It's Opening Day!!!

That's right!! It's time to rise up and kick a little ass toastedblog faithful. ROCK, FLAG, and EAGLE!!!

At Least It's Not Emo.

Most people out there know that I loooove to rock. Last night while watching Xavier keep my bracket alive by defeating West Virginia I was rocking sump'in sweet in the background, that being a nice little i-pod mix from the White Stipes that I went ahead and created yesterday during lunch (if you play your cards right internet audience I could very well share it with you as we close out this post). What was I doing before basketball you ask, well I was rocking to the highest power while I was completing my man-tastic workout at the gym. All edge I tells ya. Hell, my mantasticalness is so potent half of you ladies that be reading the nonsense that I kick just got pregnant. Computers sure are doing a lot these days.

However, for all the rockin' that the Toast is capable of, there is a more subdued and tender side to the Toast and his musical tastes. Call it wuss rock, call it indie. Go ahead and call it art rock if you will, although that is more of a "Zappa term". Whether it be dubbed acoustic folk, chick rock, folk rock, or just straight up singer/songwriter with heart-felt lyrics rock my eclectic musical tastes sometimes will lead me there. I've often been accused by current best buddy and former college roommate "Little" Charlie Coville that I have indeed lost my edge. What about you internet audience?? How do you feel about this matter?? Have I....Mayor McToast...Toastmaster General....Casey to those in the know, lost my edge??

Whatever!! I have nothing to prove to you, internet reader!! So I enjoy "The Shins" from time to time, big deal. Who cares if I dig bands such as "The Decemberists", I kinda like it. So what if I want to go ahead and listen to PJ Harvey all while sitting alone in the candle light with my thoughts, dreams and emotions (check out "Grow Grow Grow" and "Silence" off of White Chalk....very nice). Go to hell Little Crapper, I still have edge. I was just rockin' some bad ass "Queens of the Stone Age" just a little while back as I was perusing expiring insurance policies within the next 30 days and nothing screams edge having like a post due general liability insurance policy, and QOTSA.

So what exactly is the meaning of all of this you ask. Well, I sat here thinking to myself about my edge, lack-there-of, and these non-rocking beats I sometimes check out as I was giving another solid listen to the soundtrack to the movie Once . Pretty much doing nothing but being stationary at my desk in my office after lunch and just debating what task to tackle next or do I just go home at 3:30. About four months ago Kool-Aid and I picked up Once and if you haven't checked out the movie and you aren't concerned with whether or not your former college roommate thinks you still have that hard rocking edge full time or not I fully suggest giving it a look see. More importantly, do yourself a favor and pick up the soundtrack as you'll want to have the ability to listen to Glen Hansard following your initial viewing (I particularly enjoy "Say it to Me Now", "Leave", and "Trying to Pull Myself Away"). Also, go out and get yourself some music from "The Frames"; the nice little Irish band of which Mr. Hansard hails (Dance the Devil is the tops). The amount of energy and emotion Hansard puts into his music is definitely something that should be experienced.

*And for those paying attention, Toastmaster General's White Stripes Mix*

- "Blue Orchid" Get Behind Me Satan
- "Hello Operator" De Stijl
- "Black Math" Elephant
- "Astro" The White Stripes
- "Why Can't You Be Nicer To Me?" De Stijl
- "Expecting" White Blood Cells
- "There's No Home For You Here" Elephant
- "A Martyr For My Love For You" Icky Thump
- "Apple Blossom" De Stijl (the tops I tells ya!!)
- "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground" White Blood Cells
- "Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine" Elephant
- "Denial Twist" Get Behind Me Satan
- "Stop Breaking Down" The White Stripes
- "I'm Bound to Pack It Up" De Stijl
- "Take Take Take" Get Behind Me Satan
- "Little Cream Soda" Icky Thump
- "Hypnotise" Elephant
- "Let's Build a Home" De Stijl
- "Fell in Love With a Girl" White Blood Cells
- "Catch Hell Blues" Icky Thump
- "Seven Nation Army" Elephant
- "Little Bird" De Stijl (one can sing awesome guitar sounds with this beat)

Its Van Damme Friday people; make some noise!!

Useless Item No. 6438: Stupid Pocket on Pants

Currently I am wearing pants; khaki pants. What I want to know is, can someone please tell me what the hell this tiny pocket up near the right-side front belt loop is for and what it is doing there?? Take a look at the link; go ahead...I'll wait.

Really, is someone going to put change in that fucking thing?? I think it's supposed to be for one of those pocket watches on a chain but is anyone aside from men clad in bowler hats (see also: derby) and a monocle circa early 1900's still using those things. And the pocket just keeps getting bunched up under there while I wear these bad boys and office folk here give me strange looks as I attempt to straighten that damn thing out.

What's the deal pant makers?? Can't a guy just get a regular pair of khaki's anymore, without all of these randomly placed pockets, pouches, and fucking zippers?? All I want is a pair of khaki pants that I can wear to work that make my butt look amazing so kool-aid would like to get all up ons, either before I leave for the office or when I drag my ass in the door following a long day workin' for the man. I didn't ask for random pockets to be placed wherever you wanted. And who are the case studies these pant producers reference when they are green-lighting pant prototypes?? If I ever run into the designer who thought the idea of a random pocket right underneath the front belt loop was a bang-up idea I'm going to kick them in the shin....HARD. These guys are probably the same guys that ride their bike to work and brag about it. I can't get started on them now so we'll have to devote an entire post to those people soon.

**Sidenote**
Don't even think like the Toast is all against riding bikes to work. It's a dynamite way to get some exercise, save on gas, and help the environment. But do they have to rub it in our faces by walking into the office all sweaty carrying their twelve speed decked out like fucking Lance Armstrong??

also gonna hit y'all with some of this....POW!!

Assorted Random Toast Highlights:

- Today's post-lunch iTunes pop up of "Mah Nà Mah Nà" from The Muppet Show leaves the Toast with a little extra bounce in his step.

- I popped a filling in a molar on Friday and yesterday featured my first trip to a dentist not named Dr. James Carpenter. At first it was a bit odd but then I got to know the Bolivian dental hygienist. Nice!

- Few things satisfy like driving along with the windows down as you pump "Brass Monkey".

- Jello pudding cups care fucking delicious and they should be included in every lunch at all costs.

- Pearl Jam tix are still not on sale. This is me, waiting patiently.

- This past Saturday morning featured a post-gym, three hour plus, online fantasy baseball draft complete with gratuitous amounts of chocolate milk, an egg, ham, and cheese bagel, a touch of the "good stuff", and a viewing of Robocop. Few things have made me happier; is that sad?? That being said, my team, the Spanish Pantalones, is the shit!!

- I made a ham on Easter, what of it??

- It's 65 degrees and sunny outside, how can I get out of the office and start golfing??

- Kool-aid is sick; sexy time is at an all time low, video game playing steadily rising.

- Make mental note to eat more eggo waffles as those fuckers are tasty.

hey!!! look who it is!!!

The Toast was sent this picture of hims-self just the other day. Not much to say really, its just me at a "hole in the wall" bar on a night out with a few good buddies last summer, just days before my move down to DC. No real reason for posting it, just that it makes me remember that I am pretty badass....in a goofy Irish sort of way. I think I ate nachos that night.

Two Words....FUCK and YES!!!

Pearl Jam is fucking coming to Washington D.C.!!! Commence fists to full on rocking positions. This show now gives the Toast his top two bands in consecutive months (Toast's no. 2, Radiohead, is May 11th). Both concerts in my fucking backyard!!! One couldn't make this shit up if they tried. I'm almost as excited as I was last night when Kool-Aid surprised me with a box of snickers ice-cream bars to enjoy during my college basketball binge. Good god those things are delicious.

Oh Mama!!

True, I should be pumped for my impending early afternoon flee from the office so I can hang out on the couch and watch me some college basketball while dreaming of what I will do with my bracket winnings (so far I have take kool-aid to one of those restaurants where they bring you all those meats on swords or trip to best buy to purchase "insert awesomely new video game system here"). And I am, I'm pumped to do that. But for some reason I can't help but to continually think about the kool-aid's left-over burrito from last night's post REI run to Moe's that I was fortunate enough to snag for lunch today. I'm so gonna reheat that pig and slather it in hot sauce and cheese. Rest easy toast, after pulling this one off, you deserve some time on the couch. YAY BURRITOS AND BALLIN'!!!

**quick sidenote**
kool-aid may go for me picking up a nintendo wii, but can I really turn down a ps3 or xbox 360? even more unlikely, will I be really be able to ignore meat on swords??

So you're a nursing home janitor living in Boston.....and what's your son's name again??

Remember when I said I went back home to Syracuse over the weekend, well that did actually happen. But what coincides with going home for a few days is the eventual drive home. Not gonna lie to you, but this is always dreaded. The last thing that one wants to do is spend their hung over Sunday on the road for upwards of 6 hours en route to Washington DC. Those who say this is something they want to do, go ahead and kick them in the teeth. They are fucking liars and must be dealt with accordingly.

Anywho, kool-aid and the toast made our return journey to DC early sunday afternoon and right near sunny scranton, pa did we decide to turn up the heat on this drive home with everyone's favorite grade school game, M.A.S.H. I had kool-aid digging through my briefcase as I cruised down interstate 81 to find my "blog" notebook to get things a-rollin. The Toast didn't do too badly for his-self pulling in a classy dame in Kate Beckinsale to father my 7 children. Of course the first born and heir to my Massachusetts estate is my eldest son, "Huey Lewis". I narrowly missed the luxury of traveling to my job as a bikini inspector in a airplane made of biceps. I will instead have to deal with life as a nursing home janitor and will be forced to rely on getting back and forth to work in my sweet dune buggy. Other hopeful scenarios had me living the dream as a wealthy philanthropist who was fortunate enough to reel in Liz Phair and father a son named "Dingleman" while residing in my home on the Irish country-side. I guess it could be worse though, I could be driving the Weiner-Mobile to my shack inside Mt. Vesuvius.

Kool-aid had a rough go of it though. You're looking at D.C.'s newest skid-mark measurer and cleaner. We're not talkin' roads here either. Fortunately she does have a bumper car to transport her safely to and fro all those tainted underpants and will get the luxury of spending her homelife in an Croatian apartment with a pet armadillo named "goober".

Uhhhh.....

This past weekend I returned home to the ever impressive Syracuse, NY for some St. Patty's Day drinking. If you are from Syracuse or have ever been blessed with the opportunity to spend a "parade day" there you may know the goings on of which I speak. Now, its not a classy town, far from it actually. But those in the know realize that basically all there is to do in a town like Syracuse, especially in the winter/"spring", is to drink. And I mean DRINK.

"what do you want to do tonight??" dunno, lets get drunk."

"hey there nice lady, you want to watch me slam an 18 pack and pass out??" (lady swoons)

there, you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?? internet readers better be as I am functioning at about 30% normal intellectual capacity and thus don't have the patience, or ability, to elaborate. For example, I just spent two solid minutes looking for the key that held the percent symbol (i.e. %) on my laptop here. this was proceeded by an uncomfortable 10 minute conversation with a co-worker discussing some of the haps for this monday here in the office. and this is now a full day after retarded central NY style boozin'. long story short I really have no idea on what I am doing today and for some reason I am typing this out for whatever internet audience my so called blog has. for your enjoyment you are reading how I am strugglin' a bit at the office following a trip to exquisite central new york so I can get hammered outside with my buddies over the course of 14 hours. in some aspects, I am proud of myself that I can still take down about 30 beers and enjoy the finer things in life (jamming 4 pieces of pizza following an incredibly risky drive home). its the fact that I am beginning to notice that this whole binge drinking is still affecting me and my attempts at normalcy now a few days afterwards, that's what irking the toast. GREAT...I can still hang, now just give me a few days to recollect my thoughts. I mean, I have a list of symptoms taking me down whilst I try simple activities today. SYMPTOMS?!?!

1. body feels like I fell down a flight of stairs
2. have toughness of an easily bruised piece of fruit
3. constant brain is fuzzy feeling
4. ability to recollect information constantly fading
5. simple tasks = fucking difficult
6. conversation skills at an all-time low

Am I complaining??? Kinda. Is there anything that I can and will do about it??? Well, short of stopping the occasional drink till I'm blind mentality I don't really think so. Not until I pop out a few little toasts will I be forced to give up on that dream. Am I making any sense?? Eh..not really. Realistically I am going to look back on this post in a day or so, maybe even less, and really wonder what the hell I was thinking and why was I typing it down. I just know that right now the toast is all over the place and trying to not make the higher ups all around me aware of what it is. we'll see how this ends up panning out. so far the outlook is fair to midland.

**quick sidenote**
the percent symbol is on the 5.

And I thought I knew what awesome was...

until I stumbled across this.

I'm a MAN!!

so who cares if I left my deodorant in my gym bag and that stayed overnight in the car causing me to use some of kool-aid's antiperspirant because I didn't want to go outside and get mine in the cold, dark morning. I'm a MAN!! A man whose sweater smells like flowery baby powder.....uh..this stuff is more potent than anticipated.

I'm a MAN!!!

Toastmaster General's "News of the Weird"

ok, so stuff seems to happen when I drive to work. what's the deal you ask. realistically, I just don't know. maybe its due to the amount of traffic on the roads down here in DC?? maybe it has to do with the number of foreign automobiles or young republicans and their inability to "think"?? who knows??? all that I seem to know is that shit goes down when I am on the path to workies every morning during the week. so what was it this morning??

as I was taking my normal route that is the magical jefferson davis parkway I drove past some car that had stopped directly behind a jeep wrangler with a few people just kinda standing all around it, some on the side of the road, some in front of said jeep. just passing it off as a bit of a fender bender I proceeded to cruise by at about 20 miles per hour as this is the going rate leading up to a stop light about a hundred yards past this particular intersection. knowing full well that the light ahead of me had just turned to red I decided to partake in an action that is not a normal thing for the toast. what is it you ask my internet faithful, well that would be "rubber-necking"; you know, turning your head to check out the accident, cop giving motorist ticket, and so on, which, in turn, disrupts all traffic cruising behind you. now, normally I'll go ahead and hop on board with the "rubber necking" only when passing by a lady that I have to get another look at (ahem..kool-aid) but this was one time I was glad that I gave it a go. as I passed this little scene I previously set up for you my only reaction was to chirp the following: "oh shit!" what I saw was a few grocery bags, some milk splattered on the ground, and a middle aged man lying motionless on the ground. now, this kinda surprised me as it wasn't the accident I was expecting to see. what really surprised me more was the fact that the five or six people surrounding the scene really didn't seem to distraught by the goings on. I don't know about you, but when I come across a possible dead man lying a few feet in front of me you're going to be hearing an awful lot of "oh fuck's!" and "what the shit's!" I'm certainly not going to be standing there casually like I am waiting in line for an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet.

LeVar Burton's "House o' Fixins"

and if you thought I'd be doing something better with my time this morning like going to meetings you thought like an idiot. the line about trading drugs for "not rape" got me going puh-RITT-ee good. ahh....mondays.

"I used to be a renegade, I used to fool around. But I couldn't take the punishment, and had to settle down"

Ah Huey Lewis. You are sooo..awesome. But this post is unfornately not about you. (Dangited!!) Lately I have been throwing some things around my head and I am still pretty much at a loss at what to do. Now, I have been playing rugby regularly for the past 5 years and I am wondering whether or not to, as they say, hang 'em up. The cleats that is. hang 'em up, you know, retire. I still really love to play, I just don't know if I can keep devoting the amount of time and effort anymore. Plus my body is really beginning to hate me. If you had my knees and shoulders you'd understand.

To start this off, rugby came back to me really at a time in need. Back in '03 I was to experience a terrible break up following a long relationship and I spent the next few months in a funk to end all funks. As a way to break myself free and just forget what was going on I chose to look into something I had always had the desire of doing, which was, playing rugby. aside from a few practices when I was in college I really didn't have too much experience and due to my previously reconstructed shoulder, rugby never had gotten the full go ahead with me. but, the beautiful thing about rugby is, it's easy to learn. as long as you can run like crazy, don't mind getting hit, like short shorts, and can make some tackles (no matter how big the fella running at you is) you can play rugby.

over the next few years I began to rediscover who I was while playing this game. I love contact. I love to get hit and make some hits. I just love being active and competitive and along the way I was fortunate enough to have made some lifelong friends and to pretty much get in the best shape of my young life. I was single for the most part and having a blast getting my head stomped on. I made some plays, was a part of many road trips, won championships, drank a ton, broke my thumb, broke a tooth, disclocated my knee on seperate occasions, and I am pretty sure that I destroyed some ligaments in my right ankle, all without missing a single game and all the while having a blast.

well, a number years have passed and I have found myself at a crossroads. when I moved down here to virginia one of the first things that I did find local rugby squads to be a part of. only problem was that I didn't really get settled down here when I started and the past few rugbyless months have kind of shown me who I am now-a-days. Don't get me wrong, I'm still wicked awesome. Just now I am unsure what I want to do as I am now relationship toast. and this is in no way a bad thing, its great even. Rugby, you see, takes a great deal of time and time is a luxury when you are a 28 year old with a shitload to do. but when you have to devote two nights a week to practice, your entire saturday getting hit and then drinking, and follow that up with a sunday of recovery, there is not much left for you to get out there and really live. throw in the fact that the rugby season is: winter getting in shape and healing all wounds (I believe I have a small tear in my right knee and with the majority of the past few months spent resting and gaining weight I still don't think everything is gravy), spring season from march till may, a few weeks off, summer sevens, a few weeks off, pre-season workouts at the end of summer, and fall season lasting from labor day to mid november, what time is there to have for yourself?? I am constantly looking into things to do with kool-aid, you know, fun outdoorsy stuff and am doing a great job jotting some down and even joining a few. Camping, hiking, an ultimate frisbee league (which I've joined), softball, going to shows, traveling, mountain biking..how am I going to accomplish this with a frenzied rugby schedule??

Realistically I am just getting my thoughts out on paper...so to speak. Of course I am going to continue playing but who really knows for how long. I was serious about the tear in the knee thing. I mean, I do really think that there is something wrong there. But I have always had this vision of myself playing well into my forties and having my family at games watching dad get run over only to occasionally make a good play. Besides, I do really love to play. It just takes so much out of me and my body is already doing its best to fall apart. rugby is just so fuckin' great to be a part of though. "what are you doing this weekend?? Oh, playing rugby, thats bad ass." "why are you walking around like that?? got injured playing rugby the other day, jebus you're awesome!!" needless to say, I'll be back at it here in a few days as practices for the spring are already under way. I just think I need a bit longer to relax and get the head straight. I really do love playing the game, its just some of the things that go with it that make me second guess.