit more personal; for the simple fact that...they were indeed more personal. I don't know, I guess it comes down to, writing, for or about yourself always seems to have a way different feel than the alternative, a book of dick and fart jokes.

Nevertheless, good times all around. Had a few beers, a few laughs, what-have-you's. All that and I was able to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Hot damn, that's good Wednesday!

"Who am I?? I'm a fucking Veteran."

2008-11-11T11:34:00.006-05:00

Happy Veteran's Day everybody. Now, if we can just keep these G.D. kids from riding their skateboards and listening to this "rock music". I tell ya what, this generation is worse than the hippies, the flappers, and the Nazis combined...at least the hippies gave us those fat watchbands, and the flappers could dance, and the Nazis had that song "Eight Days a Week". What?? That was the Beatles?? Well who did I say??

In all seriousness, thank you for what you did for this country.

Now thats out of the way, I do really like this Weezer tune. The album, well to me it's really just another Weezer album, not great but fun to listen to. A few good jams and I have a top notch time while rocking it but when it's done I just don't really want to listen to Weezer for a day or two. Ok, I'm outta here, word on the street is I have my review coming up. Well, it's not really word on the street if your boss told you about it and has already agreed up luncheon plans. I'm sooo gonna get me a reuben. That raise yet remains undecided.

Just sitting here, eatin' and wearin' me some sweatpants

2008-11-10T10:46:00.009-05:00

This morning I am back at the office following one of the greatest weekends I've had in a while. But what did I do?? What could possibly make this weekend far superior to those that had recently passed by?? Well, to be honest, I did nothing, ab-so-lute-ly nothing and it was everything I'd hoped it would be. Eating and sitting. A few beers and some football. That's about it. Now, there have been some repercussions from my weekend of my self shut-in but I reckon that my inane ability to interact well with others will come back soon.

Following my Friday night of getting kinda drunk at the hands of some mighty potent IPA and being kind of an ass when the ladyfriend and I met up with some of her co-workers, I was left alone on both my Saturday and Sunday as Kool-Aid was out in the Atlantic City for a bachelorette party. Now, part of me wanted to go out and woop it up like the good ol' weekends of my single days. You know, boy's night out type of stuff. Or was this to be my weekend to just put no effort out whatsoever and reap the benefits of being home alone with nothing on the agenda?? Eureka!! I am the greatest man alive. Time to bust out them sweatpants.

Now, when you're hunkering in for a long haul weekend, you're going to need some supplies. So, I spent part of my Saturday morning going out and loading up on the "essentials" for the weekend.

- Root beers? Check.
- Delicious real beers? Check (Remember, you've got games to watch, time to stock up!!)
- Random Hilarity for those down times? Check

- Random movies on demand? Ooh...I think I see "Big Trouble in Little China". And, is that, "Police Academy 3"?? You better believe it is.
- 3.5 lb top round roast for Chigago Style Italian Beef Sandwiches? Check and mate.

About the only thing that went wrong on this little venture would be the fact that I was kinda hungover from drinking my dinner the night before. Oh..and I accidentally bought dark chocolate peanut m&m's. Not a deal breaker mind you, but the Toast here prefers the classic ones. What can I say, I'm a man of tradition.

Now, the remainder of the weekend, aside from a rather responsible trip to the gym on Sunday morning, was spent logging some sweet sweet couch time. With the Giants game on at 8pm on Sunday, estimated of total couch time nearing the double digits and that's pretty impressive. I can't even estimate the amount of stress on those sweats though. Lord knows what is holding them together as they had to endure, not only a significant portion of Italian beef digestion, but also deal with the chicken enchiladas I made for movie marathon Saturday. Oooh...bad chicken...mess you up!

Fortunately I get to welcome Kool-Aid home this evening, only to give reasons to why Fort Awesome has this ever present funk kicking through its ever so awesome walls. It's like a combination of beef jerky, sulfur, and a dead bobcat. Unfortunately the pumpkin spiced candle on the coffee table didn't stand a chance. Hurts not so good I tells ya, hurts not so good.

All that being thrown at you I have no real end to this post so I shall take a small bow. Coming soon to Toastedblog, intriguing, hard hitting, and possibly relevant material. Till then, you'll have to filter through this crap.

"You don't understand who they thought I was supposed to be."

2008-11-06T09:10:00.008-05:00

Vote for Change.

2008-11-04T09:00:00.004-05:00

Pretty simple today Toastedblog faithful, get out there and vote today. Toast here has been screwed in the past by announcing where his support may lie so this year I've kept my opinions to myself, no matter whom I may be backing (Obama). Gotta let you all alone to figure it out for yourselves. Now, pretty much the only thing left to decide is whether to go with a Chicago style or thin crust. Hmm...that's a riddle wrapped in an enigma if I ever saw one. Good luck at the polls people!!

"Guess what?! I've got a fever, and the only prescription.....is more Toastedblog."

2008-11-03T14:59:00.007-05:00

"Don't tone it down too much, you're gonna want that cowbell on this track."

Oh...hello. Didn't see you walk in there. So, how we doin' Toastedblog faithful?? It seems we've been a bit out of touch here of late. I know, I know, it's predominantly my fault but when you're livin' for the city, life seems to zoom by, often out of control. Take these scenarios for minute. A lil' bit of the recent what up and highlights in the life of, yours truly, Mayor McToast. I'm not promising much, but what you read is true. We'll catch up with you soon, for realsies. Right now, I'm pooped.

"How Bout 'Dem Cowboys?!"

Yesterday the Toast, with Kool-Aid in tow, trekked up ol' NY way for the Giants vs. Cowboys game. Highlights include, delicious sandwich, some beers, meeting up with Pa Cregg and a few of his buddies, some guy falling off one of those motorized ride-on coolers. Oh, and the Cowboys getting trounced by the Giants defense. Oh Mama is right!!

More important was the fact that I was actually at the game. We had a bit of a close call in the ticket acquisition portion of this particular Giants game. My Uncle, who resides in Buffalo, NY and holds the family's season tickets had sent them next day air on Thursday to Fort Awesome (Alexandria, VA). Well, apparently to our friends at FedEX, next day air means not showing up till Monday. This is actually an assumption as tickets still are not in my possession and I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that they will arrive today; 3 full days after they were supposed to. Some fancy footwork made this dream a reality though. Kudos to the NY Giants Ticket Box Office and Uncle Bob for getting on the horn on Saturday and allowing me not to waste $200. Congrats, you should all be quite proud to recieve the Avis "We Try Harder" award. At Avis, where we try harder.

"You know what? SPRINTS!!"

Below is a picture of the Toast at Halloween last year. Why am I showing you a picture of a Halloween costume from a full calender year ago?? Because my dream of being Johnny Mac this year never came to fruition due to lack of white short shorts searching and thus was left this most recent Halloween to re-live the dream that was, the High School Gym Coach. Note the gut internet audience, that's four pillowcases and a t-shirt or two hard at work there.

*Key sidenote*: this costume won the Toast third place in his Annual At-Work Halloween Costume Contest. Third prize was that I was just given another beer. You know what.....I have no problem with that. Special congrats to Kool-Aid as well, who makes her official Toastedblog debut, in a little skirt and neckerchief no less. Quite provocative Kool-Aid, quite indeed. Something tells me that with a quick blow from my whistle I should be making her do a few squat-thrusts, OW!!

"Just like my main man, GW."

On Saturday Kool-Aid and I spent the day hiking some trail a number of miles that leads to nearby Mount Vernon, VA. Not much to add here, I just wanted you to know that I spent some on my weekend time taking in some well deserved history of one of America's founding fathers and our country's first president. Plus, that G.D. estate has quite the view...and it's own distillery. Yowzers!!

There's been other stuff but to be all honest my brain isn't working so well as there was a ton of time spent behind the wheel of a Passat going back and forth to the NYC yesterday, leaving early yesterday and arriving home at Fort Awesome quite late last night. You'll hear about all the madcap hilarity from someone, trust me.

"I like the lumberjack look bro."

2008-10-28T08:29:00.010-04:00

I am glad to say that I live in a city that is basically just a collective grouping of fucktards looking to one-up each other. Unfortunately, when Kool-Aid and I moved down here, this little nugget of information was not in the brochure.

The district is full of some of the more pretentious folk that I have ever encountered. Everyone here has their own agenda and if you are not a part of it, or the sort that wears a fucking blazer on the weekend, well, you best look the fuck out cause that guy has some serious shit to get to and your courteous and all around pleasant demeanor certainly isn't helping. Dammit, I knew something was amiss when I saw so many scarfs being worn in the springtime; I....I just couldn't react.

The Toast was at a party this weekend and the following was uttered to me by collective bags of douche upon my meeting some apparent friends of friends:

"I like the lumberjack look bro."

I was wearing a flannel, nothing more, nothing less. I don't have a beard, nor an axe. No blue ox named Blue or a hat with the flaps to keep my ears warm. I just was wearing a flannel, with a Who t-shirt underneath it. Not even the classic red and black patterned flannel that one would associate with a lumberjack. Perhaps it should have been tucked in, or ironed?? Who knows really? What I want to figure out is, why is this out of the ordinary here??

What I've come to wonder is this, am I the only one who likes to be comfortable? I like to ROCK a bit so I know what I'm doing day to day, but simply put, I really don't care how I am dressed when I go out. I mean, I have a sense of style, but it is my own. I am not walking to the beat of someone else's drum and that is what I get from so many people here. They are so worked up on appearances that it is all they think about. I HAVE to get in to the best club. I HAVE to fucking dress to the nines all of the time, even at a random house party. I HAVE to wear my $200 jeans and they HAVE to be ironed when I do so. Better yet, I HAVE to wear the ones that have the strategically placed rips and imperfections. My jeans only start ripping away from hard work or the stress at the seams from all this ass.

I guess this is what I get for living in a city where so many people are chasing the dream, being a fucking ignorant pre-madonna whose shit don't stink with a wad of cash and a lexus hybrid. I mean, I recently saw a kid, had to be fresh out of college, walking down the street on a Friday night with his ladyfriend, smoking a pipe. WTF?? The kid looked like Sherlock Holmes. Where the fuck am I??? I mean, really, where am I??

On that note, I gotta run. I think my blackberry is ringing.

"....Well, reckon I'll have me a little bracer."

2008-10-24T11:26:00.005-04:00

This weekend, Kool-Aid and I are throwing a party. Nothing too out of control. The theme you ask?? Simply put it's "Just Get Drunk". As you can see, we're REAL into planning.

In all seriousness, it shouldn't be too crazy. Just invited a few people over to good 'ol "Fort Awesome" for some random debauchery, beer pong, and general all around high fivin' good times. My contribution to this whole fiasco is not only fixin' this proverbial big rig up with some hard-core eats but also some hard-core beats to boot. As we speak the Toast cooking up some good ideas in the head and planning on dishing out his mean chili and some of dem bar-b-que hot wings this guy is always thinking about making. As for the spinning of the favorites, we're still working on that. Some may ask, Toast, how do you go about picking tunes that fit everyone's bill?? Well, it's pretty simple really; anything I damn well want to play, well that will be on it. BOOM!

And in case anyone was wondering where today's title comes from, why don't you take yourself a ganders at what's below. "Thank's for the sour persimmons, cousin."

DRIP-ALONG DAFFY Funny Jokes at JibJab

Can one of y'all pass me a biscuit???

2008-10-22T10:20:00.012-04:00

The Toast rose up and kicked a little ass with some presentations the past two days here at office, and that got me thinking, what else kicks ass?? Besides myself, and biscuits of course. Can you tell that this post is quite the stretch?? That's what happens when you be a bit busy. Anywho, enjoy...if you dare.

- fried stuff with cheese; mozzarella sticks, I'm looking at you here.
- throwin' the ball around
- gravy boats
- "Easy Company", that's the 101st Airborne son!! Band of Brothers is the SHIT!!
- tigers at the zoo
- rockin' a flannel
- leftover Oreo cake that your girlfriend made for her family's visit.
- Labatt Blue brought from back home
- Wegmans
- Empire Apples
- any scene from The Big Lebowski, extra kickass if it features Walter
- Pearl Jam: Live from Lollapalooza '07
- blasting a dookie at work; you feel better, you get paid for it, you pretty much can't lose!!
- staying connected with friends, even if its just drunken text messaging during a Sox loss
- "The Rum Diary"
- making the decision to go ahead with that second Italian Beef sandwich
- lightsaber fights
- Kool-Aid letting me watch multiple sporting events during the week
- casual Fridays
- Caddyshack Quotes
- getting a dog and naming him Gary
- owning an HD TV. this has not happened yet but I can totally imagine it being pretty kickass
- Buddy Christ
- margaritas
- Brandon Jacobs, man does he truck people
- speaking of truck, having a name like Chuck Wallace so people can call you Chuck "The Truck" Wallace and you can make hand motions like you are pulling on the horn of a big rig...sweet.
- livin' the dream
- Obi-Wan Kenobi
- Jason Bourne
- chili
- wicked wristers
- The Clash
- Hobbes
- not giving a good god damn
- Trot
- watching the Muppets
- when you have your I-Pod on random and it plays a heap 0' awesome beats in a row
- moon roofs
- a sandwich party, I only know of one that actually existed but it was one of the single most awesome experiences of my life
- my bed
- 30 Rock, new season starts on Thursday night bitches!!
- "Jungle Love", by Morris Day and Jerome, the muthafuckn' TIME!
- Magic Hat's new seasonal Jynx, it's an English Ale, perfect for the fall and to get that hop in your step for the evening a bit earlier than normal
- driving fast and taking chances
- designer fashions at discount prices, if I have to be at a mall, I might as well save some hard earned cash
- "Eulogy" by Tool
- finding a curly fry in with your regulars
- hip checks
- Aragorn
- going skiing at Stowe in January
- BBQ sauce
- half days
- Ghostbusters
- Cheesesteaks from Pat's
- Elizabeth Banks

- a good play action fake
- yellow corn tortilla chips
- the Worthington Law
- a couple days off
- root beers
- regular beers
- "Rebubula" by moe
- mushroom swiss burgers
- dancing like you just don't care
- windows down on a nice afternoon while rocking some beats
- watching Seinfeld for the first time in a few years
- playoff baseball
- weekends in the fall
- chipwiches

Okay, okay, okay, okay; you can see where we're heading here. Me thinks it is time that I get to work. Feel free to add anything that I missed.

Toast OUT!

I couldn't even make it till lunch

2008-10-17T12:44:00.007-04:00

Ok, so much for not trying to remark on Game 5. I am sitting here and while I have been productive at the office today, which is kinda a miracle seeing as how I just got loaded watching the Sox last night, all I seem to be doing with my down time is checking out responses to last night's game. Everytime I think of CoCo Crisp's 10 pitch at bat that tied up the game, I get this funny feeling that just waves over me.

That being said there is something eerily familiar about this upcoming Game 6. An injured ace who is a bit of a blowhard and probably shouldn't be pitching is out looking to make amends from getting absolutely destroyed in an earlier start in the series, and finds himself starting a crucial and pivotal Game 6 in the opponent's home park. Hmmmm...where have I seen that before??

"The Foot Fist Way"

2008-10-17T09:46:00.010-04:00

Instead of writing a little something about the Game 5 of the ALCS like everyone else, I decided to take a different path for this morning's daily nonsense.

"The Foot Fist Way" is a movie that I picked up the other day that has been recommended to me a while back by a very good friend of mine, this guy.

"The Foot Fist Way" is also the movie that I was set to fire up in the ol' DVD player during the top of the 7th inning as the Rays went up 7-0 and couldn't watch my team get absolutely destroyed again.

"The Foot Fist Way" would have been the movie that I was watching instead of the Sox un-FUCKIN'-believable comeback starting with 2 outs in the 7th finally culminating with J.D. Drew's game winning single in the 9th.

"The Foot Fist Way" is just going to have to wait for another day as the Sox are heading to the Trop for Game 6. Movie still looks fucking HI-larious though.

I still don't believe what I saw last night. As my buddy Willie Moe texted me last night: "Why can't they ever do anything the easy way?"

"Hey Rick! I never made a slam dunk before, thanks for the boost."

2008-10-15T09:13:00.013-04:00

This is what I've been dealing with the past few days.

Saturday Night: Tampa Bay Rays 9 - Boston Red Sox 8

Monday Afternoon: Tampa Bay Rays 9 - Boston Red Sox 1

Monday Night: Cleveland Browns 35 - NY Giants 14

Last Night: Tampa Bay Rays 13 - Boston Red Sox 4

The top of the 6th inning of last night's game was my breaking point. The Rays were amidst a 5 run inning and Boston was playing like a collective ball of fuck out there. With my teams collectively being outscored 66-27 over the course of four days, I couldn't take it anymore. With my anger rising and rising, I went out and did the logical thing; I began searching for solace.

Solace founded. I lucked into a little something on one of my 873 pay channels. Ahh...Comcast, you finally proving your worth. So, for some odd reason I love the movie "The Cable Guy". There is just something about it that puts a little extra bounce in my step. Some may think that the film is awful and Jim Carrey should probably go ahead and apologize for it. For shame!! You bitches need to open up your eyes. Truth be told, I think its my favorite movie that he's done; that or "Eternal Sunshine". Most likely it's "Eternal Sunshine". But nevertheless, it's a G.D. classic and deserves your utmost respect.

I pretty much think its the lisp that Chip Douglas (Carrey's character) has that sends me through the roof. That and the entire scene in Medieval Times. Being 16 when the movie came out, my younger brother Cory and I used to reenact that scene endlessly, especially the dialogue when Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick are battling each other as knights. Ever since that move I have been DYING to go to Medieval Times. Kool-Aid promised that we would go there on my birthday, as one is located in nearby Baltimore, MD. How convenient that we happened to be out of town on my birthday and still, to this very day, that promise has not been fulfilled. You lied to me.

Ok, I am getting off track. You readers should know that this is very common. The main point of this post is that when I woke up this morning, I wasn't so terribly bitter and visibly as pissed off as I would have/should be. All I can think about is Chip Douglas' warm up before he plays basketball, Carrey's lisp, and this one line which I will close out with; a line my buddy Matt used to say all the time and hearing it live got me laughing it out loud. Until then, fucking Red Sox better come out to play on Thursday and the Giants loss was bound to happen, you can't win all the time. Just don't let it happen again boys. Then I'll really start getting upset. And. here. we. go.

Chip: "Yeah I was taking a shower and I heard the phone ring, has that ever happened to you? Call me back later, we'll talk about it"

Call me back later, we'll talk about it. heeheeheehahahahAHAHAHAAHAA!

"The Secret Power of Your Balls"

2008-10-14T09:42:00.004-04:00

I subscribe to Men's Health. I do this in effort to keep myself looking like an Adonis, or at least like his slightly out of shape older brother who just can't seem to shake that nasty chicken wing habit. Whatever, that's not the point.

Why am I telling you this?? Well, this morning I find an email from the Men's Health website which caught me a bit off guard. Now, it's not odd for me to find an email from their site in my inbox as I do get little tips and hints from them on a daily basis. Whether they are offering suggestions in ways to lower your girlfriend's inhibitions in the sack (check and mate Men's Health), informing me in ways to achieve that highly coveted V-torso, or letting this guy know that the muscle that woman are most likely to notice is the one between my ears, these emails find their way to me. Some I take heed, some I ignore, and then there are the ones that are just "mind bottling". "Yeah. You know when things are so crazy, you get your thoughts trapped, like in a bottle." Case in point, "The Secret Power of Your Balls". Better start pricing those replacement bike seats and buying organic fellas; only good things can happen.

I don't even know how to respond. Once again, for the cheap seats, "mind bottling". On that note, I think it's time to start researching some of these sure fire better sex bedroom tactics. It's almost like I'm going to war, what with the strategies, tactics, and what-not. I am the general, she is the enemy. This can't miss.

"Shit, if this gonna be that kind of party I gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes."

2008-10-13T16:03:00.007-04:00

In about 15 minutes I am set to attempt a straight dead sprint to the passat, put it in drive, and trek the 20 mile journey home to miss as little as possible of Game 3 between the Sawx and Tampa, opening pitch is slated for 4:37 pm. Hopefully this game isn't the 5 1/2 hr plus extra inning affair (and Red Sox loss) that this past Saturday brought to us as the Giants are also on Monday Night Football tonight, taking on the mighty Cleveland Browns. Thank God I'm a good boyfriend cause the next few hours for the Toast, well, they're going to be off..the hook. To quote good pal Uncle Jitter "we're not gonna live to see midnight."

It's not really Happening...at all.

2008-10-10T12:12:00.003-04:00

With little or no sports on a few days ago and with the Toast still nursing somewhat of a cold due to my white water rafting while sick last weekend I decided to go ahead and rent a few movies for my at home in jammies enjoyment. One in particular that I was kinda excited to break into was the new Shyamalan flick "The Happening" as the Toast here can get carried away with those creepy types and I'm a bit of a Shyamalan fan. This one here though....eh...it's not so good.

Now, while I'm not saying pump the breaks when you think about picking it up, what I AM saying is that Shyamalan better wow me with something right quick. He seems to be filled with clever ideas and the first half of "The Happening" was pretty kick ass. It's just the finished product that sort of lets you down and it has been this way with me over the course of his last few films.

It used to be that if I didn't see a Shyamalan film in theatres I would go out and buy it once it became available on the DVD. After I bought "Lady in the Water" without watching it I vowed to never make that mistake again. I am certainly glad I did not do that with this latest one. But I'll let you all be the judge of it as I certainly won't discredit the film or go well out of my way in preventing you all from watching it. Hell, I mean I even liked it myself; it just needs a bit more and hopefully Shyamalan is beginning to see why. Fucking "The Sixth Sense", "Signs", and "Unbreakable" were pretty kick ass though. Even "The Village" was damn sweet (I really liked it even though you know the proverbial Shyamalan twist right off the bat). I'd love to his films go back to that kind of quality.

Ooh ooh..and rent "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". It ended up being a good flick plus it gave me a completely different take on Mila Kunis. Dang Dang!!

Shit.

2008-10-09T18:42:00.005-04:00

The first thing that I read on the sports ticker when I finally sit down at home on the couch and turn on ESPN News is that Mike Timlin has been added to the Red Sox's ALCS roster. (Enthusiastically sarcastic smile and thumbs up) Man..that's great news!!

Comingtoyaaaahaaaa!!!

2008-10-09T14:58:00.005-04:00

It's back baby, the NHL is back!!! Tonight the NHL regular season triumphanly returns and the Toast here is happier than the proverbial pig in shit. Better yet, my squad, the Boston Bruins, well they are set to be on TV tonight. Say it with me now folks, the fucking jackpot right?!?!

Though the Toast is a big time hockey fan, the NHL kinda got recharged with me last year as the Bruins finally decided to win a few here and there as they made the playoffs for the first time in a few years; even pushing the No. 1 seed in the East, les Habitants, to the 7th game in the opening round. Considering all of the injuries that the team had and their record against the Canadians last regular season, last years pseudo playoff run is quite the feat in the eyes of us Bruins fans.

More important is the fact that the Toast, who hasn't had a favorite NHL player since the fitting retirement of previous fav following his long awaited Stanley Cup victory in 2001, has hopped on board with this Milan Lucic fella. That kid Lucic better get to ride to the vet quick cause his pythons are SIIICK!! Man...if only I were 6'4", 220. Damn that'd be pretty G.D. awesome. I'd be gettin'. shit. done. Stupid 5'11", what have you done for me lately?? Sure I can reach those paper towels at the top of the pantry but do I have an NHL career?? Yeah, where were you then?? Look at him, especially at the 23 second mark. He's off the fucking chain!!! A beast I tells ya!! A fucking beast!!

"When you've found something so good it's hard to focus on what's right"

2008-10-07T08:51:00.002-04:00

Dear the Frames,

If it's in your power please decide to come back to the East Cost, preferably the Northern VA/Washington DC area, you know, just to do a couple shows. I have recently come in possession of a live show from back in April '07 that was done at a local venue here in the District called the 9:30 Club that was made available through NPR and by god is that a damn fine beat you boys are producing.

Now, your studio stuff is something I have enjoyed for a while and word on the street was that your music should be experienced live because, well for lack of a better term, your shows were just that bad ass. After giving this show the once over I have found myself repeatedly going back to soak it in, and this is from a guy that is out there takin' it to the streets; a man about town who's busy driving fast and taking chances who often doesn't have the time to sit around and listen to two and a half hour concerts with multiple sets.

In this instance however, I have made the time. Now, all that I am asking is that you make the time, just like I have, to stop by and maybe just hit me up for a little bit. I didn't live down in D.C. back in April of '07 and to be honest, it'd be pretty sweet if you would. I realize that you all probably have families and you're away from your homes across the pond in Ireland but I have a family too and my girlfriend is currently none to happy with me, due to a slight misapplication of my time (Oh, don't worry, this one has nothing to do with you, it's all me). Think of what will happen if I continue to devote so much of my time your way. Loss of job?? Loss of significant other?? Drop 20 lbs and wake up three months later to find that I am working in a record store?? Hmm, that last one wouldn't be so bad, at least the record store part, but let's make it 10 lbs, I'm pretty happy with my current frame.

Ok, now I am starting to miss the mark. Anywho, I end now just reinstating how much I would enjoy it if you were to drop by the East Coast here in the states, just for a little while. I'm sure quite a few others would appreciate it to boot as I am telling all the "real" music fans that I encounter about you fellas. Besides, I think there are others that are just like me as well, huge fans of a little known band state side that both love a good show and a fucking damn good time. Just think about it is all.

Regards,

Toastmaster General

P.S. The song "Finally" is the mad note!

Yoikes...And Away!!!

2008-10-03T10:40:00.005-04:00

Amidst my fall season of conquest and outdoor awesomeness comes a scheduled trip to good ol' West Virginia backcountry as the Toast is about to leave the cozy confines of his office here in the District for a weekend in the water and the woods. That's right folks, this kid and his Kool-Aid are off to Fayetteville, WV to do some camping and white water rafting.

Toast here has some experience in the water, but mostly either water skiing or a few kayaking journeys. Rapids are something I'm kinda green on. Good news is that I woke up with the beginnings of a cold so that should greatly enhance the outdoor sleeping. Even better news is chances of pictures posted on this blog of me without a shirt and wearing a helmet are at an all time high. Ladies...I'll give you a moment to compose yourselves.

It's about a 5 hour drive to our destination and nothing really screams camping in the middle of nowhere like a Volkswagen Passat with a loaded trunk. Just make sure to watch the leather, those seats aren't scratch proof you know.

Blargh!

2008-10-01T12:13:00.007-04:00

Normally I'm one for fall with it's changing foliage, cooler weather so I can rock me some flannels, and it's heightening my chili making desire but so far this whole fall thing is for the birds. I mean, it's actually getting colder outside and I'm still all hip on this wearing short pants thing. Sun not up when I get out of bed and by the time I get back from the gym, darkness encompasses all around me. Not only that but local Virginia weather of late has largely consisted of rain and for some reason my landlord has decided not to heed cries for help as my library/den/smaller backroom that is chock full of bookcases and the computer desk has sprung some sort of leak and water is dripping from the ceiling above one of the windows. What a lousy white knight in shining army this guy makes. Top it all of with my back continuing to ache something fierce and you've got a not so happy camper on your hands.

Arggh!! And now the piece de resistance, I have just been informed that my cellular phone provider is set to increase the amount I am charged per text message. In this struggling economy?!?! I mean, I fucking spent ten dollars on about a dozen apples the other day at the grocery store. I know this phone thing is a minute detail, but sometimes it's the little things that cause folks to snap.

Sigh...but you must deal and the Toast, well he continues to press on. It's time to take it to the streets people!! And by streets, I mean, find activities to engage in that take your mind off what ails ya. So, my back is making me walk around like an old man, causes me to stink of icy hot and forces me to stick a heating pad in the waist of my jammies to ease the tension. Well, baby it's time to find the good in the bad. Since you're not going to be out there livin' this afternoon due to this whole back issue, playoff baseball shall be your saviour and its about to hit up your evening programming. What's that, your Kool-Aid is out playing volleyball tonight. Hot Damn, no need to worry about her entertainment needs so saddle up with some nachos and watch some ball big guy.

Raining in Virginia you say. Well get your ass outta dodge and head west young man. West Virginia that is as this coming weekend you're going to do a spot of camping and whitewater rafting, with the rapids and such. Man...I love me some outdoor, over the fire cookin'.

And what happens when you get back Toast?? Well, the fucking Giants are on as the fall is time for football and your team is presently undefeated. No need to worry about that trouble making bye week as you've already endured that hell. Early season bye week never tasted so good. Speaking of tasting good, why don't you make some of that FINE cuisine that you're always talking about. Fall is damn perfect for that shit.

Now that I think about it, I've been down for no reason. I mean, its October, big deal. With October you get the aforementioned playoff baseball and something I haven't even hinted at, the wonderful eating and drinking that only Oktoberfests can provide. You know who probably likes Oktoberfest...Kool-Aid. More importantly, she'll probably just like the weekend afternoon spent with her boy toy in the out of doors. You know, looking at liederhosen, brats, sauerkraut, beer steins and other shit that those kooky Germans are in to. Not only that, the NHL season starting up and we all know how the Toast loves his hockey. I may even try to get all up on the Caps this year. Who knows??

I've been going about this whole thing all wrong. Now I've just caught wind that Phish is reuniting. And they're playing in Virginia come March '09. Fuck and Yes. Perhaps it was just the last few days of September that got this kid kinda down. Not wanting to let go of summer I guess and the year still just flying by. Hell, this realization has already put an extra hop in my step. Not too much mind you, I still have this whole back thing to worry about. Now, I have no way to end this so I shall take a small bow. We'll catch you on the flip flop Internet friends. Stay loose!

There's no basement in the Alamo!

2008-09-24T11:22:00.003-04:00

Well ladies and gentlemen, kids of all ages and you daffy senior citizens, the Toast here is about to jet off to good ol' Plano, TX for a few days of work related debauchery; i.e. to learn some folks good about what it is exactly that I do here. Ah..Texas, the Sunshine State..GORGEOUS!! Updates from the road to come. Haven't decided if I'm going to do a running diary of the haps of this work trip or if I'll just stick with the ever impressive Plan B, which is to take down enough TexMex to choke a donkey; post work of course. Nevertheless, I'm going to have some time to kill and the idea of sitting in a hotel room from the hours of 7pm-sleepy time does not get my dander up in the least.

Currently I am making a sweet I-Pod mix for my time in the air and layover in Hot-lanta. Eh...we'll see how it turns out. I'm fore-seeing a lot of John Lennon, Neil Young, and some oddball Clash; been on a kick lately. That being said, Toast OUT!! Let me know if you want me to bring you anything back. Chili recipes and doofy cowboy gear, I'm looking at you here. Later boners.